Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty-Three

Knox

“So,” Lake says as drops onto the bench. “What gives?”

I scowl and ignore him, ripping my jersey over my head and tossing it into the bin in the middle of the room, then start in on my other gear.

The game went fine.

Another night. Another game.

But I’m not fucking happy.

As great as the Vipers game had been, as much of a superhero as I’d felt that night…

Today, there had been none of that.

It was a grind, a job, and nothing more.

I wasn’t thinking about Evie watching after dance, wasn’t trying to impress Ivy with my strength and speed.

It was all, grit my teeth, keep my head down, and drag myself through.

“He fucked it,” Riggs mutters from my other side, dropping down next to me and getting to work on his own gear.

“Yup,” Leo says from beside him. “Kid finally got over being gun shy and he fucked it.”

A bolt of pain shoots through my jaw—too much teeth gritting tonight and not enough controlling my temper means that I’ll likely be paying my dentist overtime. Especially since playing it cool and focused and calm seems very far away at the moment.

“Definitely fucked it,” Lake agrees. “Man was looking for a fight all night?—”

He’s not lying. I was looking for a fight.

Unfortunately, no one from the other team was stupid enough to fuck around with me and give me one.

My own teammates on the other hand…

No. No punching the guys on the roster, especially the small subset I call my friends.

“I think maybe Knox has had enough for tonight,” Storm says quietly as he yanks at the Velcro holding his shin guards in place.

Lake’s brows lift and he makes a show of leaning around me, making eyes at Leo and Riggs. “That kid doesn’t get it, does he?”

I roll my eyes, get to work tearing off my skates. “ That kid is the only one who has my back,” I grind out. “The rest of you fuckers just want to give me a hard time.”

Leo’s mouth twitches. “He’s not wrong.”

Lake chuckles. “What happened? The Knox Adler special brand of charm backfired?”

“No,” I mutter.

Riggs sighs. “None of that shit that Ella said stuck, did it?”

Growling, I turn and slam my hand into his chest, gripping the cuff of his shoulder pads. “It stuck all right,” I snap before I remember where the fuck I am and that I don’t want the assholes on the other side of the room to clue in.

These assholes I call friends have my best interests in mind.

Those fuckers would love to have something more to give me shit about aside from my ability to work door handles.

And anyway, I’m pissed and hurt, but I don’t want Ivy in their crosshairs.

She has enough shit to worry about, what with the asshole kid and the fucking principal and?—

Me.

“I made my move,” I say quietly, holding Riggs’s eyes then glancing at Leo and Lake and Storm. “She just made it clear that she didn’t want any part of me .”

The silence that falls between us is full of shock.

And even though I’m fucking miserable, the fact that my friends are shocked loosens some of that knot in my stomach.

Of course, I suppose saying I made my move is a bit strong.

Yes, I went there with the intention of making my move, and I did try to get through to her.

She just made it clear that nothing else I said was going to make a difference.

So, why do I still feel like a coward?

I yank at my skate laces as laughter echoes across the room and I hear snippets of the conversation a couple of my teammates are having.“…never had a mouth like hers before. Bitch could take all of me and still want more.”

“Not a problem when you’ve got a small dick,” Lake mutters from next to me. He bumps his shoulder against mine, nods at the jackass crowing about his sexual prowess, and I take my first full breath for hours.

Yeah, I’m a little bitch, but I’m relieved that none of my friends are going to push this further.

Leo laughs and Riggs chuckles. Storm’s mouth twitches and I nod my thanks at him.

Of course, all he gives me in return is a shrug.

Loquacious, he is not.

“Beers?” Lake asked.

I shake my head, adding before they can dig into me and my misery further, “Winter’s at home alone. I need to make sure she’s settled in. After our next home game, I’ll buy.”

Lake’s stare holds mine for a long time.

Then he nods. “Bring the pup to the next Game Night. Steve needs a friend.”

“You mean the demon dog known as Steve the pug needs to corrupt my innocent little pup?”

Lake snorts, but his expression isn’t guilty in the least. “Damn right, he does. Nothing good ever comes from following the rules all the time.”

“Swear to fuck that you stole my line,” I grumble, shoving down my jock and wrapping a towel around my waist.

“Does sound like something an Adler would say,” he agrees.

I roll my eyes.

“Which, of course,” he goes on lazily, leaning back in his stall, “begs the question.”

I shouldn’t bite.

I really shouldn’t bite.

But fucking curiosity killed the Adler.

“What question?” I ask between gritted teeth.

“Why you—as a pesky, boundary pushing, never met a challenge you didn’t love to stick your nose in (and solve) Adler—gave up on something you want with only the barest hint of a fight.”

And, with that, he claps me on the shoulder and stands, striding naked into the showers, giving the entire room the absolute certainty that not even Callie, with her talented mouth, would be able to handle all of him.

I know he’s right.

I didn’t fight.

Hell, I didn’t even bicker.

And I certainly didn’t abide by Ella’s advice, even though it would be so much more convenient to believe that I had?—

So much safer to pretend I had.

Be brave.

Yeah, I’d faced one wall—albeit a thick one topped with barbed wire, but one wall nonetheless—and I’d noped the fuck right out of there.

If anyone deserves someone to show her—and Evie—how beautiful love can be it’s Ivy.

I knew walls were incoming and?—

I’m a chicken shit.

My temple begins to throb again and the ache doesn’t go away as I shower and get dressed.

It accompanies me to my car and all along my drive home.

It stays with me as I check on Winter and give in to those soft brown eyes, settling her on the pillow next to me.

That pain even clings to my dreams.

Probably because, for a second there, I actually thought I might be able to live them.