11. Neco

L ance Argent needed to stay the fuck away from me. I appreciated the soup for Momma, but he could have sent it through Beck or Ollie. Even Ronan would have been better. I'd forgiven Ronan.

He'd drawn for hours and didn't take a break until the kids stopped asking for drawings. If someone wanted more than one, Ronan happily did it. He must have done at least five for Rowena alone that were now hanging in her bedroom and she couldn't stop talking about them. Ronan had grown into a good man as far as I was concerned.

And then there was Lance. I don't think any of them understood why I was so mad at him. Lance and I were both Argents. I knew who my father was because he came back around, but Lance wouldn't unless Caitrin told him.

We could have been half-brothers, and we bonded over that. We snuck into each other's rooms at night and would stay up talking. And that was when it happened. Lance Argent became my first crush.

I pushed everyone away because I needed to focus on learning to protect my family if we were going to be living in the brothel. I locked my window to keep Lance out and ignored him when he knocked because I was an idiot ten-year-old who wanted to have their first kiss with someone who might be their half-brother.

And then when I came back to school, some kids were making fun of me because I got my arse beat and lost an eye. I hadn't learned to fight back, and I hadn't hit my growth spurt yet. I was still pretty small and scrawny. I'd been planning to walk away and bide my time, but then Lance joined in.

It hurt like fuck. Outside of my family, I'd been the closest to Lance. I thought punching Lance in the face would make me feel better and kill that crush, but it didn't. I went home and it still hurt.

I left my window open that night to see if he'd come back. We could talk it out and move on. I could explain to him why I needed space to train for now, but I might eventually be able to make my way back to all of them. Lance never came.

And Lance kept getting more beautiful every year. It was unfair for a man to look like that. He wasn't too masculine, and he had a little bit of a feminine look about him. It could confuse people, but if they tried to do anything to Lance, he was a pretty good fighter.

Seeing Lance set me into this rage. Moreso than the rest of my friends because they didn't hurt me like he did and that stupid childhood crush never went away. I still wanted to know what it felt like to kiss Lance and that very much couldn't happen until I knew we weren't related.

So, I'd been trying really hard to convince myself that Lance was a terrible person who hit at me during one of my worst moments and he wasn't worth my feelings. Then, he did shit like bring us soup because Momma was sick.

Ugh. I'd feel a lot better if I could kill someone, but Keeva drilled it into me that an assassin without a code was just a serial killer. Serial killers usually made mistakes and got caught. I couldn't kill someone because I was having a bad day. If I let emotion get involved, I'd fuck something up.

My family was eating the soup, and I slipped out of our rooms. I didn't know where I was going or what I was going to do, but Lance lived next door in the tavern and that just seemed too close right now.

I went to storm out, but Beck found me and pounced. Since we lived in the same building, I was closer to Beck than I was with my old friends now. We protected the girls together and Beck took care of all of them, my mom and Rowena included.

"You look like you're ready to do something stupid and end up in the cells. Come spar with me."

We were both trained by his uncle in fighting, but I took additional lessons with Keeva that he didn't really know about. I was almost certain Beck didn't know his aunt who baked the best sweets in Guttertown could slit a man's throat without anyone in his house knowing.

Yeah, that would do. We were pretty evenly matched with our fists. I was bigger than Beck, but Beck was faster than me. We walked to the courtyard and took our shirts off. Lance was beautiful in this ethereal androgynous way, but Beck was pretty in a dangerous way.

His skin was dark and his body roped with muscle. His hair fell to his waist since he'd never cut it, but when he was working, he tied it back with a piece of leather. It was already tied back, so we just needed to set some boundaries so we didn't beat the shit out of each other. This was a friendly spar.

"No touching my hair and no hitting the face. If I pin you, you have to tell me what's really going on with you and Lance. I always knew I'd eventually learn to protect and care for these girls. You stepped up for all of them when your mom moved in. I get why you stepped away from us better than anyone. You could have come back when you were trained. You still could."

I grunted. I needed to let off some steam, but I definitely didn't want to spill my guts about Lance Argent. I guess I'd just have to win.

"If I pin you, we never talk about Lance Argent ever again."

Beck just smirked and my cock and I definitely paid attention to that. I had to calm down because I didn't want Beck to feel or see that. I definitely didn't need to catch feelings for yet another one of my friends. And Beck was definitely flirting with me because he winked.

"You know you just gave me extra motivation to get you underneath me?"

Definitely flirting. I rather liked it. Most people who flirted with me were utterly insane and I didn't particularly want them anywhere near my family. I just got vibes off of them they'd get clingy and probably kill Rowena's cat when I tried to get rid of them. Beck wasn't like that.

"I don't know. I'm pretty motivated to not discuss my feelings about Lance with anyone."

Beck gave a belly laugh, but then he exploded at me. We'd set the rule no damage to the face, but a good throat punch would end most fights. We both started learning when we got out of school. I hadn't hit my growth spurt yet and was pretty puny, so I was taught to go straight for the throat.

I grinned. Beck had clearly been taught that, too, and wanted to play. He knew I needed a good fight, but he also knew we'd be trained by the same man. I barely blocked him and got out of the way. I used his forward momentum to grab his arm, swing him towards me, and try to choke him out.

Fuck. Jagged Key Isles folks took these long-perfumed baths every day. He smelled really good. It was a combination of his natural musk with spices and a little vanilla. I heard Beck chuckle and while I was distracted by how good he smelled, he managed to jam his elbow up my ribcage and get away.

We faced each other with our fists raised. Beck was grinning like a psycho and I didn't need a mirror to know I was, too.

"Are you wearing perfume like the women?" I asked, throwing a fist at his gut.

I knew damned well about the perfumed baths. All the girls at the brothel had adopted the habit so they smelled good for the men. Rowena had gotten obsessed with them about a year ago, so I started buying her what she needed because I didn't want her raiding the brothel stash. It made her happy. I was mostly trying to get Beck talking so I could pin him.

I really didn't want to talk about Lance and if I lost and didn't fulfill the wager, Beck would never spar with me again.

He just laughed and danced away.

"Men of my culture take perfumed baths and wear scented oil. We carried that over with us when we came to Guttertown and introduced it. The rest of Nestran likes to pretend Guttertown is the unwashed masses, but I've been smelling the men who come in here since I was a child. We bathe much more often than the rest of Nestran," Beck said, trying to hook my knee with his foot.

I got a pretty good blow to his chest while he was distracted, but Beck was way too good at this. He could talk and beat a man's ass. Beck clipped my shoulder with his fist, so I danced away. I didn't think I'd had this much fun in a long time. Beck was grinning, too. We were pretty evenly matched because we were trained by the same man and I wasn't going to break out what Keeva taught me.

Beck broke rank and dove straight for my middle. I wasn't expecting it and went flying on my back with Beck on top of me. He had me pinned in an instant. The more I tried to buck him off, the more turned on I got.

I'd always been attracted to men. Lance was my first, but he wasn't the last. I'd never acted on my urges because my momma wanted grandbabies and Rowena wanted a nephew. I was attracted to women, too, so I just focused on them. The women who were attracted back to me were more unhinged than I was and that was a pretty hard thing to be.

Still, I was pinned beneath Beck and painfully erect. I definitely didn't want to talk about Lance. So, I snapped my head up and kissed Beck. It was my first kiss with a man.

And it was everything.