43. Forty-Three

Forty-Three

My soul was on fire; my insides burning, blistering, screaming in pain.

“Hyacinth!”

That was Ata’s voice.

That was her voice screaming for me.

A dragon’s roar shook the ground I lay on and I felt her tail curl around me. Protecting me.

She didn’t know these were my friends. These voices were my family.

I lifted a hand in the air searching for someone, anyone as I blinked away the black spots in my vision.

I felt the heat of her nostrils under my palm as my eyes focused on hers, then blurred again.

“My friends,” I coughed out, the tang of blood coating my tongue. “They are my friends.”

I prayed they were.

I could not see them, only hear Ata’s cries yards from where I laid.

I felt arms under me, lifting me from the ground and pushing me against a warm, hard chest.

I knew this scent.

I knew these hands.

I forced my eyes open and Landers’s face came into view.

His beautiful, lovely face filled my eyes. A sob broke out of me at the sight and I prayed he was real. My hand shot to his neck, wrapping around him—touching him.

I had to make sure it was him. That it was really him and he was really here.

“Please hold on,” Landers begged against my ear. His voice was panicked, flowing with fear as he pushed his brow to mine.

I cupped his face in my hand, and before I could slip back into darkness I whispered the words I promised myself I would tell him if I ever saw him again.

“I love you.”

Hushed whispers echoed from the corner of the room as I stirred from sleep. The pain had dulled enough that I could keep my vision steady.

I blinked, adjusting my eyes to the rays of sun that were flowing through the window.

“We cannot stay here, Landers.”

“This is the only place in the realms that can help her.”

“I can hear you,” I groaned, gasping at the searing pain that shot through my body as I forced my limbs to move. I hissed through my teeth as I rolled over to face them.

Landers had already rushed to the side of my bed, moving the pillows to prop my head up. Andrues lingered in the corner, studying me with worried eyes.

I met his stare, and grinned at him. The furrow in Andrues brow eased as a half-smile crept onto his face. He chuckled softly as he approached.

“I cannot believe you are alive,” Landers said barely above a whisper as Andrues picked up my wrist to track my pulse.

I inhaled sharply, clutching my side as I tried to sit further up. His eyes flashed with worry as I breathed through the pain. “You taught me well.” His eyes remained hollow as a soft smile graced his lips.

“Try not to move,” Andrues said, setting my wrist lightly on the bed.

A squeal erupted in the room as Ata burst in.

Andrues threw up his arm, blocking her from jumping into the bed with me. I beamed up at her as she swatted his arm away. A knot formed in my throat and I swallowed it away as tears pricked at the corners of my eyes.

She was alive.

She was alive .

A tear slid down her cheek as she gently brushed her hand against my skin.

“When you are well enough,” she said softly, wiping the tears away, “I am going to kick your ass for doing something so incredibly stupid.” My mouth cracked open with a wide grin and we erupted into laughter.

I struggled to breathe as coughs broke into my joy and blood sprayed onto the fraying blankets. An unforgiving reminder of my circumstances.

I threw my head back in pain as my side grew wet and that fire began again, scratching underneath my skin—clawing its way through my bloodstream.

“Out,” Andrues demanded. “Both of you.” His stern gaze bounced back and forth between the two of them and Ata relented, pulling on Landers’s shoulder as she turned to the door.

He took a step out of her grasp.

“I am not going anywhere, brother .” Landers’s words were a soft growl as he took a step toward me. “You must not know me, if you think I will ever let her out of my sight again.”

Ata’s eyes shot between Landers and Andrues as a tight silence pulled between them. Andrues stepped forward, placing a hand on Landers shoulder.

“I swear to you, I will take care of her. Do not forget your position. You have other responsibilities that will not wait for you to be ready,” Andrues said, lifting a brow. Landers’s jaw feathered at the words, his fists clenching at his sides before he let out a sharp breath and ran a hand through his hair.

“I will be alright, Landers,” I said softly, reaching up to pull his hand into mine. “I promise not to make any deals today.” I smiled up at him and his shoulders relaxed as he turned to fully face me.

“I will be back to check on you,” Landers said, placing a soft kiss in the middle of my brow.

I nodded through the pain.

“Do not let anyone in this room, do you understand me?” Landers hissed at Andrues as he turned to leave. Andrues placed his hand over his heart and bowed his head as Ata pulled on Landers’s arm, dragging him out of the doorway.

As the latch clicked into place, I let out a wail of pain through clenched teeth.

“What is,” I gasped, “happening to me?” I balled my fists into the sheets as another involuntary shriek left my lips.

Andrues placed his palm against my shoulder, holding me down with gentle strength as he pulled the blankets from my body.

Horror flooded through me as I looked down to see my wound.

A spiderweb of black veins slithered out from under my dressing. I looked up to meet his eyes with a frenzied stare, and in that moment I knew.

The residue.

It was inside of me; poisoning me, breaking down my organs second by second.

“Can . . . can you heal this?” I stumbled over the words as they came out.

“No.” There was sadness in his voice as he redressed the wound, rinsing the blackened blood from my skin. “I can slow it, but I cannot stop it. I am not a powerful enough healer for this kind of magic.” His hands shook as he said the words and I placed my fingers onto his, pausing their work.

“Andrues.” I squeezed his hand. “How long?”

His eyes met mine. “I do not think you will make it through the night.” Grief crossed his face as he shifted his eyes back to his work.

Andrues packed the wound tight with a salve before tying a damp cloth around me.

“This should help ease the pain for the next few hours,” he said, standing and removing the wooden bowl of water from my bedside. “I need to replenish my inventory, I will be back in a few hours to reexamine the wound. You should try to get some rest.”

“I need to see Ardan.”

“Hyacinth, you need to rest.”

I pushed myself up, wincing at the pain as my lungs struggled for breath. “Andrues.” I held his gaze, an urgent plea. “Please tell him to come.”

Andrues dragged his hand over his face and nodded.

I sat in the small bed, staring out the open window as I waited for Ardan to come. Clouds floated all around us, and the tips of the highest mountains jutted through their fluffy surface. It was so green, so full of life. Cherry blossom trees peppered the large opening outside my window, and a large stream with lily pads floating lazily on its surface cut through the lush ground. The peaceful serenity of the view belied the turmoil roiling within me.

I had heard stories about the high mountains of Ithia. The Yaldrin healers had built their homes here; they were said to possess extraordinary abilities to mend the body and soul. I wondered what secrets resided within the walls of their ancient temples, hidden among the mist-shrouded peaks.

I could hear mumbling outside the door before it creaked open. I pulled my eyes from the clouds outside the window and looked toward the sound. Ardan stepped into the room, eying me with a soft smile.

“So,” he said, crossing arms over his broad chest, “you sacrifice yourself for us, just to return a week later with two strays, a dragon, and an entire army on your tail?” He strode over to the bed, picking up a feeble wooden chair from the corner that I was sure wouldn’t hold his weight, and plopped down into it. Folding his arms over the back of the chair and resting his chin on them, he grinned.

I rolled my eyes as he continued with, “How very Hyacinth of you. Once a trouble maker, always a trouble maker I see.” I could feel his warmth washing over me as his glittering eyes examined me. His healing presence saturated the air around us, filling the room with ease.

We basked in the silence for a long moment, letting it cleanse us as warm, fragrant air billowed through the open window.

“Ardan,” I said his name with a hushed reverence.

He reached out for my hand, intertwining our fingers together as his face fell into sadness. “I know, Cin.”

Tears welled up in my eyes as I looked at him. Memorized him. “I’m scared,” I whispered as the tears spilled over.

He pushed the chair out from under him, kneeling by my side without letting go of my hand. He pressed his mouth against my fingers. “I am too.” He took in a deep breath, strangling the sob I could hear at the edge of his words. “I don’t know how to lose you again.”

I pushed my hand under his chin, forcing him to look up at me and winced as I moved closer to him. “You saved me.”

His brows furrowed together at my words, unsure of their meaning.

“On the first night you walked me back to my dorm, you saved me.” I wiped the tears from my face as I smiled softly down at him. “Taft had hit me for the first time that night. He had told me I was better off dead than being a burden to everyone around me.” His grip tightened on my hand as rage flashed in his eyes. “When he said those words to me, I had made up my mind that he was right, that everyone would have been better off without me. I was going to leave his quarters, sneak to the green house and ingest the entire cache of nightshade. But then you came barreling through the door. Do you remember what you told me that night as we walked through the halls?”

He shook his head, releasing an isolated tear.

I wiped it from the corner of his mouth and smiled down at him. “You told me that I matter. It was the first time anyone had ever said those words to me, yet somehow—you knew I needed to hear them. You told me that I matter, Ardan. And every single second since that moment, you have shown me that I do.” His tears flowed as freely as mine now as he looked back at me with so much love.

“I love you, Cin,” he said as the sob released from his chest and he laid his head down, his forehead pressed to my hand as I ran my fingers through his golden locks.

“I love you too, brother.”

We let ourselves cry together for the next hour, releasing the grief into the world; giving it over to the Gods as Andrues stepped into the room.

I sniffed, wiping my nose with the back of my hand. “Look at us,” I said with a thin laugh.

“Asrai would be so disappointed in me,” Ardan said with a soft chuckle.

“Big strong warriors shouldn’t cry,” I mimicked Asrai’s voice and we broke into laughter at the sound of it.

“If only she knew,” he said, wiping the remaining tears from his blood shot eyes. “I probably cry more than you now, and that’s saying something.” Ardan winked as he stood up from my side and pulled the blanket back up to my chin. “Try and get some rest, Cin.” I nodded as a blanket of exhaustion crashed down on me.

He headed for the door but before he could reach it I asked, “Where is Taft?”

Not that I expected him to come running to my side after everything.

Ardan turned to face me, a deep sigh blowing from his lips. “He left. After we left Mornos and arrived here, he said he was done. Said that he wouldn’t allow you to sacrifice yourself. We haven’t seen him or heard from him since then.”

A mix of emotions flooded his features and I knew he was grappling with the pain of losing his best friend and the truth of the abuse that I had just laid on his shoulders.

“Ardan I am so—”

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Ardan interrupted. “It was your decision, just as much as this was his.”

I stared back into his sad eyes, wishing there was something—anything—I could do to fix this mess.

“Sleep, Cin,” Ardan said, and shut the door behind him.