CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE Tate

After a fretful night of sleep, I was fifteen minutes late to my office. My alarm came far too early. My lack of desire to face Alec added to my need to stay in bed and avoid an upcoming heart-to-heart talk I had to have with him.

I tossed and turned most of the night, thinking about Luke and how I couldn't remember having a better date in my life. Other than referring to my dropping by the furniture store as a date only once that evening, I felt confident Luke considered it one as well. He understood that dating and courting were basically the same things.

For the first time when around him, we seemed to reach a level of comfort with each other that hadn't existed the first few times. It was easy to see that he was still unsure of himself, but his insecurities didn't hamper his curiosity and pure joy when we were together.

My physical attraction to Luke was completely off the charts. I couldn't remember a time when I'd seen a man and felt like I physically desired him so much. Even though I was the older of the two of us, Luke possessed a raw power that belied his youth, muting the age gap in my mind.

At first, I assumed my observation was purely based on his physical structure. The boy was stacked. I struggled to imagine what he'd looked like as a child because he was so much of a man at such a young age. But his size wasn't the only indicator of his raw power. The way he carried himself, and the effortless way he maneuvered his muscle-bound body, was incredible to watch.

Luke had definitely grown into his physical body, and even with a shyness that could easily be confused with softness, I could see a man who had confidence in his strength. And to be honest, I desired to witness that power as his sexual partner.

My libido had been desperately missing for so long that I was unsure what Luke possessed that I so wanted. Was it his buzz-cut hair, the square jaw, the steely stare he deployed, or simply his manly stature? Luke had to be four or five inches over six feet, and I'd bet he was two hundred pounds or better, even though his waist was trim and flat. All of it drove me crazy with longing.

Because of his height, and the ridiculous way he was muscled, he was an intimidating person to be near. With that said, I felt zero threat from him. In fact, I saw a man/boy whom I hoped desired taking the next step in his sexual evolution with me.

And that was when my misperception about someone with his size and strength, actually being a victim of sexual abuse, hit me. How could someone built like him be a victim to anyone? He either was in fear because of someone's status or power over him, or that person had to be even bigger than Luke himself, and that seemed unlikely.

My mother had encouraged treating him as an equal and taking great care when introducing him to intimacy. I'd taken her advice seriously and decided to meet him in his world. I hoped that if he had familiar surroundings while embarking on something new, he'd have a better chance of gaining confidence in me and discovering who we were to one another.

After scanning into the building for work, I put the prior evening at the back of my mind. The building's foyer was bright with sunshine, yet cool from an air conditioning system every building had to have in Central Oregon in the warming spring and scorching summers. The ride up in the elevator was spent with me keeping my wandering mind off Luke and on the day's work.

"Mr. Browning is in your office, sir," my latest assistant, Rory, another young, gay, and cute young man, said.

I glanced back at the elevator door, hoping it hadn't closed yet. I could still leave, couldn't I? "Thank you, Rory," I replied, inhaling deeply as I set my mind to having the dreaded discussion I knew needed to happen with Alec.

I stepped through the open door and found Alec sitting on my side of the desk in my chair. "Good morning, sleepyhead," he greeted, showing no intent to vacate my seat.

I placed my briefcase on my desk, remaining standing, thinking he'd take the hint. He didn't. Maybe today wouldn't be a good time to speak with him about not crossing the boss/employee fuck line. He'd already managed to irritate me.

I was agitated that he'd been in my office so early in the day. Especially when I had my mind so pleasantly fixated on Luke. Seeing Alec so disrespectfully sitting in my office before I was there bothered me. He was intrusive and abrasive—my two least favorite of people's traits.

"Gucci," he stated, eyeing my briefcase. "And… how much am I paying you?"

I laid my hand on my bag. "You pay me what I deserve," I reminded him.

While I wasn't involved in any cases yet at the firm, I'd only been in my position for a few weeks. I'd been analyzing some of the firm's other cases, making recommendations, and reviewing case law while I bided my time.

Alec didn't intimidate me, and I wondered if that bothered him. My education and early success in my career while in Seattle are why he'd recruited me, so I didn't concern myself with his attempts to make me feel pressured.

"I suppose I do pay you what you deserve," he agreed, tilting his head and smiling at me. I watched as he dragged his finger across my desk and landed on the notepad I'd left there the day before. "And who would Luke be?" he asked, landing his gaze directly on me.

I'd learned that Alec liked to see if he could sense a lie or any discomfort associated with hiding one. Good luck. I was a criminal defense lawyer, and, not to mention, I'd spent nearly a decade with a man like him. I wouldn't cave.

"Luke is no one you should be made aware of," I answered, keeping my eyes steady while he ran his little lie detector filter through his mind. I suddenly felt repulsion for my boss.

"There's a heart drawn around his name, Tate. I feel a smidge jealous seeing this," he admitted. "I thought you might reserve hearts for my name."

I'm not sure why I lied. Maybe he was pissing me off? Maybe he disgusted me at that moment. Maybe Tyler's warnings about Alec's past relationships came to mind. Whatever the maybe, he wasn't getting shit from me regarding the name I'd written on my notepad.

"A patient of my mother's," I offered. "Those are bullet points I wrote down while we spoke of him."

"Seems unprofessional for your mother to discuss one of her patients with you, Tate."

Fuck! He was correct."He's a dear friend from Seattle. I was concerned, and she overshared," I fibbed. "I'm hoping you'll forget what I just admitted."

I remained calm, still under his lie-detecting radar. Alec was a suspicious man, and this invasion of privacy was the first actual proof that I'd been right. Tyler had been dead-on, something I hadn't initially trusted because of his own behavior, but now, I believed him.

Alec jumped out of my chair. "Forgotten!" he exclaimed, clapping his hands in that annoying way he did when he assumed he'd won. "Now that it's out of the way, we'll have dinner tonight. Then we'll go to the new gay club on Central Avenue so that you can meet more of my friends."

My first instinct was to say, ‘Not a fucking chance', but I didn't do that. I was free that evening, so why not go with him, buy a little more time, and see how he was around his friends? Perhaps in a friend group, he'd see me the way he saw his other friends. I would be eating a hardy meal, of course, assuring that I wouldn't get drunk and have a repeat of my last evening out with Alec.

"I think I can do that," I agreed.

He seemed genuinely surprised, but quickly gathered his perfected expression. "Great. I'll pick you up at seven."

"Better yet," I replied. "I'll meet you at the restaurant and then follow you to the club in my car."

There was no way I'd be without my own transportation. That way I wouldn't have to depend on him taking me home or having to fight him off over coming up for a nightcap.

"That doesn't sound friendly, Tate. I was hoping we'd spend the weekend together at my place. Perhaps even grab brunch in Portland on Sunday."

"We are not that type of friends, Alec," I reminded him. "I'm more than happy to enjoy dinner and a drink with you and your friends, though. It will do me good to meet new people, possibly even form other friendships as well."

"You're still resisting my charms?"

"As hard as that is, Mr. Boss-man, it is the prudent course to take," I said. "Plus, I make a wonderful friend."

Alex crossed his arms; never a positive sign when having these sorts of discussions. I'd wanted to forego this talk today, but maybe he was going to force me to have it.

"You don't find me attractive?" he asked.

"Untrue. You are quite attractive, Alec. However, let's be totally upfront here," I began, unconsciously crossing my own arms despite knowing that was bad body language. "Dating my boss, the owner of my place of employment, is something that I have always drawn a line at. It simply will not work for me."

"But have you forgotten we've had sex?"

"Have you forgotten I was intoxicated?" I argued, keeping my cool when I noticed his fingers curling and then uncurling, while his arms remained crossed.

"You weren't that out of it, Tate," he said. "If memory serves me correctly, you were… how can I put this and keep my decorum intact? Shall we say a lively participant as you fucked my skull."

As stunned as I was by his remark, he was right. I wasn't that drunk, but my guard was down for sure because of the alcohol. If my resistance hadn't been compromised, I absolutely wouldn't have let him blow me.

"As talented as you are, that was a mistake that will not be repeated," I stated. "However, I'm happy to vouch for you should you need a recommendation," I jokingly added, hoping to bring the temperature down a notch.

Alec seemed less than appreciative of my sense of humor. I stepped around him, lifting my briefcase as I went, placing it behind my desk on the credenza. Alec stood and stepped aside as I pulled my chair out and sat down behind my desk. I reached for the notepad and flipped it over, the action not escaping his eyes as he studied me.

"I think I'll pass on that dinner invitation, after all," he said.

"Suit yourself," I replied, leaning back and stretching my arms over my head. "But thank you for asking. That's a shame because looked forward to meeting your friends."

Alec walked to the door, closing it before exiting, and turned back to me. "Say what you will, Tate, but you liked the way I sucked your cock the other night," he said, calm as a cucumber. A serial-killer cucumber, but calm as fuck for sure. His tone sent shivers down my spine, and a warning to my brain.

"Enjoy the rest of your day, Alec."

The look on his face was blank, but the message couldn't be clearer. He would not go away easily. I might have a serious problem on my hands.

I ripped the top sheet of paper that had Luke's name written on it from the notepad and stared at an open door Alec had just walked out of. Thinking about his intrusion only added resentment to an already shitty morning. My hand squeezed the yellow sheet of paper into a ball. Crushing, rolling, crushing, rolling. Over and over, tighter and tighter, until my hand hurt.