CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

RYDER

––––––––

I watch Savannah step out the door in her beautiful blue gown, and my heart tightens in my chest. Christ, if I thought she was gorgeous before, I had no idea what I was talking about.

She is absolutely fucking stunning.

But never more beautiful than when she's riding my cock and gazing down at me with eyes full of lust and feeling.

I hope I'm not too late.

I could be making a huge mistake right now, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that if I don't, I'll regret it forever.

This is an important night for her.

Possibly one of the most important nights.

She could win a Golden Globe for best actress. It might be her only win. Or she may have many.

You don't know.

And one thing about spending some of your life in war-stricken regions is you realize how important the now is. Not the future and, yeah, not the damn past.

I did fail Savannah.

I did fail the woman in Iraq.

When Aidan turned up with Max hanging off his hand and shoved him into my chest, it ripped my heart in two.

Savannah had told me it was over with that one act. Which was fair enough. I don't blame her. I'd kept away, ignored her messages, and protected my heart.

Telling myself I was protecting her.

"You know you're an idiot, right," Aidan said to me.

"For? Sharing my cat?" I took Max from him, and he jumped out of my arms and ran into his house like he'd just been staying at a friends for a sleepover but was glad to be home.

"She wants to see you. Not your damn cat," he growled.

"You a shrink as well as a marine now?" I ask, walking into the house with him following.

"You risked your job to fuck her and—"

"I didn't just fuck her!" I spun around and pointed at his face.

Stupid asshole smirked at me.

"Shit." I dropped my hand and went to the fridge, pulling out two beers. I tossed one his way and yeah, I might have let it go a little short so he had to jump for it.

"Oops."

Aidan laughed. "Don't be a fool, man. I lost a girl once and trust me, it's painful. It doesn't get easier, and it never goes away."

I sipped my beer.

"Who was she?"

"The love of my life," he said, staring out the window longingly. Then seemed to snap out of it. "Why aren't you there with her?"

I stared down into my beer.

"Let me see. Movie star falls in love with bodyguard who didn't protect her from being shot—it's not exactly a great love story."

"Maybe she doesn't want a love story. Maybe she wants you," he says.

"Then why hasn't she—"

Damn.

Saying it out loud, I realized what a dick I've been. Every single excuse I was looking for just sounded pathetic. I never gave us a chance. I've never asked her if she would want to be with me.

If she loves me.

Savannah has lost everyone and now I've deserted her, too.

What a prick.

But it could be too late. I might have pulled my head out of my ass a few days ago, but now I'm standing on the edge of the cliff not knowing how she'll react when she sees me.

When I tell her how I feel.

This could be a terrible idea, as I said, but I've faced scarier things—debatable—so as my heart beats loudly in my eardrums and I watch Savannah walk toward me, I curse and draw in a sharp breath.

I tug on my tuxedo shirt collar as the door opens. Her team gathers her dress, and she climbs in.

When she's settled, she glances down the length of the limousine and gasps.

"Ryder."

"Hello, sweetheart." I rasp.

––––––––

"I'LL BE IN the other car." Briar winks as she closes the door.

It's taken a team to set this entire thing up. So if Savannah rejects me and I have to climb out of the limo, it will be a rather public affair.

Fuck it.

Risking my pride is worth it.

She's worth it.

"What are you doing here?" Savannah asks, looking confused.

I climb out of my seat and move down the vehicle, sitting as close as I can, given the expanse of her skirt.

"Max sent me," I say.

It's a dumb thing to say, but I'm a soldier, not Romeo.

"Ryder." She shakes her head as the limo starts moving and we settle back into our seats. Her eyes widen and I see her panic for a moment.

God, I hate that. I hate that she's worried about being with me.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" Savannah asks, guarded, as she should be.

"For not being there for you," I reply, holding her green gaze. "For not telling you how I feel."

Her lips part.

"I've assumed a lot of things and hell, maybe I'm right and if so, then I will watch you walk into the awards tonight on your own. But if...if you feel the same way and..."

Fuck. I'm not usually this uncomfortable. I tug my finger under my collar again.

"If?" Savannah whispers.

"If you love me, too," I say, then clear my throat.

"You love me?" she asks, as if it's the most outrageous thing in the world.

"Yes, I fucking love you." I snap. "Why do you think I stayed away?"

Savannah fish mouths it for a few seconds, then seems to catch up with what I'm telling her. "Wha... what? Are you joking? I thought you stayed away because you didn't love me, you buffoon!"

"Buffoon?" I exclaim. "I tell you that I love you and you call me a buffoon."

We stare at one another, our breathing labored, our expressions frustrated for a long moment, and then Savannah's lips soften into a tiny smile.

"You love me?"

I nod.

"You love love me?" she asks and I'm starting to think she's enjoying this.

"Yes. Christ. Can you please say something, Savannah!"

"You love me," she says, this time as a statement.

Heaven help me, I need her to give me some damn indication of what she is thinking before I lose my mind.

"Ryder." She leans forward and takes my hands. "Why have you stayed away? I needed you."

"Because I thought it was the right thing to do. I'm your bodyguard." I take her hand, fighting the urge to pull her onto my lap, but she's all glammed up, and that dress is worth more than my house.

Probably.

"You saved my life," Savannah says.

I shake my head.

"You saved my life, Ryder," she insists. "You nearly broke my heart, but you saved me that day. Aidan told me how you worked it out and that's why you came over."

You nearly broke my heart.

"I can't be in the shadows again, Savannah. I can't watch you and not tell the world you're mine. I'm not that man. I'm possessive and dominant and I want you in my arms, on my arm, and in my fucking bed." I growl.

Her eyes glisten and hope springs inside of me.

"I don't care," she says.

Wow, that wasn't the response I was after.

I sit back, shocked.

"I don't care what you do or have done or what anyone thinks," Savannah says, her eyes filling with tears. "All I want is you." She starts waving her hand in front of her face. "Damn you Ryder St. James. I'm going to wreck my makeup."

"Fuck your makeup." I growl and tug her onto my lap.

Then I slam my mouth down on hers. Her lips part and my tongue slides in, claiming what I've craved and missed for too many weeks.

Savannah wraps her arms around my neck tightly and our kiss deepens.

"God, I want you. I want to sink my cock inside you and remind you who you belong to."

"I know," she moans against my mouth. "And in about fifteen minutes, so will the world."

I grin.

Mission accomplished.

Savannah Sinclair is mine.

––––––––

SHE WON. SAVANNAH won the Golden Globe for the best actress. Now, after six hours of media interviews and celebrating at all the after-parties, I finally have her all to myself.

As expected, there were a lot of questions about who I was when we stepped out onto the red carpet. Savannah ignored them and simply stared up into my eyes as she placed her hand on my pec possessively.

Mine remained in the small of her back.

Finally, I can touch her in public and finally, I can call this woman mine.

When her name was called out, announcing her as the winner, Savannah leaped up and then kissed me in front of millions of people.

Fuck, I was proud.

"We look gorgeous together." Savannah sighs, swiping her Instagram as the limousine takes us home.

"We look hotter when you're riding my cock," I say, sliding my hand up her skirt.

She giggles but spreads her legs.

Just like everyone else admiring it, I agree that her dress is hot. But right now, I would appreciate it much more on the floor. Or anywhere else as I try to find my way under it. Savannah giggles as I struggle, but I eventually slide my fingers inside her and join her in a moan as she clenches around them.

I need to make love to this woman right goddamn now.

Finally, we pull up to the house.

"Thank god," I say and kiss the cheeky smile off her face. "Inside. Upstairs. Naked. Right now."

"Yes sir." She salutes me.

I let out a growl.

"I'll teach you to play a sexy little soldier another time if you want to role play." Then I slap her bottom as she skips inside the house.