3. Cj

CJ

“There’s my boy.” The small woman bustled toward me as I entered the kitchen.

“Hey, Ma.” I dropped my duffle bag on the floor and enfolded her in a bear hug. “You sure you don’t mind me staying?”

She stood up on tiptoes to kiss my cheek, so I bent to accommodate her. As soon as she stepped back, she swatted at my chest with the towel in her hand. “Of course not. This is your home. You know better. I washed your sheets and remade your bed, so it’s all ready for you.”

“Mom, you didn’t have to do that. I am grown.” She’d never asked why sometimes I stayed with her between jobs or on my nights off and others I didn’t. But she knew Eddie, so maybe she’d guessed that it had everything to do with whether he had company or not. Since Joan had crawled into his bed the night I’d left him at Rafters and seemed to be quite content staying there, I wouldn’t be cock-blocking him.

She patted my cheek. “You’ll always be my baby. Now come in and tell me all about watching that fancy house. Was it creepy being there alone?”

My mind immediately flashed back to my night with Kevin. I wished he’d been able to stay longer than our brief encounter on the stairs, but he’d definitely left a mark on me. The rest of the time I’d spent housesitting in the huge Victorian farmhouse, I’d felt like his ghost had been there haunting me. Thank God for lube and my right hand. “It wasn’t scary at all.”

Mom smirked at me. “What was that grin about? Did you finally meet someone?”

Bending down, I grabbed my duffle. “You wish, lady. Let me put this up in my room, and I’ll be back down.”

“Okay, I’ll pour us a cup of coffee and slice up some lemon cake, and then we can have a nice chat. It feels like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

I rolled my eyes at her exaggeration. It had been six days since I’d been here for Christmas, and we’d talked at least once every day since. “Okay.” There was no point in arguing with her about it. I might have been twenty-six years old, but I’d always be her little boy. I was pretty sure that wouldn’t even change if I found a serious partner or got married. Maybe if I had a child, which would be nice, but I wasn’t having much luck on the dating front, so I wouldn’t hold my breath.

Thoughts of men sent me back to the adorable guy from the other night. I threw my bag on the floor of my room and sat down on my bed. I’d done a quick check of his hand before taking him back to the farmhouse and hadn’t seen a ring, so I was pretty sure he’d been honest that he wasn’t with someone.

Hell, he’d been so earnest, I couldn’t imagine him lying about something like that. It was too bad that whatever he had going on in his life made him a one-and-done kinda guy. I’d have loved to get to know him better. He hadn’t been much older than me, and his lean build, curly black hair, and vivid green eyes had drawn my attention the minute he’d stepped into Rafters.

When he’d started chatting with the first guy he’d met that night, I’d been so disappointed. Not upset that he was obviously out looking to meet a man. No. That part had made me ridiculously happy. It was the fact that I couldn’t just abandon my friend Eddie after being the one to ask him to dinner. Since he was fresh out of a relationship, that would have been a dick move. Ugh.

I wasn’t ashamed to admit to myself that when the first gentleman walked away from Kevin, I’d gotten a thrill since Eddie and me were almost done with our meal. I thought maybe I’d have a shot as long as the cutie stayed around for a minute. Then he’d bought someone else a drink. When I’d seen that dude run off, too, I’d been so confused.

What could such a fine specimen with such a sweet smile be doing that turned these guys off? Me, personally, I was half-ready to drag him into the bathroom, and I hadn’t even spoken to him yet. Then he turned just slightly enough for me to see the red streak running down his shirt.

He’d looked discouraged enough to leave, and Eddie…well, Eddie was the best. He’d nodded toward Kevin and told me I better book it over there before I missed my chance. I should’ve known he’d notice me keeping half an eye on the guy across the bar. Hell, I’d barely acknowledged to myself how closely I’d been watching him. Eddie was always looking, hoping, praying, to meet Mr. or Mrs. Right, though, and he wanted that for me, too. Either they were just looking for a good time, or they didn’t take our job seriously. Whatever.

So far, it seemed like his little hook-up with Joan was showing promise, and she knew exactly what Eddie did for a living. And Kevin, I had a feeling he wouldn’t have cared that I was a manny, either. He’d been embarrassed about going on the prowl with a stained shirt, but other than that, there’d been a lightness about him. The only thing that would’ve made him hotter to me was if he’d said he was a single father. I adored kids, and there wasn’t a better reference for a guy than to be a good parent.

Obviously he took his life seriously since he stayed true to his word and left, even after the hottest fuck I’d ever had. From the look of awe after it was over and the lust still burning in his eyes as I dressed him to leave, I was pretty confident that he’d regretted how brief our interlude was, too. Just my luck that the one person who’d ticked all my boxes wouldn’t be available.

“CJ, where are you?” Mom called up the stairs. “Your coffee’s getting cold.”

“Coming, Ma.” As I stood, I shrugged my shoulders and popped my neck. I needed to leave the black-haired cutie in my rearview mirror. If he’d wanted more, he’d have given me his phone number or asked for mine. There was no point in fixating on what was obviously not meant to be.

Mom sat at the table by the time I got downstairs. I slid into the seat next to hers where she’d placed my coffee. “So, what are you up to today?”

“A little of this, a little of that. If you’re available, maybe we can do something.” She arched a brow inquisitively.

I grinned. “Sounds like a plan to me. Until the agency calls, I don’t have anything on my plate. I really am sorry I need to use my old room again.”

“I don’t know why you always apologize. Sometimes things happen. There’s no reason for you not to come home.”

I wouldn’t argue with her since there was no point. As a grown-ass man, I shouldn’t have to stay with my parents, but with my career choice, I didn’t need to rent an apartment or anything, so when I was between jobs, it left me adrift. Eddie and Chuck were awesome about letting me stay at their apartment, and if they had more than two-bedrooms, I’m pretty sure it would be mine if I wanted it, but I didn’t like to intrude when they were both dating someone.

In the past, I’d had another gig lined up before the one I was on finished, but the husband of the family I’d been working for had been transferred, and everything had moved really quickly. I’d been with them for almost two years, and they’d asked me to go with them, but they were heading across the country, and I liked being close to my family. Hopefully, the agency I used for referrals and placement would have something for me sooner rather than later.

Kevin

My mom would be heading backto Florida tomorrow, so I took advantage of her being at my house to run into the office. I’d expected everyone to be gone by one PM on New Year’s Eve, but I should’ve known better. My best friend, George’s car sat alone in the parking lot beside the administration building. Upon entering, I sought him out first.

“You’re going to be in so much trouble.”

He startled, whipping the readers he’d tried so hard to hide off of his face and shoving them down below the top of his desk. “Kev! You scared the shit out of me. What’re you doing here, man?”

“The question is…what are you doing here? I know Margie had stuff for you to do to prepare for tonight.” Unzipping my coat, I dropped into the guest chair in front of his desk.

He groaned. “Don’t remind me. Why she insists on hosting parties that stress her out, I’ll never understand. Why can’t we have a nice night at home with the kids?”

I chuckled. He was so full of shit. He loved having large gatherings in their home as much as his wife. “How late were you up last night?”

Leaning back in the chair, he scowled at me. “Shut up.”

“Come on. Tell me the truth. There’s no way that you’d still be here now if you hadn’t already set up the extra tables and pulled out everything Margie needed.”

George’s life orbited around his family, and the way he adored his wife was…everything I’d ever wanted in a partner. Unfortunately, watching their relationship had set the bar really high for me, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever meet the right person. Especially after Tom’s bullshit.

“Yes, I was up until two-thirty in the morning checking off every box on the list my wife had for me. Which is why”—he leaned forward—“I noticed that you sent over your report at two-twenty-two AM. Kevin, what the hell, man?”

“What’s the problem?” I asked, confused.

George picked up his pen and started tapping it on the side of the desk. “Look. We need to talk about…” He trailed off as he bit the inside of his cheek.

Dread pooled in my stomach. We’d been given the option to work remotely a couple of years ago. I knew most of our small staff were in the office more than I came in, but unless my mom was in town, or it was for our weekly meeting, I had to bring Lexi with me. I’d thought I’d been doing a good job of staying ahead of my projects and deadlines, but while George was my boss, he didn’t own the tractor company we worked for, so maybe the owner had an issue? “Shit. What am I doing wrong, George? Let me have it. Am I losing my job?”

He dropped the pen, frowning at me. “No, you worrywart. It’s nothing like that. Hell, you get more accomplished working from home than anyone else has. But that’s the problem, my friend. Since Lexi was born, I think your productivity has gone up instead of down. I went in this morning and checked your logs. You’re sending in reports at two, three, four o’clock in the morning, days before they’re due. When are you sleeping?”

I felt my back go up, but I couldn’t help it. My mom had been needling me about the same thing. She offered not to go back to Florida so she could stay and take care of Lexi, but that wasn’t fair. Mom had done her job and raised me already.

When my father’s health started declining, they’d moved to Florida for better weather and so they could be near friends of theirs who’d already made the move. They’d planned on spending their latter years together for as long as I could remember. Luckily, they’d been in a position for Dad to retire early so they could get a start on those plans. In the last years of his life, they’d created a home and expanded their friend group down south. It wasn’t fair to expect her to uproot and come back here any more than she already did to see her granddaughter.

“I sleep,” I said stiffly.

He shook his head. “I don’t know how. Look, I’m not trying to give you a hard time.” He flipped the glasses that he’d still been hiding in his lap onto the desk and leaned onto his forearms. “As your boss, I couldn’t be happier. But as your friend, I’m worried. Margie’s worried.”

“Margie?” Why in the world would she be worried? I came into the office one morning a week for a staff meeting, and most of the time, she kept Lexi during them. My coworkers loved when I brought my daughter in and spoiled her rotten, but now that she was a little older, it was harder for everyone to concentrate when she was around. Her personality demanded attention.

“Yes, you know Margie, my wife. She doesn’t understand how you’re doing it with no help. We functioned like a well-oiled machine when we were both home, but I worked all day, and you know she still had things she was involved in. So we hired help. You know that’s how we met our friend Josie. We found her through a service, and now she’s become like part of the family. She still stays with the kids when we go away.”

I shook my head. “But you and Margie had three children really close together.” And they were great kids. My friends were doing a wonderful job as parents. “I only have Lexi.”

George’s big laugh barreled out of him, and I smiled despite my irritation at our conversation. His laughter had always been loud and contagious. It was one of the first things I’d noticed about him when I’d been hired on here at twenty-two years old.

We’d gone from coworkers to fast friends, and we’d both risen up in the small company through the years. He and Margie had several years on me, but they were as spirited and fun now as they’d been the day I met them. “Your daughter is like having three mini-people. I love her, but she was born with excess energy.”

He wasn’t wrong there, but shouldn’t I be able to handle one child—my only baby—by myself without help? “I hear what you’re saying, I do, but I think I’m managing fine.”

He held up his hand. “I don’t want to argue with you. I’m not saying that you’re not getting along, but Margie gave me the name and number of the place she used. I think you should think about it.” He slid a piece of paper across the desk toward me. “Listen, we all know that bastard ex of yours has made this a touchy subject for you. No one is saying that you’re failing or not rocking at this fatherhood thing because you are. We just want to see you get some sleep and be able to enjoy your time with Lexi without being dead on your feet from working all night. You know?”

Forcing myself to relax, I exhaled and leaned forward to take the paper. “I hear you. Mom’s been saying the same thing.”

He nodded. “I know. We talked about it on Christmas Eve.”

I stuck my tongue out at him. “I should’ve known you’ve all been conspiring behind my back.”

His head bobbled. “Yeah, you really should’ve. Now get out of here. I wanted to finish this one thing up while the office is quiet before I head home. And you need to get finished and home, too. My wife expects you guys tonight, if only to be able to say goodbye to your mom.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” With a smile, I held up the agency name and number so he’d know there were no hard feelings from everyone poking into my business. “Thanks for this.”

“Welcome. Now use that number.”

I made my way into the space I shared with two of my coworkers. They worked under me, but only Brian was in the office most days since he was the technician who dealt with any inner-office computer issues.

Sitting at my desk, I stared at the piece of paper. I’d been determined to raise Lexi from home and on my own. With the flexibility of my job, I hadn’t expected that to be a problem. And it wasn’t as long as I didn’t mind never sleeping again. Or at least for the next three years when she’d start elementary school. But I’d made the decision when Tom left that I could raise my child on my own. Shouldn’t I be able to push through and do the do?

I understood George and Margie’s concern, but I only had one child to their three. Yeah, Lexi was a handful, but it was me and her, a team. Sighing, I dropped my head to my desk. No, Lexi was a toddler. My baby was amazing, but she couldn’t, nor should she, help me raise her. I’d told everyone I’d given up hope of finding a partner, so I’d pursued having Lexi alone. But the reality was, when I started dating Tom, I’d been excited thinking I’d have someone by my side. I wanted someone to share this journey with. Someone around to see the silly things Lexi did and to laugh with me after I’d had to discipline her for saying something so wildly inappropriate—and incredibly funny—that I’d had to bite my lips to hide my chuckle from her, but I lost it once she wasn’t looking.

But I also wanted companionship. Why couldn’t I have met CJ instead of Tom back when I still would’ve been free to explore getting to know him. I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him since our encounter, and it wasn’t because his house was big and beautiful, or even because his cock was, too, but he’d been so warm and genuine. He hadn’t made me feel like an idiot for walking around with a stain on my shirt. In fact, he’d made me feel more desirable and wanted than anyone had since those early days with my college boyfriend when he’d just come out and couldn’t keep his hands off of me. Before I found out that he really just couldn’t keep his hands off anyone with a penis and a pulse.

If I contacted this agency, maybe I’d have a little more time to…to sleep. Dating wasn’t in the cards, and I didn’t have CJ’s number anyway. I needed to push him out of my head and focus on Lexi and my job.