Chapter Nineteen

In the end, there wasn't a choice.

As soon as Wenshu awoke and I told him and Yufei what the Empress was planning for Guangzhou, they went pale and quiet. Even

Zheng Sili, who I'd half expected to willingly hand over my hometown or at least argue why we should consider it, hadn't said

anything.

"We should head back and think about a plan on the way," Wenshu said. "It will take us a week, at least. If the Empress sees

that we're not even trying to make it back on time, she might act preemptively."

"And once we're in the palace, maybe we can look for the ring?" Yufei said.

"Yes," I said quietly, even though I doubted we'd find it.

"We're not going to die," Wenshu said, as if sensing my thoughts. "Stop looking so morose."

I glanced at Zheng Sili, who was oddly silent.

"You don't have to come," I said to him.

He looked up in surprise. "Where else am I supposed to go?" he said.

So we bought another horse, extra provisions, and by the afternoon, we were headed south toward Chang'an.

Traveling to the capital had once been my greatest dream, but now it felt like approaching my own funeral. The days spun by

all too quickly, the setting sun a mocking reminder of how little time I had left and what would happen if I didn't think

of a plan before we got there. What could I do that wouldn't put all of Guangzhou at risk? We could try to kill Gaozong, but

surely the Empress would just take that as permission to kill everyone in Guangzhou. One wrong move, and tens of thousands

of people would die.

What would the Moon Alchemist do? I thought, staring up at the fat almond of the moon as we rode closer to the capital. I tried to imagine her riding beside

me.

I wouldn't have gotten into this mess in the first place , she said in my mind. I know better than to bring the dead back.

Unless you're being threatened by the Empress, in which case you'd do it for centuries , I thought wryly.

She shot me a deeply unimpressed look. There are ways to fake death with alchemy , she said.

The Empress specified that he needs to be hanged , I thought. Public executions were usually more drawn out and torturous, but I supposed the Empress wanted to make sure I

didn't trick her—it was difficult to fake a hanging.

It's impossible to fake, not difficult, the Moon Alchemist corrected me.

I supposed I could always resurrect Wenshu into another body, but the damage would be done—the prince would be dead in the

eyes of the people, and everything would still hinge on me somehow surviving. Plus, I wasn't particularly keen on watching

my own brother get hanged.

What about the girls I sent to the convent? the Moon Alchemist said.

Yiyang and Gao'an—the Emperor's daughters by another concubine—were still safely hidden away. But Gao'an was in a coma, and

Yiyang was only a child. She could challenge my claim to the throne if she wanted to, but surely the Empress would have her

killed the moment she came out of hiding. If two highly trained alchemists couldn't even find a way to stop the Empress, how

could I expect a child to do it?

I don't think they're going to get me out of this one , I thought.

The sound of hoofbeats grew louder, and suddenly Zheng Sili was riding next to me, the image of the Moon Alchemist dissolving.

"It helps to look forward when you're riding a horse, you know," he said. "You almost trampled a pit viper."

"Sorry if I've got a lot on my mind," I said. "You know, having to hang my brother and become the Empress's eternal puppet

in a few days and all."

"Technically, you're the Empress, you know," he said.

"Don't remind me," I said, gripping the reins tighter.

"You'll have at least one day of being the Empress in the palace before Wu kills us all," Zheng Sili said. "You're not looking

forward to it?"

"No one will take my orders," I said stiffly. "Well, I could boss you around, I suppose."

"You've always done that."

"You've always done that, Empress ," I corrected him.

"Gross," Zheng Sili said, wrinkling his nose. "I refuse to call you that."

"I suppose you could call me Zilan," I said. "You know, my name?"

"Zilan," he echoed. He let out a dry laugh. "The girl with a servant's name is the Empress," he said, shaking his head in wonder. "Who would have guessed?"

"Not me," I said, turning my face to the moon.

"I guess you could call me Sili Ge, if you wanted."

"Don't make it weird."

"Right," he said quickly, nodding. "Of course." Then he straightened his shoulders. "When all this is over and Wu is dead,

I expect you to fulfill your promise and make me a royal alchemist."

"I don't think I ever actually promised that," I said, smirking. "You just assumed that I'd agreed."

It was nice, for only a moment, to imagine a way this ended in which all of us got what we wanted, everyone alive and happy,

every dream fulfilled.

"It was implied," Zheng Sili said.

"How optimistic of you, to think that you'll actually have a job at the end of all this."

"I mean, we only have one more ring to find, and we're going to its most likely location," he said. "From there, it's a straight

shot to Penglai, eternal salvation, all problems solved, right?"

I laughed sharply to hide the nervous clench in my stomach. "Yeah, that's the plan."

"And what are you going to do about the last line?"

I frowned. "The last line?"

" Together at last, the shadow makes three ," Zheng Sili said. "Please tell me we don't need to wait for a full moon or something."

"What are you talking about?" I said. "There's three stones. Isn't that all that last line means?"

Zheng Sili sighed heavily, rolling his eyes. "Sorry, I forgot you never went to school. It's a reference to a Li Bai poem,

obviously."

" Obviously? " I said. "What kind of alchemist studies poetry?"

"A well-rounded one?" he said. "It's a poem about a man drinking under the moon, all sad and lonely."

"Like you?"

He shot me a withering glare. "But he's not actually alone," he went on. "He has the moon and his shadow."

"Those hardly count as people," I said.

Zheng Sili opened his mouth to respond, but someone shouted behind us.

I looked over my shoulder, tugging on the horse's reins. Zheng Sili pulled his horse to a stop easily, but I struggled to

make mine slow down. Behind us, I could see the horses pacing, Wenshu struggling to dismount, Yufei crumpled on the ground.

Zheng Sili reached them first, hopping to the ground and turning Yufei on her back. I all but fell off my horse while trying

to dismount, catching myself on my hands in the dirt.

Zheng Sili looked up at me as I approached, Wenshu's foot still caught in the stirrup. "I think this is the same thing that

happened to your brother," he said, his expression tight.

I tried all my usual tricks to wake Yufei, but no matter how much I shook her, she remained stubbornly limp.

"We have to keep moving," Zheng Sili said after a few minutes, glancing at the horizon. "I'll ride with her."

"No, I'll do it," Wenshu said, scowling.

"You want to drop her and crack her skull like an egg?" Zheng Sili said. "What could I possibly do to your sister while on

a moving horse?"

Wenshu grumbled but relented, lifting up Yufei to pass her to Zheng Sili after he mounted his horse. We rode toward the city

once more, this time in silence.

We approached the gates of Chang'an the next day at dusk.

Zheng Sili pulled Yufei's hood over her face—explaining the Empress's sudden resurrection would be difficult when life alchemy was strictly forbidden. But Wenshu and I had no reason to hide anymore—we were heading home to die. If word got back to the Empress, all the better.

The guards at the gates of Chang'an turned to us as we strode to the front of the line on our horses. They frowned as if prepared

to scold us, but they held Wenshu's stern gaze, eyes flickering between me and him.

"Your Highness?" one of them said.

Wenshu made a gesture for him to step back and rode through the gate. The crowd murmured all around us, slowly backing away.

I remembered the first time we'd entered Chang'an, running from the guards who now cowered before us, our broken sandals sinking

into red dirt roads, only a few coins to our name. Now the crowd parted for us, the streets lighting up with whispers as we

rode toward the palace.

As we drew closer, the dirt began to darken from pale red to deep scarlet, the soil softer beneath our horses' hooves. A woman's

corpse, just beginning to rot under the hot sun, swung from the central gate as we passed beneath it.

The front gate of the palace had shattered open, the guards lying in pools of blood, their throats slit. So this was how the

Empress had "cleared the way" for us.

We dismounted once we reached the palace grounds, our feet splashing in bloody puddles. Zheng Sili and I quickly repaired

the gate with a couple waterstones. It wasn't enough to keep out any true threat, but it hardly mattered—the private army

that had laid siege to the palace was long gone.

The palace had been carved open like a gutted pig. Most of the golden brick walls of the inner courtyard were now clumps of rocks and powder, gaping open to reveal the scorched interior. On foot, we led the horses deeper into the palace, through the garden where all the prince's ducks used to live, but now there was nothing but a hole in the earth and wilted lily pads, the grass scorched yellow.

The center of the palace was in better shape, aside from the bloody footprints and the lingering smell of salt and smoke.

The Empress had killed her entire family just to live in this palace, and then she had destroyed it.

Yufei remained asleep, so Wenshu went off to find a bed to place her in. Zheng Sili took Durian off to what remained of the

western duck pond, promising to draw water up into it. I lingered by the inner courtyard and looked to the sky, where the

sun was melting into the horizon. We had one more day until Gaozong would meet me.

I tied up my horse and headed for the treasury without a word, trailing bloody footprints behind me, the ground so spongy

from blood that it felt like living, fleshy tissue beneath my feet.

I should have known by the door ripped from its hinges, but still I crossed the dark threshold, igniting three firestones

in my hand.

The treasury was empty.

Shelves had toppled over and lay in pieces on the ground. There were holes in the wall where paintings had been mounted, tables

overturned, remnants of glue where wallpaper had been torn off.

Something glinted in the darkness. I rushed forward, irrational hope swelling in my chest as I knelt down on the ground to

get a better look.

A single pearl lay in the corner, covered in dust. I clutched it between my palms and sat down heavily.

"Zilan?"

I didn't turn around, closing my eyes against the prince's voice. Footsteps drew closer.

"It's not here," I said quietly. "The private armies probably raided the palace the day they came for Yufei. It could be anywhere."

Wenshu said nothing, but I could sense him lingering behind me.

"I can try to teach Zheng Sili how to resurrect people," I said.

"In one day?" Wenshu said softly.

"I don't know if the Empress knows he's involved," I said. "Maybe he can hide for a few months, then find a way to bring us

back?"

"Zilan," Wenshu said, and I could sense the anger in his voice even if I couldn't see his face. "You mean you want to let

the Empress kill us?"

I turned around, frowning. "Of course that's not what I want ," I said. "But what else am I supposed to do?"

"You beat the Empress once," Wenshu said.

"I didn't!" I said. "Don't you see that? She only let me think that I beat her. I don't see a way out of this one, do you?"

Wenshu said nothing, his shadow stretched long in the doorway, so sad and silent that for a moment he looked exactly like

the prince.

"I can't gamble with other people's lives anymore," I said quietly, turning back to the wall. I thought of the ghost villages

trampled by private armies, the prison full of alchemists half my age, the immortals who had died for doing nothing but chasing

a dream at all costs, just like me. "This is all my fault. Maybe this is what I deserve."

Wenshu let out a sigh, then his footsteps slowly came closer until he drew to a stop behind me, paused for a moment, then shoved me to the ground.

"Hey!" I said, sitting up and turning to him. "What are you—"

" Fan Zilan ," Wenshu said. The prince's voice had never spoken to me so sternly, and the harshness of it made me flinch. "You are the

Empress of China."

"I'm not—"

"You already are," he said, his eyes blazing, "and you are giving up on your people."

"What do you expect me to—"

"If this were Empress Wu, the last thing she would do would be to roll over and die !" Wenshu said.

"Better me than our parents!" I said, tears burning down my face. "Better me than everyone in Guangzhou!"

Wenshu crossed his arms. "And what about everyone you swore to bring back?"

I shook my head, wiping my face with my sleeve, but the tears kept traitorously falling. Why was he being so cruel? "I tried—"

"You're not trying now ," Wenshu said. "You're moping."

"Am I supposed to apologize for feeling bad that people died for me?" I said, rising to my feet.

"They didn't die for you , Zilan!" he said, throwing his arms up. "Is that really what you think? Are you actually that self-absorbed? They died because

they believed in a better world than this one, not because you asked them to. They'd been planning this long before you came

along."

I shook my head. "They trusted me."

"And you ruined everything," Wenshu said, crossing his arms.

I blanched, my mind suddenly blank. "Gēgē—"

"Is that what you want me to say?" he said, his eyes dark. "You want me to help you punish yourself even more? You seem to be doing enough of that on your own."

"It's the truth."

"And so what if it is?" Wenshu said. "You tried. Now try again, and do it right this time."

I let out a sharp laugh. "You say that like it's easy."

"It's not easy," Wenshu said, "but you're Fan Zilan."

I couldn't help but smile, wiping my tears away with my sleeve. At least he hadn't said you're the Scarlet Alchemist . My brother truly believed in me, and he wasn't the type of person to sit back and let a fool handle matters of importance.

"Mèimei," Wenshu said gently, the word for little sister that he hardly ever used, "we'll figure out another way."

"Right," I said quietly.

I must not have sounded convinced, because Wenshu sighed and sat down in front of me, then pulled a rag from his pocket and

started to scour the tears from my face.

Just behind him, the setting sun had lit up the throne room across the courtyard in glowing gold, the doors hanging open and

swaying in the wind. We were so close to where I had lost everything. I could still see the Empress towering over me while

I gripped the bars of my cage, her golden eyes sun bright.

Hong will be dead within the hour , she'd said. Then the people will learn of the tragic passing of their beloved prince and emperor, in that order.

What have you done with him? I'd said.

My breath caught in my throat.

I froze, recalling with perfect clarity what the Empress had said next. I could still see her crimson lips forming the words,

echoed by her reflection in the pool of blood that glowed from the blazing wall of fire behind her.

She had already told me how to defeat her.

Maybe she hadn't realized it at the time, or maybe she'd thought I wouldn't have noticed. But, like everyone else, she had underestimated me.

I ducked away from Wenshu's cloth and jumped to my feet. "Gēgē," I said, "get some scroll paper and an inkstone. I need you

to draft me some legislation."