26

IVY

RAIN misted outside the house in a sad drizzle.Water glistened on the surrounding trees, and it would have looked somewhat magical if it weren’t for the ache in my head and the magic burning in my veins.

Thankfully, the girls were occupied by a movie marathon that not even Eloise could say no to. The weather was perfect for a day in bed, enjoying timeless cartoons and buttery popcorn. After the last few days and the power surge, though, I couldn’t bring myself to sit with them.

Waiting outside my door had been a familiar bag I hadn’t expected to see again for a while. Not only had it taken me by surprise, but it had torn into my soul with a fury I hadn’t been able to mask. My old life, my love and passion, tucked into one bag.

Everything I had been working so hard for seemed far away. How would writing and publishing fit into this new world? It was so ingrained in my being that I knew I would find a way. I had when I was living at home throughout high school, seeking an escape from a life determined to pull me into the depths of stress and drown me in assignments and babysitting. During college, while balancing classes and work, I somehow made time to write and publish my first novel thanks to late nights and an endless supply of caffeine.

But what did I know about being a Queen? Of the responsibilities?

Does it matter right now, though? I wondered as I stared into the bag, at the laptop and pages of notes for a deadline nearly impossible to meet.

I suspected Maeve was in her office while Elias was on duty with Rowan, and Adrian was off somewhere with one of the members of the other teams getting supplies.

A smile touched my lips as I pulled the bag into my chest and carried it towards the room where I’d first met with Queen Greer. The lights were off when I entered, the library barely illuminated by the gloomy sky outside the large window, and a permanent chill seemed to be working its way through me from the stillness of the space.

I suppressed a shiver, rolled my shoulders back, and sought out a quiet corner to work—one that would allow me to charge my likely dead laptop. It seemed there was access to outlets all over the room, though it shouldn’t have surprised me. Based on the layout, with the shelves and large desks outfitted with computers, I suspected the room was used as some sort of meeting space for missions more than a library.

But it was perfectly quiet, so I gave into the atmosphere of misty rain and gloomy skies as I settled into one of the empty desks. I unpacked my bag with steady hands, my heart thumping wildly in my chest.

Like this would be the last time I’d get to do this.

~

I worked for what felt like hours, completely immersed in my book. The words flowed through me as I continued the story I’d been working on the night I’d been attacked. Maybe it was because of how everything had changed so quickly, but I saw the tale of the lowly scullery maid bargaining with her lord in a new light. Perhaps there was more depth to their story than I’d ever thought possible.

As the room grew darker, I didn’t find myself afraid of the shadows sneaking up around me; the threat of night nothing more than a passing hour on a clock I so diligently ignored when in the throes of a new novel. Night had once been the time when I could be most productive—no classes to take notes in, no coffees to make for tired college students, no watching the kids so Kerry could go out with her girlfriends.

Nights, once upon a time, had been my muse.

So, I gave into the night’s creativity and worked. The scullery maid had just learnt the truth that her lord was not a man—but a lady of the house in disguise, claiming her brother’s place after his mysterious death. And the bargain they’d struck? The maid would marry the disguised lady, allowing them to claim the inheritance and find the lord’s killer.

My fingers flew across the keyboard, the clicking sound of keys a symphony of inspiration, a call from the muse. Even the soft pattering of rain against the windows moved me forward through the story.

As I wrote about the maid assuming her new identity, I felt a gentle tug at the bond tying me to Elias. The words slowed, and I felt for him on my own end, locating the bright tether between us.

Is something wrong? I asked, worry tightening in my belly. I started pushing away from the desk as his words rolled down the bond.

Nothing, Angel. I just wanted to check in with you.

I couldn’t help but smile. I’m okay. Just working.

A comforting warmth followed my response, one that gave me an idea of how Elias was feeling. I can feel how content you are. My cheeks warmed unexpectedly. It was just another thing I”d have to get used to when it came to being bonded. The knowledge that nothing was ever going to be truly hidden from the people I would spend the rest of my life with.

I sighed as he spoke again. I take it you haven’t seen Grey yet?

A small part of me was afraid to see her after how I’d handled the power surge. The stoic and poised vampire, who was so attuned to her emotions.

No, I’ve been in the meeting room all day, I replied carefully. Why?

She has something you might want. There was a flash of amusement, and then I felt him retreat from the conversation. Yet another thing I would have to get used to, I supposed. Having him leave conversations so abruptly, leaving me to wonder what the hell he was talking about.

With a shake of my head, I quietly packed up my laptop and plot notes, carefully storing them in my bag. One day, when this wasn’t so overwhelming, I’d return to it with a fresh outlook.

I snorted, throwing the strap over my shoulder. I doubted I would ever get over the craziness surrounding me.

I had one guess as to where I would find the vampire who never slept, and I assumed that would be her office. The smaller room was only a door away, and yet I hesitated in the hallway. My stomach churned with anxiety. It’s just Maeve, I thought, rolling my shoulders back with a stubbornness I didn’t usually possess. What’s the worst that could happen?

I steeled myself and knocked three times on the dark wood door. I felt the vibrations of it through my knuckles and up my arms, which barely covered the odd warmth of her presence within. There was a soft, muffled sound, barely audible, so I swung the door open.

Despite the shadows and low lighting in the room, it was clear what was happening within. Or sort of clear. At least it was easy to assume what Maeve was doing with the shifter girl from Jay’s team.

The shifter-woman was sitting on the edge of the desk while Maeve stood behind her. Hair pulled to the side, the shifter cocked her head, while Maeve had her hands planted on the woman’s shoulders.

Piercing red eyes met mine over the shoulder of the shifter, her chin dropped to her chest. A thin line of blood dripped down her bare shoulder to the neckline of her basic grey tee. The shifter girl’s eyes blinked open, and a soft moan slipped from her lips as Maeve pulled away from her, leaving only the marks of her bite behind.

Red-hot emotion surged in my stomach, rising like fire in my chest. I wasn’t sure how to describe the feeling other than it being a primal reaction to something I had no reason to judge.

“Ivy.” For the first time ever, I think Maeve was left speechless. Under other circumstances, I might have found that funny.

Heat flooded my cheeks, and I took an unintentional step back, my stare focused on the blood coating her lips. “I am so sorry,” I said, my words stiff and bitter on my tongue. “I should have—”

“No.” Maeve wiped her thumb over her bottom lip, erasing any evidence of her feeding. “I should have locked the door. Did you need something urgently?”

My throat tightened unexpectedly. “I was told by Elias that you needed to see me.”

Maeve straightened and, without another word, pulled a small vessel from a drawer in her desk. The shifter didn’t speak as Maeve lathered the small puncture holes with the paste.

“Thank you for your time today, Navya,” Maeve said, putting the vessel away. “You’ll start feeling better soon.”

The shifter, Navya, rose from the edge of the desk and shook out her arms. “Already feeling better. Your venom isn’t as strong as it used to be, Grey.”

My stomach twisted, and I couldn’t help but avert my eyes as the shifter quickly fixed her shirt. Maeve also didn’t respond to the comment. I wasn’t sure what it was about this that made me feel so...uncomfortable. I knew that Maeve would have to feed from living people at some point and had to have fed from them before the invention of blood bags. So, what was it that made me irrationally angry?

Navya paused before me and bowed her head, thumping her fist against her chest. “I’m sorry for your loss,” she said quietly, her brows furrowing as she frowned. “May your mother rest peacefully with Nyx.”

Before I could respond, she was gone, slipping out the open door and shutting it gently behind her. The corners of my eyes burned with the threat of tears, but I blinked them away rapidly.

“The tonic I promised,” Maeve said, her accent thicker than it normally was. I glanced up and found her holding a small blue vial, the liquid shimmering in the desk lamp’s waning light. My brows furrowed asI looked between her and the vial, and she continued, “It will help with the nightmares. This should hold them at bay until you complete your third mate bond.”

My heart clenched as I approached the desk and picked up the small bottle. “Thank you,” I replied, voice soft. I clutched the vial in my hand as I met her stare. “Really. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

Maeve gave a simple nod and stepped back, clasping her hands behind her back. “Drink a third tonight, a third tomorrow, and the rest the following night. It will take three days to fully settle in your system, according to Queen Greer, but it will help.”

A shiver raced down my spine at the coldness in her tone. “Okay.”

Our eyes met. There was a hardness in hers I didn’t recognise, one that made my heart crack a little. Like she didn’t trust me.

Walking in on her feeding was probably a taboo in her world.I swallowed the thickness in my throat. “Did I do something wrong?” I whispered. “I’m sorry about what just happened, and—”

Maeve blinked. For the first time since I walked in, another new emotion finally appeared on her stony face: surprise.

She shook her head. “Of course not. Why would you—”

“You’re acting like I might bite you or something,” I replied. “Like I’ve done something to upset you. And I understand if I have because I just wasn’t thinking when I walked in, and...”

I trailed off as scorching heat ran down my cheeks and neck. The vampire stared at me for a long moment, like she was unsure how to respond. The careful mask slipped back into place as her eyes searched mine.

“You have done nothing to upset me, Ivy.” I almost flinched but held myself together—or tried to, at least. “My apologies if I made you feel as such. What you witnessed here is completely normal, though not something I participate in regularly. Only when blood bags are unavailable.”

Part of me didn’t believe that was all. She was harder than she usually was. Sometimes, I caught a rare softness in her eyes that warmed me and gave me a sense of peace. I wanted to gauge her emotions, to understand what was running through her head. The need to know was a force I didn’t quite understand, but I was slowly realising that perhaps I wasn’t supposed to.

Maeve bowed her head, and moved, like she was prepared to ask me to leave. My heart crashed against my ribcage in warning. It knew I couldn’t leave until I got a response from her, until I understood her better.

She took a step, and without thinking, I jumped forward. “Wait!” I reached out as if to touch her but hesitated. “Please. Just—just talk to me for a moment.”

“Ivy, I—”

“Please.” Her entire body was wound so tight I expected her to run. She could escape this easily with her speed, but after an agonising beat of silence, her shoulders fell, and she turned to face me with a wary expression.

I swallowed hard and motioned to one of the chairs surrounding her desk. “Just sit with me for a few minutes,” I pleaded.

Maeve blew out a long breath and shook her head. “There is nothing wrong. You did nothing wrong.” Despite saying it like the talk was over, she sat anyway, and I took one of the chairs across from her. I fought the urge to reach out to her and tucked my hands into my lap.

“Then what is wrong?” I asked carefully.

“You have to understand, I must always be in control,” she stared, voice stiff. “It has been a long time since I lost control like that. And it never should have happened.”

My brows furrowed as I took in the defeated drop of her shoulders and the loathing in her striking eyes. I wracked my brain for a moment, trying to understand why she might be talking about a lack of control, when she continued.

“It hasn’t happened in years—the blood lust taking over me like it did. My intention had been to train and work through the plans for our departure, and in doing so, I ignored my hunger. That is no excuse, I know, and I apologise for frightening you. You never should have been in a position to see that.”

I stilled completely and cocked my head. “You’re sorry for what happened in the basement?” I asked quietly, wringing my hands to avoid reaching out to her again.

Of all the things, I hadn’t expected that. Because of Kerry’s death and trying to keep the girls happy, I’d almost forgotten about that moment in the basement when Hawk and I had stumbled across Maeve training. The memory of her anger flashed across my mind, of the sadness that had welled within me because I thought I’d been the issue there.

“I don’t think any less of you for what happened,” I replied, shaking my head. “Maeve, seriously, I thought I’d done something wrong. But I never thought any different about you because I knew it wasn’t your fault. You can ask Hawk. He was pissed, but I defended you because I knew you wouldn’t have hurt me.”

Maeve’s eyes snapped up to meet mine, hardening. “You don’t know that, Ivy.”

But I nodded, finally taking the chance to reach for her. She let me take her hand, though I could read the hesitation in her features, the uncertainty. And I understood now that she wasn’t wary of me—she just didn’t trust herself.

“I do, though,” I whispered, offering her a soft smile. “I know you wouldn’t have hurt me.”

Her eyes flickered shut, and she sucked in a breath. “I wanted to, though.” Maeve tilted her head back but didn’t pull her hand from mine. “I cannot explain that loss of control. I’d wanted to bite you. Feed from you. I rarely take from the vein, yet in that moment, it had been an all-consuming thought.” She shuddered, squeezing my hand. “I do not deserve your understanding.”

“Why not?” I asked, cocking my head. “You were perfectly in control moments ago. You’ve been in control before, apparently. I might not be well versed in all things supernatural or magical, but I can be a pretty damn good judge of character when needed, and I don’t think you would have hurt me. Which might sound na?ve, but I’m also pretty powerful according to everyone else, so you wouldn’t have had the chance to do much damage, right?”

Maeve dropped her head to meet my stare. She’d closed herself off again, though her eyes were critical as she searched my face, perhaps wondering if I was lying and just telling her this to make her feel better.

But I also couldn’t explain why I wasn’t worried.

“You should be more afraid of us,” she warned. “Control can snap. With you, I can never be certain whether I am completely in control of my monster or not.”

I shrugged. “I’m not afraid of you or the team. I’ll wait to pass judgement on the others, and anyone else because you’re right. I should be afraid of them. But not you, or Elias, or Adrian, or Rowan. I know I don’t need to be afraid of you, and I can’t explain why.”

“I cannot change your mind, can I?” she asked.

I shook my head. “Nope.”

A smile tugged at the corners of her lips, but her expression changed thoughtful as she released my hand. “I have some work I need to return to,” she said, rising from her chair. “I appreciate your understanding regarding my moment of bloodlust. I can promise it won’t happen again.” She bowed her head, and before I could say anything else, she was gone, leaving me in her office, alone with the darkness and the rainy night.