55. Fifty-Five

Fifty-Five

The afternoon sun warmed the melanin in my skin as I walked circle after circle in the castle’s courtyard. My feet matted down the grass as a bird sang in the distance, and wind rustled through my coils as I looked up to see Ata walking toward me.

“Hi,” she said quietly, pushing her arm through mine as I started my rounds again. “Landers said you’ve been walking out here for a few hours.”

I nodded, not pulling my eyes from the wildflowers that were fighting for life underneath the tread of my boots.

“Is everything all right?” she asked with furrowed brows, halting my aimless circling. I ran my hand through my hair, brushing it to the side.

“I spoke with Asrai,” I said flatly. She nodded her head waiting for me to continue. “It’s me, Ata. I am the child The Stories spoke of.”

I could see the questions flashing through her eyes and I looked away, returning to my pacing.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She kept her tone neutral.

I shook my head, letting out a sharp breath as I lowered myself to the ground and lay back on the grass, watching as the clouds inched across the blue painted sky.

“Can I tell you a story?” she asked, sitting down beside me and crossing her legs. I nodded as she pulled a blade of grass from the ground and twisted it between her fingers before she began.

“Until I was five, I didn’t know what I was—what kind of Realm Magic I had. Asrai had explained to me that I was from Ammord, but I was too young to understand what that meant. One day after class in the green house, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands like I had done every day before. When I looked up into the mirror, the face I saw looking back at me was not my own. I thought I was dreaming. I clawed at my face, screaming to be woken up. The professor rushed me to Asrai, unable to calm me and not understanding what was wrong because I refused to show her my face. That was the day I truly understood that I was a witch, and Asrai immediately started teaching me how to control my shifting abilities.” She paused looking down at me over her shoulder and I rolled onto my side to face her.

“The scar down my back . . . I wasn’t born with it like I told you; like I told everyone.” Her head dipped as her eyes fell back to the grass in front of her. “I tried cutting my magic out of me when I was six. I broke a mirror and dragged my back down its edges. I hated what it did to me. I thought it was evil and was willing to die in order to get it out of me.”

I sat up as my heart fell down my spine. Wrapping an arm around her shoulder, I pulled her into my side as a tear fell down her face.

“But then you came,” she said, wiping away the tear. “And we started training together, and you didn’t look at me like I was evil, so I asked Asrai to keep teaching me how to control it. I didn’t want her to train me how to wield it, I just wanted to know how to control it so you would never have to see that part of me—never see what I really am. And you never did, until the night we left the academy. But still, the way you looked at me never changed, you never looked at me like you saw evil.” She let out a deep breath as my eyes met with hers. “I didn’t tell you what I am, or about my magic because I was so ashamed and scared of it. I told myself no one could love a witch, but the truth was, it was just me—I was the only one that couldn’t love me.”

“Ata,” I said, wrapping my other arm around her chest, “there is nothing that could ever change the love that I have for you. Nothing.” My heart ached for her as I held her against me; ached for the child that felt harming herself was the only way out.

“I know that now,” she said quietly as she leaned her head against my shoulder. “This path we have been thrust into, has made me so grateful for the parts of myself that I loathed. Those are the parts that made it possible to help keep us safe.” She pulled away enough to look up at me with those green eyes lined with silver tears and let out a sharp breath.

“I know you well enough to know that the thoughts running through your head are unkind. That you are telling yourself you are not strong enough to have this kind of power. That you should have done more with it—that it should be anyone else’s. But it’s not, it’s yours. And you were given it for a reason. If you learn anything from this story, please let it be that there is only pain and shame waiting if you refuse to accept who you are. Shaming ourselves because of the magic we hold—because of who we are—will not change the reality of our circumstances. I wish I had learned that sooner in life.” She brushed a fallen tear out of the crevasse of my nose and gave me a delicate smile.

“We don’t get to choose who we are; we don’t get to choose the magic that flows through our blood. But we do get to choose how we use it.” I looked down at her for a long moment before I pulled her back into my side, resting my chin on the top of her head.

Every day I was reminded how lucky I was to have found a friend who understood me. Who knew what I was feeling without having to speak. I only wished I could have been that friend to her all these years. Seen the pain she was in and helped her shoulder that burden.

“Promise me,” I said, standing to my feet and pulling Ata up beside me. “Promise me you won’t hide your pain from me anymore. That you will let me help you carry it when it gets too heavy for you to lift on your own.”

“I promise.”

Landers sauntered into our chambers as the moon began to rise over Nethkar. I turned over to my back and propped myself onto my elbows, watching as he pulled the emerald tunic over his body, putting his muscular, inked chest on display.

I hadn’t seen Landers since leaving him to work in the war room with Wren.

So much had happened since then.

“How was your day?” Landers asked as he crawled onto the bed. He sat between my legs, pulling each one over his, as his fingers kneaded into the muscle of my calves. I groaned in response, falling against the sheets and crossing my arms over my face.

“That bad?” he chuckled, moving his fingers to the bottoms of my feet.

“How long have you known?”

Landers stilled. His hands squeezed around my feet as he let out a long breath. “I suspected when I saw how you killed that Wraith crossing into Ammord. But I knew . . .” I could hear him swallow. “I knew when Nithra brought you into Ithia. When you spoke to her, I knew what that meant.” He set my feet down on either side of him and reached for my hands, pulling my back off the bed.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You almost died, and you had lost Ardan . . . I did not want to add more to your shoulders.”

“So,” I said quietly, pulling my knees to my chest, “you didn’t think I could handle the truth.”

“No, I—” He dragged his hand over his face. “I wanted you to have time to grieve, have time to settle into your new home before I told you something that would alter the course of your life. Then I received word that Asrai was coming and . . . I assumed that news would be better coming from her.” He slid a finger under my chin, pulling my face up to his. “You deserved the truth and I should have told you, I see that now. I am sorry I kept it from you. I will not keep anything from you again. You have my word.” He stared into my eyes with such sincerity that I let out a small breath, the gust clearing my head enough to let the hurt I felt go. He let his forehead fall to mine as we sat intertwined.

“I don’t know what to do. I don’t want more people to die because of me. I don’t want Locdragoon to be put in danger because of what I am.”

“ You have to choose what you are going to do next, Hyacinth. I will not make that choice for you,” Landers said the words gently as he rose from the bed. “But you do need to know what is at stake. I made the decision to bring you to Locdragoon even after learning who you are, that was my decision. So the repercussions of that choice—whatever threat lands on my doorstep—rest on my shoulders, and my shoulders alone. That is not your burden to carry.” Landers dragged a hand through his hair before pinning his eyes back on mine.

“A war between the realms is coming, and there is nothing anyone can do to stop it. With Redelvtum fallen we have already lost our greatest ally before the war has even begun. But with your magic, and the hope you could bring to people of every realm, we may have a chance at winning. I will support whatever decision you make, I will put you on Nithra’s back right now and send you off into the depths of the universe if that is what you wish.” He sat back down on the edge of the bed, the muscles in his chest tightening as he pulled me toward him. “But”—he tucked a curl behind my ear—“I hope you decide to stay and fight. I hope you decide to become the warrior we both know is in you and step into the Goddess that you are. I hope you decide to use your power to lead the realms back into the light.”

I stared up at him for a long moment, letting his words sink in as my eyes lingered on his lips.

Interlocking my fingers around his neck, I pulled myself into his lap and let out a long breath as I rested my forehead against his.

“Can we talk about anything else?” I groaned quietly as Landers’s fingers tickled over my back. “My mind can’t handle any more new information today.”

A soft chuckle left his lips as he pulled back and gazed down at me. “Would you like to talk about how you looked sitting in my throne today?” he asked, tucking a strand of curls behind my ear as a smile tugged on the corners of my lips. “Or”—he pulled my chin closer—“would you like to talk about how, one day, I will have you screaming my name in that chair?” His voice was a low rumble as he said the words and his eyes glittered with excitement.

My veins heated at the sound of his words and I pressed my thighs together, trying to trap the need I felt between them. I touched my lips to his as my fingers made their way over his chest and down to his leathers. I could feel him hardening underneath my body.

I left a small trail of kisses up his jaw, stopping at the base of his ear and whispered, “Did you think I had forgotten about your little comment in the throne room?”

His eyes gleamed as I spoke and my fingers began unfastening each button on his leathers before gripping the waistband. He lifted his hips off the bed as I slid them down his strong legs, kneeling on the floor between them.

“Is this how you want me to kneel, Landers?” I wrapped my fingers around his base and a growl escaped his lips as he looked down at me. I slid my hand up his length, feeling him grow harder from the heat of my touch.

With a smirk, I leaned forward, letting my tongue trace the outline of his manhood. Landers’s breath hitched as I took him into my mouth, savoring the taste of him. I could feel him growing taut under my touch, his muscles tensing as I teased him with every flick of my tongue. My eyes locked with his as I looked up at him, my tongue tracing a path up his shaft. His breath caught in his throat as I took him into my mouth again, and my lips pressed against his warm skin as his head fell back toward the ceiling.

Landers let out a low moan as I worked my tongue around him, and he threaded his fingers through my curls, gently guiding my movements as I took him deeper and deeper.

“Gods, Hyacinth,” he breathed, his voice hoarse with pleasure.

I could see the fire dancing in his eyes, and I knew that he was completely lost inside the thralls of my touch. Power coursed through me, knowing that I could reduce this strong, powerful man to a quivering mass of desire. I could feel the heat building inside of me, and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to hold out much longer.

As if he had read my thoughts, Landers gently pushed me back, pulling me up to meet his lips in a fierce kiss. He tasted like honey and ale, and I could feel his desperation as he pulled me closer.

“I want you,” he growled, his fingers digging into my hips. I smiled, my own fingers tracing the lines of his chest.

“I’m yours.”

He kissed me again, his hands roaming my body, pulling my clothes from each limb and exposing my bare skin to the cold air. I shivered, goosebumps rising on my flesh.

Landers pulled me onto the bed, pushing me onto my back as he took his time exploring my body, his fingers tracing every curve and contour. He kissed my neck, my breasts, my stomach, each touch sending a jolt of pleasure through me.

I moaned, my hands gripping his shoulders as he continued his exploration.

He teased me with his fingers, bringing me closer and closer to my body’s limit with each circled stroke at my apex.

I shifted, rolling onto my stomach as he pulled me to my knees and positioned himself between my legs. I looked back at Landers, his eyes meeting mine over my shoulder and burning with desire.

“Are you ready?” he asked, his voice low and husky.

I nodded, my heart racing in anticipation.

I needed him. I needed to feel him inside of me.

He entered me slowly, his movements deliberate and controlled. I gasped, my nails digging into the silken sheets as he filled me completely, my body tight around him.

His rhythm was steady as each thrust sent waves of pleasure crashing through me, and I could feel myself slipping further and further into oblivion.

I gripped the sheets tighter, my breath coming in ragged gasps as Landers increased his pace. He was relentless, his strokes growing harder and faster with each passing moment. I could feel the pressure building inside of me, my body trembling with the effort to hold on.

“Harder,” I begged, my voice barely a whisper. “Please, Landers.”

A wicked smile spread across his face as he buried himself inside me, his pace quickening. He gripped my hips, pulling me back towards him as he thrust deeper and deeper. I cried out, my body trembling as fire roared through my veins. A flash of pleasure shot through me as he hit that sensitive spot deep within my core, and I could feel myself teetering on the fringe. The sound seemed to spur him on as he drove into me with a reckless abandon.

My moans grew louder as my body trembled beneath him. Landers wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close as he picked up the pace. I could feel every inch of him, and I never wanted it to end.

I never wanted this to end.

He dipped his fingers around my stomach and began to stroke me, his fingers expertly finding my clit as I crumbled beneath him. It was too much, and I felt myself spiraling toward the cliff’s edge.

I cried out, my body convulsing as the first wave of release washed over me, but Landers didn’t stop, his movements becoming more frantic as he chased his own release.

“Hyacinth,” he moaned, his voice like a prayer in the wind. I arched my back, meeting every one of his thrusts with my own. My skin buzzed from the pleasure controlling my body.

The room was spinning, colors swirling around me as he fucked me like a man possessed.

His hips crashed into mine with each powerful thrust and I could feel the tension building within me again, coiling tightly into a ball in the pit of my stomach.

“I’m close,” I gasped, my fingers clutching at the sheets as the fire inside my core threatened to consume me. “Oh Gods, I’m—” Landers stopped only for a moment to flip me onto my back. His strong hands grabbed my thighs, stretching my legs over each of his shoulders as he plunged back into me.

“Hyacinth,” he growled, his voice ragged. “Look at me.”

It was a command.

I opened my eyes, heavy with desire, and met his emerald gaze. His eyes were on fire, wild and untamed yet filled with an intensity that made my heart stutter in my chest.

In that moment—in that look between us—I felt like I could entrust him with all my secrets; with my very soul.

Again I inched closer to that threshold I so desperately craved, but part of me didn’t want it to end. His strong, warm body pressed against mine, his breath hot in my ear, sending shivers down my spine. I could feel him opening me up in ways I never knew possible and a sob caught in my chest as I stared up at the man I loved.

Landers’s thrusts became frenzied, harder and deeper, driving us both towards that brink neither of us could resist any longer. My world began to blur around the corners as the pleasure of him intensified tenfold. My orgasm built within me like a raging fireball, ready to consume us both whole.

“Say it,” he growled into my ear, and I knew what he meant.

I knew what he wanted to hear.

What he needed to hear.

The possessiveness in his voice should have frightened me, but it only made the flames burn brighter. A cry that split the air between us slipped from my lips and my back arched toward him.

“Yours! I’m yours, Landers!”

My climax ripped through me like lightning and with one final, deep plunge, he roared my name as we both fell into nirvana together. Our release mingled together as he spilled himself inside of me, our bodies speaking a language all their own.

We lay there panting, our bodies entwined, our hearts pounding in tandem as we basked in the afterglow of it all.

“I love you,” he whispered, his voice barely audible above the sound of our labored breathing. Landers rolled over, wrapping his arms around me as he pulled me close and kissed my forehead gently, his breath warm against my skin. “I love you, Hyacinth,” he said again, his timbre soft and full of emotion as his eyes searched mine.

“To death?” I asked, pressing my lips against his warm chest.

“To death,” Landers responded, pulling my chin up to meet his gaze with a soft smile as my heart swelled inside my chest.

“I love you too.”

As we drifted off to sleep, I couldn’t help but feel like everything was finally falling into place. For the first time in my life, I felt like I belonged. I had found my place in the world, and it was here, wrapped in the arms of the man I loved.

I couldn’t wait to see what the future held for us.

But as much as I tried to push the thought away, I couldn’t shake the feeling that darkness was lurking just beyond the horizon, waiting to tear us apart.

I let my decision settle in me then, wrapped up in his warmth. If I wanted a chance at a life with him—a life with all of my family—I would have to stay. I would have to fight for it.

I could feel the despair skulking around the edges of our world, threatening to consume us if we let it. For now, though, we would savor this moment, holding onto each other as tight as we could. We would cherish this time together, knowing that it was precious and fleeting.

And when the world came crashing down around us, we would be ready.