8. Lucy

I might hate Neco, but I wasn't going to ruin his sister's name day. We could spare Ronan. I sent Ollie with several loaves of bread and he was supposed to come back and help since we told Mom she had to rest. If we told her it was Rowena's name day, she would have come down and tried to run the tavern.

It would be mostly slow until everyone got off of work, but we'd still have people come in. Ollie's broth was ready, so I moved it off the fire and started a garlic ginger soup to cook. Ilyn was right. There could be more people, so I made a lot of it.

I cut a piece of crusty bread, smeared it with butter, and made a bowl of broth to bring up to Mom. She was upstairs darning our socks. She saw the look I was giving her.

"I've got a cough. I'm not dead."

"Don't say that," I said, making the gesture to ward off evil.

"You've always been way too serious, my one and only."

"Ollie made broth, and I made bread. He bought butter from their farm."

"Ugh. His aunt makes the best butter. Did you at least thank Ollie?"

Mom really wanted Ollie and me together, but I'd seen it go down before. The Barons didn't care if their daughters were with someone. If they ever needed anything from them, they expected them to pay them back at the brothels. Not all men were okay with that. And the Barons never actually gave their daughters a sum they needed to work off. It was just never paid until they couldn't work anymore.

If I could get us secure with my experiments in the basement, I wouldn't have to worry about asking my father for money and maybe I could tell my friends. There was always the possibility of a fucking disaster that was well beyond our means, though.

"I'm not a savage. Of course, I did."

She just laughed.

"You are when it comes to your friends."

Yeah, Mom saw right through me and knew it wasn't just Ollie. I was just around him the most.

"You're terrible," I laughed.

"No, I know you. I panicked when you came out a girl because I know what happens to daughters of Barons. I thought I was doing right raising you as a boy until I couldn't anymore. Maybe that was a mistake, but I don't regret the friends you made. I took your choice away once and I won't do it again. They are safe men to tell."

"I know. But if I ever have to ask him for help and he finds out I'm a girl, it's going to be the brothel. They'll do something stupid and get themselves killed."

Mom just looked at me sadly. She was about to say something when there was a crash downstairs. I told her to stay and eat while I went flying to check it out. Most people didn't get drunk and break things until much later.

Autar was sitting at a table with his face in his hands and had thrown his tankard against the wall. It was metal, so it didn't break. Ollie looked like he was five seconds from tossing Autar out, but Autar was a good guy. He was massive. Probably bigger than Neco, but he was a huge flirt and was always asking women to marry him. He was usually harmless. Part of running a tavern was figuring out when to toss people and went to listen. I had a feeling Autar needed an ear.

I plopped next to him.

"What's wrong and why are you throwing my tankards?"

The big guy looked up at me with red eyes. I wasn't going to say a damned thing about a man crying. If anything, more of them should.

"It's my father."

Autar grew up on one of the farms. He'd always been big, but working the land and with the animals had bulked him up. He was also a gentle giant who was good with animals.

"Is he sick?"

I immediately thought to my mom's cough.

"No, they lied to me. My mom and dad were married and running the farm when fucking Folcard showed up for something. My dad stepped out to get it and Folcard raped my mom. They aren't sure if I'm my dad or Folcard's, but Folcard came back and decided I was his. He claims I look exactly like the paintings of his ancestors, which he refuses to show as proof. He wants to use my size to turn me into his general. If I refuse, he's going to tax our farm out of existence."

Fucking Folcard. With everything I knew about him, that didn't shock me. And I couldn't throw my arms around Autar and hug him. If Folcard was his father, then that meant Autar was my half-brother.

I didn't particularly care to ever have any contact with my father. I don't think any of the Argent kids did, but we were all curious about our siblings. Most of us were only children. Neco was pretty unique with Rowena.

Still, it was this unspoken rule. Even if you knew, you didn't speak their name. It was like even speaking it was like cursing yourself. So, we'd wonder if we were related and compare features, but we never said the name out loud unless we had to.

Autar was being vulnerable right now. He could have told me anything. Folcard taxing his parents and forcing him into the service would have sufficed without telling me Folcard violated his mother and was possibly his father.

"Can I tell you a secret that might make that utter shite fucker possibly being your father slightly better? At least, I hope it will."

"What would make me feel best would be feeding him to our pigs, but I'm willing to try anything at this point."

"You have to make an oath with me not to tell anyone."

"I swear."

"Folcard is definitely my father. We might be half-siblings."

"No shit? How'd you end up so scrawny then?"

"Shut the fuck up. I'm magnificent."

"Magnificently puny."

"While you were shoveling shit, I was tossing drunks out of this tavern when we got out of school. You want to throw down with someone who could manage a raging drunk at thirteen?"

Autar snorted.

"Fuck, no. And if Folcard had any sense, he wouldn't want me as his general. I might be big, but I hate conflict. This is terrible. And I'm going to have to be around him knowing what he did to my mom and I can't do a damned thing about it."

"You can come back here for a drink and some food while we talk shit about him. It's not as satisfying as breaking his nose, but I'm really good at insulting people who deserve it."

"And the food is good, the spirits get you drunk, and all the pretty women drink here."

I rolled my eyes.

"One of them is going to dump their drink on you and hit you one of these days."

Autar winked at me.

"Who's to say they haven't when you weren't working? Eventually, one of them will marry me."

"You have to earn it and be serious when you ask first."

"I am. Sometimes, I see a pretty, sassy woman and I want her to be my wife. She says no and then ten minutes later, I see another pretty sassy woman who is also wife material, so I ask."

"No one wants to be proposed to by a giant drunk man in a tavern. It either needs to be special or a mutually beneficial arrangement."

Autar's eyes narrowed at me.

"Pretty sure you don't understand women any better than I do. No one knows what they want."

I rolled my eyes.

"They are all just as varied as men and you can find out what they want by doing what you do with other men. You ask them."

"I'm pretty sure you're wrong about that."

Ugh. You got to see both sides of things when you were a woman pretending to be a man. I certainly got treated differently because no one thought I was a woman. We weren't all that different, there were just certain things expected of us and some physical limitations.

I could hunt just as well as Autar could, but I didn't own a horse to get large kills home and our donkey was too stubborn to take hunting. Once he learned how, Ollie was a fantastic cook. Beck was just as much a den mother to the girls as the Madame was.

And I couldn't explain any of that to my possible half-brother because he wouldn't believe me unless I told him how I knew all that.

"Just trust me. Talk to them like you talk to your guy friends."

"No way. My guy friends are super ugly and they don't smell good like women. I'd be lying if I told them they were pretty and I liked their smell. They'd probably kick my arse, too. You're kinda pretty for a guy and you don't stink, but you might be my brother and that's weird. You should also consider it a compliment that I said you're not ugly like most men because we're all hideous."

"You're just only attracted to women, and that's okay."

"I can't tell my guy friends they have superb tits. They'll hit me."

I snorted.

"You say that to the wrong woman and she'll hit you, too."

"Man, you don't understand women at all, Lance. Every woman loves it when you compliment her tits."

He didn't get it, so I hit him on behalf of all women. He'd think it was just a little brother thing, but I hope he at least got the message.

"Okay, okay! Don't beat me. I'll take it under advisement next time I see a woman with glorious tits."

"Seriously, when you're not working for Folcard, come in to eat and drink. We should get to know each other better now that we know we might be related and I want to watch when a woman with magnificent tits kicks your arse in my tavern."

"How about we place a wager? If that big-tittied woman ever kicks my arse in your bar, I'll set up something between your tavern and our farm."

"And if you win?"

My half-brother just grinned at me.

"I talk a lot but I'm rarely serious. I know you're right, but I'm going to make you earn it."

I fell out laughing. Autar was a few years older than me, so I wasn't as close to him as I was with my friends. He drank a lot in our tavern and he got along with everyone, me included.

"I hate that your whole life imploded, but it's kind of cool you might be my brother. My mom always liked you."

"Oh, your mom has beautiful tits."

I knew he was just giving me a hard time, so I hit him again. I would have hit him for that even if he knew I was really his half-sister.