Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-One

Vale

My bones were wrung out when I woke the next morning, but Cypherion's arms kept me tight against him, holding me together.

I laid there in the dawn, lulled by the even rise and fall of his chest under my head. My eyes were swollen despite Cypherion making me wash my face with cold water once I stopped crying last night. A hollow had formed within my chest when I'd finally cracked, fissures stretching from its delicate edges through the rest of my body. Down to the marrow of my bones and the wisps of my spirit—something had broken.

But I studied the sun streaking through the window and illuminating specks of dust in the air, and I realized that I didn't feel as aimless as those wandering particles.

I expected the ache to weigh me down. To make moving on seem a mountainous task in the face of realizing how many lies I'd been fed. The questions still swarmed within me.

What was in that office?

Why did Titus keep secrets?

Why did he keep me ?

But instead of sinking into the dark cavern, my magic tingled beneath my skin. It called to me, bolstered me.

There was a hollow in me. One yawning to swallow everything I knew, unrepentant and leaving nothing behind. But the deepest voids between the stars held a refracted beauty. A lack of light that allowed one to exist with the secrets one didn't want to face.

The ones I never would have chosen to conquer if I'd remained within my cage.

Those bars had been blown wide open, my future with them. And though I had so many questions, I wanted to explore what lurked where the stars broke.

Cypherion stirred, his arms tightening around me. "Good morning, Stargirl," he mumbled, his voice thick with sleep.

"Good morning." I rolled onto my stomach to face him. Reluctantly, he loosened his grip but kept one hand across my back, drawing slow circles along my spine, but he didn't open his eyes. "Still not a morning person?"

Cypherion was always the first to arrive at training when we were in Damenal, but no one else saw how he had to drag himself out of bed and dunk his face in cold water to wake himself up for the day.

He groaned. "I like the morning well enough. I don't like the waking up part much. Especially not when it means you're getting out of my bed."

I laughed softly, and finally, he cracked one eye open. Confusion unfurled in his stare, waking him fully as last night came back to him.

"How are you?" he asked, propping himself on an elbow and evaluating me.

"I'm okay," I said. When he gave me a skeptical look, I added, "I truly am. I don't have the answers, yet, but I feel as if I've accepted the truth."

"Acceptance is a good place to start." Absently, he smoothed his fingers up my spine. "What do you want to do now?"

"What do you mean?" I cocked my head.

Something softened behind his eyes. Not pity, but unease. "We can leave, Vale."

"We can't?—"

He pushed himself upright, leaning against the headboard. "If it's too hard or too risky for you to be here, we can leave. Go back to Ophelia and everyone and figure out some other way to restore your readings and get the answers we need."

"I won't be selfish or afraid of my magic," I said, sitting up and crossing my legs. "I want to help Ophelia find these emblems if I can, and I want to get answers about my own power."

I was tired of being in the dark.

A small smile quirked on Cypherion's lips at my determination. "Then we'll get them. How, though? Last night…"

I shook my head, at a loss for an explanation. I hadn't just frozen when I saw Titus's office—I'd shattered. There was some sort of pull from me to be there. To see him.

"I don't know what that was, but we'll avoid the sixth level when we return. I know it's there now. I can prepare myself mentally, and…"

"And?" he asked when I paused.

I blew out a breath, but wings of anticipation fluttered in my chest. "And I think I'll need to read. Or at least attempt it." Cypherion opened his mouth to argue, eyes growing defensive, but I continued, "I've been avoiding it for too long."

"Remember what happened in the Labyrinth and Seawatcher Territory when you conducted sessions." A hint of desperation pierced his voice, those memories flashing between both of us. "Or at the fighting ring when you weren't even trying to read."

"Maybe I need to stop suppressing it," I suggested, leaning forward and taking his hand. "My magic has been more insistent since we've been in Valyn. It's been calling to me, begging me to use it, and if I don't let it out soon, I fear I'll lose that battle."

And it was the use of that word that broke through to him. Fear . Because Cypherion lived to protect those he cared about.

"You didn't mention," he said, concern weighing his gaze as it dragged across my body again, like he could target that power and rescue me from any pain it may cause.

"I was trying to avoid it." I shrugged. Goosebumps peppered my skin at the Fate ties stirring within me, voices attempting to call me. I shoved them down to finish explaining, my voice soft. "I've always embraced my magic before, never stifled it. I thought I could ignore it this time, but last night proves I can't run from everything."

Cypherion's hand tightened around mine. "And you think a session will fix something?"

I nodded. "Reading has always been the answer for me. When I need guidance, I turn to the Fates."

"Okay," he conceded, mind ticking away as he meticulously crawled through our options. "But let's go to the archives first and get to the ninth level, then conduct the reading when we return here. We can gather whatever supplies you need today. If we save it for tonight, and the worst does happen, at least we'll be able to hide out here until you've recovered."

"That's a perfect plan," I agreed, but as we rose and prepared for the day, there was an edge to every one of his movements. His muscles tense, on the verge of that protective instinct; one I worried would only end up hurting him in the end.

Because Fates were unpredictable, and I was at their mercy for the rest of my long warrior life. And Cypherion was willing to position himself between me and the celestial beings if need be.