12. Worth

Ihad my cock in hand as soon as I entered my bedroom. I leaned back against the door and let my mind go where it wanted. I imagined a private pool, Laurie spread out on a lounger. Me watching him like I had, but this time, I didn't let anything stop me.

I pushed his legs apart, ripped away the scrap of a bathing suit he wore, and joined him on his lounger so I could take his cock all the way down my throat. I sucked him hard as he writhed under me. When he gripped my head, trying to keep me from teasing him, I seized his wrists and pinned them to the arms of the chair.

"Please," he begged.

I shook my head. "All you get to do is feel." I took him back down, working him until he was so close to coming his whole body was tight, tense. I stroked his balls, and he whimpered, the sound making me shudder.

I let his cock slip from my mouth.

"No," he cried. "Please."

I stroked my cock faster and faster. In my mind, Laurie knew exactly what I wanted. He turned around so he could hold on to the back of the chair and stick out his ass. I positioned myself behind him and drove in all the way with one rough stroke. He cried out, and I gripped his hips, thrusting into him again and again.

Fuck. I was so close. I gripped myself tight enough to hurt as I stroked myself furiously, imagining how Laurie would yield to me, open himself up, and beg for more.

Seconds later, I came, shooting over my hand. I let myself slide down the door until I was sitting on the floor, a sticky, worn-out mess. How was I ever going to get through today—much less two weeks—of not touching Laurie?

Because you won't hurt him.

I wouldn't. But did that really mean I couldn't touch him, couldn't enjoy his body, fill him with my cock again, praise him while he writhed under me? What if I….

Do you really think you're going to suddenly become relationship material?

Carter thinks I could.

I considered calling him as I showered and changed, but I rejected the idea. I did not want to talk about Laurie with anyone. I liked that right now he was mine. Besides, Carter would ask pointed questions I wasn't ready to answer.

Well, that wasn't exactly true. I knew some answers, but they scared me, and I was absolutely not going to say them out loud.

I was going to call Miles and find out if they'd made any progress on figuring out why a cartel member had shown up in New York. I wanted to know if they thought the man had intentionally let himself be seen.

Once I dressed in white linen pants and my favorite coral-colored shirt, I placed the call.

"Aren't you supposed to be drunk by a pool?" Miles asked when he answered.

"I've already been by the pool and done plenty of other things today."

Miles snorted. "I'm sure you have."

"Get your mind out of the gutter. I've been shopping."

"Your second favorite pastime."

"Fuck off." I scowled at him even though he couldn't see me.

"Are you enjoying your vacation?" he asked.

"I'm at a five-star resort in Aruba. What do you think?"

"That is a very evasive answer."

I huffed. "You would know."

"Touché."

"Do you know any more about the man from the cartel?"

"Is that really why you're calling?"

Sometimes I hated how perceptive Miles could be. "Yes. I just want to make sure the threat level hasn't risen."

"Don't you think I would call you if it had?"

I sighed. I could pretend all I wanted that I didn't want to talk to my friends about Laurie, but I did. I needed some advice. At least Miles would be the most direct and the least emotional about it. "How did you know?"

"How did I know one of the top cartel members was in town? I already told you?—"

"No, how did you know…with Ben?"

"Jesus Christ, don't tell me you've met someone down there, someone you want spend more than a few hours with."

"Not necessarily. I'm just curious."

"Well, well, well. I would've thought I'd be the last person you'd talk to about that."

"It's because you're rude and cynical that you're the first person I'm talking to about it."

He sucked in his breath. "Shit, Worth. You're serious."

"Yeah. I told myself I wasn't going to say anything."

"Then why did you call?"

"I really did want to know what was going on. I know I'm not involved the same way everyone else is, but…."

"You're just as important to all of us, and if there was more danger that we knew of, we would call you immediately."

"Thanks. I mean, I know that, but?—"

"With a family like yours, it's no wonder you question whether anyone actually cares."

"Wait. Was that a psychologically insightful comment?"

Miles huffed. "It won't happen again."

"You're allowed more insight if it has to do with how you knew you'd fallen for Ben."

"You'll think I'm crazy."

"You're assuming I don't think that already."

"Whoever this man is, he's really got you in a sarcastic mood."

I sighed. "That's what deprivation will do for you."

"Don't tell me you haven't fucked him yet."

"I haven't fucked him a second time yet."

"That's interesting," Miles said. "Are you afraid you'll get too attached?"

"It's more complicated than that."

"How complicated?"

I poured myself some Scotch and took a sip. "You talk first. Why will I think you're crazy—or more crazy than I already think you are?"

"I knew the moment I saw him."

I sucked in my breath. I'd felt the same way. The moment I'd seen Laurie I knew there was something about him, something unlike any of the other men I'd been with. If I was sappier, I'd say his soul spoke to mine. Jesus, that sounded absurd.

"I take it you know the feeling?"

I walked over to the balcony and stepped out. "Kind of."

"Uh huh."

"I don't want anyone else to touch him. I don't want anyone else to even be around him, and I can't imagine not seeing him again after I leave here."

"Is he a local?"

"No."

"Come on, Worth. Who is this man? I've never heard you talk about a man like this."

"I've never been like this. And he's my brother's best friend."

Miles was silent for a moment. I knew he was judging me. "The guy who has the abusive boyfriend?"

"He got away from that asshole. The guy was fucking one of Laurie's friends right in front of him and told him he was being replaced, so he ran, but I don't trust the fucker not to come for him. There's no way he's going back to St. Louis. I'll do whatever it takes to keep him safe."

"Wow. You really do have it bad. How did he end up in Aruba?"

"Laurie called Beck for help, and at the last minute, Beck couldn't come to Aruba, so he sent Laurie in his place."

"He offered him up to you?"

I fucking wish."He told me to make sure he was safe, to take care of him, but not to touch him. I get it. Beck doesn't want me to get involved with Laurie, because he's vulnerable from the hell he went through, and he could easily be hurt by someone like me, someone who never wants to stick around."

"And you completely ignored Beck's logic."

I hated how much colder Miles sounded now. "Not exactly."

"Explain."

"I didn't listen to Beck's messages, and I didn't know who Laurie was when I met him. That's all the detail you need."

Miles hummed. "There's a good story here, and I will get it out of you, but I am not going to do that now because I've got to go to a meeting. Promise me you'll listen if your heart is telling you Laurie is the man for you."

Whoa. That was not what I was expecting him to say.

"Don't ignore your feelings. Do whatever you have to do to keep him."

"Even if it means making my brother hate me?"

"If this is love like I have for Ben, like Carter has for Matteo or Ford for Jay, then Beck isn't going to hate you. He's going to see that you're exactly what Laurie needs."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, and you owe me the full story next time I see you."

"We'll see about that." I ended the call.

I considered putting on another swimsuit and going to one of the other pools. I also thought about renting a car and just going for a drive, but my mind was racing, and I wasn't a great driver at the best of times. I didn't want to be at a pool without Laurie, so I decided the best thing to do was more shopping.