Chapter 7 - Gemma

I couldn’t stop my entire body from trembling, even as I reached the bedroom and closed the door behind me. I leaned against it as I sucked in deep, shaking breaths while my mind tried to make sense of what had just happened.

It was all too much.

My skin felt cold and somewhat damp from my strung-out nerves, and a chill moved through me as my mind lingered back in the kitchen.

Nothing about it felt real, given how ridiculous it was, and I wanted to make myself believe it never happened—that I wasn’t married to Ben and still had complete autonomy. That it had all just been some cruel trick, but everything would be normal by Monday.

Yet that notion proved the opposite to be true.

Even if I didn’t want it and I was coerced, I had signed those papers. I was legally married to a Levov and had been dragged into a world I didn’t want anything to do with.

Sure, I had welcomed the idea of Levovs, New York’s crime underbelly, and all the secrets surrounding it into my life by taking on that article, but I was just doing my job. I was trying to stand up and stand out to make a name for myself and to fulfill the dreams I had since I was a young girl.

And yet, chasing those dreams landed me potentially one of the worst outcomes imaginable.

I didn’t desire to be anywhere near the real thing. I preferred to study the organized crime world from afar, and to keep that distance so that it could continue to feel like fiction, in a sense. Like a story.

But I couldn’t disconnect myself from it like that anymore.

I was officially the wife of a notorious figure in that very world, even if I had a weak knowledge of the mafia.

While I always trusted my journalistic intuition to guide me, and I wanted to have faith in that instinct, it seemed to have failed me, and there was no walking it back, regardless of how badly I wanted to.

Pushing away from the door as the overwhelming emotions mounted within me, I went to the bed and dropped myself onto it. I curled my legs up and hugged them while I tried to keep my mind from cracking entirely.

I hated the idea of being married to someone I didn’t know anything about, especially not while aware of his connections and the heinous acts he and his family committed.

While I'd pictured myself getting married one day, I never imagined it would happen this way. I certainly thought I would have a basic understanding and connection with the man I decided to marry.

Even if he had been a massive ass and a nightmare for even forcing me into the arrangement, there was no missing how Ben at least seemed to want to be a decent person. It didn’t make matters all that much better, but he had changed his tune slightly. At the very least, he didn’t feel the need to threaten my life. That standard seemed very low in the grand scheme of things, but for me, in this uncertain time, it made a big difference.

Thanks to his unlikely change of heart, I at least could return to work, even if it depended on the condition of me altering that article to save his skin. It wasn’t much, and it still made me feel like a prisoner, but that semblance of freedom was all I had.

It was the faintest light peeking through a cloud-filled sky, but it was enough to keep me from breaking down altogether.

At the very least, I wouldn’t have to drop my internship. I could still have something for myself. I already knew I would need it to keep myself sane through whatever the future may hold. The job would keep me busy, and so long as my mind was preoccupied, I wouldn’t have to dwell on my incredibly unfortunate situation during every waking moment.

***

I had no way of knowing how much time had passed while I stayed in bed, eventually conceding to slipping beneath the covers.

Even if my mind felt exhausted from enduring the legal process that morning, along with trying to understand the situation as a whole, I was too shaken to sleep. Every part of me just wanted to close my eyes and wake up to my old reality, but I wasn’t so lucky.

A tap at the door forced my entire body to tense up automatically as I froze in place.

Instinctively, my heartrate picked up, and I pulled in a shaky breath.

When I didn’t say anything, he knocked again.

“Get yourself ready,” Ben said from the other side, voice unshaken with resolve. “We’re going to meet my family for dinner to celebrate.”

My stomach dropped at the idea. Family. Celebrate.

He couldn’t be serious.

Brows furrowing, I couldn’t ignore how the thought of meeting any more of them made me wish I could get swallowed up by the floor. It had been hard enough dealing with the impromptu ceremony, but for whatever reason, he decided to drive the nail in a little further.

“No,” I muttered, voice loud enough for him to hear. “Go alone.”

There was a brief pause before Ben spoke up again. “Don’t be difficult. They’d like to meet my new wife.”

Even if his voice didn’t make any indication of it, I couldn’t help but picture his face with a big smirk on it as he said those words. It seemed fitting, anyway.

The way he tried to demand to do anything made my blood boil. “I’ll be as difficult as I want. I’m not going.”

I just barely caught the sound of his sigh while that silence returned for a beat.

“I’m not going to argue about this with you, and it isn’t negotiable,” Ben replied, sounding more annoyed this time. “I don’t want to hear it. Just get up and get ready. You have an hour.”

While I had never been the angriest person, the rage moved through me was akin to what a teenager felt whenever their parents nagged them. Except he was my husband by law according to the papers we signed, and as he said, he wouldn’t accept anything but cooperation.

I wished I could slap him then, but it was no use. None of it was.

Letting go of an annoyed breath as I tried to wrangle with that sheer anger, I pushed myself out of bed and made my way over to the bathroom.

While I cleaned myself up and got ready, I couldn’t help but dwell on the whole ordeal. I just couldn’t understand what I did to deserve any of it. What karmic scale I had pushed in the wrong direction to warrant being trapped with someone like Ben.

Sure, he was attractive and charming, but he was also horrible and cruel for ever forcing me into marrying him. I just couldn’t come to terms with it.

Eventually, I got dressed into something more suitable for going to a restaurant, silently grumbling to myself as I sifted through the new clothes.

And while I wanted to ignore Ben and just stay in that bedroom, I didn’t want to deal with him otherwise. I didn’t want to find myself hauled down the stairs and forced to the restaurant all because I refused.

Instead, I preferred to keep my dignity intact, regardless of how furious I was.

Reaching the main floor, Ben faced me as he adjusted the cuffs on his navy blue button-down that he tucked into his black trousers. His hair was neatly slicked back in a way that somehow accentuated his facial features more, and his face was freshly shaven.

Almost imperceptibly, his brows went up by a mere fraction when he looked at me, and as angry as I was, it still managed to catch my attention.

His gaze had seemed contemplative at first, but as his eyes did a full scan of me, a barely-there grin lingered on his face.

“Ready?”

With a begrudging sigh, I nodded.

Sealing my fate for the evening, Ben remained close to me as we went out to the car, as if worried I might try to bolt. Unfortunately for me, it was unlikely that I’d magically become a track star and somehow manage to outrun him or his men.

Maintaining that disdain as I went with him, I watched blankly as he popped the car door open for me, and I slid inside without saying a word. Not even a ‘thanks.’

It was unlike me. I usually took manners very seriously, but it seemed he was bringing out the worst in me. I didn’t want to show gratitude to a man who had very little regard for me.

The door closed behind me and Ben made his way to the opposite side. Letting out a breath of thinly veiled irritation, he dropped into his seat.

Soon enough, we were on the road, and the silence was deafening.

Neither of us were happy, that much was clear.

While I was glad to see he wasn’t gloating, it was almost unnerving to witness him being so quiet. It seemed very unlike him—at least, that was what I assumed after what little time I had been around him.

It made me question if he regretted his decision to marry us in the first place. If that was the case, then there was a chance I might be able to secure a ticket out and back into my old life. That small flicker of hope grew ever so slightly.

From the passenger seat, I snuck the occasional glance at him from the corner of my eye as he drove. He was not only quiet but also somewhat tense. His jaw remained firmly locked, clenching seemingly subconsciously.

As much as I despised him and wanted to continue doing so, it was hard for me to ignore how his arms flexed with his sleeves rolled up every time he turned the steering wheel or the way those icy blue eyes occasionally flickered to his mirrors. Not to mention how his cologne filled the car, smelling like nothing short of luxury.

All of it tied together made something stir within me, and it took everything in my power to ignore that feeling.

He was a brutal monster, even if everything about him seemed so appealing.

I couldn’t lose focus. I had to resist him to keep him from feeling any kind of satisfaction.

Even if I also hated the idea of meeting his family, stepping out of the car once we reached the restaurant gave me the reprieve I needed from being forced to observe and smell those temptations about him.

We went in, and as we walked into the entrance while Ben looked around for his family’s table, his palm just barely brushed against the small of my back.

While the gesture felt somewhat tender, which surprised me, I had the feeling it was merely out of habit, especially as he used that leverage to guide me in the right direction.

Even so, the warmth of his skin sent a shiver up my spine, and I forced myself to blink it back. While it certainly startled me, I didn’t want it to affect me beyond that.

My heart was in my throat as we approached the table large enough to house us and his siblings, making me realize just how many there were.

Despite their faint smiles as we approached, especially from the woman who looked just like a feminine version of them, I didn’t let myself forget who and what they were. A notorious crime family that practically ran the city.

“If it isn’t the newlyweds,” one of them, with a somewhat more youthful look, said smugly as he leaned back in his chair. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Gemma.”

I managed a forced smile, feeling front and center with all their eyes on me at once.

Ben sighed, ignoring his brother’s shit-eating grin. “This is Lukyan,” he began, pointing to each of them. “Kir, Lara, Ari, as you already met, and his wife, Vivian. Everyone, be nice to Gemma.”

It was a lot to take in, but out of habit, I found myself listening closely and trying to commit their names to memory. Even if I didn’t really want to be there, I didn’t want to be a jerk, either.

“Oh, please,” Lara chided as she sipped her wine while the two of us sat down at the table. “We all know you’re the instigator here, Ben.”

Lukyan snickered. “The tables have turned now, though.”

I caught Ben’s sigh as he seemed to try and compose himself. His usual cockiness waned ever since we reached the table.

Kir smirked. “It must be the newlywed jitters getting to him.”

“Please ignore them,” Ari said as he handed me a menu with the faintest smile of encouragement. “They don’t know how to be civilized at times. But they mean well.”

I pulled a smile for him and nodded, accepting the menu with a quiet acknowledgment.

“Mean well?” Lukyan chided, lifting a brow. “Nah. I just want to push Ben’s buttons tonight. After always pushing his unwanted work onto me, it’s time for some well-deserved payback.”

Ben scoffed and shook his head. “Watch it. There will be more where that came from.”

The others chuckled, proving to me that this was nothing out of the ordinary for them.

While their banter seemed natural, and their teasing was mostly light-hearted, I sat through it and tried to understand how I even got there. How I managed to find myself intertwined with the Levovs.

They were fairly welcoming, yet it was difficult for me to pretend like it was a normal situation. I felt like an imposter, and I had no business being with them.

But as Ben remained next to me, I caught his glances every once in a while, almost like he was checking in on me. Of course, I tried to block him out, not wanting to make it seem like that gesture was the least bit touching.

As we placed our orders and waited for the food to arrive, I had the chance to look around the restaurant and noticed just how nice the place was. From the chic candle centerpieces to the lush white tablecloths, and the romantic atmosphere in general, it was clearly not a place that people like me typically visited.

With my paycheck alone, I’d be eating the table scraps left behind by the other patrons.

I did not doubt that the Levovs usually frequented expensive places like this one, and while it was certainly nice, I felt so disconnected from my norm. I wasn’t like them, and it was getting increasingly difficult to ignore.