11. Lash

11

LASH

To say I fucked up is an understatement. After we got back from the Hands of Hell clubhouse, Leo ripped me a new one.

I was there at that meeting to make sure shit went smooth, but my outburst at what they were telling us made certain that the Hands of Hell definitely considered us enemies.

What bothers me so much about this is the fact that if it were any other situation, I’d be able to handle myself. I have more self-control than most, but the minute Red entered the picture, it was like all my self-control flew out the window.

So far, no one has outwardly blamed me for the shitstorm that we're about to face, but I know they're thinking it. I can tell by the cold, silent treatment most of them are giving me. I don't give a fuck, though. I know what I did was right, at least in regards to those two assholes needing their asses beat. If Leo and the rest of the guys hadn't pulled me back, neither one of them would still be breathing.

So far, we're just waiting for Switch and his boys to attack; we're on edge. I don't have the luxury of just sitting around and waiting for an attack. I've got another asshole to find. The only information I have is that the man's name is Fisher, and he is in the business of abducting women. I'm assuming it's only women who are either prostitutes or strippers because I haven't heard much of a stink on the news about a slew of missing girls in the area. I have a few people that I can ask, but I'm going at this solo. I don't want to dump this on Leo now that he's already dealing with the Hands of Hell.

My door is slightly open as I type away on my computer. I've been searching through the missing person reports, the ones that have happened in the last few months. To my surprise, there aren't many. That doesn't mean that Fisher never did this before, but more than likely, the girls just didn't have anyone in their lives that cared enough to file a report. These women are cast aside. It's sickening. Even worse than that is the fact that if this were last week, I would probably be one of the people that would cast them off.

I'm not proud of that in the least.

A soft knock raps at my door, and I jerk my head to the sound. I know it's Nisa before I even have a chance to ask who it is. Only she is as soft-handed as that. If it were anyone else, they'd bang on my door once and barge in without waiting for a response.

"Yeah," I call out.

Nisa walks in and gives me a tight smile. She wraps her arms around her midsection as if she's cold. I wait for a beat for her to say something, but she simply shuffles from foot to foot like she's nervous.

"Did you need something?" I ask.

"No, I mean, not really. I don't know." She shakes her head before she walks over and sits at the edge of my bed.

"You've got something on your mind, then?" I turn in my chair to give her my undivided attention.

"Yeah, I want to know what's the deal with you and that girl."

"What girl?" I ask. I don’t need to; there’s only one woman in my life, but I want to see how much she knows.

"Sienna, that's what Leo said her name was." Nisa shrugs.

"Yeah, my Red." I nod my head. Her nickname slides out of my mouth with ease.

"Red, huh?" Nisa chuckles. "Well, what's up with her?"

"What exactly are you asking me, Nisa? Speak plain." I don't want to get confused.

"Fine. I was trying to be suave with this, but I don't have the brainpower right now for it." Nisa sighs and stares me right in the eye. "Are you going to make her your ol' lady? Is she even built for this life? You know me. I've been around clubs my entire life. I've been around you guys for the most part my entire life, and even still, I have days when I feel like it might just be too much. Are you sure she's ready for whatever it is you're going to bring her in for?"

I hear the weight in Nisa's words. She knows firsthand just how messed up things can get in our lives. She lost her brother, who was a member of Chrome Creed years ago, and I'm not sure she's ever really gotten over it. I know for sure Leo hasn't.

"She'll be okay. I'm sure of it." It's the only reassurance I can give Nisa right now.

"You better be, Lash. What you're doing for her, for these women—I get it. Truly, I do. I would want someone to come looking for me if I went missing. But you need to realize that this is probably going to bring a shitstorm right on your brother's heads. People can get hurt. It can divide us. Just make sure Red is everything you think she is and that she knows what she's getting into. If both of you can't agree on that, then maybe it's best you both just leave each other alone." She grins softly. The words are harsh, but I know she means well.

I lean back in my seat. "What if I don't want to leave her alone? What if I can't?" I say, giving Nisa a glimpse into how I'm really feeling for Sienna.

Her smile gets wider. "Well, if that's the case, then I hope you're busy making sure she knows just how important she is in your life. We women like to be wined and dined, even the fiery ones." She shoots me a wink before standing up and walking out of my room.

Wined and dined?

I've never had to work hard for a woman before. It's the first time I’ve ever considered someone my woman. Nisa is right. I need to work on showing Sienna how much she means to me. Maybe I'll do something to get her mind off the troubles we're having right now. After all, 'tis the season to give.

***

This was the worst idea I've ever had.

I clench my fists at my sides as yet another person bumps into me. Who the hell told me it was a good idea to go shopping the week before Christmas? When I left the clubhouse, I had it in my mind that I would just pop into a store and pick up something nice for Sienna.

What I didn't count on was the huge crowds or the near-nauseating scent of peppermint and gingerbread wafting through the mall, or even worse, the throngs of people all seeming to go for the same things. Every inch of me wants to turn around and just walk out of the store, but that would defeat the purpose.

"You look lost." A young girl walks over to me with a flirtatious smile on her face.

"I am," I reply.

"Well, what are you here for? Maybe I can help you find something?"

"I'm not even sure what I should get."

"Okay, let's start easier then. Who are you shopping for? Sister? Co-worker?" She lets her words trail off, and I instantly catch on to what she's doing. She's trying to see if she has a shot with me. In the past, I would've absolutely found the nearest supply closet and messed around with her, but I'm not interested in anyone else besides Sienna.

"Wife," I reply and nearly chuckle when I see her face fall.

"Okay, well let's move over here then." She gestures with her hand in the opposite direction. She shows me a small jewelry display. Alarms start going off in my head—not because I don't want to buy her jewelry, but because I want to look at wedding rings.

Too fast, Lash. The woman still hates you most of the time.

I shake the thought away and focus on a pair of stud earrings. They are simple enough and practical. I'm sure she'll be able to use them.

"What do you think about something like this?" The sales associate reaches behind the case and pulls out a necklace, but it's gaudy, and honestly, it's a bit ugly. That's not for my girl.

"No, those. I want those." I point to the simple stud earrings, and the woman gives me a soft smile again. This time, the flirtatiousness is gone.

The sales clerk quickly wraps up the earrings and rings me up. Her eyes go wide when I pay for the twenty five hundred dollar earrings in cash. I don't deal with cards, and I'm not worried about anyone trying to rob me.

I take the bag from her and nearly run to get out of the mall with my sanity intact. The weight of the small package feels good in my pocket.

I'm actually proud of myself that I was able to brave the Christmas rush and not lose my temper with anyone, all in an effort to bring Red something I think she'd like. If this is what having a woman feels like, I'm surprised I didn't do it much sooner.

No, I'm not. I haven't met anyone like Sienna before; that's the reason why I never had a woman. I was waiting for her.

I make my way to her place and walk in without announcing myself. What's the point of having a key if I have to knock? Besides, if she's in here with anyone else, I'll have to fuck them up, and I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise.

I don't see her right away when I walk in the house. Thankfully, she didn't leave anything on the stove to burn. I close the door behind me and walk to the back room where she's digging through her closet. There's clothes everywhere. It looks like a hurricane passed through here.

"Taking a trip I don't know about?" I ask.

Sienna screams so loud I cringe away from the sound.

"For the love of God! Stop doing that!" She puts a hand to her chest to calm her racing heart.

"Sorry," I offer.

"Is there more news? Did something happen?" Instantly, she's on high alert. I didn't mean to come here to get her more worked up.

"No, no, calm down. Nothing about the girls," I tell her and walk further into the room to pull her into a hug.

She comes to me willingly. It's a nice change from her wanting to cut me all the time. I dip my head and give her a soft kiss. At least it starts off that way, but as soon as she sighs against my lips, I deepen it. I push my fingers into her hair and tug back to get her into a position that works for me. She grabs hold of my forearms to steady herself.

Several seconds later, I pull away, out of breath, and press my forehead to hers.

"You drive me insane. Do you know that?"

"Look who's talking," Red replies with a soft chuckle.

"What are you doing?" I ask, taking a step back and looking around. She shakes her head, trying to clear her mind. It takes a second for her to realize I'm talking about the clothes she's throwing all over the place.

"Nothing, just looking for something," she shrugs and moves away from the closet. My intuition perks up. There's more to the statement, but I don't press her. I don't like the fact that she's hiding things from me, but if it has to do with clothes, how bad can it be? Maybe I just don't need to know about it. Maybe she's looking for the Mrs. Claus suit she's going to wear for me on Christmas.

A smile breaks out on my face as I think back to our bet. I've never been more excited about the Christmas holiday than I am now.

Red drops onto her bed and crosses her legs while she looks up at me. "Well, since you're not here to tell me anything about Max and Lia, what brings you by?"

"Can't I just want to come see you?"

"Sure, but that usually requires a phone call. I could've been out, you know." She laughs.

"Yeah, not my style. Don't be surprised if you show up one day and I'm already here. Just get used to having me around."

"That's insane." She blinks at me a few times.

"Yeah, don't worry. I'll grow on you." I tilt my head in a nod.

"Yeah, like a fungus," she retorts and rolls her eyes.

I love her quick wit. "No, honestly, I wanted to give you something. I know it's not Christmas yet, but I thought you could use a little pick-me-up after everything that's going down." I reach into my pocket and pull out the small box.

"Lash, you didn't have to buy me anything," she says, but her hands are steady trying to open the box. She finally gets the wrapping paper off and moves the two flaps to show the diamond earrings I've bought her.

"Holy shit, are these real?"

I scoff and pull back from her, "Don't insult me like that. Of course these are real. Only the best for my woman."

She puts the jewelry down, no longer fascinated by the sparkling rocks and looks up at me.

I can tell just by the look in her eyes that she's about to drop something heavy on me. My skin itches just thinking about it. I'm not really equipped to deal with serious relationship talk, but I guess I'm going to have to learn.

"Is that what's going on here?" she asks, and I have to think back on what I said to know what it is she's talking about.

"You mean about you being my woman? This I can handle." I chuckle before I continue, "You thought I was joking? You're mine, Red. I'm not in the habit of saying things I don't mean."

"I'm not just going to be some woman you can keep hidden away in your clubhouse. I have my own life I want to live. My own people I feel responsible for." She doesn't take her eyes off mine.

"Why?" I ask, not because I want to keep her hidden away like some prize bird, but I've never understood why she was so attached to these women that she keeps around herself. The first time I met her at the party, she wasn't there to have fun; she was there to watch out for the other women. She spends her nights walking outside, helping those who have less. I don't understand why she feels the need to do these things; all I know is it's important to her.

"What do you mean, why?" she frowns.

"Why? Why these women? Why is this so important to you?"

She breathes a deep sigh and looks down at her folded hands. "It's not just these particular women; it's all women. It just so happens that these particular women, more often than not, are the ones that no one believes. The ones who are blamed when horrible things happen to them. If they didn't dress so provocatively. If they didn't work as strippers. If they didn't stay out all night. Always an excuse for why they are the ones targeted. No one cares about them. I know what that feels like, even if I didn't take the same route as many of these women."

I can read between the lines, but I want her to tell me everything. I want her to open up to me. "Go on," I encourage.

"When I was younger, I was out of my house for the first time. It was the first real taste of freedom I've ever had, and I wanted to do something with it. I wanted to party. Wanted to be the girl everyone remembered. I dyed my hair funky colors, wore see-through tops, did the most, as people would say. When I was approached by a few guys at a party for a good time, I told them no. Told them I was just there to dance, but they assumed because of what I was wearing and how I was acting, it gave them the right to just ignore my words. They forced themselves on me, but that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was I went to the cops right after and told them what happened, but they acted like they didn't believe me. They wanted to know if I'd led the group on in some way. They acted like I was asking to be assaulted just because of my clothes. I never felt more ashamed of the human race than I did that day. Ever since then, I vowed never to judge someone for what they had to do or even what they wanted to do. We all should be treated with kindness and respect. We all should have someone in our corner to believe us."

She finished her story, and I can feel the rage boiling up inside of me. I know this all happened a long time ago, but I'm seeing red right now. I want to murder whoever it was that harmed her. But then that would make it about me. This was about her.

I pull her closer to me and kiss the top of her head. "I'm sorry you had to go through something like that. And you're right, everyone should have somewhere they can turn if they need help. Even the ones most folks would consider unsavory." I hold her close until I feel the tension seeping out of her body.

"Thank you for being honest about that. It only makes me want you even more. So fucking strong." I lean down to kiss her, but this time she pulls back. I'm worried for a second that she'll try to hit me.

Talking about being honest, I think there's something that I should tell you." Red bites at the corner of her lip. If there was ever a more guilty-looking expression, I've never seen it. Whatever it is that she has to tell me is something I'm not going to want to hear.

"Spit it out," I grunt.

"Well, I just want you to know this has nothing to do with me not trusting you; it's more because I just can't sit and not do anything. I need to make moves of my own." She prefaces, and I wait for her to tell me whatever it is she's going to say.

"What are you talking about, Sienna?" I press on.

"Well, after you told me about Fisher, I know you told me to just be patient, but I was going out of my mind waiting for answers. I decided to do a bit of digging myself." She shrugs, and instantly my chest starts to get tight. She can't be saying what I think she's saying.

"Don't tell me you went to meet with that man without any protection," I growl, and she quickly shakes her head.

"No, no, no! I didn't, but..." She hedges, and I growl louder, nearly demanding that she just get on with it.

"I went to the clubs and talked to people on the street. I found out where Fisher is going to be on Friday. No one really wanted to talk about it. In fact, the one girl I got the information from went to great lengths to make it seem like she wasn't giving me any information. She slid me a paper like a drug deal." Sienna chuckles nervously.

I take a few deep breaths, trying to make sure I don't blow up at her for doing this. I'm supposed to be nicer to her. I'm supposed to be more sensitive. I'm supposed to be...

My eyes drift to the floor at the piles of clothing she's got strewn all over the place. "This is what you were searching for? You were planning on going to where he will be on Friday?" My tone is frigid, and I watch Sienna's eyes widen as she nods her head.

So much for taking it easy on her. "Are you out of your fucking mind?" I explode, popping up from the bed and staring down at her.

"You already know this man is capable of abducting women without a care in the world, and you're thinking about putting yourself in the same room with him. No fucking way. I forbid it."

Just as soon as the word is out, her eyes harden.

"Excuse me? You what?" She hisses.

"You fucking heard me. I forbid it. You're not going to do that. I don't care if they told you both Max and Lia would be at that party along with the virgin mother Mary, you're not going." I shout again at her.

"You can't tell me what I will and will not do." Sienna pops up from her seat, her hands pressed firmly on her hips.

"Like hell I can't!" I yell down at her again, but this time she doesn't even bother to flinch back.

I see the determination in her eyes, and I know the more I push, the more she's going to push back. I release a quick breath before I raise my hands slowly so she knows I'm not threatening her. I cradle her cheeks in my hands and peer deep into her eyes.

"Do you know what it'll do to me if something were to happen to you? I get it. You want this bastard to pay for what he's done to your friends. I want him to pay too, but that doesn't mean I'm willing to risk you in exchange. There's a different way. I'll bring this to my club, and we'll all find a way to get justice for these girls."

I watch as she slowly begins to thaw out. What I'm saying is valid. She's not thinking clearly. She's not thinking about what could happen if Fisher and his people realize that she's there to spy on them. The people she is around didn't want to tell her for a reason. They are scared of Fisher, and there has to be a reason why.

"I hear you, Lash. I hear you." She whispers before she leans up on her tiptoes and presses a soft kiss to my lips.

The instant whiplash of emotions isn't something I'm used to. On one hand, I can't even think about something happening to her, and on the other, I'm more than impressed that she was able to figure out the information that seemed to allude me all day. My woman is one smart cookie. I just hope she allows me to do what needs to be done and doesn't try to take things into her own hands.

I'm here to protect her. That's what old men do for their women. It's real hard for me to do that if she's off trying to save the world on her own. Sexy or not, I'm going to have to figure out a way to tame this fireball.