Chapter 5

Lana

My legs still feel like they”re made of something softer than flesh, every muscle singing from the encounter with Grigori. It”s a dangerous game we play, toeing the line between professional and personal, but damn if it doesn”t make me feel alive.

Stepping out of the car, I slip my sunglasses on, a barrier between me and the world. The cool facade doesn”t quite reach the turmoil inside me, but it”s enough to get me through the door and into the hustle of our operation.

Julia”s there, as always, the calm in the eye of my storm. ”You”ve got a new engagement,” I tell her, my voice steady despite the chaos of emotions just under the surface. ”I need you to make sure everything”s set. We need to present the syndicate in the best light, and I can”t have any slip-ups.”

She nods, pencil flying over her planner. ”Got it. What about security arrangements?”

I wave a dismissive hand, still riding the high from moments ago with Grigori. ”I”ll handle that myself. I want to review all the details before we finalize anything.”

Julia raises an eyebrow at my decisiveness, but she knows better than to question it. She scribbles down a few more notes before looking back up at me, ready for her next directive.

”And,” Julia adds, her voice dropping a notch, ”do you need me to arrange a doctor”s appointment?”

The mention of a doctor, of the choice I”m faced with, brings a pang of grief so sharp it nearly doubles me over. My mother flashes through my mind, her strength, her love, her unwavering presence in a life that offered little in the way of stability. She managed to be a beacon of light in the darkness of our world, showing me that even in the midst of chaos, it”s possible to love, to nurture.

I hesitate, the weight of my decision pressing down on me. To bring a child into this life, our life, is no small thing. But then, thinking of my mother, of the love she gave freely despite the cost, my decision solidifies.

”I”m going to keep the baby,” I say, my voice stronger than I feel. It”s a declaration, a promise to myself, to the tiny life I”m now responsible for. ”And yes, arrange the appointment. It”s time I start taking care of... our future.”

Julia meets my gaze, her eyes shining with an emotion I can”t quite name. Relief, maybe, or just the shared understanding of two women standing on the precipice of something life-changing. ”I”ll take care of it, Lana. You have my word.”

As she turns to make the arrangements, I allow myself a moment to breathe, to feel the full weight of my choice. It”s a path fraught with danger and uncertainty, but for the first time, I”m not looking at it through the lens of the syndicate, of our criminal empire. I”m looking at it as a mother, and that changes everything.

The road ahead is unclear, but I know one thing for sure: I”ll protect this child with every fiber of my being, just as my mother did for me. And with people like Julia, Grigori, Roman and even Luca by my side, I”m not as alone as I thought.

For now, that”s enough.

Julia”s nod is measured, careful, a silent testament to the gravity of the situation. ”Do you want me to share this with Luca?” she asks, her voice neutral, giving nothing away. ”He”s instrumental in... a lot of what we do.”

The mention of Luca, of breaking the news to him and, by extension, the other two men who orbit the core of my life — and potentially the life growing inside me — sends a jolt of apprehension through me. It”s one thing to make a decision in the solitude of my own mind, quite another to face the reality of its implications. These men, Grigori, Roman, and Luca, they”re not just my highest ranked lieutenants; they”re the potential fathers. And that adds a layer of complexity I”m not sure I”m ready to deal with.

I wince, the weight of the task ahead momentarily bowing my shoulders. ”I”ll talk to him myself.”

Julia gives me a look that”s all too knowing, a silent acknowledgment of the delicate dance ahead. She nods, and there”s a tightness around her eyes that tells me she understands what I”m not saying. The implications of bringing a child into our world are vast and treacherous, and yet it”s a risk I”m willing to take, for reasons that feel as instinctual as they are unfathomable.

I straighten my back, pushing aside the fear that gnaws at me with a ferocity that could rival any of our enemies.

Taking a deep breath, I turn to face the looming challenge ahead. I make my way through the bustling headquarters, the energy of our operation thrumming around me. As I approach Luca”s office, my steps falter slightly, nerves fluttering in my stomach like a caged bird desperate for release.

With a steadying breath, I knock on the heavy oak door. The sound echoes in the room, followed by a deep voice granting entry. Stepping inside, I find Luca at his desk, his gaze sharp and assessing as it lands on me.

”What can I do for you, Lana?” His voice is smooth yet edged with a hint of wariness. Luca was always the most perceptive of us, able to sense the slightest shift in the tides of our world.

I clear my throat, suddenly feeling the weight of my decision bearing down on me like an oppressive force. ”We need to talk,” I begin, each word carefully chosen. ”About something important.”