Chapter 15

The conversation between Julia and William was not an experience either enjoyed. William seemed calm until Julia acknowledged that Julian's scheme had been a ruse to encourage William into action.

"I will kill the damned cur!" he growled, moving as if to climb out of bed. Both women responded with alarm at his actions.

"Uncle, please!" Julia pleaded. "You will hurt yourself!"

"I will hurt him if I get my hands on him!" William scowled at his niece.

"You are in no fit state to do anything," Grace said. "It does not matter. I turned him down before I knew it had been a false offer."

"What if you had said yes?" William demanded. "What if you had fallen for the pompous buffoon? How could he pull such a damned cruel trick?"

"I did not say yes, though, did I?"

"I thought you were going to," William said, not quite meeting Grace's eyes.

"Then you do not know me as much as you claim to," Grace said, folding her arms. "I might not have realised it was an insincere proposal, but I was intelligent enough to know that it was not the marriage for me."

"He still deserves a beating for using you so ill."

"I will survive the experience," Grace said with a twitch of her lips. "I doubt you would be able to challenge him to a fight."

"Because I am not a complete man any longer?"

"Of course not; it is because you are not half his build," Grace huffed. "Mr Betez has enjoyed the finer things in life, and it shows."

"Oh."

"I am sincerely sorry," Julia said. "I know it will be hard to forgive what I have done, but I thought it important that you knew it was my idea, and I pressganged those who were reluctant to go along with my plans."

"That is no surprise," William said. "That is normal behaviour for you."

"I suppose it is."

"I am angry at you for what you have done, but I understand your motivation. I have less feelings of acceptance towards Mr Betez."

"Thankfully, I had nothing to do with that," Julia said. "I will leave you be. Grace, we will respect your desire for us to keep our distance and let you have time away from us, but know that if you do wish for company or assistance, we will help in a heartbeat."

Grace nodded her head but did not say anything. As was becoming normal since she had entered Arabella's home, she felt torn. She loved each young woman and the partners they had chosen and knew without doubt that their intentions had been good, but she could not come to terms with the fact that William was so injured because of the schemes they had devised.

Julia left the room, and William glared at the part of the bed where his lower leg should have been. "I need to learn to walk, and when I do, that man is going to receive a piece of my mind."

"I want to be there," Grace said pleasantly.

"Why? Do you wish to curse him to the devil too?"

"No, I have already done so, although there were too many tears for my liking. I do not enjoy being a watering pot."

"He made you cry? I will kill him somehow; I promise you that!" William growled out once more.

"Do not do so on my account. It was because of what he has done to you that I was crying over, nothing about the proposal or how false it was." Grace was being honest about her struggles. If there was one thing she had learned, it was that being truthful was vital for her from now on. William was still not out of danger; he was very weak and slept often. The doctor assured them that he was doing as well as could be expected, and when everyone took that as a comfort, he would then tell them not to forget that it was very early days.

"Oh."

"You are tiring again. You need to sleep."

"No, I need to know why you wish to be there when I tear a strip off him."

"You are magnificent when you are angry." Grace grinned at him. She was gratified at his chuckle; it had been far too long since she had heard that sound, let alone caused it.

"Good to know."

"Now sleep, you awkward old man."

"Not as awkward as you, old woman." William closed his eyes, a smile still on his lips, and it was only moments before his breathing settled into the steady rhythm of sleep.

Grace gently held his hand, the need to be constantly in physical contact with him overriding any restraint she might have normally felt. She was happy to watch him sleep, seeing him relaxed, his handsome face seeming younger than his fifty years. "Oh William, why were we both so stubborn?" she whispered quietly to the room.

***

Christmas Eve dawned bright and crisp. The party had honoured Grace's request, and she had been left alone. It was strange spending the day with just William, knowing the house was full, but it was as if there was only the two of them.

They had heard some of the hustle and bustle as the party left the house to deliver the huge number of items to the tenants. Grace watched the carriages leave down the drive before turning back to William.

"Arabella and Michael are trying to make up for past mistakes," she said as she returned to William's side, picking up a book ready to read.

"That is a good thing to do."

"Yes." Grace was still stinging from what she had found out the previous day, but then she remembered her promise to herself before everything had been turned upside down by William's accident. "I owe you an apology. In fact, an apology is completely inadequate."

"Why?"

"As if you do not know what I am referring to, you devil. Do not act the innocent with me; you have been waiting for this day for five and twenty years!" Grace ground out, glaring at William's amusement.

His smile disappeared. "Grace Holmes, if you are uttering these words out of pity, then you can keep those lovely lips of yours closed until the end of time, for I do not want to hear it."

"You old fool, as if I would feel pity for you!" Grace said, the comment about her lips warming her insides.

"You better not, or you will be banished. I could stand a lot from you, but pity is a step too far."

"Then you have no need to worry," Grace huffed. "I am trying to apologise for being weak-willed and stupid."

"Oh, is that all?"

"I could just cover your face with a pillow, you know, and give you what you wished for not so many days ago," Grace threatened.

"I would die happy, knowing that you had finally come to your senses." Grace stood as if to leave, but William held out his hands to her. "I am sorry, forgive me, I am teasing you too much. I know this is hard for you; I will be serious."

"If only," Grace muttered, but she sat down.

"Go on," William urged.

"I should have stood up to my own parents and yours. I should have trusted that you had a plan and showed my love by believing in you. I did believe in you, but it seemed easier to be convinced that your ideas did not have merit than to argue against both sets of parents. When they were all together, they were formidable, but I should have argued more."

"The four of them spoke to you together?"

"Yes, it was terrifying."

"I had no idea they had done that; you never said. I would have prevented you from being put through such an ordeal if I had known." William looked furious and seized Grace's hand.

Not pulling away from his touch, Grace smiled. "Looking back, it was a well-planned attack. I am not sure why your parents were so keen to see us separated, but I understand my own parents' concerns."

"They knew if I had your support, then I would never relent. They were using you as the only person who they knew could change my mind."

Grace chuckled bitterly. "They miscalculated in that respect."

"No, they did not," William said with a groan.

"I do not understand."

"I was going to give everything up and go into whatever occupation they chose for me, but then you came to visit and said that you could not marry me unless I gave up my plans. It was bloody-minded of me, but hearing those words from you, I could not accept that they had got to you. Having no idea that they had ambushed you, no one could have withstood that, I took it that you did not love me enough, and anger drove my actions after that."

They fell into silence for a while, each tied up in their own thoughts. Grace was reeling from what had been revealed. All that time lost, but there was still some annoyance towards him. If he had listened to her, he should have guessed she was using the words provided by others, but then she sighed. He was not to blame; she had uttered the words, and they had both suffered as a result.

"Our parents must have congratulated themselves on their success," William said bitterly.

"My mother apologised when she knew she was dying," Grace said quietly. "She said that she was sorry that I had never found my own true love, but I had, and they had separated you from me." Feeling agitated, she moved away from William. "What an absolute disgrace! What a waste of two lives!"

"It does not have to be," William said quietly.

"You are suggesting that we marry now? What would that achieve? We are too busy arguing with each other to try to capture what we lost."

"I suppose that is a convenient excuse."

"What do you mean?" Grace asked. They had been getting on better, but there was always the danger of falling back into old habits, and she was immediately wary at the change of tone and the frown firmly in place.

"I am never going to be the man I was. I might not be able to work, depending on if I can learn to walk. I am, yet again, a risk. I understand, I really do. This time, there is no anger; I wish you all the best, Grace."

"Oh, behave yourself!" Grace said heatedly. "It has nothing at all to do with what has happened to you physically. This self-pity does you no credit."

"I cannot believe you have just said that!" William almost shouted.

"Oh, go to the devil, you fool! I am trying to drag you from falling into some sort of depression, but you are too blockheaded to see that."

"Just leave me be, Grace. You are exhausting me." William closed his eyes as if in pain.

Grace opened her mouth to speak but then shut it and moved to the door. "I will do as you ask, but I will return later to help with your meal."

Leaving the room, she leaned on the banister rail, unable to go to her own chamber before she had calmed herself a little. She had no idea that William had opened his eyes once the door had closed behind her, tears streaking down his face and onto the pillow he lay on.