Chapter 9 - Ari

The two of us went back and forth like that for some time, going in an endless circle.

By the time we both stood there, catching our breath in the kitchen with anger flaring in our eyes, we were too worn out to keep going.

At last, the volume came down again, and the room was nearly silent as neither of us could think of what to do next, or how to approach the tumultuous ground between us.

I knew we were at a complete impasse.

No matter how I tried to make the transition easier for her, it didn't seem to be working. She still thought I was the worst person in the world, and I had no idea if I could ever change her mind about that.

That cynical thought left a bitter taste in my mouth as I turned away from her and leaned against the counter with my arms crossed.

Tired of fighting and at a loss of how to make things better, I took a breath and shook my head absently.

Vivian was right. She didn't know me. I didn't make much of an effort to level with her or to help her understand me better, and surely that had only made matters worse.

But that needed to change.

Bringing my voice down to a soft volume, I began, "I've been taking care of my siblings since I was a kid myself. The first time I changed Kir's diaper when my mom was too sick during her pregnancy with Lara to take proper care of him was when I realized how fragile small children really are."

My words seemed to catch Vivian by surprise as she glanced over at me, looking confused yet vaguely interested in what I had to say.

When she didn't speak up, I continued, "We grew up in Russia alongside our cousins. We were a normal family, and all of his children were the apple of Dad's eye. He doted on Mom, and everything was great until after she gave birth to Kir. I guess the delivery was hard, and she didn't heal long enough before getting pregnant with Lara. She passed during the delivery, and while we gained a sister, we lost our mom. Since Dad was so focused on the family business, he left me to parent them all before I was even old enough to drive or go to high school."

I watched as Vivian's head tipped slightly, and her shoulders slumped empathetically.

"I'm sorry for your loss," she murmured, letting me hear the slight remorse in her voice.

"It was tough in the beginning, especially with having two under two. But I had no choice. I gave up my childhood to take care of them, and while I didn't go to school, I made sure the rest did. I stayed back while Benedikt experienced the high school career I should've had, and once they were old enough, I dedicated my time to continuing the family business," I explained, feeling the weight of those memories all over again.

A short moment of silence lingered between us before Vivian mumbled, "What about your dad? Why didn't he take over so you could have a normal childhood?"

I exhaled. It was a whole other beast to open up that trauma involving Dad. "He had been focused on his work alongside my uncles, but after Mom died, he became a shell of himself. He didn't dote on anyone anymore, and he drowned himself in work, becoming more reckless with everything he did. Eventually, he found more comfort in substances than his own children, and we lost him, too. My uncle, Yaro's dad, made sure we had what we needed to keep us all together and avoid any kind of children's aid, but he had his litter to deal with."

"It sounds like your family has always been close," she commented, offering me the slightest show of interest.

"We were as kids, since our fathers were busy running Russia together. You would've thought our cousins were all siblings, but as we got older and as our branches left the country, my unit stayed behind the longest," I continued, feeling strangely comforted by the idea of sharing my story. "When Andrei and the others left Russia, I made sure to stay back to maintain the family legacy. I never stopped leading, and I never stopped looking out for my family. Even if they're all grown up and managing lives of their own, that instinct to protect them never left. I'd do anything for them. I was prepared to bring the entire city down when my cousin Anastasia was taken by one of our enemies, and Kir suffered an injury because of it. Luckily, everyone's safe and doing better now."

Vivian's expression softened as she leaned against the countertop opposite me, seemingly understanding more of where I was coming from. "That sounds like a lot of pressure. How did you manage all of that as a teenager?"

I shrugged. "I had no choice. I wasn't willing to see my siblings suffer, and I certainly wasn't going to let any government body take them away. I did what I had to just for them to succeed, and even if I had to sacrifice so much of myself and my time, I wouldn't change that for anything. Dad let us down, but I wasn't prepared to do the same thing to them."

As we talked, I found myself glad neither of us were yelling anymore, and the conversation felt genuine.

It seemed I just needed to be vulnerable to get her to open up more.

I could tell she was curious, and I didn't mind answering her questions. At the very least, we were talking, and it still felt like progress.

"Obviously, you did a decent job at raising them," Vivian murmured, surprising me with the compliment. "Everyone got along so well. It was…nice to see, for once."

Taking that as a hint of how her childhood had been with her family, it warmed me to know my siblings left an impression on her.

"They didn't used to be as polite as children, but at least they're better behaved now," I said with a chuckle. "I was afraid they might be too much, but I'm glad you were able to put up with them."

A small smile settled on her lips then. "They weren't so bad. I always wanted to be able to banter with my siblings like that, but it just didn't happen."

As curious as I was about her family and her upbringing, I didn't want to ask anything she wasn't willing to say. I had done enough in that department, and it always seemed like a sensitive subject to her. I didn't need to make that obvious pain even worse.

"It's a good thing I have more than enough family to share. They liked you, and believe it or not, that's important to me," I added, surprised by even my own words. "While their opinions aren't the end all, be all for me, I still care about what they think."

I didn't miss the slight color that moved through Vivian's cheeks then, and she smiled faintly with a nod. "I liked them, too."

Warmth coursed through me at her admission, and as I glanced over at her, it was hard to fight my attraction. Even if she looked just as tired as I felt, there was something so simple about her beauty that pulled me in.

Something in me wanted to reach out and caress her face. I wanted to feel her skin beneath mine and to know what it would be like to receive her affection. But it was too soon still.

I didn't want to pressure her into anything, especially not when we finally seemed to find common ground.

Instead, I pushed up from my place against the counter and glanced at her. "If it counts for anything, I'm sorry about how all this started. It was never my plan to ruin your life."

Vivian blinked back at me, at a loss of words as she stood in place, unable to speak.

Interestingly, she seemed to lower her defenses somewhat as we spoke, and the slight lust in her eyes didn't fly under my radar.

Before she could say anything, I turned and said over my shoulder, "Goodnight, Vivian."

She was still stunned, frozen, but as I left the kitchen and headed to my bedroom, I couldn't fight my curiosity about that look in her eyes.