20. Lucy

I was able to get a ton of vodka started. I only took a break to bring Mom some dinner. She had fallen asleep in her chair fixing some holes in our clothes. The tavern was doing pretty well, but Mom had always been extra frugal. She also had money stashed all over our flat. We did what everyone did when their clothes got holes. We mended them until the whole garment was falling apart before he replaced it.

She was already in bed when I finished up in the basement and I woke up before her again. I went straight downstairs to let Athan and Tarja in. Ollie passed the message to me that they saw Theda the other day and Neco recommended some herbs. Athan and Tarja wanted to come first thing in the morning, which I thought was a little odd because I made the appointment last minute, but now I was in a panic thinking they wanted to see her first after seeing Theda.

"Relax. You look like you're about to shit yourself," Tarja said.

Tarja had the same demeanor as her brother Ilyn. I'd say that meant I preferred Athan since he was the sweetest of the siblings, but I could appreciate a woman who said what she thought, even if it was mean. I got away with it because everyone thought I was a man. I learned it from Mom and not everyone appreciated it when she did it.

There also seemed to be an age rule. Tarja was older than dirt and it seemed more acceptable to everyone when she was crass and insulting than when Mom was putting a drunk in their place. Being a woman was fucking complicated. Being me was complicated. Sometimes I felt more male than female and I definitely didn't have the equipment. Sometimes, I didn't know how I felt at all and was just existing.

"Probably because I am. My mom is coughing up blood," I shot back.

"A good reason to shit yourself, but would ruin a perfectly good pair of trousers. Let's get a look at her and maybe settle your mind," Athan said.

I didn't know how Athan was related to Tarja and Ilyn. He was also old, but had always been good natured and jovial. Athan had been better with sick kids than Tarja. Athan usually took the kids and Tarja took the adults. They were both quality healers, just with different bedside manners. I wanted both of them for Mom.

"I heard you saw Theda the other day."

"Oh, yes. But the Madame has rules at her brothel. Theda quarantined when she first got the cough, so if anyone else caught it, it was probably minor. Did you get a cough for a little while?"

"I mean, maybe? We don't have a room for sick people like the brothel, but if Mom thinks she's coming down with something, she usually tries to keep away from everyone, but especially me."

"There was something minor going around recently. Stuffy noses, body aches, and a little cough. It resolved on its own for most people, but it set an infection in Theda's lungs. It could clear up with the herbs or it could take a turn for the worse. If it gets bad, Neco will have to contact his father because of a compound she'll need. We'll have to check your mom out to know for sure it's the same with her. If it is, you're an Argent, too. You'll have to find out who your father is so you can get that compound," Athan said.

Unless I could work something out with Leodos to get the monarchy's healer to sell me this compound. Even I knew that was a longshot. Leodos was great. He didn't just look out for Guttertown. He respected my mom because he liked her spirits and he only bought them from us. He always paid her more than she asked and he taught me how to fight when I was younger.

I couldn't say the same for the monarchy. I didn't even know what they looked like. The Tempris were supposed to have red hair, but not even that would help me identify them. Rumor had it they'd been mixing with humans for so long their hair wasn't red anymore.

And a lot of men had a fetish of fucking a woman who could burn you to death if she lost control. It was a popular color for women to dye their hair at the brothel. The red-headed women said they made more money. There were different herbs to get red, and it was all different hues. No one knew which one was an accurate representation of Tempris red, but men didn't particularly care when it came to fantasies.

I left Athan and Tarja in our sitting room and went to wake Mom. I didn't tell her I called the healers last night because she'd get mad at me. She groaned as her eyes fluttered open.

"What is it?"

"Athan and Tarja are here to check you out."

"What'd you do that for?"

"Because you're sick. Now, get up."

"They grow up and get bossy," she grumbled, getting up and putting her robe on.

"Does anyone want tea?" I asked as she laid on the couch while they checked her out.

"I'll take a drink when we leave," Tarja said.

"You can't get drunk and see patients," Athan fussed.

"I'll do what I damned well please, old man!"

"Don't give it to her."

"Aimes said you had a new drink. I'll take payment in that," Tarja said.

"New drink?" Mom asked.

"A Bloody Mary. I've been experimenting with my new spirits. It's good."

"Aimes said it'll put hair on your chest and mess you up."

"You don't need any more hair on your chest."

Tarja thumped her brother on the head.

"You hush."

I didn't understand healers at all, so I didn't know what tests they were doing and why. It made sense to them and they had training in this. They finally stopped and told us their diagnosis.

"It's the same thing with Theda. It was the cough that was going around a few weeks ago. It morphed into an infection of the lungs. I'll tell you what herbs to get and how to make the tonic. It could clear up or it could get worse. I'll take that drink now."

I led the healers down to the tavern. I had just enough vodka to make Theda a Bloody Mary. She was peering at me while I was making her drink.

"It could get worse and it's already bad. As an Argent, you have options the rest of Guttertown doesn't. Mainly, your father. You can save your mom and lose your autonomy or she'll die if it gets bad. The compound she needs is something only the Baron's healers know how to make."

"We've been trying to come up with alternatives or how to make that compound ourselves, but we don't have the right equipment. And we can't make it without the copper. We're trying, but we're not there yet. My son has rigged something up, but we can't get our hands on the original recipe, so we're really just shooting in the dark here."

"And testing it is complicated. We need sick people to see if it would work. We'd prefer testing it on ourselves, but if we don't have the illness, it can't be us."

"I think Mom would prefer being one of your experiments to having me contact my father."

"It could cause more harm than good," Tarja said, accepting the Bloody Mary.

"Go slow with that. It's strong."

"Psh. I have a stronger constitution than Aimes. Oh, this is divine. This is going to take off."

Ollie came in because it was time for him to get started. He grinned when he saw Tarja and Athan because he knew why they were here.

"Who is that stunning woman enjoying our new beverage?"

"I'm not drunk enough to believe a strapping young man thinks I'm stunning. You don't need to flirt. The drink speaks for itself."

I started laughing. Did I just meet a woman who was immune to Ollie? He shot me a filthy look because he knew why I was laughing.

"Fuck you, Lance," he muttered.

"I'm going to talk to Mom. We made a pact to never take away the other's choice when I was ten. I kind of did that calling the two of you, but I don't regret it. She's never wanted me to have to contact my father. I think she'd be willing to try the remedies you're cooking up, and she'd prefer it over my going to my father."

I couldn't lose her. She took my choice away when she raised me as a boy and never told me until she couldn't keep that secret from me anymore. Mom promised to never do that to me again, and I swore I'd do the same with her.

She played an extremely risky game when I was younger, but it was a lot harder to keep a secret now that I'd gone through puberty. It would be nearly impossible if I got conscripted into my father's army, but I could do it.

Mom was up and making something to eat when I got back upstairs.

"No more healers unless they are from Guttertown. I don't want you contacting your father, Lucy. I mean it. I wasn't with him because I wanted to be. He wasn't some charming, handsome man that swooped into Guttertown and I fell in love, but was smart enough to keep an exit plan when he left.

"I know that's the big story with Guttertown women and the Argent kids. That we fall for their sexual prowess and lies because we're stupid. That's not how it goes at all. The Barons come here and fixate on a woman. We can't say no or they will make our lives miserable. Theda didn't fall for it twice. She didn't have a choice the first time or the second.

"Ever wonder why the brothels don't have babies running around all over the place and women who don't want babies never end up with them except for when the Barons are involved? The royal family has only been able to have one child. They aren't not having sex after they have the one.

"The herbs to stop a baby are very effective if used correctly. I can't prove this, but the Barons profit off their illegitimate children every time. I'm pretty sure they are messing with those herbs the women are taking because Theda and I have always been friends, and we were taking ours faithfully. That's the kind of man you're dealing with. I don't want you going to him."

"I don't want to go to him but I don't want to lose you, either. Athan and Tarja are working on some experimental remedies, but they said the Barons have a compound that could cure you. Tarja and Athan said what they are working on could cure you or kill you. They can't test it on themselves because they aren't sick. You'd be their test subject. I'm not taking your choice away, but I am giving you options."

"We both know if I do nothing, you're going to go straight to your father, my one and only. I know you're bull-headed and do what you think is best because you got that from me. I don't want to die, either. Your father is dangerous. He's the worst of all the Barons and you're a woman, sweetie. He's only going to have one use for you if he finds out. Athan and Tarja are brilliant. They are really only limited by their equipment. If it comes down to it, I want their remedies, no matter how experimental, over all the strings that would come with the one your father would give."

I had to tell her. I told her everything.

"I asked Leodos if he could get something from the royal healer."

"Leodos is a good man, and he speaks highly of the princess and king, but that's not going to happen. The royal healer might work for the palace and treat the monarchy, but we don't know what the stock of him is. The Barons want the Tempris off the throne. They've probably got the healer in their pocket, reporting any sickness and how close they are to losing their magic.

"They'd report back that they were asked to make a compound when the royal family wasn't sick. They'd probably get a pretty penny for it, too. With the Princess Lisana missing, they'd cause a stink and they could use it to say Joron and Esylle have been keeping her hidden. At the least, they'd look into who it was for and when they traced it back to you, they'd make you pay it back, even if you already paid the healer."

"Fuck. I hate Nestran sometimes. We outnumber the Barons. I don't see why we don't just rise up and get rid of them."

"Dangerous talk, Lucy. It sounds easy, but it's not. You'd have to find someone everyone in Nestran could rally behind. I'm talking all of Nestran. You'd have to unite the merchants, artisans, farmers, Guttertown, and the shifters to work together. We all hate them, but those groups all hate each other, too. Some of those groups would hate someone who tried to unite all of them simply because of where they're from or what magic they have. The person you're looking for doesn't exist."

"One day, things are going to get bad enough that they do."

"Well, when that day happens, you can convince Guttertown to join their cause."

"You can join me because I refuse to lose you."

I did. Plan A with Leodos was a bust. I got why it wouldn't work. Plan B was Athan and Tarja.

Hopefully, I never had to move to plan C, which was betraying Mom and losing my freedom.