24. Adam

24

ADAM

I stood over my desk, dozens of sticky notes with scribbled words making a word cloud of emotions, textures, and visual cues.

My brainstorming strategy had worked for me from college to this day. I paced the room, wrote down words, listened to one of the many playlists River had created for me over the years, and let my creativity do the rest.

Maybe I was coming down with a cold again, or something, because I couldn’t focus for shit. I glanced at the clock, a mild panic rushing over me as I realized I needed to come up with three more copy options for the campaign we were building for a local fashion brand before my meeting with Lex and Noah in a few hours.

Lex had done his thing and come up with the perfect design. Now it was my turn.

Maybe I could run it by the team. We usually worked together, but there were a few occasions when clients wanted to work with Lex and me directly.

Our team was busy enough, and it was fun working with Lex to create something really special for our clients. It was like going back to the early days when there was no one but us and Noah, and we all worked in a tiny shared office.

“Hey,” Lex’s voice cut through my distraction as he stepped into my office. “You’ve been staring at that desk for ages. Everything okay?”

“Must be nice having the time to stare across the room into my office for something to do.”

He sat on the small leather couch I’d bought so I wasn’t always working at my desk.

“What can I say? Staring at you is just a reminder of how gorgeous I am.”

“I didn’t think you had self-confidence issues. Not when Emery won’t stop looking at you like you put the stars in the sky and flipped a switch to turn on the moon.”

Lex smiled, his expression softening the way it did every time Emery came up in conversation. He studied me for a moment longer than necessary, then asked, “You okay, man?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” The lie tasted bitter on my tongue, but I wasn’t ready to unpack the tangled mess of my feelings—not even with Lex, who knew me better than anyone. “Just…trying to nail this copy. It’s giving me a hard time.”

“All right,” Lex said, though his eyes lingered with unspoken questions. “If you say so. Just remember, I’m here if you need to talk.”

“I know.” I managed a weak smile.

Being a twin was the best thing ever. The bond I shared with Lex was unbreakable and special. But I hadn’t believed Lex when he said he’d bumped into Emery after a year apart and that Emery had been in an accident and lost his memory.

When my brother’s reaction to my engagement had been somewhere between lukewarm and hostile, I didn’t consider that maybe they saw something in Victoria I’d missed or refused to see.

So how could I trust myself and the newly growing feelings for River but also explain the chaos in my head?

How could I tell Lex that every moment spent with River lately felt like stepping into a new world, where the blinders had come off and I was suddenly seeing everything in bright colors? How I craved his company, his touch, and just sitting beside him watching a movie made me feel so much happier than I’d ever been with the woman I thought I’d loved enough to marry?

How was it possible that I had once been so certain about marrying Victoria but now questioned everything?

When I thought of River, I lost my breath, my heart beat faster, I craved his smell, his smile, even his laugh.

Was this the shape of love? Or just lust cloaked in the sheen of novelty?

“Adam, I’ve just watched you go through five hundred different moods, and you forgot I was still here. Care to stop bullshitting the bullshitter? Remember, I was the master of ‘I’m fine’ for a whole year.”

“I’m—I don’t know what you want me to say.”

He leaned forward on the couch and rested his elbows on his knees. “I don’t want you to tell me what you think I want to hear.”

I exhaled slowly. “I just wish everyone would stop asking if I’m okay,” I admitted, averting my gaze from his probing eyes. “It’s like I’ve become the family project.”

Lex crossed his arms, a knowing smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “Maybe when I see you behaving like you used to—full of life and less…broody—I’ll stop asking.”

I wanted to argue, to tell him I was the same old Adam, but the words wouldn’t come out. Probably because I wasn’t the same old Adam. I’d changed, and I didn’t fully understand it yet, so how could I explain it to someone else?

“Is this about Victoria?” Lex’s voice softened, the mention of her name like a knife twisting in my gut.

“No, she hasn’t been in touch. She’s still gone. And since I’m no longer at the apartment, I wouldn’t know if she’s back.”

“How is it living with River again?” It was a seemingly innocent question, but Lex was way too perceptive, especially when it came to me.

“River’s… It’s good,” I began, the words faltering as they escaped. “It’s comfortable, you know? Like old times.” But even as I said it, I could tell Lex knew I was leaving a lot unsaid.

“Are you thinking about looking for your own place soon?”

I walked over to the window and stared at the street outside. “I’ll start looking eventually.” The thought had crossed my mind a few times, but each time, the need to be close to River won out. Even when I didn’t see him, I knew he was there. Waking up before me, coming home after a late shift and joining me in his bed.

This couldn’t be all about the physical aspect. Not when I only ever properly drifted off to sleep when River’s arm pulled me against his chest and his hand sought mine.

“Okay. Well then, I better leave you and your sticky notes alone.”

I sighed. Yeah, I better go back to the sticky notes.

An hour and a lot of frustration later, I’d made some progress, but now my belly was rumbling.

A knock on the door made me look up and put a smile on my face.

“River.”

“Hey,” he said, his lips widening into a grin that reached his beautiful eyes and made the butterflies in my head all fluttery.

“What are you doing here?” I stood and walked to him, stopping short when I realized I’d been about to kiss him right in the middle of my office where everyone could see.

“You’ve never asked that before.”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean that quite the way it came out. I just wasn’t expecting you today.”

“I was in the area to see the restaurant accountant and thought you might need a pick-me-up,” he said, handing me the coffee and pastry bag in his hand.

“Thank you.” I took my gifts and sipped the coffee straight away. “Hmm, you have no idea how much I needed this. I was actually about to pop out to buy myself a coffee.”

“I’m glad you didn’t, or I’d have missed you.”

I put the coffee on my desk. “Is that something you do a lot? Miss me?”

His warm gaze washed over me like he wanted to do more than just look. “More and more each day. I curse the distance between the restaurant and your office, my long hours, and having to leave you asleep in my bed when all I want is to kiss you awake.”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, muttering, “My office is see-through,” more to remind myself why I couldn’t just push him onto the couch and make out for the rest of the afternoon.

“You look stuck,” he said, pointing at the work on my desk.

“It’s for a fashion brand. I’m supposed to conjure up the next big slogan, but nothing feels right.”

“Let’s hear it then,” River said, easing onto the chair across from me. We’d done this so many times I’d lost count. He had a talent for picking up on a loose thread and giving me exactly what I needed to create the perfect slogan or ad copy.

I rattled off a couple of attempts I’d scribbled down earlier, each falling flat the moment they left my lips.

“Okay, how about this?” he said, leaning forward with a spark of excitement. “What if we infuse the idea with taste? Everyone loves food, right? When you make that sensory association, it doesn’t matter what you’re selling. People will remember it.”

“Go on,” I urged, sensing we were on the cusp of something brilliant.

“Think about it. The brand isn’t just selling clothes. It’s selling an experience. An indulgence.” His voice dropped to a near whisper. “Like that first bite of something exquisite that you’ll never forget.”

“An experience that lingers on your palate,” I murmured, my mind spinning with possibilities. “A taste of luxury you can’t forget.” I looked up at him, and our eyes met in a shared moment of triumph.

He sat back on the chair, stealing a bite of the pastry he bought for me. “I’m a fucking genius.”

“You should be doing my job.”

“Ah, but your job doesn’t come with a chef,” he teased back, his eyes flickering with that playful spark that always seemed to ignite something warm in me.

The office air hung thick with unspoken words as we smiled at each other. I fucking wanted to kiss him so bad. More than kiss him. I wanted to touch him and watch him unravel at my hands just like he’d been doing every time we had more than five minutes together at home.

Leaning over the desk, River brought himself as close as propriety would allow, those beautiful eyes holding mine in a silent conversation.

“I should get back to the restaurant,” he said, breaking the spell.

“Okay.” I tried to hide my disappointment but failed miserably

“Saturday,” River continued, “keep it open.”

“Oh yeah? You want to take me out on a date?” I teased.

“As a matter of fact, yes.”

The thought of spending an entire day with River set my pulse racing.

“Okay, I’ll make sure I’m ready for you,” I managed, my voice steady despite the implicit confession.

He winked and then left me in my office with an inconvenient erection and five minutes to go before a meeting with my brothers.