3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

"So when are you and Smoke making this official?" Hazel fishes. She's Holy's Ol' Lady. He's the club's chaplain, which is wild to me considering how outlandish and kinky their sex life is.

"What do you mean?" I play dumb, but I know what she's asking. When do I think we'll get married.

"Pfft. You know exactly what I mean." Most of the wives and kids have gone home after an exhausting day of fun in the sun. The rest of us are having drinks back at the clubhouse.

I guess Murder wanted to make sure all the kids and Ol' Ladies received a nice family day before most of the club rides out in about a week to a rally being held in California. The gesture is sweet and not something I'd expect from an outlaw motorcycle club if it wasn't for this one. The guys pride themselves in treating their women like queens.

Not that every relationship is perfect.

Smoke and I have faced some hurdles, but we've been in what Pam calls the honeymoon phase of our relationship for these past few months. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. For something or someone to come between us.

"Hello. Earth to Ember." Pam waves a hand across my face, forcing me to blink.

"Sorry. Guess I kind of got lost in my own head for a minute."

"Well, this should cheer you up. Here. You can thank me later." Pam pulls a black gift bag out from behind the bar and slides it across to me.

"What is this?"

"A supply kit for the road," Rosie chimes in. She's with Static, who is Holy's brother. I don't know her quite as good as I do Pam and Jules, but she seems sweet. Outside of the fact she was once friends with Shiloh. Which is another reason I'm not one of Stella's favorite people. Shiloh was her sister. I'm assuming that's why she's over by the pool tables watching her man get his ass handed to him by mine instead of hanging over here with the rest of the Ol' Ladies.

"We figured since you've never gone on this kind of trip and ride that you could use some help with packing the essentials. Everyone pitched in and put a little something in here for you," Pam informs me, beaming proud as a peacock with all its colorful feathers on display. "You can thank me for all the tightly rolled panties."

"This was extremely thoughtful. Really, I'm touched."

"What's all this?" Smoke wraps an arm around my shoulders, giving me a squeeze while placing a kiss to my left temple.

"The girls got me some goodies for our ride."

"Sweet. You about ready to get home?"

"Yup." I'm having a good time, but am happy to take off before the conversation circles back around to having kids and getting married.

What I haven't told Smoke or anyone else is that when I went to get my prescription for birth control, I got freaked out and didn't go to the appointment. We've been having unprotected sex all this time, and I'm scared that it means there's something wrong with me. What if I can't give him the family he wants?

I know Pam and Link's story. They tried for years and eventually adopted, and Link still cheated on her. After all they went through, she finally conceived.

We're not the same and I know that. Doesn't mean I'm not scared if Smoke learns that I possibly can't have children that he will no longer want me. He could leave me for someone who can.

I finish wiping down my station for the night now that my last appointment has left and wait for Sabrina to pick me up. Roane offered to drive me home, but I promised Sabrina that I'd help her spy on Jimmy. She's convinced herself that he's seeing someone else and has been too chicken shit to take a pregnancy test. I'm doing what any good best friend would do. I'm entertaining Sabrina's suspicions and supporting her.

Tonight we are getting decked out and going undercover to stalk Jimmy. I hate that she believes her only choice is to stoop to this level, but a girl must do what she needs to for peace of mind.

My cell pings with a text from Smoke. I don't relish lying to him about where I'm going and why. He'd tell me that it's borrowing trouble and childish. It would be to him. He's thirty-six years old. Well, close to it. His birthday is coming up. I have no clue what to get him.

Still doing your girl's night with loudmouth?

Ha. Funny. Yes. Waiting for Sabrina to pick me up. What are you doing?

Playing cards with the guys.

Strip poker?

Now, who is being funny? You going to stop by and see me before you go out?

If you want me to.

Will give a ride on the pole.

The fire pole or your pole?

Both.

I've been in the bunkroom. No thank you.

I'm not at the station. Come by the clubhouse.

Is Jimmy there?

Not that I can see.

Do you know where he is?

No.

I'm about to type out a response, but Sabrina pulls up in front of the shop.

I wave to Roane. "That'll be my ride. Tell Jules and the kiddos hey for me."

"Night, sweetheart. "

He flips off the lights as I walk out to the car. He could have left earlier but never does. Not until he knows everyone is safe in their vehicle. I lucked out in the boss department. Not only can I make my own schedule as long as I get my hours in, but Roane goes above and beyond to see that everyone who works for him is taken care of. Jules drops by with lunch and dinner when the mood strikes. They've been very good to me.

"Hey," I greet Sabrina as I slide into the passenger seat. "Do you mind swinging by the clubhouse for a few so I can see Smoke?"

"You two are sickening. Can't stay away, can you?" She grins, but I catch a glimpse of sadness in her eyes.

"Guess we are still in the honeymoon stage of dating."

"I love getting to see you all the time, but I regret making this move," she confesses.

"Things will get better. He won't be a prospect forever."

"He's changed, Em. I know you don't see it, but when we're alone, he doesn't touch me like he used to. Before we couldn't keep our hands off each other. I guess the novelty has worn off for him. Either that or he has someone else he'd rather be with."

"You don't know that. Have you talked to him about the whole you may be having his baby thing?" I secure my seat belt as she checks her mirrors for traffic before pulling out .

"No way. He'll get spooked and accuse me of trying to trap him."

"Why would he think that?"

"I used to joke that he'd never be able to get rid of me because I'd have his baby, so he'd be stuck with me for at least eighteen years. It was a stupid thing to say."

"I'm sure he knows you were screwing around."

"Maybe, but seems like he is always looking for a reason to be mad at me or pick a fight."

I don't have a response to that. I can understand how she could see it that way, but on the outside, she is on his ass a lot about where he's at and who he is with. Like she's so determined to accuse him of something that he's going to do it out of spite. Smoke and I talk about it sometimes that if someone is always on you saying you're doing something, eventually you get to a point of saying fuck it and doing it.

She drives toward the clubhouse lost in her own thoughts.

One of the other prospects is working the gate, but he recognizes Sabrina's car by now.

Once parked, Sabrina takes a minute to touch up her makeup. She worked a split shift at the daycare before picking me up. Jimmy's truck nor his bike are here.

We make our way inside. Music plays low through the sound system. I spot my man playing poker with a group the guys just as he said. There are some girls dancing on the poles, but I'm not bothered. I've been around long enough to witness that most of the guys may like to look, but they don't touch.

Pam has no issue sharing what went down between her and Link when they hit a rough patch that resulted in him cheating on her in a very public way. Since then, the guys take a lot more care when it comes to how they behave with other women, especially when their Ol' Lady may walk in and see it with their own eyes. Although Pam has forgiven Link and they've worked out their issues, she can't hide the pain that flashes across her features when she talks about it.

Hound taps Smoke on the shoulder, alerting him to my entrance. Sabrina grabs a stool at the bar and chats up Angel. No doubt trying to get information on Jimmy. I leave her to it. I only have eyes for one man right now.

Smoke's lips stretch big and wide when he sees me flashing his pearly whites. The way he stares at me like he's never seen anyone more beautiful makes melt every time. He motions me over, scooting his chair back so I can drop my ass right where he wants me. Onto his lap. Latching an arm around my center, he drops his cards on the table, not caring if he's exposed his hand. His firm lips find mine, his tongue sliding inside my mouth, claiming every piece of me.

When Smoke kisses me, the rest of the world fades to black and there's nothing in existence but the steady beat of his heart beneath my palm and the woodsy scent of his cologne soothing my soul. His tongue wars for control, tasting of beer and pizza. Giving my hip a squeeze, he pulls back and says, "you sure you don't want to call it a night now and go upstairs?"

"Nice try, but I promised Sabrina."

"Hmm." He grumbles but doesn't push. "What are you two getting into, anyway?"

"Probably dinner and a trip to Walmart. Do you need me to pick up anything?"

"Nah. I'm about to head to the house in a bit. After I take all these fool's money." He grins and Hound snorts.

"Better quit while you can," Crawl tells him.

"Top me off before you go, babydoll." He hands me an empty bottle off the table. I roll my eyes but do it. I'd rather he asks me than one of the clubwhores looking for a reason to flirt. I trust Smoke after all we went through with the whole Shiloh situation. I don't think he'd cheat on me, but sometimes self-doubt creeps in and takes hold. Seeing the downfall of Sabrina and Jimmy's relationship playing out in real time doesn't help, either.

I strut to the bar and trade Angel the empty bottle for a cold, full one.

"When is the big day?"

"What do you mean?"

"Hasn't Smoke popped the question to make it official yet?"

Why is everyone constantly on me?

My heart leaps to my throat at the idea of marriage, because of what comes after it. The baby carriage. The one I may never put a child in. I don't want her to think there's a crack in our relationship, either. Not that there is one. Only I've been warned one time too many about club girls and I've watched them in action. Angel included. I haven't forgotten her little performance when I was flirting with Creed for all of five minutes when I was fighting with Smoke.

The dude was a total player and I'm not mad at Angel for playing the game, but it doesn't mean I like her or that I would ever trust her not to make a pass at my man if given the opportunity.

"I think he bought me a ring, but I'm not supposed to know that." The lies come rolling off my tongue as Sabrina stares at me like I've grown a second head. "I keep waiting for him to ask, but he's super secretive about the whole thing."

"I give you props. I wasn't sure he would ever settle down, but he's smitten. Congrats. Seriously."

"Thanks." I do my little hip swaying saunter back to my man to deliver his beer and an indecent kiss that would have my mother praying for my wretched soul.