Chapter 3

Letters exchanged between Benjamin and Sarah, February 1861

February 1st, 1861

Dear Sarah,

Very little happened on the journey back home, and I applaud myself for not falling down dead from seasickness as I did on the boat to England. Papa was relieved to find the farm in good order, having been under the management of his foreman, a capable man named Tom Shaw, and the whole operation overseen by our neighbour, Robert Ellis, who is also brother to my uncle Jasper's wife. So you see, Papa needn't have worried quite so much.

However, worry he does, especially with recent developments in the southern states of America. You may know perhaps that the election of President Abraham Lincoln in November of last year has precipitated the secession from the Union of several states in the south, the latest one being Louisiana. This is all to do with Lincoln's opposition to the spread of slavery into the new territories. It seems the protection of that dreadful practice of enslaving other human beings is the reason why several states in the south have decided to secede.

What this will mean for us, I hardly know, but rumours are rife that a war between the Union and the seceded states is brewing. Despite these rumours, everything here is calm and peaceful—the most pressing matters on people's minds are how long this current frost will last and what it will mean for our crops.

One thing that is different since our return is that now Daniel is no longer here, Papa has required me to learn more about the business side of things. I have been like his shadow, following him about as he meets with bankers, investors and grain merchants on his trips to town. It is a strange turn of events. As the second son, I never expected to acquire such responsibilities. Daniel was always the one at Papa's side, the heir to all this magnificence. And now, as we discussed, all this has changed.

I am not sure what to think of this change in my fortunes, though I will heed your advice and try to make the best of what I have been given. I do not want to disappoint Papa, who has built this estate from the ground up and wants to pass it on to his progeny, but neither do I know if I am truly cut out to be a gentleman farmer. I have found the business negotiations tedious, even though I see how important they are to our prosperity. Perhaps in time, I will become more accustomed to my new position.

I have thought much of you, Sarah, and wondered how you are. Have there been any further developments with regards to Mr T? Forgive me, but I have discovered the identity of the man for whom you have romantic feelings. You see, on New Year's Eve, we played a game of questions and commands, and I had the bright idea of commanding everyone to tell who they had kissed in their life so far. It was then that Grace confessed she had kissed Mr T at the Christmas ball, and I soon put it all together, guessing that it was the two of them you caught in an illicit embrace. I did not wish to mention it to you during our last walk, for fear of causing embarrassment, but now with the distance of an ocean between us, I wanted you to know that I know. I hope that you will be able to be candid with me in your correspondence. I do like the idea of our friendship knowing no bounds. Tell me whatever it is you are doing or thinking, with no fear of judgement. In return, I will regale you with unvarnished tales of my adventures. How about that?

So, in the spirit of frankness, let me tell you that since my return, I have embarked on a dalliance with a young lady named Chastity Hewitt. She is the youngest of three sisters whose family runs the general store in the village nearby and quite the minx—the antithesis of her name. Let me hasten by saying that this is no love affair, for neither of us have our hearts engaged in the matter. It is simply a little piece of harmless fun between the two of us. She came by the other day with a delivery of sugar and smoked fish, and I cleverly managed to spirit her to an empty barn to have my wicked way. How is that for forthrightness? I hope you are not shocked. No, I do not think you can be, for I feel that under your bluestocking exterior, you have an understanding of what draws men and women to each other.

And on that note, I will end this first letter. Write to me soon, for I am keen to know your news.

Your good friend,

Benjamin Stanton

28th February, 1861

Dear Benjamin,

I was so glad to receive your letter and to hear of your safe return home. You guessed right. It is indeed Mr Templeton for whom I hold a candle, hopeless though it might be. Do not worry though. I am not much dismayed that you have learned my secret, for now I have someone with whom I can talk with complete candour about it. It is a relief to be able to speak freely on this matter, for even though my brother and Benedict may have an inkling of my feelings for Mr Templeton, they will not ever speak of it unless I instigate the conversation. You are also right to say that the physical distance between us makes it easier to be frank, for I am not sure I would be quite this forthright with you in person! So please do keep writing and regaling me with all your unvarnished thoughts and adventures—I will endeavour to do the same.

I am not much shocked to hear of your dalliance with this Chastity Hewitt—it is the kind of thing many young men take the opportunity to do with women of loose morals—though that is not to say that I approve of such lewd behaviour. I hope you have a care as to what may be the consequences should this wretched girl ever become with child after you have had your wicked way with her. Now I will stop with the hectoring, for you are free to do as you please, and it is not my place to chastise you. Do not, I beg, refrain from being frank with me for fear that I may judge or prose to you about what you should be doing.

As for my news, there is little to report. I have not had the good fortune to be in Mr Templeton's company except on Sundays at church. I sit at my usual pew seat from which I can have a clear view of his handsome profile. To my shame, I spend the church service with my mind filled with thoughts of him rather than on the excellent sermon that Benedict is no doubt preaching. As soon as the service is over, I make sure to be in Mr Templeton's path as he negotiates his way out. Thus he has no choice but to acknowledge me—which he always does with a most pleasing manner. I must tell you, Benjamin, that the moment when he approaches me is wonderfully exciting, sending my pulse racing and my heart pounding. Then it is all over, and I must wait another week until I see him again.

Writing this, I am struck by how piteous I sound, grasping at what little crumbs are thrown my way. It is not an enviable state of affairs. Often after my encounters with Mr Templeton, I wonder what it would be like to be held in the embrace of a loving husband and to feel his lips on mine. How would it feel to join my body with a man who loves me and to fulfil our conjugal passion? Dear friend, you will not, I hope, mind my sharing with you the unvarnished, sad truth of my imaginings. Perhaps with your dalliances, you have had experience of what it is I am yearning for. But I think not. It is quite one thing to embrace someone you love and another to embrace one you are simply dallying with.

There, now you know the truth of it all between me and Mr Templeton. However, I do not want you to think I spend my days pining for what is not to be. In fact, you will be glad to know that I have remembered those words of Seneca you recited to me the night of the ball. I endeavour to live in the present and not have a care as to what the future may bring. While I may at times yearn for more, I am not unhappy. I have beyond what is adequate for my needs and live comfortably, which is more than can be said for many people in this world.

I must tell you also, while I remember, that your older brother has been everything that is kind and generous to Ambrose and me. Every Sunday, he invites us to partake of lunch with him, and he has given me free use of the vast library of Stanton Hall. He has also been so very considerate of Ambrose, who has been laid low with the influenza but is now thankfully recovered. The young ladies of Stanton Harcourt are all vying for his attention. I have not, however, noticed him show partiality for anyone.

Do correct me if I am wrong, but I believe it must have been a trial for you to grow up in the shadow of an elder brother so assured and gifted as he, and moreover one who would one day inherit not just a title but a vast patrimony. Ambrose tells me, in the most admiring of tones, that Daniel is a brilliant linguist, having mastery of Latin, French and German, and that he excelled in his studies at Yale. Dear Benjamin, such a paragon of a brother must be hard to live up to! I should know, for I have experienced this very thing myself with Ambrose, whose achievements I could never match.

And now you are being asked to step into his shoes. I sense your reservations about the new role you have been given. In your mind, you had set your sights on a different future than the one now being laid before you. To this, dear friend, I counsel patience. I do understand your desire to work in the field of engineering, for I too share this interest. I can think of nothing better than working as a railway engineer (or railroad, as you call it in America). Imagine designing new locomotives or overseeing the construction of suspension bridges, or even engineering new railway lines on difficult terrain and helping to bring remote areas of the country within easy reach. How admirable!

All this and more could still be ahead of you, though perhaps not immediately. You are still very young. I say this as one who is three years your senior—if you do not mind me bringing up the difference in our ages. In time, you may find a capable person to manage your lands for you, much as Ambrose manages the Stanton lands, and to turn your attention towards these other pursuits. Patience, my friend. Write to me soon.

Your friend,

Sarah Cranshaw

P.S. The situation you describe regarding the secession of the southern states is concerning. I do hope a war can be averted, though I do not think that the evil of slavery can be allowed to spread. My thoughts and prayers are with you.