18. Eighteen

Eighteen

I stumbled up the steps toward my room, the wine tingling underneath my skin. I stopped as I reached the hallway, then took a step back.

I couldn’t go there.

I didn’t want to go there. Not without Taft. Not without knowing if he would come back to us. Come back to me. I turned slowly, heading in the opposite direction and before I could stop myself I was knocking on Landers’s door. Moments later, it opened.

“What can I help you with, Hyacinth?” Landers’s voice was like the rumble of thunder, deep and menacing. The intensity of his gaze pinned me to the spot.

I swallowed hard, trying to gather my thoughts. “I-I wanted to talk,” I stammered, my voice barely a whisper.

He raised a brow, his expression skeptical as he opened the door wider to let me in.

“What would you like to talk about?”

“How could you do that to Taft?” I blurted out. “I know you were angry but how could you hurt him like that?”

Landers let out a short laugh, a bitter sound that sent shivers down my spine. “Angry, Hyacinth? I was furious. He deserved what he got, and frankly, I do not believe he deserves the air he breathes.”

“You could have killed him, Landers!” I protested. “You threatened to kill him!”

“And I meant it,” Landers snarled, his eyes glinting dangerously. “If he so much as breathes in your direction again without your permission, I will not hesitate to make good on that promise.”

The stark confession hung between us, a sharp blade cutting through the thick tension. My breath caught in my throat, and I stared at Landers in horror. I had never seen him so cold, so utterly heartless.

The heat from the fire seemed to intensify, its flames licking at the corners of the room, casting grotesque shadows on the walls. Landers’ eyes were a fiery emerald, their depths swirling with a dangerous emotion.

“What, Hyacinth?” he asked, his voice a venomous whisper. “Did you think me a gentleman? A soft, loving creature?”

He took a step toward me, and the air around us grew thick. I stumbled back, my heart pounding in my chest like a fist.

“I am a monster, Hyacinth,” he said, each syllable colder than the last. “I have ended countless lives without a second thought. Each kill etched into my memory like a scar, a constant reminder of the darkness that consumes me—the darkness that I am. And I would do it again without hesitation to protect my people. My realm. My family.”

I stared at Landers in mute horror as he closed the distance between us, his eyes boring into mine.

“If you think what I did to Taft was bad, then you need to run far, far away from me. Because it will happen again. I will decimate anyone who tries to hurt you; anyone who lays a hand on you.”

His breath was hot on my cheek, his scent intoxicating and dangerous. Despite the fear that clawed at my insides, a strange pull drew me towards him. His eyes, held a power that both terrified and allured me.

I knew I should run, that I should flee from him as fast as my feet would carry me. But something held me back, and I couldn’t ignore it. I stared up at him as our heavy breaths filled the small space between us.

“You’re not a monster,” I whispered, my voice shaking at the edges.

“Are you frightened of me, Hyacinth?” He took a step closer, pulling my chin up as my chest pressed against his.

“Yes,” I breathed, as his lips lowered to caress my ear.

“Do you want to run?”

I shuddered at the warmth of his breath kissing my skin. “No.”

A low growl crept up his throat as he raised his eyes to mine.

With slow, precise movements, Landers let his thumb slide over my lips as his eyes fell to my mouth. His gaze lingered there for a second before abruptly pulling away and striding across the room. Landers’s muscles tightened as he clutched the back of the velvet chair like he was trying to regain control.

He took a few deep breaths before he looked up at me again. A battle raged in his expression as he watched me. I leaned my head against the wall and let out a sharp breath, trying to calm every nerve ending that he had just ignited.

“I need you to go back to your room, Hyacinth.” He spoke slowly. “I need you to leave.”

My spine straightened at his words as my heart began rapidly pounding in my chest. I stepped forward, my brows creasing down the middle.

“Landers, I—”

“Please, Hyacinth.” He cut me off. “Please, just leave.” He dragged a hand over his face as he turned his back to me, his eyes focusing on the dark forest outside his window. Tears stung the corners of my eyes as I frantically reached for the door handle.

I would not let him see me cry, not again.

I sprinted down the hall. No longer caring how empty and hollow the room felt as I shut the door behind me. I leaned my back against it, sliding down to the floor as the floodgates opened.

I stayed there, sobbing on the ground as I drifted off to sleep between tears. Letting all this pain pull me into a dreamless slumber.