Chapter 55

Julie

"I hate it!" Grace threw her notes to the floor. "How am I supposed to learn all this crap when I have absolutely no clue about the basics?"

She looked stressed.

Normally, Grace was cheerful and easily swallowed discomfort. But right now, Grace wasn't being rational, and that's what made it so hard for me to understand her.

"What's wrong?" Bayla asked.

She looked up from her black notebook, where she had started making countless notes since last Thursday. Mostly a few moments after she'd asked me or Grace questions.

I had a bad feeling that – if we really had to erase her memory – we would have to get rid of this book too.

"I hate statistics!" Grace looked angrily at her binders, which were now strewn all over the floor. "I wish I was a Fire Quatura and all this was on fire."

I looked up in surprise away from my puppy, who had just rolled over on my blanket.

He was cute, but he was nibbling on all sorts of things. But I couldn't be angry with him because he was still so small and every time, he scratched his ear with his little paws and tipped to the side, my heart melted.

I'd only had the little guy for a week, but already I got on better with him than with anyone else here.

It was relaxing to run through his soft fur or play with him.

My mother had taken him to her heart first when I had brought him to Moenia, which had immediately turned me off. She had stroked him and played with his little ears until I had simply picked him up and disappeared into my room with him.

Amara had asked Grace why she had brought such a hairy troublemaker into the house and told her that we both had enough on our plates and couldn't take care of a dog, but Grace had argued that it was my dog and I could manage it.

"Julie would need a few more friends."

"Very funny," I had replied, but Grace had been serious.

She often wanted me to meet up more with the other Quatura because socializing within the Circle was important. Unfortunately, I didn't function that way. I had Grace, Erik, and now a little dog who seemed to be looking for attention.

Buddy sat up and shook himself before he slipped off my bed and pranced across the floor to disappear through the open door.

"Then change your major. You still have the chance."

Bayla made it sound like it would be so easy.

"We both would have liked to study something else..." I said and reached for my smartphone.

Bay looked at me with a slight grin, but I tried to make it clear to her with a begging look not to make any hints so obvious in front of Grace.

My heart leapt when I read who had texted me.

I had to smile a little.

"And why didn't you do it then?"

"Believe me, if we were allowed to, we would have. But there are duties we have to fulfill before we can do what we want," Grace laughed without really laughing. An expression I never understood why people used it, perhaps to be sarcastic?

Grace's curly hair bobbed up and down in her fury. She gathered up all the pieces of paper again and threw them on her bed.

"The dog can pee on it for all I care," she hissed angrily. "He seems to mistake our beds for his toilet anyway."

"Don't tell me that's what this Circle wants..."

Bayla had put the notebook down on her legs and was now wide-eyed.

I nodded in confirmation before answering Erik with warmed cheeks.

"Have you ever actually rebelled? Did you do what you wanted? I mean, they can't forbid you to lead your own lives, can they?"

I wished from the bottom of my heart that this would be possible, but unfortunately it wasn't that simple. The Circle was our top priority. Had to be our priority...

"We can't afford something like that. If you only knew how many duties I have."

I looked up again. "Grace, I don't have any fewer duties."

"I guess you do. I wish we could swap for a day. Then you'd know how hard it is to have to fulfill your role as part of the prophecy."

Her words made me tremble inside, not out of disappointment at her misjudgment, but because it reminded me why I wouldn't wish anyone to have to step into my shoes. The terror in my head, all the duties and the role I had to play for Gloria and Grace. What Gloria did to us Air Quatura…

My hands got cold again, and I felt like I was drifting off.

"Don't say that," I said in a shaky voice.

I hated that my voice broke so often.

My mind wandered painfully back to all the Quatura in my life. Margot, Vivienna, Amber, Gloria... They all reminded me that I was a failure. At least Grace should see that she had it better than me. But that wasn't going to happen.

Grace fitted into the system and I continued to keep my head above water.

" Leave it , Julie!" Her voice got louder. " I have the right to complain because it's about me ! I wish it wasn't about me, but this whole prophecy is such a damn burden!"

She looked at me in anger and it hit me. She was never loud with me, never, unless it was about this ridiculous prophecy. She knew it confused me, only she'd probably forgotten that I couldn't handle that amount of emotion.

"Honestly, you could even study what you want. You're just not doing it because of Gloria , even though that woman doesn't even care about your private life. So, stop pretending you're in exactly the same position as me!"

Her words hit me with unexpected pain, stabbing through my heart like a rough finger through a soap bubble.

But I couldn't defend myself. Something inside me was blocked. All I was able to do was my usual attempts to calm her down.

"Grace, please . You're making a big deal out of this. That damn prophecy shouldn't limit you. You don't always have to try to be perfect just to fit into this picture."

Grace didn't seem to take my words the way I wanted them to come across. She gave me a furious glare.

"Okay, guys, relax for a second. What kind of prophecy is this all about?"

Bay seemed to have been watching our argument.

"How can you say something like that!"

Grace had to be in a rage. To the point that I couldn't even start talking because she was already turning around before disappearing through the door, which crashed into the lock.

I flinched.

"Grace!" I shouted, but my voice broke.

Grace was gone and with her my chance to explain myself better. I had never spoken out against the prophecy before, but what Grace was doing was too much. For her, for me.

"Could someone please enlighten me?"

I looked at Bay, who was still sitting in the corner, her face full of questions.

"There's this prophecy," I sighed and flopped back into the soft pastel blue cushion. "It says that there will be a chosen one, a baby, who will change the fate of the species. Anyway, the Circle thinks Grace could be part of this prophecy because of her strong earth magic, which is why she's been preparing for this role all her life."

"And what exactly is Grace's role?"

"From what I understand, she is supposed to have a child when the time comes, preferably with a male Quatura. And that child will take on the most important part of the prophecy, namely saving Blairville."

I thought about how annoying it must be to carry so many expectations on your shoulders, as Grace did. Immediately, I felt sorry for how I had just reacted.

"Wait, what? She's supposed to have a baby?"

I nodded, but then thought again about how strange that fact must sound. Bayla seemed to think the same.

"Your cult wants to impregnate her?"

"Who should get impregnated?"

Larissa stood in the doorway.

I felt the blush rise in my cheeks.

I almost said no one , but luckily Bay was quicker.

"We were just talking about dogs."

I was impressed by how casually she could lie. But I was even more impressed by Larissa's indifference.

"Whatever... Can someone explain to me what's going on with Grace? She's just been running around the residential complex like a madwoman and completely ignored me."

I looked at Bay, hoping she'd lie for me one more time.

"She's not that excited about her major," it came from Bayla.

At least it wasn't a lie.

"I think I'd go hang myself if I majored in economics. I'm already fed up with the minor," Larissa complained, tossing her shiny long hair over her shoulder, revealing her high cheekbones.

Today, she was wearing a black lace top under her leather jacket, which softly framed her chest and made her breasts stand out a little.

I hoped she knew how pretty she was.

She walked lightly across the room and flopped down on my bed, which – by the way – she did often. It was okay because I had gotten used to it.

Her own gray-covered bed was full of photos, papers, and pens because she didn't seem to get along well with desks. On the wall above her bed were beautiful photos of various places at Vanderwood University, the kind you could only see in very brief moments. Namely, when you perceived this place as a university and not as the enemy's territory.

I realized how longing was rising in me, and I looked back at my phone.

I didn't know how to answer that. Since the day he had opened up to me and told me about his family, we hadn't said a word about Greek gods, even though he had wanted to tell me about Atlantis.

A lost city... How ironic that we both lived in one that had probably come close to sinking several times.

Out of nowhere, images of my last temple session with Gloria flashed through my mind and I tried to blink them away, but fell into a stupor without success.

Gloria had made me forget on Friday afternoon, had once again taken away my feelings, but by now my body was so used to it that the forgetting part no longer worked so well, but the numbness part did. I felt partly dependent on the stuff she gave me because it not only made me feel empty, but also less vulnerable. Something that enabled me to survive my time in Moenia without completely breaking down.

Funnily enough, there was only one thing the serum couldn't erase. If anything remained, it was the warmth that my friendship with Erik brought me.

"Do you get paid to be a drama queen here?" Larissa asked without taking her eyes off her camera. "If so, I'd like to apply." Then she turned a cog. "And I thought Blairville really was a bucket with a hole in it. But there seems to be quite a lot going on here."

I had a feeling she was hinting at something, but dismissed the idea. Bay wouldn't tell her anything. Grace had talked to her.

Bay looked at me, then back down at her book.

"One question, Julie... What made your family so rich?"

I looked at Larissa in wonder, because if there was one question I had never expected, it was this one.

"Why do you want to know?" I asked slowly, and noticed that Bay was looking at Larissa as if she had just said something she shouldn't have.

"Everyone knows you're rich. It's no secret," Larissa continued, tilting her head with a knowing look.

I immediately thought of the business Amara always discussed with us at the table. Everything to prepare us. But I also knew what another one of our more official main sources of business was.

"Maple syrup," was all I said and looked down at my cell phone, where the message from Erik had arrived in the meantime.

I'm sure he wanted to text me tonight, and there's nothing I'd rather do than that. Couldn't we just sink into a never-ending discussion about Greek myths?

His message arrived.

My breath stopped. My eyes widened.

Larissa snatched the phone out of my hand.

"Oh my God!"

Larissa looked at me as if I had found out who Erik was.

I took my cell phone from her hand in a panic and read it again to make sure I hadn't misread it.

I hadn't replied, which is why he had sent another message.

"What is it?" Bayla asked, closing the book and standing up.

"You won't believe what Erik just texted her."

"Now come on..." Bay came over and sat down next to me. I let her read, because it was too late anyway.

"What?!" She looked at me, smiling. "This is your chance!"

Erik wanted to meet me. Here. In Blairville.

It was only now that my body realized what exactly was happening. I started to tremble slightly, which Larissa noticed and put a hand on my arm.

"It's not a big deal. And the Halloween party as a meeting place is your opportunity!"

She sounded excited and started to type something, but I snatched the phone out of her hand in a panic, nearly dropping it because my trembling hands became sweaty.

"No!" I gasped and checked to see if she had already sent it. Luckily, she hadn't. But Erik was still online and must have seen it, because now he was texting.

"You have to!" Larissa squealed euphorically and jumped up to snatch the phone out of my hand again to type something.

I tried to snatch it from her, but she was already pressing send.

"What have you done?" I asked in shock and read her message.

I held my breath. Of course , I would love to, but I would never have...

What had Larissa done?

I immediately felt bad because I had almost said no. What kind of lousy friend was I?

"Guys, I really can't do this."

I threw the phone aside and put my head in my hands. Panic spread through me.

If I met Erik, I would open a whole new door...

"Why not? I'm sure you want to see him too. If I were you, I'd be bursting with curiosity."

That was easy for Larissa to say. Yes , I wanted to meet him. But everything was fine the way it was. Did I really want to ruin what we currently had?

"Are you scared of him?" Larissa asked, and I looked up, startled.

"No..." I said hesitantly. I would never be afraid of Erik.

"Then meet him at the party and everything will be fine!"

"You don't understand," I said and started playing with my fingers.

"I think she likes it the way it is, being anonymous," Bay stated.

At least someone who understood me.

Larissa looked at me thoughtfully.

"Oh, sorry..." Larissa finally said. "But this can't go on forever with you two. You must want more one day."

I looked at her, startled.

When would she finally realize that Erik and I were just friends?

"Larissa!" Bay said and kicked her in the shin.

"Ouch! Girl , what are you doing?"

"Don't always be so direct!" Bayla warned her with a serious look before turning to me.

"I have an idea, Julie," she said, and I looked up, hoping it wouldn't get any worse.