Chapter 9

Sarah

"One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives."

―Euripides

August, 1863

Sarah entered the church on her brother's arm and ran her eye over the pews for a sighting of Mr Templeton. There he was, in his usual place on the aisle of the fifth row. She followed Ambrose to their own seats three rows behind Mr Templeton, to his left. From there was a good vantage point for her to watch him.

She settled herself down for her favourite pastime of the week—observing the handsome Mr Templeton. This was a fixed feature of her life from which she had not deviated in five years. Why should she? It was not as if Mr Templeton had any great competition in the narrow confines of Stanton Harcourt society. In the unchanging and dull village life she led—quite apart from her scientific pursuits at home, that is—he was often the only source of entertainment. Thus, she sat through the service, listening to Benedict's sermon while at the same time casting her eyes on Mr Templeton's fine form.

Sarah sometimes felt as if she were living two lives. In the privacy of her own room at night, she took out Benjamin's letters, re-reading them often and getting caught up in a whirlwind discovery of her own passionate self through the secrets they had shared. Then day came, and she turned back into the prim spinster that admired the handsome Mr Templeton from afar as she had always done. He remained in pride of place when it came to Sarah's affections, at least of all the men she knew in England.

Once the service was over, she rose to her feet and slowly made her way to the aisle, timing it perfectly so that she came upon Mr Templeton on his path out of church. He gave her a cordial smile. "Miss Cranshaw, a pleasure."

"Mr Templeton," she said smoothly, "how do you do? Are we to see you at the Stanton soirée next Thursday?" She knew full well the answer to this, as her friend, Isabella Stanton, had shared with her the guest list for the soirée she and Daniel were hosting at Stanton Hall. It was to be a dinner, followed by a piano and singing recital of a musical piece by the American composer Henry Clay Work called Kingdom Coming, which celebrated the liberation of slaves from their Confederate owners and the Confederacy's defeat in the civil war. It was wishful thinking, for the war still raged on, with no side claiming victory as yet. However, both Daniel and Isabella Stanton were keen to have this piece performed, their way perhaps of supporting the Union from afar.

"Of course," replied Mr Templeton. "I would not miss it. I take it, Miss Cranshaw, that you and Mr Cranshaw will be in attendance?"

"Yes, indeed we shall," she said, her heart beating fast at his nearness. "It promises to be an interesting musical piece. I am told the lyrics are written in the plantation creole dialect and tell the story of slaves emancipating themselves from their owners as the Union army marches in."

"Quite the dramatic piece! I look forward to it and to renewing my acquaintance with your delightful self," drawled Mr Templeton, his lips quirking into a knowing smile at seeing the flush rise to her cheeks. She should not read much into it, for he was always like this with the ladies. Though she did wonder if the look he had given her was an indication that he knew of her feelings for him.

She managed to respond, as calmly as it was possible, "As do I, Mr Templeton. Good day."

He bowed. "Good day, Miss Cranshaw, Mr Cranshaw." With a final smile, he continued on his way.

She felt Ambrose lace his arm through hers and guide her away from the church, towards the waiting carriage. He assisted her up into it, and a moment later, they were joined by Daniel and Isabella. Soon, they were on their way to Stanton Hall. Not long after, Sarah became aware of Daniel's stare from across the carriage. She raised a brow in query. "What is it, Daniel? Why do you stare at me so?" she asked, familiar enough now with his company to speak directly.

"I am wondering whether or not it is appropriate to enquire…" He did not complete the sentence.

"What did you wish to enquire about?"

He sighed. "I have eyes, Sarah. I received a one-page letter from my brother that contained very little information apart from the fact that he is alive and in good health. Whereas you received a thick packet that must have included at least three or four sheets." He looked away in pained frustration. "I do not mean to pry. Your correspondence with him is your business. Yet… I would wish to know more."

"You are quite right when you say that my correspondence with Benjamin is my business alone," she said gently.

He nodded vehemently. "I understand. Forgive me. I simply wanted to know how my brother truly is. He will not tell me."

She looked down at her clasped hands. The truth was, she had been struck by the bitter tone of Benjamin's last letter. He had sounded weary and disenchanted, understandably so after the events he had recounted. But she could not share any of this with Daniel, not without betraying Benjamin's confidence. Before she could speak, Ambrose interjected on her behalf, "Daniel, you are putting my sister in a difficult position, and you know it. You are making her pit her loyalty to your brother against her friendship with you. That is unfair."

"What is unfair is that my brother, my own flesh and blood, is shutting me out of his life!" flashed Daniel.

"Oh Daniel," commiserated Sarah. "He does not mean to do so, but like it or not, before going to enlist in this war, there were expectations put upon him."

"What on earth do you mean?" retorted Daniel sharply.

"Goodness me, I expressed that badly. Let us just say that Benjamin felt that he had to present a certain face to all of you, irrespective of what he truly felt. I hope it is not breaking too much of his confidence to tell you this. In his last letter to me before he left home, he wrote that henceforth, he would have to present a cheerful front to his family in his letters, to spare them from hurt and worry about him. And with regards to you, Daniel, there was the added wish not to show you any weakness on his part."

"And to you he can show his true self?" Daniel murmured, sounding crestfallen.

Sarah let her silence be her answer.

"Why?"

"We all know why!" Isabella now spoke, wiping a tear that had slipped from her eye. "Ever since I can remember, there has been a rivalry between the two of you."

"I never—" spluttered Daniel, but Sarah interrupted him.

"It was never anything you purposely did, Daniel, but for too long, your brother has lived in your shadow, your achievements and talents always seemingly greater than his. Is it surprising that now, at this most difficult time for him, he does not want to betray any weakness to you?"

Daniel rubbed his eyes and looked away, but not before Sarah saw the stricken expression on his countenance. Ambrose, who was on the seat beside him, put a hand to his shoulder. "Do not be too hard on yourself," he spoke gently. "Perhaps once Benjamin is back from the war, you may clear the air with him."

Daniel nodded. In a voice thick with emotion, he stated, "I must take this to mean that all is not well with him."

"War is by necessity an ugly business," spoke Sarah, careful of her words. "You must know that the Union and Confederate armies engaged in a battle at Gettysburg last month, and that both sides suffered many fatalities—in the tens of thousands if the newspaper reports are to be believed. And also that your childhood friend, Jimmy, was one of the deceased."

"Yes, I know." Daniel's voice was a harsh whisper.

"Then you have your answer. That is all I will say on the matter."

The carriage stopped then and brought the conversation to a natural end. Ambrose leaned out of the window to open the door and jumped down, ready to assist the ladies out. As they made their way up the front steps of Stanton Hall, Daniel came to Sarah's side and said in a quiet, urgent voice, "Pardon me, Sarah. It was ill-mannered of me to ask. I am glad Benjamin has you as his friend."

"I am glad of his friendship too. And Daniel, please also know this. In his letters, it is clear how much Benjamin cares for you and all his family."

Daniel nodded, and then, the subject was closed.