27. River

27

RIVER

“ A re you awake?” Adam whispered against my chest.

“I am now.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to?—”

I cradled his face and tilted it up. I couldn’t see him in the dark, but I didn’t need light to know the expression he was wearing. His voice told me everything.

“Hey, baby. What’s in your head?”

He sighed.

“You.”

I chuckled.

“Thinking about me is keeping you awake? Maybe I didn’t do a good enough job a few hours ago.” I tugged him closer and closed my lips over his. He responded immediately, opening for me and giving me a taste of his sweet mouth.

“Why is it so good with you?” he asked, his voice filled with wonder. “I don’t understand it. I’ve been trying to figure out what I am, but…”

“Can I turn the light on?” I asked.

I felt Adam nod, so I stretched over to the table on my side and turned on the light.

“There you are,” I said, pulling him back against me.

He rested his chin on my chest, his eyes firmly on mine. “Was it hard for you to come out?”

“No. I always knew my mom would love me no matter what, and I always felt safe with your family. Noah had already come out by the time I came out, so it was easy.”

“How about the demisexual part? You never told me about that.”

I knew that question would come eventually. It was a fair one. Why would I have kept something like that from my best friend? The answer was that I wouldn’t. Not unless my best friend had been the reason I’d figured that part of myself out.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to keep it from you. I guess…it didn’t seem like it was that important. I’m still gay, and I’m still me.”

He bit his lip and let out a contemplative sigh.

“Does it bother you that I didn’t say anything?” I asked.

He traced a pattern on my chest with his finger. “No. I mean, I think it did at first, but then when I started feeling differently about you, I got it. Your sexuality is yours, and you don’t owe me or anyone else full disclosure.”

“Thank you.” I laced our fingers together, bringing his hand to my lips and kissing his warm skin. “What’s really on your mind?”

“I don’t know who I am. Am I gay? Bi? Pansexual? I considered that maybe I’m demisexual like you because this thing, this connection I have with you…I don’t think I could have it with another man. But then again, I don’t think I could have it with anyone, which just shreds to pieces everything I knew about myself and the fact I was about to marry Victoria and?—”

“Hey,” I interrupted gently, running my free hand over his back. “Sexuality is fluid. You know that, right?”

He nodded, so I continued, “First, you don’t have to figure it all out in one go, and you also don’t need to label yourself. If you feel better without a label, that’s okay. If you need to define yourself with a label, that’s okay too. You can take your time figuring out what that label is.”

“I guess. I wish it were easier.”

“It can be, baby. Are you happy here with me?”

Adam looked up, and his smile reached the depths of my heart. It wrapped around it and made it miss a few beats. “More than I ever could have imagined. I never thought I’d ever be naked in a bed with you and feel like I want to get so close to you that I’m inside your skin.”

I chuckled. “I’m a little concerned now.”

He hooked his leg over mine, and before I had the chance to react, he was on top of me.

“What concerns you? That you and your body seem to make my dick hard now?” he asked, moving against me and making my dick hard. “Or is it that you find me so irresistible?”

I groaned. “You’re irresistible, all right. And a demon. I have work tomorrow, you know that?”

“Hmm, but it’s still today, so we’re still technically on our date.”

I’d argue that three in the morning is very much the next day, but why would I when my whole body was fine-tuned to Adam and had very little desire to sleep?

“I suppose you have a point.”

After that, I shut down my brain and our conversation to focus solely on making sure we both got off again. Sleep be damned.

The loud noise of elephant footsteps outside the room shattered the early morning stillness, dragging me from a dreamless sleep. My heart jolted as I blinked into consciousness. Adam’s breath was a steady rhythm against my neck. His body was curled into mine in a way that was now so familiar. Who’d have known he was a cuddler?

As the racket grew louder, my brain woke the rest up.

Fuck. They’re here.

Adam, still fast asleep, remained oblivious to the impending chaos his brothers were about to unleash upon us. I hesitated for a moment, caught between the desire to wake him gently and the necessity of urgency. But time was a luxury we didn’t have. In fact, it was slipping away with each heavy footfall on the wooden floor.

“Fuck,” I muttered under my breath, a mix of fear, anticipation, and the dawning that our secret was about to come out.

Adam stirred beside me, a soft sigh escaping him as if he also sensed the turning point we teetered upon. His eyes opened slowly, and he smiled.

“River?” The word was thick with sleep, his voice a groggy babble that normally would’ve made me smile. “What’s that noise?”

I wanted nothing more than to press my lips against his in a quiet good morning, to savor the softness of his mouth and the way he’d melt against me. But the thunderous approach of his brothers denied us even that simple pleasure.

“Adam! River! Wake the fuck up.”

“What the?—”

“They’re here,” I breathed out.

I sat up abruptly, pulling the duvet over Adam’s body in a fluid motion. The door slammed open just as I managed to arrange the covers into a semblance of innocent disarray.

Noah loomed in the doorway, “Where’s Adam? Did you know he’s not in his room?” His question was less inquiry and more accusation.

“Maybe he’s out for an early run,” I said, my voice steady despite the pounding in my heart. It was a plausible lie. I hadn’t seen Adam run unless he was being chased, but it could happen, right?

Lex stepped in behind Noah. “Where’s Adam?”

I met Lex’s gaze. He was the one I couldn’t lie to. Not completely, because he’d see right through me.

“Adam’s around,” I said carefully. “Just…tied up at the moment.”

Beneath the covers, Adam lay still.

Emery followed behind, his steps halting as he saw me, as though he hadn’t expected me to be in my own bed. His dark eyes flickered to the bed, a quick, piercing glance that took in the shape beneath the duvet. His lips quirked, not quite a smile, not quite a frown, but he said nothing, only arched an eyebrow.

“Looks like you’re a man down,” I commented, trying to keep my voice light.

“Lior is in the living room,” Noah said, his eyes scanning the discarded clothes all over my bedroom floor. “He doesn’t want any part in this.”

“Part in what?” I asked, feigning ignorance while my pulse thrummed against my throat. Adam remained motionless beneath the duvet, the stillness of his form almost convincing.

“Our home invasion.” He rolled his eyes. “He’s still a little traumatized when you all did this to us. Anyway. Why do you have so many pillows under your blankets?” The question hung between us. I had to get rid of them because it was only a matter of time until they found out.

“Uh, bad back,” I lied smoothly, or at least I hoped it was smooth.

“Since when?” Emery finally chimed in, his voice soft but laced with a knowing undertone. He was too observant for his own good—or mine.

“Since…recently. Um…carrying boxes at the restaurant.”

“Bad back, huh?” Lex said, still oblivious to his twin’s burning presence against my legs. “You should let Adam give you a massage. I hear he’s got magic hands.”

“Maybe later,” I replied, trying to sound casual.

Adam chuckled beside me, so I coughed loudly and kneed him to keep quiet.

“Anyway,” Noah said. “Adam’s not here, so we can ask you. We want to know how you and Adam managed to have dinner with David Lima and his husband last night at Lusitana.”

“ That is the reason you’re invading my place?” I asked, relaxing slightly and hoping that answering their questions would get them to move along soon.

Noah looked at Lex and Emery and then back at me. “Why else would we invade your sacred”—he glanced at the clothes on the floor—“and extremely messy sanctuary?”

“You need to check out the definition of sanctuary,” I said.

“Bish, bosh. Fess up, Hartley,” Lex said.

“Adam and I attended one of David’s experiences. As it turned out, they’d been hoping to get a table at Lusitana, so I invited them to dine with us. That’s all.”

“Aren’t those experiences for couples only?” Emery asked.

The question hung there, dangling like a carrot, waiting for me to bite.

“Is he as gorgeous in real life?” Lex asked

“David Lima?” I echoed, grasping the change of subject like a lifeline. “He’s…striking, sure. But you know, he’s a genuinely nice guy. His husband too.”

“I wish I’d been there,” Lex sighed.

“How do you even know about it?” I asked.

“Drew,” Noah replied before his eyes stilled on the form next to me. “Why are your pillows breathing?” Noah asked.

“Breathing?” I feigned puzzled amusement.

“Yeah, breathing…” His voice trailed off as Lior’s shout echoed from the living room.

“You’re all seriously dumb if you still haven’t figured out what’s happening here. River, I’m going to make myself a coffee.”

Noah’s lips parted, then closed. If he frowned any more, he’d need to consider Botox.

Lex gasped as he seemed to finally realize what was happening.

“Make that three coffees, Lior!” I called out, a touch more loudly than necessary. Laughter bubbled from below the duvet.