Chapter 65

Julie

"And third, don't forget you have our numbers. Just in case anything should happen."

Larissa looked at me insistently, her hands on my shoulders. The physical contact with her no longer bothered me, because my head was all about Erik and how I was going to survive this meet-up without scaring him off.

My whole body seemed to tremble with nervousness because I wasn't ready to take that step, to leave our safe online world and let him become part of my unpredictable and destructive reality.

But Erik wasn't just any young man . It was fucking Erik . My best friend, with whom I spent nights discussing Greek mythology, with whom I exchanged books on philosophy and with whom I felt like someone , not something . And I would meet him. Here. Now.

"And now get moving. I'm sure he's waiting!"

Larissa pulled me off my barely safe bar stool and down into the unknown. Closer to Erik than I could handle.

Was it normal to be overwhelmed? Was he perhaps feeling the same?

"I don't know, Larissa. Maybe it's not such a great idea," I voiced my doubts. Loud enough for her to hear me.

She wiggled her index finger before downing her Cuba Libre and indicating to the bartender that she hadn't had enough yet.

Her stamina was remarkable. I would have been drunk by now, that's how little I could handle.

Perhaps it was simply because I had only secretly borrowed the good whisky with the maple syrup note from Amara a few times and otherwise knew only the disgusting wine from the formal temple ceremonies in Moenia.

"Forget it, you're going to see your Prince Charming now. I'm sure he's been waiting for you for a long time. And if it helps, take a sip of this." She held out her freshly served drink with a slice of lemon stuck to it. "To help you come out of your shell."

I waved my hands in thanks and she rolled her eyes.

"Then stop being like that and get going. Otherwise, I'll tell the DJ to ask for your Erik." She grinned mischievously at me and my heart stopped beating.

"You're not doing that!" I stuttered, stunned, because by now I trusted Larissa to do anything .

"Don't challenge me!" she laughed loudly and sipped her drink.

I felt sick to my stomach and reached for her glass, took a generous sip and immediately regretted it. I had to cough as the cooling liquid flowed down my throat.

"There you go," Larissa said cheerfully and also got down from her bar stool. "And now hurry! It's late enough!"

Without warning, she pushed me into the crowd, which simply swallowed me up with its movements and pushed me in a different direction, away from Larissa. All I could see was her waving excitedly after me before two dancing men blocked my view.

The beat intensified the feeling my loudly pounding heart was giving off and as I took my cell phone out of my pocket, it almost slipped out of my cold, shaking and sweaty hands.

I found myself in the middle of a huge crowd of people, which increased my nervousness. Every touch seemed to sting me and I could feel Gloria's serum slowly losing its effect. So, I hastily pushed my way through the crowd to an edge of the club where it was less busy, but the dancing and talking people still obscured my view so that I was protected from any chance encounters with Grace or other people I knew. I was afraid my cousin wouldn't let me go, especially after her statement yesterday.

My hands began to shake harder. So, I rummaged in my little white bag for the bottle of Salma I had taken from Gloria. The liquid shimmered slightly, but I didn't look at it for long, instead I hastily gulped down the contents of the small vial.

Inwardly, I hoped that nothing would happen to me tonight. This potion didn't guarantee it, but it did make me less emotional and less likely to have an outburst. I only drank half of it because I didn't want to lose all my feelings. It was still Erik I was about to meet and I wanted to react authentically to him.

Damn it. I was going to meet Erik.

My heart pounded and pounded.

Then my cell phone vibrated.

My trembling intensified.

God , I had never felt so nervous.

This morning I'd hardly been able to get anything down, apart from three cherry tomatoes. My hunger had simply passed, as so many times when excitement messed with my emotional world.

Then there was the shaking. Grace had put my make-up on and warned me that if I kept shaking like that, the make-up wouldn't work, but she had somehow managed it anyway.

I swallowed as I read his words. It was a mixture of disappointment and relief that spread through me. What if it all suddenly happened too quickly for him too?

My alarm bells rang and I got even more nervous. Bay had said that I shouldn't change the meeting place because it could get dangerous.

But this was Erik. Erik wasn't dangerous . We were friends and nothing would happen. Or was I being too naive?

The fact that he was typing for so long made me even more nervous. I finally wanted to see him, but somehow, I didn't feel ready.

I could no longer control my shaking. To make sure I didn't lose my phone, I quickly activated a live location for Larissa, slipped it back into my pocket and took another deep breath.

"Okay... You can do it," I said to myself. No one could hear me here anyway. Then I pushed my way through the crowd dancing to Danza Kuduro by Don Omar and Lucenzo .

I felt as if the music had gotten louder. It was a wonder I didn't have a headache yet, because my body normally hated so much stimulation. Loud music, booming bass, colorful lights, the smell of smoke and sweet alcohol. All of this could have made me explode by now. But it was different. It was as if Erik had taken a place inside me from which he controlled all my thoughts. He distracted me so much that I actually made it to the exit, where I squeezed past people still queuing and high school kids smoking.

I paused for a moment because somehow, I still didn't feel ready. Erik was only a few meters away from me, somewhere out here. He would surely recognize me immediately by my insecurity and then it would be too late. I could still turn around. I could still go back to Grace, in front of whom Larissa couldn't ask any questions.

The fact that I finally left the club and found myself in the pleasantly cool parking lot was only thanks to the quiet voice inside me that called out for Erik's company.

There was no turning back now. I was actually going to meet Erik.

I walked slowly across the parking lot, where a few drunken teenagers were making out with each other.

I looked at every face, but no one seemed to be interested in me. I kept walking, moving away from the club, trying to suppress the anxiety building inside me until it suddenly brought me to a halt.

What if he wasn't here at all? What if he had meant a different club? A different university or even a completely different town with the same name? What if he wasn't from Blairville at all? And what if the whole time he was just...

"J?"

My breath stopped. Everything inside me tightened pleasantly. Time stood still. I slowly turned around.

"Erik..." I whispered softly and looked at the young man with the black suit jacket and white shirt underneath... a black mask covering the upper half of his face, except for his eyes. He was tall, at least two heads taller than me, and had broad shoulders, but it was too dark to make out the color of his hair, especially since it shimmered almost orange in the warm lantern light.

"Both of us wearing masks, what a coincidence." His voice sounded warm, masculine, and immediately triggered a tingling sensation in my stomach. I thought I had heard it somewhere before, but that was impossible. "Are we now like the gods, who hide behind their masks while they do things that Olympus shouldn't know about?"

Through the shadows, I recognized a smirk on his lips. And I discovered dimples on his taut skin that gave me a pleasant tug in my stomach.

"As long as you're not Zeus, and I'm not Europa? " I replied unabashedly, glad that his manner helped me to overcome my nervousness, even though his presence seemed to intensify this strangely pleasant yet exciting feeling in my stomach.

He stepped closer so that only half a meter separated us and lowered his voice. "If I wanted to kidnap you, I would have invited you somewhere else." I had to look up at him to see his soft smirk. "And don't you ever compare me to Zeus again, unless you want to be disarmed by me in a discussion."

Erik didn't like Zeus. And I liked teasing him about it.

"Maybe that's what I want?"

He stared at me, seeming to study me, before he smirked again, and I felt that pleasant sensation again, this time in my chest, and then his gaze traveled down me, over the dress.

God, Julie, don't hyperventilate now.

"If I told you how much your dress flatters you, would you accept the compliment?"

I drew in a sharp breath. His gaze traveled from my dress up to my neck, then our eyes met.

" God , you are beautiful. Even though I'm not even allowed to see all of you yet," he almost whispered.

My heartbeat accelerated. I felt incredibly warm from his words, which I definitely hadn't expected. I didn't know what to say, but I tried anyway.

"Erik, I..."

He didn't let me finish, but put his arms around my waist and pulled me close. Just wrapped me in his strong warm arms, close to him.

"Sorry for the awkward compliment, J," he whispered in my ear, and goosebumps traveled down the back of my neck. "I've missed you, too."

His warm breath on my neck was enough to heat up my entire body.

I couldn't believe it was really Erik I was hugging. I felt so comfortable, so... wanted .

I cringed inwardly the moment I realized that this was my first hug in years. Automatically, my arms went around him and I pulled him tightly against me, my heart racing.

"You're so cold," he whispered, breaking away from the hug that I would have loved to stay in for longer.

He took off his jacket and put it around my arms.

My cheeks began to glow because I was too overwhelmed to protest.

I wasn't cold, which must have been because I could hardly feel anything except Erik's warmth and my racing heart. It was so different having him in front of me, and it made me much shyer than I already was.

"We could also sit in my car and turn on the heater," he offered, and the thought of the two of us in his car triggered two completely different feelings. Fear and excitement.

Damn it, Julie. He is your best friend. Where were these bundles of emotions suddenly coming from?

"If you want to kidnap me, go ahead..." I blurted out unintentionally, sounding more confident than expected. "But then you'll have to accept that I'll forever compare you to Zeus."

Now he grinned.

"Why does it sound like you want to be kidnapped?" he joked, which put me at ease. "Haven't you had enough of my obsession with gods? I wouldn't talk about anything else all the time..."

This time I had to smile, which he replied.

How much I would love to see him without his mask now...

Erik's look became more serious. "But no, J, if you don't want to do that, we can stay here."

He looked at me insistently.

If it hadn't been so dark, I could have seen the color of his eyes and maybe even hints of the rest of his appearance.

"I want to," I said firmly and reached for his hand. Warmth flooded my fingertips, which seemed almost numb. He flinched almost unnoticeably, probably at least as surprised by my sudden touch as I was.

"Your skin..." he began in a hoarse voice. "So soft...and yet so cold."

Instantly, I took my hand out of his, but he pulled it back and drew me even closer to him. And then he leaned forward.

"Next time, I will invite you to my fireplace, and you can have hot chocolate."

Another wave of heat shot through my cheeks.

His words eased something inside me, the tension I seemed to go through life with. He destroyed it completely . It was the fact that he made me feel wanted. But I didn't know how to deal with it.

"You seem like a good host," I laughed sheepishly and the right corner of his mouth turned upwards.

"Only with the people I kidnap..." He raised his hand, which held a key. "And while we're at it." The lights of the large car next to us lit up dimly. "I'd like to take you to the underworld with this."

He let go of my hand and opened the backseat door, only to gesture to the inside of the car.

"You can still escape from me, J."

The tingling in my stomach intensified, making my knees go weak.

"I've always wanted to know what it's like down there..." I let myself in on his play on words and climbed into his car, not without the nervousness threatening to swallow me up.

Erik opened the front door, leaned in to start the engine, and pressed a button – the heated seats, no doubt – then he threw in his suit jacket, closed the driver's door again and got in the back with me.

Adrenaline flooded through me, and it felt...good.

I immediately felt the warmth of the heated seats and the soft, smooth leather beneath me. The car seemed rather new.

"It's okay... I'm nervous, too," he laughed and turned to me, leaning into the seat and looking so incredibly relaxed. "May I?" He pointed at my hands. "I don't want you to freeze and have any negative memories of our first meeting."

I nodded, and again he took my hands in his.

Damn, this man was warm.

"Trust me, the only thing I'd remember negatively would be a kidnapping where I didn't get the promised hot chocolate by the fireplace and a history lesson from your philosophy books at the end."

The words came easily from my lips. It was as if we were in the chat and even though I was nervous, I managed to be J . And that felt...good.

Was that the effect of Gloria's serum?

"Does the kidnapped lady have any book wishes?"

"She'd like to know more about Atlantis."

His smirk softened, and he looked down at our hands. And he hesitated...

"Are you all right?" I asked in uncertainty.

Had I said something wrong?

"I often have wild theories, J, whose origins I can't explain to you. You'd call me crazy..." he began and stroked my hand, lost in thought. "In real life, I think I'm someone you wouldn't like."

My heart suddenly felt heavy. He had the same worries as I did. And I highly doubted that I would ever be able to dislike this person in front of me.

"I'm shy in real life..." I revealed with hesitation, looking down with warm cheeks.

He paused. I felt his gaze on me, but glanced at his masculine hands.

He began to run his fingers over the back of my hand again, drawing patterns. Circles that turned into spirals. His warm skin felt so good on my own and I imagined them painting random patterns on other parts of my body too.

A tingling sensation ran over my skin.

I bit my lower lip.

He was my best friend.

I struggled with myself not to continue these thoughts, but I blushed. Luckily, it was dark.

"You know you can be anything with me that you're not allowed to be in your real life," he said softly, extending his scope to my arm, which was resting on my bare knee in front of him. "I'm not judging you. Quite the opposite... I admire you for the woman you are."

Woman . He saw a woman in the insecure girl in front of him.

"Erik..." I began, because I didn't want him to flatter me like that.

I didn't deserve words like that.

"I mean it." He looked straight at me again. "You inspire me to do so much in my life, distract me from this painful reality."

"I shouldn't."

He shook his head slightly.

"Without you, J, I'd be lifeless inside," he said quietly, almost without a sound.

I looked at him in question, but he probably couldn't see it, even though the warm lantern light from the parking lot was shining directly into my face. The masks took away both our expressions.

"There's no reason to," I replied gently and placed my hands on his, which landed directly on my bare knee. His warmth almost drove me out of my mind, sending pleasant flashes up my thighs.

"There are many," he said softly, and there was something sad about it.

He had told me a lot about himself, about the pressure from his family and the pressure he put on himself...

"But I don't want to burden you with that tonight." His fingers continued to paint, this time on my knees, sending a flash through my whole body. I flinched, and he withdrew his hands, but I retrieved them and placed them on my knees.

Whatever we were doing here, I wasn't going to question it. We were friends, but if this felt good... why not?

He was the first person whose touch overwhelmed me in a positive way.

"I want you to enjoy this time," I whispered, trying to catch his gaze in the darkness.

Erik glanced up, looking me straight in the eye.

Suddenly, I felt something rough and warm on my cheek and when I realized it was his hand, I sucked in a sharp breath.

His thumb stroked the edge of the mask, his index finger ran along my jawline, causing a tingling sensation to rush over the areas he touched, and his palm gently brushed my lips.

He didn't need to say anything. Because that was the second when I realized that the term friendship was miles away from what described us at that moment.

Erik seemed to be thinking the same thing, because he gently gripped my jaw and carefully pulled my face toward him, only to touch my lips with his own a few seconds later.

He sighed overwhelmed against my lips, which sent an electric wave through my stomach, and then he kissed me with such tenderness that I threatened to break under all the rising emotions.

I never thought that someone else's lips could feel so soft, that Erik's lips were so gentle and that I would ever kiss him .

Erik bit my lower lip lightly, and I couldn't suppress a soft sigh. That little pain felt cathartic. I needed more...

It had been too much for both of us. The kiss intensified, and he let me feel the fullness of his lips, taking mine between his and sucking lightly on them.

Our tongues played with each other, slowly at first, then more and more demanding, until he moved his other hand, which had been resting on my knees until now, and approached the hem of my dress.

He bit my lower lip and I sighed again, this time more longingly.

Erik seemed to notice that I liked the way he was touching me, and so his hands continued to wander over my thighs, drawing more circles on my skin as if I were his work of art. And I let him paint, let him send little flashes across my skin.

" God , J , your skin is so soft and your heart is beating so damn fast..."

I leaned closer to his ear. "The latter is your fault."

Then, without warning, he pulled me onto his lap with one arm and let the other hand continue to paint.

And then I moved my fingers to his neck, letting them wander over the striking Adam's apple and up to the contours of his chin. While he also shakily inhaled the air, I felt the freshly shaved skin and approached the mask. But I paused and returned to his lips, enjoying the unfamiliar warmth under my finger.

"These masks are a sign of the game we're playing," he whispered, and I recognized the gleam in his eyes for the first time – bright eyes. "Tell me, J, when are we going to stop playing?"

The answer hurt, which was why I wouldn't say it. Instead, I rested my forehead against his.

"I don't want us to have to think about our reality right now." My fingers traveled down his neck, toward his shirt collar. "I want you ."

He exhaled audibly. A sound that played with my emotions and made my fingers automatically move to the buttons of his shirt.

I undid the first, then the second, not without maintaining eye contact.

"What are you doing to me?" Erik sighed, leaning forward to my cheek, kissing me gently. His lips moved down to my neck, making my body tremble.

But that wasn't enough for me. I wanted to explore him. Completely .

"J, we don't have to..." he sighed, but I placed a finger on his lips, finally letting my hands wander over his muscular back and pulling him to me so that we kissed again.

With each kiss, something in my chest seemed to lighten.

I only had this one night, this one chance to be physically close to someone I felt safe with, someone I might never see again...

The panic inside me about losing what we had here forced the next words out of me.

"I want to be as close to you as I can."

Little did he know that I would probably never see him again, that we were not made for eternity.

I didn't dare to say it, but I could see it in his eyes. He knew that we only had this moment.

" Please , Erik..." I begged, barely audible, aware that I was going to lose him. And this pain hit me harder than I expected.

He pressed his forehead gently against mine again and whispered, "Anything you want, my Charis ."

Hearing him call me by that nickname in his warm, rough voice made my knees shake, and I was glad to be sitting on his lap.

He kissed me again and his hands wandered to my back, slowly opening my dress and bra at the same time, brushing the fabric over my shoulders.

He kissed my shoulders so gently, as if I might break, working his way up my neck and I gasped in arousal, wanting his kisses to hit me harder, to make me collide.

His arms were the only place I could allow myself to fall. And damn it, I wanted to fall.

When Erik arrived at my chin, I turned my head toward him. Our lips met again and this time he grabbed my hair at the back of my head, pushed my head toward him and the kiss became more intense.

I felt him suck on my bottom lip, biting into it slightly, making me sigh into the kiss until we both broke away from it.

"I wish I could see you better..." Erik sighed breathlessly, brushing my dress lower and eyeing my breasts. I thought I recognized a sparkle in his eyes before his fingertip touched my right nipple.

I gasped, overwhelmed.

And he stared at my increasingly hard nipple. Then he leaned forward and... kissed it.

I moaned, and once more, as he closed his lips around the nipple and squeezed gently.

He made a smoky sound and pressed his lips harder against the sensitive spot until it hurt, but I didn't want him to stop.

"Erik..." I groaned, trembling, and he began to suck on the tip of my nipple, making a deep demanding sound.

I moaned louder, clawing at his shirt.

He pulled my dress off completely, over my hips, until it fell silently to the floor of his car without taking his lips off my breasts for even a second.

I buried my hands in his hair, but when that didn't help anymore, I unbuttoned his shirt further and let it slide down over his shoulders.

My fingers wandered over his muscular arms as the shirt slid further down, and I watched his muscles press against the smooth skin.

They responded to me as I responded to him.

It was like our bodies were made for each other...

" Damn, J , when I'm done with you, you're going to glow with heat," he whispered hoarsely.

I sighed with longing and let my hands wander further down to his pants, where they encountered a hard bulge.

Erik gasped, overwhelmed, and I pushed him back into the seat, maintaining eye contact as I stroked his hardness with my fingers.

It was as if his erection was pulsating, which caused my breathing to become shallower.

"Do you want to play with me?" he growled with a dark laugh and grabbed my wrist, making me pause over his hardness.

Without hesitation, I pulled on the zipper of his trousers and let my hand wander inside. I tugged at his boxers until I hit something big and hard of warmth and Erik let out a groan that got under my skin, so I closed my hand completely around his length until he clawed into the leather of his car seat.

"What are you doing to me?" he gasped in a quivering voice.

The corners of my mouth moved up, and I let go of him to pull his pants and boxers down further, revealing his bulging erection.

I bit my lower lip, which he seemed to notice despite the darkness, and he watched me longingly, waiting to see what I would do next.

I stretched out my hand and let my fingers dance over his cock, curious, because I had never touched a man like this before. But it excited me immensely to circle his glans with my fingertip and slide over the wet tip until my fingers became wet.

I liked the way he moaned and twitched under my hand.

I let go of him and moved closer to his massive chest on his lap.

"With a condom?" he asked and I inhaled sharply.

The thought that he was about to push inside me robbed me of my sanity.

I immediately shook my head. "I'm on the pill."

He smiled gently. "All the better." He kissed the tip of my nipple and I whimpered eagerly. "I like the idea to cum inside you until everything drips out of you."

I whimpered, aroused by the images he was chasing through my head.

He seemed to be having the same thoughts because his eyes sparkled with excitement.

Then, grabbing my chin, he pulled me toward him, tighter than when we'd started.

"It hurts that I can only give you a fragment of me at this moment..." he whispered against my ear. "In the back of a fucking car." He laughed softly. "But someday, you'll be mine for more than one night, and then I'll give you everything you deserve." He leaned even closer to my ear. "Promise me, J."

I sighed. And I struggled with myself.

How could I promise him something that I could never fulfill with certainty?

"Just this one promise..." He pulled my body toward him and I felt his hardness against my stomach, felt the little drop of precum running down my skin, that he was ready. Just like me.

He stroked my body with a smile and I felt completely safe in his embrace, never wanting to leave, never again . "Otherwise, it will break my heart not to have given you everything."

He continued to draw, hugging me tighter until I could only whimper a soft "I promise".

I knew he wanted to push himself inside me, but I was quicker and pushed him against the seat.

He hadn't expected that because he gasped.

I smiled playfully. It was as if I was in control . A new, pleasant feeling.

"Relax," I said and positioned myself directly over his cock, which was stretched hard toward me, ready to sink into me, to fill me from the inside. I knew this was what he wanted, that he wanted to be inside me. "Just enjoy it."

I let my one hand wander over his muscular torso, grazing over his steely abs, which quivered as much as his smooth hardness. He was tense, waiting for me to release him.

"Your panties are in the way..." Erik growled, staring at the white lace panties.

I let my free hand dance over the waistband and undid the two buttons above my clit that this underwear set had.

"Not anymore..." I whispered.

He stared at my now opened underwear.

" J , you're torturing me," he whispered hoarsely, gazing into my eyes.

I still couldn't see him clearly, but that didn't stop me from wetting my fingertip and hovering it over his stomach, moving it back to his hard glans.

As I touched him with my wet finger he began to moan, watching my finger, letting me play as another shiny droplet formed on the smooth tip.

I must have gone too far, because he grabbed my hips with both hands and pushed me down against him, slowly pushing himself inside me.

I moaned loudly, without restraint, and opened my lips desperately while Erik watched every millimeter of my face.

" Fuck, J , you're so wet..." he growled darkly. "Do you want me to cum right now?"

I leaned closer to his ear, completely dazed by the way he filled me up. "This is your fault."

I felt him inside me, warm, hard and like he was a perfect fit. It hurt slightly, but it was a relieving pain.

Very slowly, without breaking eye contact, I lifted myself off him and we both moaned sensually. Just before he could slip away from me, I lowered myself back onto him and felt him slide smoothly into me, causing me to whimper.

He grinned, and his big, warm hands gripped my butt, digging into my skin as I began to slowly move up and down. I moaned sensually and surrendered to the new sensation, rotating my hips, enjoying his hardness.

"J..." he moaned my name and it sounded breathtakingly good.

I wanted to enjoy this, wanted to lose myself in his body, give him everything .

And again, and again he thrust his plump hardness into me, filling me up, while his hands first kneaded my bottom, only to wander back to my breasts.

"J..." Erik moaned again. I rose up again until he was completely out, only to sit on him again and let him slide into me as far as he could go.

I enjoyed his pleasure-filled moans, how he wanted more, how I had control over how much he got. I wanted him to have it all, but I wanted to decide what that looked like.

With his strong hand on my back, he pushed me toward him, took my nipples in his mouth again and sucked on them as I moved up and down, but I pulled back.

He moaned in frustration, wanting to grab my back again, but I pushed him back into the seat and paused.

"Lean back, Erik..." I sighed and pushed him further into the seat with my hand on his chest.

Erik laid his head back on his neck, moaning desperately as if this was causing him serious pain.

"I'll do what you want, just please release me..."

"Look at me," I demanded, lifting my head.

"How could I not," he murmured hoarsely and lifted his head from his neck, reaching out a hand to touch my stomach before sliding his hand down. Deeper. Deeper still, until he rested two fingers on my slit, which opened for him almost of its own accord. "The only question is whether you can withstand my gaze when I torture you the way you torture me." And suddenly he slid his fingers inside me. So agonizingly slowly that I contracted around him and had to arch my back.

I moaned without relent, while he slid inside me with his fingers again and again.

"There you go. Moan for me, my Charis." He let his other hand wander to my chin. "And don't forget to keep eye contact."

The right corner of his mouth moved up, and there was something devilish about it, something that made me stop, because at the same time he pulled his fingers out of me and... brought them to his lips.

Watching every movement of my expression, he opened his lips and let his fingertips disappear between them before moaning with pleasure.

Damn, what was he doing to me?

He let go of his lips, pulled me jerkily toward him, and positioned me over his now even harder cock.

"And now fuck me, faster ," he demanded.

He wanted to push me down and God, how much I wanted it, too , but I held onto his shoulder so that he couldn't push me any further.

"Ask me to..." I whispered.

"Please, J," he growled low.

I smiled in satisfaction and sat down, letting him slide into me again far too slowly before I granted his request, moving up and down faster and faster.

He gasped, cursed something, and I rubbed myself harder and harder against his sliding dick, the sound intensifying both of our moans.

"J... I want to cum inside you," he whispered, and I didn't stop. His words only made me even more eager.

"Then cum inside me," I whispered out of breath, but it turned into a begging, because the feeling in my center became more and more intense, pulsating with violence.

Unexpectedly, everything inside me tightened, and it felt as if something was going to explode inside me. I whimpered and Erik moaned more and more until his cock suddenly twitched uncontrollably inside me and we both stopped moving.

He was twitching under me. Once, twice, three times, and with each time I felt it getting warmer inside me.

He came inside me, and I didn't want it to stop.

But when the twitching subsided, my trembling also faded and we both gasped for air.

That was the moment when he pulled me to him and pressed his wet lips to my dry ones.

He kissed me hard, demanding, completely out of breath, while his warm cum was dripping out of my pussy.

Pain, longing, and desire became one with all the things that Erik triggered in me. The inner emptiness disappeared completely with every kiss until he pressed me so tightly against him, wrapped his arms around me so pleadingly, and buried his hands in my hair. All I could feel was him and his rapid heartbeat.

Erik lay beneath me. He was bare-chested, and I was fully clothed again. He let his fingers wander tenderly through my hair, stroking it from my forehead, behind the back of my ear, where I felt the band of the mask… painfully .

My head rested on his chest, listening to his rapid heartbeat, and for the first time I inhaled his scent.

A woody, indescribably sensual note. It wasn't cologne he was wearing. It was his body scent that calmed me down inside.

"I've often thought you were a dream, J," he whispered softly. "The kind that makes you wake up and want to go straight back to sleep." I looked up, and our eyes met in the darkness. "But it doesn't work, you know? You lie down every night and gradually lose that dream from your memory."

There was something sad in his voice. And I felt the reality approaching in an unpleasant way. I wanted to push it away, but the panic inside me was stronger.

"I'm real , Erik," I whispered back, as if I could hold him in our little bubble.

"Now, in this moment." He smiled, and there was something sad about it. "But tomorrow I'll lie in my bed, open my eyes, and you'll be gone."

An icy feeling spread through me. It was as if I was losing him again at that very moment.

His fingers wandered from my forehead over the mask, along the edges.

"I would love to take it off. To see you for once ."

I felt my nervousness return, and with it the coldness in my fingertips. It was so sudden that it felt like a shock. And it reminded me that I wasn't J . I was Julie Blair.

I couldn't let Erik know who I was. That would destroy the boundaries I had set. Boundaries I had drawn to protect him. This damn mask was my reality. As much as it hurt.

"I can't..." I said carefully and straightened up, but he held me tight.

"Leave the mask on, just please …" He pulled me toward him again. "Please, don't go."

I felt tears in my eyes, and then coldness shot into my fingers, more and more. Suddenly, I saw fine ice crystals forming on the car door, moving up the windshield, and...

No .

My eyes widened, and I began to shiver.

"J, are you okay?" Erik asked, leaning up to me, but I backed away.

Gloria's Salma seemed to be losing its effect, because images came flooding back. Images of the most horrible moments of my life. Images of the day when someone had had control over me .

"What's wrong?" Erik continued to ask, but as much as I wanted to, I couldn't respond to him.

"Don't be stubborn like your mother and lie down!"

The man in my head leaned over me, and my stomach began to cramp.

I got a slight nausea and more ice crystals spread under my fingers. It was getting colder around us.

I couldn't put Erik in danger. I had to get out of here.

Without another word, I pulled away from him and pushed against the car door. Erik pulled up, but I was already groping for the car door, pulling the handle down and pushing it open.

"J..." Erik began, confused.

I stumbled out of the big car, stumbling backwards.

Then I darted around and hurried across the large parking lot in remorse, clutching the bag tightly in my hands as it froze in my fingers.

"J!" I heard Erik shout and looked around one last time. I tried to memorize every detail. A young man who deserved better. Erik didn't belong in such a brutal life. I should never have met him...

God ...what had I done? How had I ever thought I deserved all this? To just take it for myself?

I had destroyed our friendship.

I turned and ran, sprinted, stumbled panting into the stormy night, hoping that I would never – and yet somehow – forget him.