CHAPTER FOURTEEN

SAVANNAH

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God, I love New York.

There's something about this place. The vibe, the buzz, the enormity. The fans are different somehow and so is the media.

They give us a little more space, but Manhattan is more compact that LA, so it still feels intense.

Ryder is amazing, keeping me in his personal space and guiding me to where I need to go. He's this huge, gorgeous, muscular man who watches me with an intensity that's mixed with desire.

Perhaps others notice, but then again, he's not the only man looking at me that way.

What I do notice is that everyone else gets a very different Ryder than I do. He's intimidating, threatening, and demands attention.

People move.

They stay back.

My lady bits clench as I observe his personal power and the way he protects me. It's his job, I know, but after having his mouth between my legs, I find it a little hard to just see him as my bodyguard.

Despite him refusing to kiss me.

I still want him to. I'm just not going to ask him again. Then he held my hand on the jet while I was nervous, and my stupid little heart fluttered.

We check our bags at the hotel, and my team and I prepare for me to be on the Tonight Show.

I don't know where Ryder is, but two of the Black Hawke Security team came with us, so they are stationed outside the door.

All I know is he'll be back in an hour.

"What happened yesterday?" Briar asks as she leans her hip against the desk.

I'm nibbling on some carrots and celery.

Ryder warned me not to tell anyone about the stalker notes, because it could be someone I know. Which is incredibly uncomfortable, as it makes me distrust everyone.

So I stick to what I can tell her.

"Selena didn't get the promo approved before putting me on the spot yesterday. I was furious. I overreacted."

"You hid it well." She shakes her head. "Man, that woman is nuts."

Briar has been a great assistant for the past few years. She needs no guidance and just gets shit done. I really hope it's not her.

I'm almost positive it's not. I can't see why she would. There's no motive that I can see.

We had a private talk when I employed Gina, and I shared that I felt a responsibility to help my friend. She took her under her wing and taught her.

I was so grateful.

Now I'm not sure if the two of them get along. Enough to do their job, but I can't help but feel Gina is a disruptor to my team.

I suppose I'm not dealing with it, because she's the only person in my life who isn't—outwardly—hating me for being successful.

Unlike my family.

"Actress, remember." I smile and crunch on another carrot.

What I wouldn't do for a plate of nachos right now, but when you are about to go on TV, the last thing you need is a few extra pounds for everyone to talk about for the next week.

Briar chuckles. "Good point. Luis freaked out."

"Did he?"

Oh, no. I am not proud of how I reacted. I don't consider myself a diva, but it can't have been a good look in hindsight.

She nods. "Kept asking what could have happened and what Ryder would do."

I frown. "What did you tell him?"

Luis works for Ricco and is so quiet I barely speak to him. He's all starry-eyed most of the time. It's still weird that people react like that when...I'm just me.

"That you were just a dramatic Hollywood star." Briar smirks.

I laugh. "Good answer. Maybe it's true."

She shrugs. "We can all be dramatic, I guess, and you have a lot of shit to deal with in this new fame."

"And that's why I love you, Briar," I whisper.

She sees much more than anyone else—except my bodyguard and manager—and is someone I can rely on.

I realize, as I munch the carrot, that I do share a lot of things with her.

Maybe I shouldn't? Ugh, I hate second guessing everyone.

But while I have her attention, and everyone is distracted, I take the time to talk to her.

"And Gina? How did she react?" I ask.

Her eyes drift away.

I wait.

"I think she just went home," Briar says diplomatically.

Of course, she's not going to say anything bad about my friend. I feel bad about putting her on the spot.

But then I realize something else. Gina never messaged me to ask how I was. Then again, I did snap and ask everyone to get out. Still, wouldn't a true friend check in to see if you are okay?

It's becoming clearer every day that I am her boss now and not a friend. I probably have more of a friendship with Briar than I do with Gina.

Speak of the devil.

She walks into the room looking a little disheveled and with a grin on her face.

"Hey," I call out.

"Hi," Gina says and plonks down onto the bed. "What have I missed?"

Briar stares at her for a moment. "Did you get those documents printed for me?"

Gina leaps up. "Shit. I will go do that now."

So what was she doing?

Briar doesn't look at me, but I can see the judgment as she bites her bottom lip to stop from saying something and picks up her tablet.

"Everything going okay?" I finally ask.

"Uh, huh. Yup," Briar says, nodding but still not meeting my eyes.

God. I need to deal with this.

"Okay, so are we going with the nude dress or the black?" My stylist, Ellie, asks, holding up both of them.

"Can we normalize calling them tan instead of nude? What even is a nude dress?" Briar snorts.

"This." Ellie wiggles the dress and laughs.

"Black," I reply quickly as my phone rings. "Hi Nick."

"Are we doing dinner after the show?"

"Sure. Are we meeting anyone else?" I ask both him and Briar.

She shakes her head as Nick says no.

"Tomorrow you have the E-News interview and lunch with Dario and Melinda," Briar whispers.

Dario and Melinda, or Delinda, as they're known in the media, are the latest American sweethearts. I met them last year at the Grammys and we immediately became friends.

When I told my mom and sister, Ivy, over dinner the following week, they both rolled their eyes at me.

"People like that aren't real friends." Mom told me. "You should spend more time with Gina outside of work."

"I see her every day." I shook my head.

"Well, maybe if you hung out socially, you'd meet more friends and be closer. Maybe she feels taken advantage of?" Ivy said.

I had dropped my fork.

"I've been on set for six months making a movie. Do you think I can just take a day off? It doesn't work like that." I snapped. "And Gina is earning twice what she did as a corporate assistant."

More than Briar, which I now regret.

She held her hands up, glancing at Mom. "I'm just saying. You're earning way more than her, so it's got to be uncomfortable."

"Did Gina she say that?"

Ivy shrugged.

"Ivy. Did Gina say that?" I demanded.

"She said you don't let her date Hollywood men."

Oh, my god.

"For a reason. They would just use her."

"You sound jealous to me." Ivy shrugged again.

"You don't know what you're talking about, Ivy." I tossed my napkin on the table.

"Savannah. Stop it. Don't come into my home with your Hollywood superstar routine and think you can bully your sister around." Mom slammed her hand on the table.

"What? Are you kidding me?" I had pushed my plate away. "They're talking crap behind my back, and you expect me to be okay with it?"

"Well, are they wrong?" She lifted a brow. "You are a multi-millionaire. Gina works very hard for you. Maybe you could show her some respect."

My brows shot to the roof of my head.

"Respect? I gave her a job when she lost hers. She—" I pushed my chair back and zipped my lips.

I couldn't tell them she wasn't doing a very good job or had a crush on Nick that was bordering on inappropriate—not that he'd think so—and that I'd only intervened to save her from being hurt.

Perhaps I crossed the line and should have just let her live and learn.

I was trying to be a friend.

I like Nick as a fellow actor, but I wouldn't want any of my friends sleeping with him. He goes through more women than I do tampons.

"She?" Ivy prompted.

"Forget it. I tried to do the right thing and now none of you are happy. Still."

"Maybe she feels like she has to stay. You could have just helped her out financially. You could have helped a few people out, but you haven't," Ivy said.

Wow.

Every time we got together, it always ended the same way. On the topic of money. I'd had a lot of guilt to start with, but after some very good advice from Michelle and my costars, they all said the same thing: wait.

Wait until you give any of your money away.

Time has a way of showing people's true colors.

The truth was the same people demanding money from me were the ones who'd told me growing up I was a daydreamer with no talent.

So fuck you was never far from the tip of my tongue. The more they expected it and asked for it, the more I dug my heels in.

"Fuck that, you owe nobody nothing," Nick had said.

"But you bought your mom a house," I said to him.

"Because she put me through acting school and every day encouraged me to follow my dreams," he said. "Very different from your experience."

"They'll hate me." I sighed.

"Then they don't love you." He'd wrapped his arm around me and let me cry on his shoulder that day during the filming of the second movie. "Love doesn't require payment."

For all his faults, Nick was a supportive friend.

"I'm leaving." I'd said to my mom and sister that day, then grabbed my bag and walked out the door.

I haven't spoken to my mom and sister since. Mom ignored my call earlier in the week when I rang to tell her about the Golden Globes nomination. But she'd know by now. The announcement came out this morning.

Surprise, surprise, no text or call to congratulate me.

"Do you want to join Dario, Melinda, and me for lunch tomorrow?" I ask Nick.

"I can't. I'm catching up with a cousin in the Hamptons." He tells me, then I hear him mumble yes on my way. "Got to go. See you in an hour at the Tonight Show."

He hangs up as I turn to see Ryder step into the room. I catch myself before I let out some inappropriate sexual groan.

It's just under my skin.

Good lord, he's so handsome I can barely handle it.

He's changed since I last saw him.

My eyes run down the length of him and take in the black designer suit which fits him like a glove—which is a miracle given the breadth of his shoulders. Underneath, he wears a black shirt.

I spot a heavy watch on his wrist.

Handsome isn't a strong enough word.

"Jesus, he's hot," Briar whispers, saying what's on my mind.

I nod slowly.

Everyone in the room is thinking the same thing. Even the men, I'm sure of it.

Ryder tugs on his shirt cuffs and his eyes find mine, then simmer like a slow burning flame. I'm certain this man is going to be the death of me.

If only he would damn well kiss me.