CHAPTER NINETEEN

"Hey, what's the weirdest thing you've ever done in bed?" Dom asked Matty under his breath as he pulled off his T-shirt. He hadn't skated with the team today but he'd done some workouts under Eddie's careful eye.

"What?" Matty said, way too loud as usual. "Why do you want to know what Antoni and I get up to in the bedroom?"

The entire locker room fell silent, guys frozen with their gear half-off, blatantly eavesdropping.

"Dude, no!" Dom protested. "I—never mind. Forget I asked. It was a stupid question."

And why had he asked the biggest loudmouth on the team?

Matty never did anything around here at a quiet volume. He was perfectly capable of it—Dom had seen him do it when kids were around—but Dom should have known better than to ask something like that here .

He blamed it on lack of sleep.

It was impossible to get comfortable anymore and he'd been tossing and turning every night.

"No, why'd you want to know?" Matty asked, nudging him with his elbow.

Shit, Dom hadn't thought through how to explain the question. Only, he hadn't been having a lot of luck figuring out something he and Shea could actually do while his back was all jacked up. He was getting desperate.

"I was curious?" he managed lamely, his back twinging when he sat to pull off his socks. "Whatever. It's not important."

This wasn't a locker room that talked about sex a whole lot. Guys got chirped for coming in late or with marks on them, but no one went into details.

Dom had been grateful for that when he got here.

LA had been the total opposite.

Dom's former captain had been a fan of graphically dissecting every hookup at maximum volume and Dom had hated it.

He'd hated being forced to hear stuff he didn't want to hear. Hated that he felt pressured to contribute and awkward and guilty when he had to lie about what he'd done.

"No," Matty said slowly. "We can talk about it. If you want."

"Uh, guys," Dustin said, clearing his throat. "Maybe not here? I try to keep that talk out of the locker room."

"Yeah, good call," Dom said, relieved. "Sorry I even brought it up."

Hopefully he could convince Matty to drop it.

"Hey, how about this?" Matty said brightly. "We'll talk about it at lunch! Anyone who wants to join us can, and anyone who doesn't, can skip it. No pressure either way."

"No, seriously, this was a bad idea," Dom insisted. He did not fucking want to have this discussion with the whole fucking team.

Or even half of it.

"You can come over to my place," Dustin offered. "That'll be private enough."

Dom closed his eyes and prayed for strength. What had he done?

"Awesome!" Matty grinned. "Who's in?"

Several guys raised their hands and Dom debated if knocking himself unconscious just to avoid the whole damn thing would make even more people worried he was mentally unsound.

Probably. Damn it.

After everyone was showered and dressed, they went to get food in the practice facilities cafeteria.

The guys who were heading to Dustin and Charlie's to talk piled their lunch into to-go containers and left the building.

As Dom drove to Dustin's house, he felt like he might throw up.

It was only the thought of how much more shit the guys would give him that kept him from saying fuck it to the whole thing and going home to eat in peace instead.

When they were seated around the big dining room table with Matty, Nico, Felix, Jonah, and Jordan, Dom breathed a sigh of relief. At least these were all guys he knew and trusted.

It could have been a lot worse.

"So," Dustin said, grinning. "What's with the sudden curiosity about other people's sex lives, Dom?"

"It was stupid. We don't even have to have this conversation. Forget I said anything."

Nico leaned forward, grinning. "No, c'mon, let's share. This'll be fun."

It absolutely will not , Dom thought with a sigh but he was the one who had started this ball rolling and it appeared there was no way to stop it now.

"Well, we all know that Charlie and Dustin have had sex on the living room couch." Matty grinned. "So I'm guessing public sex is their thing."

Dustin sputtered. "That's hardly public . We were in our own living room! You were the one who put in the gate code, unlocked our front door, and walked in!"

Matty grimaced. "True. And now I'd like to scrub that image from my head but unfortunately, it's stuck in there."

Dom laughed. He was glad he'd missed that one. Poor Matty and Colton.

"I dunno, the thrill of being caught can be fun," Jordan said. "One time, Tasha and I had sex on the balcony of a cruise ship. It was so fucking hot. Knowing people could maybe hear or see us if they were out there or had the doors open added that extra bit of spice, you know?"

Felix nodded. "Sure, I can see that."

Dom shoveled some grilled chicken and barley salad into his mouth because that didn't sound like fun at all to him.

"God, I love public sex," Nico said enthusiastically. "Last summer, Auggie and I went to a sex club in Amsterdam and he fucked me so good while people watched."

"Really?" Jonah made a face. "You enjoy that?"

"Yeah. Why? You don't?" Nico asked.

Jonah shook his head. "Well, I've never tried it but I don't think so. I mean, I guess it's one thing if people overhear but –"

"Oh, we know that's your kink. The whole damn team knows when you and Felix are having sex on the road." Matty snorted. "We can hear it halfway down the hall."

Felix grinned. "I still can't believe we're that loud."

"Believe it," Dom said, rolling his eyes and stabbing an asparagus spear. "So loud."

"Seriously," Nico said, looking around the table. "None of you have had sex with someone else watching?"

Matty's ears turned red. "I mean, not unless they were joining us. And that was only that one time with Courtney that I don't want to think about anymore. That's in the past."

"No, threesomes are different," Nico argued. "I mean like … being on display. That's why Auggie and I went to the sex club last summer."

"God. You would want people to watch you getting railed." Felix laughed, shaking his head. "Show-off."

"What can I say." Nico shot the table a sly grin. "I'm hot stuff and the world would be a sadder place if people couldn't enjoy my gloriousness."

"Yeah, yeah." Jordan let out a derisive little noise. "So you claim."

"No, it's true!" Nico said. "It's practically a public service. Oh! And get this. One time when we went to the club we ran into another NHL couple."

Dustin blinked. " Who ?"

"Well, I'm not telling you," Nico protested. "I mean, the player is out and everyone knows he and his boyfriend are together but I'm not gonna blab about who gets up to what in the off-season."

"Well, now we know Nico's not the one leaking shit to the gossip sites," Jonah said with a rueful grin.

Nico made a face. "Eww. No. People should have whatever privacy they want. I'm still not over the fact that literally everyone I know saw Skylar and I fuck on a balcony. My aunt has seen it. I mean, she swears she closed out of the tab immediately once it started playing but –"

He shuddered and everyone at the table did too.

"Holy shit." Dustin blanched. "You ran into Trevor Underhill and Wade Cannon last summer?"

Nico stared, bug-eyed, at his captain. "What the fuck, D? How did you figure that out from what I said?"

Dustin made a face. "I was mentally running through the list of out players I know who have a boyfriend not in the league and I remembered that they went to Europe last summer …"

"Your brain is scary," Matty said admiringly.

"Well, I can't confirm nor deny anything," Nico said, brushing his hair out of his eyes. It had grown long again, totally covering the scar from his brain surgery. "But I am going to say, watching the couple was smoking hot and the one guy and I might have given each other handjobs while we were getting railed."

Nico smiled smugly, like he was feeling very pleased with himself. Dom, on the other hand, was starting to feel incredibly boring in the sack.

Jesus. Being involved with an escort was starting to seem downright tame.

"Yeah, no." Matty made a face. "I mean, it's cool if you and August are into that but no way for me and Antoni. No swapping with anyone."

"We didn't swap ," Nico protested, sounding indignant. "We just … let the moment take us where it felt good and included a little extra."

"Isn't that stuff you should have agreed to before you got into the situation?" Dustin asked with a little frown.

"We did," Nico protested. "Auggie said he was comfortable with me giving a guy a handjob if I wanted to. We both agreed that if anything changed when we were, you know, in the middle of it or whatever, we'd tell each other and stop. Handjobs were the limit and we both agreed it wouldn't go further than that. It sounded like, uh, the other couple did something similar. I don't know! It wasn't a big deal. It was hot but it's not like it's a regular thing. It was … one-off fun, you know?"

"Moving away from public sex," Dom said because that was firmly in the ‘hell no' category for him. "What else have you guys done?"

By the end of this, Dom was sure he was going to regret starting this whole discussion but it was almost morbidly fascinating at this point and if he was doing research he might as well try to learn something useful.

Even if it was at the risk of learning way too much about his teammates' love lives.

Matty grinned. "Well, on our wedding night, Antoni ate liqueur-filled chocolates off my body. That was pretty hot."

"That sounds … sticky to me."

"Yeah." Matty let out a rueful laugh. "And I'm kinda hairy so we had to shower after. Oh! But then he taught me what rimming is and let me tell you, that shit is awesome ."

"Rimming," Nico said with a wistful sigh. "God, it's the best. Auggie has the longest tongue, I swear."

Dom rubbed his hands over his face. Yep. He regretted this.

Matty continued. "And then the next day … or maybe the day after, I can't remember now, he bent me over the kitchen island and fucked my ass—not like inside but the cheeks—using olive oil for lube."

Jordan sprayed iced tea across the table.

"Eww," Dom said, brushing some of the liquid off his shirt and glaring at him.

Sorry , Jordan mouthed.

"Wait, was the eww for Jordan or me?" Matty asked, frowning.

"Jordan," Dom explained. "Because I like this shirt. Although remind me never to eat in your kitchen again, Matty. Because that sounds very unsanitary."

"You've eaten there like a dozen times since then." Matty waved his hand as if to say it was unimportant. "So it's too late now. Besides, we've cleaned ."

"Well, I would hope so," Dom said, still a little grossed out. "And what is with you two and food ?"

"I dunno. I'm very food motivated, I guess."

"Tell me something we don't know," Dustin said drily.

"So, I've gotta ask," Nico said and Dom internally groaned because he was pretty sure he was about to find out way more about Matty than he ever wanted to know. "You said Antoni fucks your cheeks but do you ever bottom? You've definitely got the ass for it, man."

Matty made a face. "Not really. I mean, we've tried. I don't love it. And I kept worrying that it was some weird hang-up of mine, you know? Like some stupid former straight guy thing where I think I'm less of a man for taking it—"

"Matty, you were always bi," Dustin pointed out.

"No, I know that. But like … it's different when you grow up thinking you're straight and don't figure it all out until way later," Matty said earnestly.

"Amen to that," Felix muttered.

"But I don't think that's it," Matty continued. "I … I don't like it much. Like a finger while he's blowing me, sure. But anything beyond that just starts to feel not good and like, I want sex to feel good ."

"Yeah, fair," Nico said. "I mean, I like to switch it up but I get that not everyone is as obsessed with variety as I am."

"Tasha pegs me sometimes," Jordan said.

This time, Dom was almost the one who sprayed his drink across the table. "Seriously?" he sputtered, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Yeah, why not?" Jordan shrugged. "I mean, gay guys must be onto something. I've never been attracted to a man but I've got a prostate, so I figured why not see what all of the fuss is about."

"And you liked it?" Nico asked, his eyes lighting up.

"Yeah, the last time we did it, I came so hard I thought my head might explode." He grinned.

"Hell fucking yeah to that," Nico said, fist bumping him. "Hot, man. I love that you weren't afraid to get a little kinky with your girl."

"Charlie wears lingerie and heels in bed sometimes," Dustin offered.

"I think we all could have guessed that," Dom joked, then held up his hands when a couple of guys shot him dirty looks. "Not knocking it. I'm sure he looks great in it, but I don't think that's gonna do it for me."

He would look and feel ridiculous in lingerie and he couldn't picture Shea in it either.

The entire table fell silent, everyone gaping at him.

Dom rubbed a hand over his face when he realized what he'd said. "Um, can we ignore that?"

"Well," Jordan said, clearing his throat. "I mean, I'm sure not every guy likes the look of a woman in lingerie."

Dom silently thanked Jordan for politely giving him an out if he wanted to keep pretending he was straight.

But what was the fucking point? A couple of the guys already knew.

This crew would be supportive.

And as much as he fucking hated going into detail about anything private in his life, he didn't love that there was a huge barrier between him and the rest of the team.

Dustin had a point. If Dom wanted to get closer to his team, he needed to be more vulnerable. Right?

"Um," Dom said with a sigh. "Yeah, so, I've never been into women in lingerie. Or, you know, women at all."

Felix and Jonah's eyes widened, eerily in unison.

"Oh shit, really?" Jonah said, leaning forward. "I had no idea, man."

"Well, I haven't exactly been advertising it," Dom admitted.

"So tell me, are the trainers giving you the good stuff or what right now?" Nico teased. "Because sharing like this is sooo out of character for you."

Dom managed a weak smile. "I'm not on the good drugs. I'd kinda like to be, because I'm in a shitload of pain right now but, uh, this is … this is me coming out to you guys, I guess. Well, Dustin and Matty knew but …"

"Only since last fall," Dustin hastily added.

"Well, congrats, man," Jordan said sincerely. "I'm starting to feel like the odd man out for being straight but I'm happy for you."

"Uh, thanks."

Dustin gave him a searching glance like he was checking in to make sure Dom was okay.

He was not, but he'd survive.

"Are you … seeing someone?" Felix asked cautiously.

Dom cleared his throat. "Umm, not seriously. But my stylist, we uh, hook up sometimes."

"Sunday nights!" Nico said. "Goddamn that has been driving me crazy wondering why you're always busy then."

Dom cracked a smile. "So. Yeah. That's the big secret."

"So is that why you wanted to know the wildest thing we've done in bed?" Matty asked. "Because I've gotta tell you, dude, I did not expect that."

"Seriously, me either. I did not have that one on my bingo card." Nico shook his head. "But what's up, old man? Are you getting bored in the bedroom and want to spice things up? Well, you've come to the right place. Talk to Uncle Nico about it and he'll solve all your problems."

Dom glanced up at the ceiling. "Dear God, kill me now."

"Ignore him," Dustin said, but he was laughing a little.

"And no, the sex we have is not boring ," Dom protested. "I'm just trying to figure out how to make it a little more … interesting while my back is all fucked up and I can't get super athletic."

"Ohh, so you're worried he might get bored," Nico nodded. "Makes sense. I mean, you have a good body and face but you have to make up for your horrible personality somehow."

"I fucking hate you," Dom said with a sigh. "So goddamn much."

But there was no heat behind it because he wasn't actually angry at Nico. Honestly, the chirping made it easier. Made it all feel more normal.

"Truthfully, this whole idea of asking for suggestions was stupid. Ignore everything I said."

"No, no, we can work with this," Nico said. "Auggie and I had to get creative when my head was a mess and my dick didn't want to behave."

"Nico, your dick has never behaved a day in its life." Dustin snickered. "It's always getting you in trouble."

"Well, true." He grinned. "But most of the time it was trying to do stuff when I shouldn't be doing it. After my surgery, it was refusing to do stuff when I wanted it to."

"Yeah true," Dustin agreed. "So what did you try?"

"Well, for a while, when I couldn't move much and Auggie didn't want me to overdo it, he was the one in charge. Obviously, some positions were easier than others, but really anything that didn't involve me having to exert myself much. With my dick being uncooperative he was the one who topped most of the time, although let me tell you, cock rings are useful …"

Nico went on to describe the various positions they'd tried and Dom half tuned him out while he thought about what Nico had said.

Dom had never let Shea top him. It wasn't because of any lingering "straight boy" hangups or anything. He'd enjoyed it when Christian had fucked him.

Well, except for the last time when he fucked me over, Dom thought a little bitterly.

But sex hadn't been their issue and Dom had enjoyed being fucked.

What made him hesitate now was that it always felt intimate to have someone inside him. He hadn't wanted to cross that line with Shea. Hadn't trusted him enough to let go and let him in.

Physically or otherwise.

But now?

Dom wondered if it was worth reconsidering.

"Oh, but what about this?" Nico thrust his phone at Dom to show him some sex position that looked incredibly uncomfortable even when his back was feeling good.

"Thanks, but you know what?" Dom said, reaching for his water. "I think I'm set. But, uh, I appreciate you trying to help."

Nico was ridiculous and had no shame whatsoever but he was a good guy and he meant well.

They all did.

Although, by the end of lunch, after Dom had heard about Felix and Jonah nearly injuring themselves last summer when they tried to have sex in a hammock, Dustin and Charlie trying to have sex on skates— How? Why? Dom wondered—he was considering chucking every single one of his teammates into Lake Ontario just to get them to stop talking.

But he felt a wash of affection for them too, because they were all morons but they were his morons and, well, he was going to miss the hell out of them at the end of the season.

"Ohh, I almost forgot," Nico said, leaning forward. "This one time, in Amsterdam—"

Dom laughed. "Swear to God if you start talking about where you put a flute, I'm dumping you in Dustin's pool." It was a lot closer than Lake Ontario. All he had to do was walk downstairs.

The only guys at the table who laughed were Matty and Dustin, while Nico and the rest of them stared blankly.

Dom sighed. He was old, damn it. Most of the guys hadn't gotten the movie reference because they were too young to have watched it and by the time they were old enough, it had been passé.

Hell, Shea probably hadn't seen American Pie either.

Not that it was a huge cinematic masterpiece or anything but it made Dom feel ancient to realize.

"Ahh, shut up." Felix threw a wadded-up napkin at Nico's face. "We're so done with your stories, man."

"Yes, seriously," Dom said with a grateful sigh.

"Oh, man, I was having fun too." Nico pouted, but he didn't continue.

Instead, conversation shifted to the team's standings—they were close to clinching a spot in the playoffs—and Dom tried to ignore the sour feeling in his gut that he wouldn't be there to help them with it.

It wasn't until he left Dustin's place and climbed into his Aston Martin Vanquish that it hit him that he'd come out to part of the team.

He sat there for a moment, digesting it.

It still left him with that slightly itchy, uncomfortable feeling, but on the whole, he didn't regret it.

He wasn't good at opening up. Wasn't good at being vulnerable. But he was trying . Because even though he hated the way it felt, apparently it was important to other people.

He did love these guys, even if they were ridiculous.

And, if nothing else, the whole stupid conversation had given him some things to think about for his "homework" from Shea.