Chapter 25 - Arina

The days drag by, and my nausea is a continued reminder that I am carrying Igor's child, which reminds me of Igor, which reminds me of how he lied to me and broke my heart.

I promised Kervyn I'd be strong, but I'm getting tired of hiding my miserableness from the family. I feel so guilty because they're all trying to make it up to me that I grew up without them.

Today, we're going to the art gallery and then out for lunch with all the sisters. I want to be excited because this is all I've ever dreamed about—a family to call my own. But now that I'm pregnant, I don't know what to do. Do I tell them? What will they think of me carrying their enemy's child? What do I do when Igor finds out about the child? Will Kervyn be able to protect me from Igor then? Is this going to start a war?

These thoughts swirl around my head again and again, and the more I think about it, the more anxious I become. I feel like an emotional wreck.

I sit beside Penny, my spot at the table now, and wait for the servants to bring out breakfast.

Penny smiles at me. "Asher will be here after breakfast to pick us up."

"Okay, I'm excited to see her new exhibit."

"So am I," she says. "She hasn't given away any secrets."

I smile as a bowl of oats is placed in front of me. I instantly think of Igor; it's his favorite breakfast.

"Are you okay?" Penny asks. "You've gone a bit pale."

"Can't seem to shake this bug," I lie.

"I think we should call a doctor," Kervyn says, looking up from his newspaper. "You've been sick since before you came to us."

"I think it's the stress with everything that's gone on," I say quickly. "I'm sure it'll pass."

Kervyn raises an eyebrow but returns to his newspaper, and Penny begins to eat.

I spoon butter and sugar into my oats and mix them in before I start to eat. The oats taste different here than at Igor's house. They are still tasty but a little more salty. I eat in silence, letting my thoughts wander as I eat.

"We better get ready," Penny says, standing up.

I startle slightly and nod. "Yes, of course. Let me go get my bag."

I get up and hurry upstairs to my room. I get my handbag and come back downstairs to find Penny waiting for me in the entrance hall.

"Once we're done at the exhibit, we'll go shopping and grab some lunch at Zeek's."

"Is that the spot you always go to for lunch?" I ask. "I think you mentioned it."

"It's become a bit of a family tradition that the girls have lunch there," Penny says as she leads me out.

Asher pulls up in her pink Mustang and waves to us. "Come on, girls, let's go conquer the world."

Penny climbs into the front while I climb into the back. Asher pulls out, and my stomach tightens as she swerves into traffic and speeds off.

"Stop driving like a hooligan." I'm glad Penny says it before I do.

"Aw, we're fine," Asher says. "Danil's been taking me to advanced driving courses."

I swallow, and Asher sees my face in the rearview mirror. "Don't worry, I passed all of them the first time."

I nod. "Okay."

Penny and Asher talk about the kids as we drive, and I sit back and try to keep breakfast down with all the swerving Asher does.

I can't fault my family for trying to make me feel included. Every day, someone comes over to take me to do something, and I have had fun. I just wish I could go home to the father of my child, knowing I could trust him and be in his arms when we go to sleep at night.

I can't help but wonder what Igor is doing now that I'm not there. I wonder if he's upset or if he's moved on. He hasn't contacted me about a divorce, and I've expertly avoided the topic with everyone in the family.

Asher pulls into a parking lot, and we exit the vehicle.

"Zeek's isn't far from here, so we can walk," Asher says. "We'll go shopping, walk to Zeek's, have lunch with Hannah and Elena, and walk back."

"Get our steps in," Penny says, checking her smartwatch.

I smile softly. She really is the cutest person alive. I'd hate to mess with her, though. She seems like a mama bear.

We walk into the gallery, and I look around. There are some exquisite pieces up. I'm not trained to appraise art or anything like that, but I have a good eye for paintings for houses when decorating. Before I got my real estate license, I studied home decor.

Asher ushers us into the room next door. "These are my pieces."

The room is massive, and the pieces are even more so. It is space-themed, and there are a lot of star-studded galaxies, swirls of rings around planets, and planets themselves in bright, unnatural colors.

"This is gorgeous," I breathe. "Wow, Asher, you're really talented."

We go to each painting, and Asher beams at us. "I'm so glad you like them. We're going to auction three off for charity, and we're selling the rest."

"That's sweet of you," I comment. "Does the gallery do lots of charity work?"

Asher looks at Penny, who looks at me. "We know what our husbands do isn't exactly legal." Her voice is soft. "And we know people can get hurt."

I look between them. "So, you do charity to balance that out?"

Asher and Penny both nod. "All four of us do. Asher, myself, Hannah, and Elena. We love our husbands but don't have to love what they do."

I nod. "I'd never thought about it. I mean, I know Igor does some shady dealings on the side, but I never thought about it hurting anyone."

They stare at me.

I catch myself and shake my head. "But it doesn't matter."

"Arina…" Asher says quietly.

"I'd rather not talk about it," I say with a smile. "Weren't we going shopping?"

Penny looks at Asher, then smiles at me. "Of course, let's get going. I'm starving for some focaccia from Zeek's. Garlic and cheese."

We head out and walk down the road, now discussing food. We continue to talk about different restaurants we've tried as we try on clothes. When I'm changing behind the curtain, I look at my stomach which is starting to protrude a little. Or is it my imagination? It's too early for that. Shit. I have to tell someone before I really do start showing.

Once we've paid for our clothes, we carry our parcels the three blocks to Zeek's, where Hannah and Elena have already secured a private table for us.

We sit down, and Elena turns to me. "Hannah was just talking about having more children. I think she's mad, dealing with the terrible twins already."

"Anyone of us can have twins," Penny says. "It runs in the Milov blood."

I inwardly panic. Twins! What if I have twins?

"From Mama Milov's side," Hannah corrects her, and I let out the breath I'm holding.

"I don't think I could handle it if I had twins," I say.

"I thought so, too," Hannah smiles. "But as terrible as those two toddlers can be, they're absolutely adorable, like their father. I wouldn't mind two girls running around so I can dress them up in cute outfits every day."

I haven't considered that. Would I prefer a boy or a girl? Would I make a fit mother? How am I going to do this? I feel the anxiety building up inside me as the waitress comes over to take the drinks order.

"Does everyone want wine?" Penny asks, looking around.

"I'll just have sparkling water," I say; my mouth feels dry. "I need the loo. Where is it?"

Penny points to the back of the restaurant. "Right at the back past the kitchen. Can't miss it."

"Thanks," I say, standing up. "I'll be right back."

I head through the restaurant, past the kitchen, and walk into the bathroom. I check that no one else is inside before I stand in front of the mirror and run the cold water over my face. I splash my face and then rinse out my mouth.

I lean over the basin and breathe deeply. Four in, hold for two, seven out. That's what they used to make me do in school when I had panic attacks about going home: No, we can't get you out of your situation. No, we can't get you a better family.

No.

Four in, hold for two, seven out.

It calmed the anxiety, and I was glad it worked. But I've never known calming down to fix any situation I've been in. I doubt it will help now.

There is no reason to be calm.

There is every reason to panic.

I splash my face again.

Four in, hold for two, seven out. In through the nose, out through the mouth.

I walk out of the bathroom, and as I'm about to walk past the kitchen, someone steps in front of me. I stop quickly. "Sorry…"

I look up at the man, and I frown. "Matvey? What are you doing here?" I hiss. I take his arm and pull him to the side. "You'll be a dead man if you're seen harassing me."

"I can't take it anymore," he pleads, though there's that angry tone behind his voice. "Igor is absolutely miserable. He is grumpy. He is ruining business deals. All he does every day is get drunk thinking about you. And since he won't do anything out of respect for you, I've come to bring you home to him. Because someone has to."

I fight back tears. Igor hasn't come for me because he respects me. He's trying to leave me alone and be selfless, and it's tearing him apart. It's tearing me apart.

"Matvey, if my brothers find out you're here, they're going to throw a fit. They don't want you guys to have anything to do with me," I whisper.

"What do you want?" Matvey asks. "Do you really hate Igor?"

"Matvey," I reach for his face. "Igor lied to me. So did you, in fact." I retract my hand. "You knew my brothers didn't know about me."

"I was the one who told them," Matvey admits. "Come on, Arina. Igor and you were made to be together. It's in the stars or fate or whatever bullshit you wanna believe."

I smile. My typical brother-in-law and his way with words. I look into his eyes, and I sigh. "It isn't that easy. There are complications."

"What complications?" he asks. "Tell me, we can work through them together. Your brothers won't throw you away if you're honest with them, of that, I'm sure."

I bite my lip.

Won't they?

If I willingly want to sleep with their lifelong enemy.

"Matvey…" I start to say.

"Didn't we tell you lot to leave our sister alone?" a voice snarls.

I look up as Luka approaches us.

"Luka…" I say. "He was just leaving."

Matvey turns and starts walking out of the restaurant, but Danil steps in front of him. "Oh, I think not. I think he needs a little lesson about what leaving alone entails."

"Danil… Luka… We're in public," my voice is shaky.

Kervyn and Arseny walk into the restaurant at the same time, and I feel a hand on my arm. It's Penny. "Come with me," she says, pulling me back toward the bathroom. Hannah, Elena, and Asher also usher me away.

"You don't have to see this part," Elena says. "The boys will take care of it."

"No, he's in danger. They're going to hurt him," I say. "You can't just be okay with that."

Penny holds onto my arm. "Arina, it's better this way. Otherwise, they will never stop coming after you."