3. River

3

RIVER

Wedding Day

T he door opened, and I jumped.

“What are you doing out here, mumbling to yourself? I’m the one who’s meant to be nervous. Fuck. I’m getting married today. Can you believe that?”

I stared at Adam. His navy suit fit him perfectly, but his hair was styled too neatly. His socks didn’t match. One was white and the other gray. Had he noticed?

“River?” he called again.

“Yes. Sorry…may I come in?”

He pulled my hand and dragged me in, closing the door behind us.

“Why aren’t you dressed yet?” He walked over to the floor-to-ceiling mirror in his room and started playing with his tie, redoing what had already been a perfect knot.

“Adam, I…” Fuck, I couldn’t do this. Victoria’s cowardly letter burned in my hands, reminding me of my job. I had to break Adam’s heart in her place.

My heart, I didn’t care much about. It was permanently damaged. I’d accepted that a long time ago. But Adam’s? His was precious.

I had to remember I was just the messenger. This wasn’t my fault.

“What’s up?” he asked, turning to face me.

A knock on the door made us both startle.

“Adam, honey? Can I see you?” his mom called from the other side of the door.

He took the few strides to the door, and as soon as he opened it, his mom ran into his arms.

“Oh, my baby. You look so handsome.”

“Thanks, Mom. Everything okay?” he asked.

“Of course. I just wanted to see you before everything got a little crazy. Your dad and grandma wanted to come over, but I didn’t want to put all the pressure on you. If you’re anything like your dad, you’ll be nervous enough. On our wedding day, he…” She started but shook her head before finishing her thought. “Those are memories for another day. Today is all about you and Victoria.”

She straightened his already-straight tie. Her loving gaze as she cradled her son’s cheeks spoke of nothing but pure love and pride.

Carla was an amazing woman and an even better mom. I should know. After all, I’d practically lived in the Spencer household since I was five, and now, as the manager of the restaurant, I spent enough time with her and Adam’s dad.

Not that life at home had been bad, but with my mom working all the hours as a nurse at the hospital, I’d sometimes felt like Adam’s family was my real family growing up.

She turned to me. “River Charles Hartley, what are you doing not in a suit? And I don’t want to hear any excuses about work. We closed the restaurant so you can enjoy the wedding and not worry. Do I need to have a word with Jack?”

I smiled. “It doesn’t take me long to get ready, Carla. I promise I won’t do any work today.”

She was right to worry. I’d been using work as a crutch for the last eighteen months, and my plan to stop involved…nothing I could afford to think about right now.

“Well, I’ll leave you boys to get ready,” she said. “Adam, honey, do you want me to send something up for you to eat?”

“Thanks, Mom. I had room service earlier.”

“Okay, in that case…” She gave us each a kiss on the cheek and left.

The click of the door closing shut sounded like a shotgun to my stomach.

You’ve got this.

Adam dropped on the couch in the suite. “Fuck, I need a coffee. Probably not the best thing to have when I’m already so nervous.”

I sat next to him, trying to find the guts I didn’t have.

“What’s that?” he asked, pointing at the paper in my hand. “No, don’t tell me. You wrote my vows because no one could trust me, someone who crafts words for a living , to do it myself.”

“Probably because up until two days ago, you were still rewriting them,” I said. “Not that you’ll need them now.”

“What do you mean?”

I held the paper up to him. He took it, his eyes filled with curiosity.

I couldn’t look at him while he read the letter, but I heard the intake of breath with every word. The gasp. The questions. Until it was just silence.

Dear Adam

I know you’re going to hate me for this, and you have every right to feel that way. Please know that I love you, and because of that, I have to do this.

I can’t marry you today.

Out of all the awful things I’ve done in my life, this is by far the worst. I know that.

I’m so sorry I’m leaving you to deal with the fallout. You don’t deserve it, but I’m selfish, and I know I can’t be there and handle the disappointment.

You have everyone around you. They’ll help.

I won’t ask for your forgiveness, but I hope you can someday understand why I’ve made this choice.

Love,

Victoria.

Slowly and reluctantly, I raised my eyes. Adam’s hands shook as he gripped the paper until his fingers were white.

“I’m sorry,” I said, barely a whisper, wanting to reach out and put my arms around him.

I’d never seen my best friend look so…lost, destroyed, betrayed.

“Sh-she’s gone,” Adam stammered, the sentence a blade that cut through the last thread of hope. The paper crinkled in his tightening grip.

“Hey, hey, look at me,” I urged gently, reaching out to steady his shaking shoulders. “We’ll get through this. I’m here for you, okay?”

“How did you get this?” he asked.

“It was under my door this morning. My guess is it was put there before I woke up.”

“Does anyone else know about it?”

I cringed. “Your brothers, Emery, Lior, and Ellie. I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do.”

He stood and paced the room.

“I need to…” He ran his hands through his tidy hair, messing it up and making it look a lot more like my Adam. I wanted to smile at that but stopped myself. This wasn’t the time to put my feelings first. My feelings didn’t come into this equation at all.

I stood and reached out to him. Placing my hands on his shoulders, I said, “What do you need from me, Adam? What can I do?”

“Take me home. I need to… She might be at the apartment.” With every word, his resolve hardened. I got it. He needed answers. He couldn’t stay in limbo, halfway between married and single, without understanding why.

“Are you sure?”

He glanced at the digital clock on the side table and met my gaze with determination. “We have time. I need to try, River. I can’t just let this happen like this. I don’t know if she doesn’t want to get married today…or at all. Why this? Why now? I can’t?—”

I placed my hands on his cheeks, making him face me so there was no doubt about my role in all of this. “We’ll do whatever you need, okay?”

He nodded, his eyes turning red and moist.

“I’m not crying, okay?”

“I know, buddy. It’s allergies. Let’s get you home.”