Chapter 18

Grace woke on Christmas morning to a small pile of presents on her dressing table. There was a posy of flowers from Frances, a guidebook of Wales from Arabella with a note inside asking her to consider a tour of Wales, an embroidered handkerchief from Serena, a cane from Julia, which she was afraid to touch in case it was armed with a weapon, a shell from Florry, a painting of Venice from Lydia and a scarf made from the family tartan from Alice.

She appreciated the thought that had gone into the gifts and hoped that her girls enjoyed what she had chosen for them. When dressed, she quickly ate a small repast before going to William's room. On entering, she smiled at him.

"I see you have been blessed with presents too."

"I did not expect any of them," William said.

"They are good girls."

"Yes, they are, and I am glad you have forgiven them for their foolish matchmaking."

Grace sat in her usual chair. "I have. None of us is without fault. I am afraid I have not much to give you – except this." She handed him a small notebook, heart pounding at what he would think of the present. She had tossed and turned about giving it to him, for it would reveal secrets that she had kept hidden from everyone.

William opened the notebook and stilled. Grace's hands began to sweat, thinking that she had completely misread their situation and did not know how to make light of it.

Eventually, William looked at her. "You kept them."

"I did not think you would remember."

"Of course I do, I recall every moment of every day with you, Grace. It has haunted my days and my nights. These are the violets I picked for you on our first official outing when I finally plucked up the courage to ask to court you." One of his long fingers delicately traced the fragile, pressed petals.

"They are." Grace was so relieved that he had remembered. It meant so much that he had, and it made her realise yet again that it had not been just her hurting because of the decisions they had made.

"They have been with you all these years?"

"Yes, I have carried them with me wherever I am."

"To remind you how much I let you down?" William's tone was teasing, but his eyes were as serious as she had ever seen them.

"We let each other down, but no, I did not carry them for that reason. I could not forget the time with you, for it was the happiest I have ever experienced."

"Grace, are you sure it is not the magic of the season or that we have been forced together to make you look back with fondness?"

"Not at all. I have hidden my feelings ever since we said goodbye, and it is time I was honest with myself and you, but I understand that yours might have changed."

"Did I not mention us marrying some time ago?" William asked. "Of course, my feelings have not changed; they never did after the anger and hurt had settled into a dull pain."

"Do not make me feel worse than I already do." Grace did not care if it was inappropriate to speak so openly; she had decided that she was done with not being honest with herself and those around her.

"We were both fools. I should have listened to what you wanted. It is not unreasonable for a young woman to need to feel secure."

"Are we going to spend the morning each taking the blame for what we did or did not do? I am quite happy to stop at this point when you have confessed that you were at fault."

William chuckled. "I suppose you thought me brutish enough not to bring you a gift?"

"I never considered for one moment that you would."

"That is reasonable, but just so you know, I made this for you especially. It has more embellishment than anything else I make, but I had to give you a special gift; nothing else felt good enough."

"You are saying that to make me feel even worse when you know full well that I had not planned to give you the flowers, you brute."

Laughing at her, he indicated that she should open his top drawer. "That was not my motivation at all. In fact, your gift is more precious to me than anything else I own. Please take the parcel out of the top drawer and be careful; it is fragile."

Grace did as she was bid, smiling when she pulled the drawer open. "I did not expect to be rummaging through your breeches."

"I expected to be able to give it to you myself, then events overtook me. I knew I should have rung for a maid," William muttered.

Grinning at him, Grace lifted the parcel out and took it to the side of the bed. Sitting on the chair, she placed the parcel on the bed and tugged the string loose, unwrapping the brown paper. The object was swaddled in tissue paper, and as it was revealed, Grace took a sharp intake of breath.

"It is beautiful," she whispered. Holding the box up, she marvelled at the blue enamel, which changed shade as the light landed on it. The corners and edges were in gold gilt, and the clasp on the front matched the intricate work on the gilding. "You made this?"

"For you," William said. He brought her attention to the key at the back. "Turn that and put the box on the bed."

Grace did as instructed, and her eyes widened as music played; the top of the box moved in a smooth twisting motion, and three little birds rose to the surface, all tweeting in time to the music, beaks opening and closing and wings flapping.

Both of them watched the spectacle, and when the key had wound down, the birds sank into the box, and the lid closed over them. The fitting was so precise that the opening could not be seen once the movement was completed.

"I have never seen anything so exquisite in my life," Grace whispered. "Beautiful does not describe how wonderful it is."

"I am glad you like it," William said, a smile in his voice. "I have never put three birds together. It has always been too hard to get the mechanics working in time with each other, but I was determined to make it work for you."

"Oh, William, it is a work of art, thank you."

William flushed. "There is something else inside the box, but do not feel pressured into accepting it."

Grace wondered what could beat what she had just seen, so she opened the box gingerly. There was a single piece of parchment inside, folded neatly though it was so large as to fill the box. Taking it out, she flashed a confused glance towards William and was a little concerned at the worry etched on his features.

Opening the parchment, which had a grand seal on it, it took a moment to sink in what it was that she was reading. Eventually, she looked up at William, mixed emotions raging through her insides. "It is a special licence," she said.

"It is."

"But I did not expect… How did you get it? Why did you get it?"

"Have I erred? I can only apologise if I have."

Grace laughed, but there were tears in her eyes. "Erred? No! I am surprised, that is all."

"I have been carrying that licence around with me since you came back into my life when I took over guardianship for Julia."

"That was years ago!" Grace's emotions felt like a stampede in her chest. She was beginning to feel a little dizzy at what was being said.

"I know. I had determined that I would get back in touch with you when I had made an acceptable amount of money and had a good annual income." William was babbling, needing to let out what had been kept inside for too long. "Then the news came that my brother and his wife had died. I knew Julia needed me, and I could not be so selfish as to leave her to her own devices when she was hurting so much. Then she joined the Bluestocking Club, and I thought it was a situation that was heaven-sent; I had contact with you, Julia loved you, and all would be well."

"And then all I did was growl at you and throw accusations in your direction."

"Do not forget the snide comments."

Grace glowered at him. "I seem to recall you gave as good as you got."

"I did, but inside, I always tried to convince myself that one day we would overcome this and clear up the misunderstandings, and I wanted to be ready when that happened. My father had a connection who was a good friend of the Archbishop of Canterbury. I contacted him, and he was happy to issue the licence. I just wanted to show you that I have always been sincere. I know it is completely out of date, but I do not mind trying to obtain another, although the archbishop I had contact with died years ago."

Grace burst out laughing. "I never thought you could be so outrageous!"

"You have to admit that my foresight has paid off. It took a little longer than I would have liked, but the sentiment is still the same."

"What happens now?"

"I think this is the moment when I would stand and take your hands in mine and declare myself, but as that will not be possible for some time, I need to improvise a little," William said.

"Do not do anything that will cause you pain," Grace said quickly when William used his arms to push himself up the bed a little. Moving to straighten his pillows and adjust his blankets, it was a few moments before she sat back down.

"Why does every movement exhaust me?" William ground out. "I am as weak as a babe, and this is not good enough. Who is going to continue working in my workshop while I cannot move? It is a blasted inconvenience."

"It sounds like you are feeling tired and discomfited. Why not leave this conversation until later? It will wait."

"Oh no, I want this sorting before anything else happens. We have waited five and twenty years for this, and if I get the answer I have wished for every day of those years, then I want to hear it now."

"I would give you an answer willingly, but you have not asked the question yet." Grace smiled at him.

William growled at her, making her chuckle, but then he set his shoulders as best he could in his position of disadvantage. "Grace, my one true love. Would I be asking too much if I beg, for the second time, that you consider being my wife? I can give you a good lifestyle, but I am no longer whole, so I would understand if…" He stopped speaking when Grace put a finger to his lips.

"I will not have you saying anything so ridiculous as you are not whole," she scolded gently. "If I am to marry you, William Marsh, it is because I love you dearly and not because I feel pity or obligation. I have only ever wanted to marry one man, and though he has many faults, he is the only one I could ever truly love, and one day I hope he believes it."

"I am a little confused, for you have not actually said yes yet."

"Yes! Of course it is a yes, you ninnyhammer! I have waited for you to renew your addresses for far too long. I might have been foolish in the past, but I have learned my lesson. I will marry you whenever you wish."

William gently pulled Grace so her body lay nestled against his own. "Thank God you said yes," he said before taking her face in his hands and kissing her.

They had kissed when they were together the first time, but those had been kisses of innocents, full of hope for the future. These were passionate, loving kisses between two people who knew they had found the one to love and cherish for as long as they had together.

"What if someone comes in?" Grace said, breaking one of the kisses.

"I do not care if the whole household sees us like this. I want you near me for the rest of my days," William said, kissing her cheeks and the tip of her nose before moving towards her lips once more.

"That is good to know, for I have wanted to climb into bed with you for an age now." She did not care that she sounded brazen; it was time to get what she wanted from life without being confined as she had so far.

"That, my sweet Grace, is music to my ears," William said, helping her to snuggle in beside him before kissing her once more.