4. Austin

CHAPTER 4

AUSTIN

I stabbed at the down button as I took a calming breath, waiting for the elevator to arrive. All I wanted was to disappear behind closed doors so I could get myself together. Looking at Greer, much less being that close to him, was more painful than any injury I'd ever received. But even though I knew pushing the button a hundred times would not make it arrive any faster, it gave me an outlet for these goddamn feelings pulsing through my body.

Finding Cole and Patrick outside of Greer's office was the last thing I needed. I didn't want anyone to know how much Greer Rowan got under my skin. He was an insufferable asshole who thought his handsome face and sweet words could buy his way back into my good graces.

But he was fucking wrong.

Standing that close to Greer was doing weird things to my head. I could hear my blood rushing in my ears as I ground my teeth around my clenched jaw. I was ready to explode.

Somehow, Greer always managed to find a way to make every neuron in my brain fire at once. And to make things worse, he lit me up like a damn billboard at night. Now I didn't know who I was angrier with, him or myself, for allowing him to have that power over me and my dick.

When the doors finally opened, I sighed in relief and quickly got into the shiny elevator. I pressed the button for the lobby with a little less force and huffed out a breath. "Only this pretentious asshole would have a gold elevator."

I knew that wasn't true, but goddammit, it made me feel better. No matter what, I had to get out of this assignment. GQ would have to put Dreamboat on it. Not me. I was not playing Greer Rowan's anything, no matter how much money he paid, or how much just the thought of it turned me on.

Leaning back, I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples. Why had I been so stupid all those years ago to even think of doing what I'd done? And his reaction was exactly the incendiary for all the rage and hostility I felt toward him. But I also knew holding this grudge was childish. And I couldn't help it.

When the elevator reached the lobby, I strode out and toward the door. But before I was out of the building, I heard a woman calling my name.

"Mr. Wentworth?"

I stopped and turned to face the smiling receptionist. "Yes, ma'am?"

My impeccable manners and upbringing were ingrained in me.

"Mr. Rowan asked me to give you this. He said you forgot to take the itinerary before you left."

My blood boiled a little as I approached the reception desk. She reached for a piece of paper and folded it twice before placing it in an envelope. Smiling, she handed it to me.

"Thank you," I gritted out in my most civil tone. It wasn't her fault she worked for an insufferable asshole. Looking at the unopened envelope, I raised my eyes to hers.

"Do you like working for Mr. Rowan?"

She smiled and nodded. "Very much so. He's the best boss I've ever had. Kind and generous to everyone. Mr. Rowan makes coming to work fun, and the season tickets don't hurt either. He even flew all the staff to the Super Bowl. Not to work, but to enjoy the game as a thank you."

Okay, that was a pretty cool thing to do.

I nodded and looked at the envelope. "Thank you for this. Have a good day, ma'am."

She smiled. "You, too. Are you coming to work with us?"

I shook my head. "No ma'am. Just handling some business."

I waved and headed out the front door toward my Tahoe. My fury was waning, and I needed to talk this out with someone, or I just might explode.

When I was belted into the SUV, I started the engine and turned on the air. I was hot as fuck, even though it was only seventy-five degrees today. Reaching for my phone, I pushed the button to make the call. After two rings, he picked up.

"Hey, asshole. What's up?"

Michael Coleman, aka Phantom, was one of my best friends. He was a cool-tempered, level-headed Southern gentleman and my former SEAL teammate. Since we'd all moved to Portland, he was made the director of security for Fallen Angel, and fell head over heels in love with their tattooed bassist, Adam Spencer.

"Where are you? Want to get a drink?"

Phantom laughed. "It's a little early to start drinking, Dare. What's up?"

I sighed out a heavy breath. "GQ has given me a special assignment that I don't want."

"Really? What is it?" He sounded intrigued. I didn't turn down assignments, and truth be known, I wouldn't turn this one down either. But fuck, I didn't want to put myself in this position again.

"Greer Rowan."

"Oh, fuck," he muttered. "Yeah, okay. Dreamboat and I are finishing up a workout. I'll meet you at Alejandro's for a late lunch. How's that?"

Releasing a deep, calming breath that was not working, I nodded. "Yeah, that works. Bring that asshole with you."

Phantom laughed again. "Like I could leave without him."

I smiled, despite my mood. "See you soon."

Ending the call, I pulled out and headed downtown to Alejandro's Bar.

I'd been seated at the bar top table in the back for about ten minutes when Phantom and Dreamboat came in post-workout. They quickly found me as I took another controlled swallow of my beer.

"Hey, man," Phantom said as he slid onto one of the stools beside me. Dreamboat slid onto the other one with a grin on his face.

"What are you smiling at, asshole?"

"I'm not smiling. This is just my disposition."

"Uh-huh," I muttered as one of the bartenders, Ben Williams, approached the table.

"Hey, guys. How are you?" A genuine smile lit up his face, reaching his warm brown eyes.

Phantom held out a hand to shake his. "I think the better question is how is married life?"

Ben bit his bottom lip, and the smile on his face could not be missed. "It's fantastic. I highly recommend it."

I grunted and took another swallow of my beer.

"Where's your husband?" Dreamboat asked.

"In his office, doing payroll." Turning his attention to Phantom, his expression changed. "How's Patrick?"

"He's doing well. Recovery is slow, but he's getting there."

I wasn't going to mention I'd just seen him. I'd just keep my mouth shut.

"That's good to hear. I know Cole and Adam are relieved."

Phantom smiled. "Yeah, we all are."

The smile returned to Ben's face as he looked at them. "So, what can I get you?"

We ordered burgers and a beer, and when Ben was out of earshot, Phantom looked at me. "What's the deal with Greer Rowan?"

"You mean besides the fact that Dare is hot for him?"

I sent my other best friend, Dreamboat, a death glare. "I am not ‘hot' for the asshole."

They both laughed as I realized what I'd said. "You know what I mean."

Dreamboat put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed. The ugly fucker was right down beautiful and everyone seemed to want him. That's how he got his call sign in BUDs. Anytime we'd go to a bar, Brent had to fight them off with a stick. "Lay it on us."

Ben returned with their beers and placed them on the table, along with the nachos I'd ordered. "Burgers will be out soon."

We thanked him and dove into the appetizer. I told them about the assignment and Greer's preposterous proposition.

"It doesn't sound like a bad gig. I mean, I know you have a history with the guy, but it's just a wedding."

"Wait," Phantom said, wiping his mouth with his napkin. "For your own sanity, I think you need to find a way to get past what happened between the two of you. That was years ago."

I leveled him with one raised brow. "Thanks, Dr. Phil. I'll get right on that."

Dreamboat laughed. "It would be a whole lot easier if you'd just tell us exactly what the fuck happened. You act like a scorned lover or something."

Bile rose in my throat, and I reached for my beer. I don't know why I'd never told them the whole story about what happened. They were my best friends. We'd literally trusted each other with our lives while in the service. But no one knew everything about what happened between Greer and me. And out of sheer embarrassment, I preferred to keep it that way.

"Noooo." Dreamboat dragged out the word as the realization that I'd given myself away set in. "You were doing Greer Rowan? He's so much older than you, but he's hot. All that salt and pepper hair. I bet he'd be a good daddy."

My face screwed up as if I were in pain. "Fuck, no. Shut it. Ain't nobody looking for a daddy."

Phantom laughed. "Your Texas is showing."

I flipped him off and ran a hand over my face. I knew I was going to have to tell them the rest of the story, but it was embarrassing as fuck. I tried to scrub that memory from my head a long time ago, but every time I saw Greer, it came bounding back. Obviously, I was shit at hiding my emotions, and I didn't want to admit the man still had me tied in knots every time he looked at me.

"Just tell us," Phantom said. "We're not going to tell anyone. You know that."

"Sharing is caring," Dreamboat teased.

His time was coming. "You just wait until the commander gets back, pretty boy."

He grimaced, but that was a tale for another time.

But I knew Phantom was right. I needed to let all this go, and maybe getting their perspective on it would help. So I finished my beer and dove headfirst into the deep end of the pool with my story about Greer Rowan.

That night as I tossed and turned in bed, I thought about how, of all the places in the world, I ended up back in the same city with Greer. I could easily own a penthouse of my own, but I'd be lonely as fuck. At least living with the self proclaimed man-whore meant I wasn't alone all the time and his prowling provided some entertainment.

Moving back to Chicago had always been an option. Carter would love it, especially if I took my brother up on his offer about the NHL. But leaving my friends behind would be a difficult choice. They were my brothers, but I couldn't take the continual stabbing pain every time I saw Greer. My only defense was to be a complete and total asshole to him and wear a scowl twenty-four-seven was getting more difficult to keep up. I knew I appeared to have a permanent chip on my shoulder, but the reality was I had a hole in my heart. One that refused to heal with every moment I spent with him.

"What the fuck am I doing?" I ran my hands through my hair. I had to find some closure with him. And maybe in time I would let him explain.

But every time the world slowed down, my thoughts drifted to Greer and what had happened. I hated everything about him. Hated the way he made me feel when he looked at me with those kind, light hazel eyes. Hated that my stupid pride wouldn't allow me to hear him out because I knew it was going to hurt when he said it had been a mistake. And most of all, I hated the way my chest tightened every time I thought about him and what might have been.

I was an idiot for falling in love with him to begin with, but I was helpless when it came to his charm. My heart wanted Greer and hadn't let go. I just wished it—and my dick—would get the message that we didn't love him anymore.

Flipping back the sheet, I ran my hand over the hard fucker. There was no use in suffering, so I stroked myself and allowed my brain to drift into my fantasies about the man I hated to love. And when I came all over myself, it was his name on my lips.

"Fuck you, Greer Rowan, just fuck you."