Chapter 21 - Gemma

The usual clacking of keys filled the kitchen as I worked away at the island countertop, busy wrapping up a piece due by the end of the day. My focus had been razor-sharp for most of it, but as the afternoon rolled around, I found myself slipping somewhat.

I wrapped up a paragraph and yawned before wiping at my eyes.

Upon opening them again, I looked over at the clear bowl on the counter, spotting the red beta fish as it swam. Its tail fins swished through the water beautifully, the light catching on its small, iridescent scales.

Watching it move happily through the water, looking much better than it had on the boardwalk, I smiled. The little guy was a reminder of our night together, and my heart warmed at the thought alone.

It had been more than nice, and I found myself reflecting on that time often. There were no expectations or plans to carry out—instead, we had a spontaneous night and managed to grow closer because of it.

Regardless of how tumultuous the start of our marriage and relationship had been, with a bit of time and work, it was beginning to feel like something genuine.

That familiar incoming mail sound from my laptop made me perk up, tearing my attention away from the fishbowl.

Glancing over, I clicked on the icon and pulled up a new email from Norman.

At first, I wondered if he had another last-minute assignment for me, or if he needed to change some publication dates around, but those assumptions were immediately wiped from the slate as I read it.

My throat went dry as my eyes raked over the email, heart breaking in my chest as the reality set in like a slap to the face.

“What?” I whispered to myself, reading the email again and again.

They were letting me go. Norman apologized for the development, but he didn’t feel that I could do an adequate job from home. They wanted everyone to be in the office as it has always been, and my inflexibility was something they couldn’t keep supporting.

It was all over.

All of my hard work. My dreams, my time, my money, and all of my effort to go above and beyond every time. Even though I wasn’t a salaried employee, I acted like I was. I worked my ass off for that internship, and yet it was all gone, just like that.

Blinking back at the screen, unable to escape that haunting email, it didn’t take long for the emotion to burn in my nose and eyes. For the damning reality to sink into my skin and ache.

It was almost impossible to fully process, but in that moment, it felt as if everything came undone around me. Regardless of how hard I tried to make it work, and how sure Ben had been about the plan working, it was already done, and there was nothing I could do about it.

I could crawl back on my hands and knees begging Norman for my position back, but I knew what he was like. He was a no-nonsense man, and when he made up his mind, that was the end of it.

Even if I worked like my life depended on it there, he had already decided I wasn’t worth the time or effort. There would be no point, and I would only be wasting my breath.

To me, that internship was everything. It was the very reason I was in New York in the first place and the reason to keep going despite it all. I lived and breathed that position because it was the embodiment of my hopes and dreams. It was my guiding light.

But to them, I was just an intern. It was a position that needed to be filled, and sooner rather than later, they would fill it again with someone new and flexible. They would give someone else the chance to live out their dreams without sparing me a second glance.

From my seat in the kitchen, my hands began to shake as that wave of misery crashed over me, and I couldn’t even try to stop it. Hot tears streamed down my face as a choked sob wracked my chest. With my face in my hands, I cried into the sleeves of my sweater to the point of pain.

As much as my face and body hurt, it didn’t even compare to the brutal ache of knowing I lost out on that opportunity. Knowing that the stability and personal attachments I had from that office wouldn’t be mine to access anymore stung more than I ever could’ve guessed.

Even as those words continued to move through my mind, I couldn’t stomach it. I didn’t understand.

Despite working from home, I was staying on top of things. I was putting in my best work, but apparently, it wasn’t enough.

I asked for an accommodation that I shouldn’t have, and while it didn’t seem like much, it changed everything.

As I cried and cried, unable to move or respond to Norman’s email, I couldn’t help but feel like my dreams were impossibly far away. Like they were completely out of reach by now, and it would be pitiful if I even tried.

It was the one thing I wanted, and while things at home had been much better than before, it still made me feel like I lost it all.

Aching all over with red eyes and puffy cheeks, I eventually pulled myself off the stool and retreated to the living room. I collapsed onto the couch and curled my body in the slightest attempt of self-soothing as my tears continued to fall.

I didn’t know how long I had been there crying, and frankly, I didn’t care. I was stuck in an endless loop of despair, and I had no idea how I could possibly get myself out of it.

Eventually, soft footfalls entered the space, and I realized I never heard the front door open at all. But it didn’t take me long to recognize who they belonged to.

Ben rounded the corner and entered the room, looking around for me as he normally did. He always sought me out first, both to make sure I was alright and to inform me that he was home.

But the typical smile he had for me was replaced with a discontented frown. He looked tense and worn out, but the moment he saw me there on the couch, concern washed over his features.

“Gemma?” he asked, approaching me with urgent steps. He took up the space beside me as I leaned into the backrest. His words were somewhat sharp with a demanding tone, but I knew it wasn’t aimed at me. “What has upset my wife?”

Pulling in a shaken breath, only able to imagine how ridiculous and broken I looked like that, I swallowed harshly to clear the tears from my throat.

“They…they let me go…”

With his brows furrowed, Ben put a gentle hand against my arm and studied me closely. “Who did?”

“Work…” I mumbled, noticing how unlike me my voice sounded. “I found out a bit ago.”

Through my bleary gaze, I could see as his thoughts raced behind his eyes, and he settled on a look of empathy.

“What happened?”

His words were so gentle and caring that I felt like crying all over again, but I did my best to keep my composure long enough to get the words out.

“Norman said that working remotely wasn’t enough…that I was being inflexible with the arrangement,” I managed to say as I wiped at my eyes again. “I don’t have my internship, anyway.”

Ben’s gaze raked over me while I spoke, fluctuating between those different emotions. Anger flickered briefly in his eyes before remorse and guilt took over. He stayed that way for a moment before he reached for me.

His palms glided over my shoulders until he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to his chest. He didn’t say anything but offered himself as an anchor while I tried to navigate the aching in my heart.

I moved against him willingly, in need of that comfort and warmth more than I initially thought. The last of my defenses dropped as my arms snaked around his waist, and I pressed my cheek against his chest.

While I didn’t have tears left at that point, the burning I felt made me wish I still did. Instead, I let out slow, shaky breaths and tried to collect myself again while he surrounded me.

Even if he wasn’t saying anything, I could tell that Ben was thinking to himself. Mulling over what this meant for me.

He knew my internship was everything to me, and he was well aware of how it would affect me if I were to lose out on it. As far as I could tell, he had been under the impression that the remote compromise wouldn’t be an issue. He thought it would both keep me safe from the Ivanovs and allow me to keep my position.

But he was wrong. And I was wrong for believing it, too. For going along with it.

Regardless of how torn up I was over the news, I couldn’t bring myself to be mad at Ben. Given how tightly he held me, and how he hadn't yet found the words to express what he was thinking, he felt just as blindsided.

I knew he meant well, and I knew he didn’t want me to be without my passion.

Still, we sat like that for a while as I soaked up his quiet affection.

Eventually, Ben let go of a decided breath and murmured against my head, “Fuck the paper.”

While that was indeed something I was also thinking at that moment, I couldn’t manage a response. Instead, I took it as a sign to brush Norman and the company as a whole off for doing me wrong.

But when I didn’t say anything, Ben continued his thought process.

“Forget them. Forget all about that place for working you to the bone and turning you away far too easily,” he said, tone full of resolve. “Start a new publication.”

As his words settled in, disbelief crept over me. My brows furrowed as I pulled back enough to look up at him. “What?”

As the idea unraveled in his mind, Ben seemed more convinced by it. “Yeah, that sounds like the exact thing you need. Start your own paper or magazine and show them every reason why they should’ve kept you on their team.”

I blinked up at him, still startled and not completely sold on the idea. “That’s…easier said than done. I don’t have any resources.”

Ben managed a small smirk at that as he brought a hand up to cradle my face. “But you do. It’ll be funded by Levov money, of course. You can take the reins and run the show, and I’ll handle the finances like I already do for my family. Whatever you need or want, you can have it.”

“But…wouldn’t that put your family out?” I questioned, caught between the allure of that idea and being unable to conceptualize the thought. “I don’t want you pouring money into it for nothing.”

He chuckled. “So long as everything was done right from the start, it would generate enough revenue to be plenty worth it. We’re always coming up with new enterprises, and media is a branch we have yet to explore.”

I was completely stunned.

It would take an incredible amount of planning and foresight, and I had many things to consider, but as he allowed me to sit with that idea, I couldn’t deny how tempting it was.

Not to mention, it would be a huge sacrifice for both of us. Such a big undertaking would require a lot of time and effort and take away from the work Ben already had on his plate. I was doubtful about being able to pull off something like owning a publication, but from the pure sincerity and unwavering faith in his eyes, I knew Ben was completely serious.

“Really?” I asked, desperate to know if it was a real, tangible plan, or an afterthought destined to be forgotten by morning.

Ben smiled at me and nodded. “Really. If journalism is your passion and something you want to spend the rest of your life doing, then why should you wait for someone else to decide if you’re worthy of having that position?”

My eyes softened as I looked up at him, aware of how his words acted like a balm to my previously breaking heart. To my surprise, his hope and faith were more effective than I could’ve guessed.

“You’re a Levov, Gemma. You don’t need to wait around,” he reassured me as he carefully moved a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “If you want something, you take it.”

The longer I held his gaze, the more I could feel myself easing into the idea. My heart swelled, and the suggestion, along with his blessing to move forward with the plan, was more than I could ask for.

Unable to hold back, I pushed forward into his embrace again, enveloping him with my arms tightly. I wanted him to feel every ounce of gratitude I had within me, put at ease by the possibilities lingering ahead of us.

“Thank you, Ben,” I murmured as he encircled me completely, his chin resting against the top of my head. I could feel the vague sensation of his lips pulling into a smile.

Even if I had lost out on one of my biggest dreams, I had no idea that an even brighter horizon was ahead.

He found a way to mend that ache, all while considering just how important it was to me.

And thanks to Ben, I was beginning to feel at home.