Chapter Sixteen

The rain fell harder, a rushing sheet of it forming gray walls all around us, sealing us in our tiny world inside the alley.

"I saw you," Wenshu said quietly. "In the river plane."

"You remember that?" I said. I hardly remembered much of it myself beyond grabbing his hand and pulling him to the surface.

He nodded. "I remember drowning," he said. "It was like my whole life had turned to water and was filling up my lungs. But

then it was gone, and I was lying in this muddy riverbed with a stone wall behind me. I sat there in the dark and waited for

you. I knew you'd come eventually."

He looked past me, into the sheet of rain. "But so much time passed, and you didn't come. I called your name, but I couldn't

even hear my own voice. I could see through my own hands, like I was made of mist. The forest was so loud, it kept calling

for me, and after a while I couldn't ignore it anymore.

"I walked into the forest, and it got darker and darker. But then I heard footsteps, and when I turned, I could see you in the clearing. I called out for you, but you still didn't hear me. You kept walking past me, and that's when I realized you weren't there for me at all. You were looking for the prince."

He trailed off, gaze dropping to the ground.

He must have seen me wading through the darkness before I truly knew who I was going to bring back. Alchemy was driven by

intention, and without a crystal clear goal, I'd been lost in the woods for what felt like hours.

"For a moment, I thought of just letting you go to him," Wenshu said, his words quieter now. "Maybe I should have. But I needed

to make sure you and Yufei were all right on the other side. So I ran up to you and took your hand, and that was when you

finally noticed me."

That part I remembered. The darkness had dissolved, and suddenly my brother was standing before me, as if surfacing from a

dark sea. I'd taken his hand, and the haze of the river plane had evaporated.

"I thought you would return for the prince afterward," Wenshu said, glaring at his feet. "I didn't realize you were choosing

between us. But it wasn't a choice, because I decided for you."

I shook my head. "That's not how it works."

"It's obvious that you wish I was him, Zilan," he said, finally meeting my gaze. "Everyone can see it. You spend half your

time with the prince at the river, and the rest of the time you walk around like a kicked puppy. You never looked this sad,

even when your mother died."

I wondered, fleetingly, if Wenshu was right. I had never consciously wished that it was Hong and not my brother standing beside me, but alchemy had a way of unspooling all the lies you told yourself, revealing the truths you tried to ignore. I'd been so happy for the brief moment Hong was back in his own body, but that was only because I worried about him waiting in the darkness, wasn't it? I didn't want my brother dead any more than I wanted Hong dead. I had faced an impossible choice.

And somehow, even when I'd chosen Wenshu, it wasn't enough for him.

I took a steadying breath, clenching my teeth against the onslaught of angry words that wanted to rush out. Wenshu had never

been asked to choose between those he loved, except for the time when he'd kicked me out and chosen to protect Yufei over

me. He'd apologized, but it wasn't something I could easily forget.

Everyone I loved was either dead or hated me. I wished I could go back to a time before I was anyone of importance, before

anyone had expected any more from me than to sell míngqì in a tiny shop in Guangzhou and not complain that no one wanted to

marry me. If no one expected me to save them, I could never let anyone down.

"I don't understand what you want from me," I said, fists clenched. I knew it wasn't what Wenshu wanted to hear, but in that

moment, I didn't care. "I brought you back, even though it meant I might lose Hong forever. I'm trying to get your body back.

And somehow, I still did something wrong?"

"That's not what I'm saying," Wenshu said, frowning.

"Then what are you asking me to do?" I said, raising my voice against the roar of rain. "Go back in time and find you faster

in the darkness? Wait to mourn my betrothed until after you're asleep? I have a lot more important things to worry about right

now."

"Well, at least you're being honest now," Wenshu said. "I'm always the last person you think about."

" I gave up Hong for you! " I said.

"And I wish you hadn't!" Wenshu shouted back.

I stilled, suddenly too aware of the coldness of the rain on my robes, the searing heat of my anger extinguished in an instant.

"I would rather you left me for dead than let me live this way," he said. "Because every time you look at me, I can tell you

wish I was someone else. I don't want to live my life indebted to him, always knowing that I'm not enough for you."

I shook my head. "That's not what I said."

"You didn't have to say it," Wenshu said, turning away.

"Gēgē, I want you here with me," I said. Surely he knew that much was true.

But he only glanced over his shoulder, his expression so perfectly even and cold, like he didn't know me at all. And there,

once more, was the proof that I had ruined another precious part of my life. There was so little left that I hadn't destroyed.

"This conversation was pointless," he said, turning away. "Let's go."

Then without another word, he headed back into the rain. I pulled up my hood and hurried after him, sure that there was something

more I was supposed to say to reassure him, but with no idea where to begin. There were no words in the universe that could

explain how much I cared for my brother, and trying to choose the right ones was like parsing the perfect grains of sand from

a vast desert. I'd thought Wenshu too pragmatic to need any reassurance, but I would have to think of something. Maybe Zheng

Sili, with his expensive education, could help me come up with something eloquent.

Wenshu stopped suddenly. I bumped into him, peering over his shoulder to see what was going on, but could see nothing but

the rain in front of us.

"What is it?" I said.

He glanced over his shoulder, then shook his head. "Nothing," he said, taking off quickly.

At first, I thought he was taking a winding path back to the inn, but he drew closer to the city center and farther from our

room. I could smell bread even through the rainstorm, and just when I was starting to think that food would most certainly

solve all of our problems, Wenshu drew to a stop again. This time, he rolled up his sleeve and examined his arm.

"What is it?" I said.

He turned and showed me his forearm. There was nothing but pale skin and the purpled scar of his soul tag.

"I know you hate my handwriting," I said, "but—"

"No, look ," he said, shoving his arm closer to my face. "Goose bumps."

"Do you... want my coat?" I said, feeling like we were speaking two different languages.

He shook his head. "I'm not cold."

"Then why are we stopping?"

He glanced over my shoulder, then turned and looked behind him, drawing closer to the wall of the closest building. This startled,

fearful look—like a deer ready to lope off at any moment—looked almost exactly like Hong.

"I feel unsettled," he said, "but I don't understand why."

That certainly was unlike Wenshu. He was logical if nothing else, and did nothing if there wasn't a reason for it. He had

never been prone to random anxiety. That sounded more like Hong, who had always been running for his life. Maybe some of his

instincts remained in his body and not just his brain.

"Do you see something?" I said.

"No, that's the problem," he said. "I can't explain it, but I feel as if we're being followed."

"Then let's go," I said, grabbing his wrist. If Hong thought we should flee, I wouldn't question it.

The rain began to pick up, destroying any hope of hearing footsteps behind us and obscuring the whole street in murky gray.

If we were being followed, I didn't want to lead them right back to where we slept, so we took a winding path around the city,

the rain quickly soaking us through.

"Do you still feel it?" I said, my teeth chattering from the cold rain.

Wenshu only nodded, his face pale. I was starting to worry he was going to collapse again soon, and I'd be left defending

his limp body from an unknown assailant.

I yanked him into an alley, tucking us both under an alcove at the back door of a restaurant beside a pile of compost.

Why are you running? I asked myself, the thought sharper than the burst of cold rain that gushed down from the gutters onto my head. You are the Scarlet Alchemist.

But was I really? I thought of the way Hong had looked at me, like he no longer believed I could truly bring him back.

Wet footsteps approached the mouth of the alley, then drew to a stop. My heartbeat hammered through my bones, and the shame

I felt at my fear was more harrowing than the fear itself.

Get up, Zilan , my father's voice said. But I couldn't move, shivering hard beside the pile of rotting fruit.

Maybe the Silver Alchemist had somehow survived and caught up to us. Or maybe it was just another one of the Empress's puppets

come to drag me back to Chang'an in chains so I could hang from the gates.

To my horror, Wenshu rose to his feet.

I yanked his sleeve, but he pulled away, heading straight for the stranger.

This, at last, forced me to my feet. I wedged myself in front of Wenshu, squinting through the barrage of rain, reaching for three firestones.

But as I drew closer, I realized this couldn't be the Silver Alchemist. This figure was much smaller, their fingers too thin

and pale. That was all I saw before a gust of wind pulled at their hood, and in the darkness of the alley I caught a glimpse

of two golden eyes.

I raised my firestones, but Wenshu seized my wrist.

"You walk too damn fast," the stranger said.

The words felt like falling into a frozen sea. I knew that silvery smooth voice, the same one that haunted my dreams.

In the darkness of the alley, the stranger pulled her hood down, and I stood face-to-face with the rain-drenched Empress Wu.

"Jiějiě?" I said the word so quietly that I wasn't sure if she'd even hear it over the roar of the rain.

The Empress locked her gaze with mine, but her expression hardly changed save for a raised eyebrow, and yes, that was the

Yufei I knew—the girl with so few facial expressions that neighbors whispered about how she wore a porcelain mask instead

of a face. The Empress was like a painting, a thousand stories behind her eyes, but Yufei had always looked like she couldn't

bother to expend the energy to change her expressions.

"Why were you sitting in rotten fruit?" she said.

I let out a sharp, delirious laugh. "Why were you sneaking around like you wanted to mug us?" I said.

"The whole country knows my face and thinks I'm dead," she said. "I couldn't exactly pull my hood down from three blocks away

and shout your name."

I crushed her into a hug that punched her breath away, and even though it felt wrong to be wrapped in the Empress's bony arms, to hear the Empress's traitorous heart beating against my own, in that moment it didn't matter what form my sister took as long as she was here .

Wenshu crossed his arms, scanning her from head to toe. "You should really try to tell us before you fake your own death, not after," he said.

"Where was I supposed to send the letter?" she said, raising an eyebrow. "And I was in a bit of a hurry."

"I guess I can forgive you this once," Wenshu said, pulling her into a hug the moment I stepped back.

Under the awning, she told us how she'd watched from her window as the private soldiers finally broke through the main gates

of the palace. She'd managed to hide herself in a potato barrel in the cellar and remain undetected while the soldiers killed

all the servants trying to flee. After the soldiers gave up, she'd swapped clothes with a dead servant and left the body in

the dungeon staircase, where it looked as if she'd fallen and broken half her face off. She fled through the tunnels and wandered

through the wet darkness.

"Which, by the way," Yufei said, "are impossible to navigate. You know how long it took me to find my way out of there? At

least a day. I was starving by the time I got out."

"That's sort of the point of the tunnels," I said, clinging tight to Yufei's arm, even though both of us were shivering from

the rain.

"You did a pretty convincing job of faking your own death," Wenshu said, arms crossed. "Except for one thing."

She raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"There were no shoes on the illustration of the Empress," Wenshu said. "You never walk around the palace fully dressed but barefoot. The Empress's shoes were too small to fit onto a random corpse, weren't they?"

Yufei smirked. "The opposite, actually," she said. "The shoes were too big, and they fell off when the soldiers dragged the

corpse outside."

"You knew?" I said, smacking Wenshu's arm.

"I told you the shoes were suspicious!" Wenshu said. "And I told you not to worry about it!" He turned back to Yufei. "So

how did you find us?"

"You sure didn't make it easy," Yufei said. "It took me forever to figure out you were traveling with three people instead

of two. Which, by the way—who's the servant boy?"

"He's not important," I said. "Are we really that easy to track?"

"Zilan is," Yufei said.

I froze. " Me? "

"The vendors always remember you," she said. "Two aristocrats buying plain congee and yóutiáo every day? It stands out."

I grimaced. I'd grown up eating congee for breakfast simply because it was always there—meats and vegetables were sometimes

scarce as the seasons changed, but we always had rice, so we always had congee. Eating it reminded me of sitting in the kitchen

with Auntie So while she brushed my hair back.

But I supposed it was considered a poor man's meal, something an aristocrat probably wouldn't buy plain, if at all. They were

more likely to eat it when ill, in which case they'd order their servants to make it for them.

"Once I knew where you'd been, there weren't that many inns to check, and the innkeepers could always be... persuaded to tell me if you'd stayed, or if they'd heard you talking about where to go next, or, at the very least, which direction

you rode off in."

"Did you torture them?" Wenshu said flatly.

"Only a little," she said, shrugging. "Now, are you actually sleeping in this compost pile, or did you find somewhere to stay?"

Zheng Sili did not appreciate the unannounced return of the Empress.

He braced himself in front of Durian like a human shield and hurled a shoe at Yufei, who smacked it out of the air before

spotting the pear slices on the floor and popping three in her mouth at once.

Zheng Sili froze, another shoe in hand, looking between me and Wenshu.

"If that really was the Empress, the first thing you would attack her with is a shoe ?" I said.

He blinked, slowly lowering the shoe. "That's not..." He shook his head. "Of course it's not the Empress. I forgot you

stuff people inside other people like human sausages."

"Gross," Yufei said through a mouthful of fruit.

I rolled my eyes, sitting down beside her. "This is my sister, Yufei." She waved in acknowledgment, popping a grape in her

mouth alongside the pear slices. "Yufei, this is Zheng Sili, who is supposedly an alchemist who can actually fight with stones

instead of shoes."

"This is so weird," Zheng Sili said, dropping onto the bed. "You imprisoned me. You were hanged."

"Nope, wasn't me," Yufei said.

"Yes, I obviously understand that," Zheng Sili said, glaring. "Well, this is great. We're walking around with the undead Empress,

the Crown Prince, and the last royal alchemist. As if we weren't memorable enough already."

Yufei coughed, pulling a piece of grape peel from her mouth and casting it to the floor.

"You're not supposed to eat the peel," Zheng Sili said, angling away, like he thought she might eat him as well.

"I obviously didn't mean to," Yufei said, still chewing. "I'm hungry, okay? I didn't get a chance to pack a ton of snacks

before fleeing for my life."

He tensed, his eyes brightening. "I don't suppose you brought anything from the treasury with you on your way out?"

"Of course I did," Yufei said, wiping her hands on her skirt. "I needed gold. You think anyone gave me passage north for free?"

"Did you bring any rings?" I said, grabbing her arm. Maybe we wouldn't have to go all the way back to Chang'an after all.

Yufei shook her head. "Just some gold headdresses."

My heart sank, my fingers loosening around her arm.

"You sold gold headdresses from the treasury?" Zheng Sili said, looking physically pained by the words.

"Not whole ," Yufei said. "I'm not an imbecile. Everyone would think I was a thief. I broke them into pieces."

Zheng Sili let out a strangled sound, turning his gaze to the ceiling as if asking the gods for help. "Those are pieces of

history—"

"I can't eat gold," Yufei said flatly. "Well, I guess some people could, but not me."

Zheng Sili looked to me as if I would object, but I only shrugged. "I'm sure the royal family still has plenty of gold."

Zheng Sili's lips pinched together. He pulled Durian into his lap and started stroking his back, like he wanted to think about

absolutely anything else.

"We're looking for a ring that is most likely in Chang'an," Wenshu explained to Yufei.

"And you're positive that Taizong didn't happen to share the location of this ring with his precious grandson?" Zheng Sili said to me.

I shook my head. "Taizong died before he was born."

"Can't you raise the dead?" Zheng Sili said. "Isn't that your whole thing?"

"He would be a skeleton," I said.

Yufei paused as if actually considering it. "Have you ever tried resurrecting a skeleton?" she said.

"Don't answer that," Wenshu said before I could speak. "I don't want to know. Someone a hundred years dead wouldn't have a

brain, so I doubt he would be that helpful."

"And yet we keep Zheng Sili around," I said, glaring at him.

He scowled. "Some resurrection alchemist you are. The one time it would actually be helpful to talk to the dead, and you can't

do it."

I crossed my arms rather than admit he was right. We didn't need to give Taizong a whole new body and life, just ask him one

simple question.

Besides, the dead didn't need a body to speak. I thought of Hong waiting on the river plane, of the way I'd been able to touch

the Moon Alchemist's past along the river of her soul, even though she was dead as well. Maybe I could visit Taizong's river

as well. I doubted I'd find a rushing stream there after a century of death, but maybe I could find a single drop of water

trapped in the air or the soil, some small ghost of his past that lingered. That was all we needed, after all—one brief memory.

I turned to Zheng Sili. "We're going to need some rope."