8. Alex

8

*********

"Sorry I can't stayat your place. Hazard of the job," Nik says, piling her pillows along the wall and turning her laptop to face us on her desk.

"I don't mind it here, actually. No dudes screaming obscene shit up and down the stairs. Other than the fact I have to go up one floor to pee, I'm comfortable."

I kick my shoes off and crawl into her bed, glad I put on my sweats and old high school hoodie. Something about being wrapped up in warm, worn-out clothes feels right for wallowing.

"Okay, do we want to relive our youth or watch something new?" She toggles her computer between two screens, one with our favorite show from fifth grade where a family of nine juggles life in New York City—super practical. The other option is a war movie, which feels dismal.

"Maybe just put on the hockey game?" I shrug, and she tilts her head back in laughter.

"Okay, Mr. Hockey Players Get Everything Around Here. I'll put the Tiff game on. You know the student stream is shitty though, right?" She clicks a few links and soon the sound of blades on ice, grunting, and fans echoing in our arena takes over as white noise.

"I don't really need to watch. I just like to listen. And maybe I'll get some tips on confidence from Cutter. That guy's never in a slump." I sink down so my neck is bent and clutch Nikki's giant stuffed strawberry to my chest.

"Cutter can't hit a fastball," she retorts, sinking down next to me, our shoulders touching.

"Ha! Neither can I."

Nikki smacks my chest with her heart pillow and I grunt, though it didn't really hurt. She rolls to her side and points at me.

"Rule number one—no negative talk tonight." She lifts her brows and awaits my agreement. I know better than to refuse.

"Fair rule. Okay, I'll try." And I will try. But I feel pretty low right now. And I'm not sure how to stop this cycle that's following me into the batter's box.

Nikki picks up my arm and slides against my chest. I wrap my arm around her back and hold her shoulder, the same warmth I felt when we danced heating my palm. I tuck my chin, my view of her smoothed-back hair, her eyelashes, the round tip of her nose, and pouty upper lip. Her nose and cheeks are peppered with faint freckles that nobody would notice unless they were this close to her. And for some reason, the thought of anyone else being this close makes my chest squeeze.

"I was nice today," she says, her eyes flitting up to meet my gaze. I'm surprisingly fine with her catching me looking at her. I squint one eye.

"Being nice is generally a good thing," I say with a chuckle.

"No, I mean"—Her gaze drops and she moves her hand up to rest between my ribs. My insides tremble and tighten, and not because I'm ticklish. She lets out a heavy sigh before looking up again—"I was nice to Alicia."

"Oh." I'd honestly forgotten Alicia came. For a tiny second before the game started I noted it, but mostly because I wanted to tell Nikki she was wrong. Now, though, proving Nikki wrong feels pointless. And beyond that, mean.

"Well, thanks for being nice. I doubt she'll be back." Alicia is a lot like Brayden. Actually, maybe the two of them should hook up. They can sit next to each other and stare at their phones, looking at themselves.

"I don't know. She seems like a pretty big Alex Mendoza fan." Nikki's mouth settles into a lopsided smile, and I get the feeling she's jealous. I've always thought that to be the case on some level, but more because she and I are close, and anytime someone else pushes their way into our bubble things feel unbalanced. But now, I'm starting to think she might have a different kind of jealousy. A kind that isn't just for friends.

I swallow the dryness in my throat and move my thumb along her bare shoulder. Her body beats with a sudden breath as her lips part. My gaze dips to the upturn of her top lip, but only for a second. Upon reflection, sweatpants were maybe not the best idea.

"You know I'm not getting back with Alicia, right?" I hold her stare as we both take a deep, slow breath.

"Okay," she says, her raspy voice coming through. She gets this way when she's tired. Or drunk. Or after a concert at which she's been shouting lyrics for two hours straight.

Some of her hair has slipped from behind her ear and it crosses her forehead. I reach across and sweep it back in place, then let my hand linger along her cheek. My thumb caresses the curve of her cheekbone and she turns her head slightly, leaning into my touch as she blinks slowly and sighs.

"Are you trying to make me blush, Alex Mendoza?"

"How so?" I curl my fingers and run my knuckles along her jawline. I'm crossing boundaries right now, and I know better. But I can't seem to stop.

"You're staring at me, and it's?—"

"Weird?" I quirk a brow, wondering if she'll remember our kiss and my incredibly lame response.

She breathes out a tiny laugh and her mouth curves against my fingers.

"Yeah, weird," she says, her eyes settling on mine.

Her body is so still, I think she may be holding her breath. I'm definitely guarding mine. No sudden movements. Nothing to disturb this fragile ecosystem. Only me and Nik and the line that I'm casually moving further and further from safe.

My gaze dips to her mouth again as I inch my thumb along her lips. She exhales a soft breath, her dark lashes kissing the tops of her cheeks as her eyes close. There are plenty of times I've wanted to kiss my best friend, including the time we were coaxed into it our freshman year. I've always been able to stop myself when we're alone, but I'm starting to wonder why?

Why stop?

Because what if . . .

"Was it weird?" she says, her lips moving softly against my thumb. She pulls them together and presses a soft kiss to the side of my hand.

I feel it.

I open my mouth but pause, drawing in a breath, unable to take my eyes off her inviting lips, her beautiful brown eyes, the way her lashes somehow act like dark angel wings.

"Well?"

A tinge of nervousness vibrates her voice, so I ease my lips into a soft smile and tilt my head, sliding down lower on the bed so we're closer to the same level. She shifts to lay on her side so we're facing, and her hands gather the strings of my hoodie into two fists.

I smirk.

"It was weird only because that's not how I ever pictured it," I say.

She draws in a sharp breath, then bites her bottom lip. I tug it free, mostly to have an excuse to leave my thumb on her mouth for longer. It's soft. Plump. Intoxicating.

"You imagined kissing me?"

I chuckle softly and nod my forehead toward hers, nearly touching her.

"All. The damn. Time," I admit.

Her cheeks flush, and being so close, and the fact she's wearing her oversized Van Halen T-shirt that falls off her shoulder and slings low at the neck, I can see that much of her upper body is pink.

"You ever think about it?" I have my suspicions, but also, it's Nikki. When you're as close as the two of us, sometimes it's hard to read signs. I've always thought she felt something more, but also—it's Nikki.

She drops her gaze and tucks her chin, her forehead touching my collarbone as she laughs lightly.

"You have no idea, Alex Mendoza."

I nudge her chin back with my fingertips and hold her gaze. She doesn't blink. Neither do I. I don't want to miss anything.

"Maybe it was weird because everyone was staring at us."

"Mmm, yeah. That part"—she chuckles—"was definitely weird."

"Like, I think I remember someone shouting chug, chug, chug in the background," I say, and we both laugh. Nervously.

"You know, we could try again. For scientific purposes. Without the crowd. So we know for sure, I mean. You know . . . if kissing me is . . . weird."

My smile softens and my tongue peeks out from between my teeth and bottom lip. My skin buzzes with the urge to drop all caution. To go for it.

"For science, hmm?" Nikki hums.

I nod.

"Yeah," I say, my mouth now close enough to hers that it brushes against her bottom lip as I speak.

"For the record, Alex," she says, taking a nip at my upper lip between words. My chest ignites, and my body shifts automatically, so I'm lying on top of her, caging her head between my forearms. I pull back enough to look her in her eyes, sweeping her hair back and cupping her face. She's always been beautiful.

"I never thought it was weird," she says, and my smile crawls across my mouth.

I close my eyes and shake my head, then waste no more precious time. I cover her mouth with mine, sucking her top lip in, fighting the urge to bite it. That lip. Damn, that lip! More than her curves in those tight jeans, I have spent years looking at the upturned lip next to me in the passenger seat.

While I'm holding back, Nikki's teeth graze along my lower lip, tugging my skin as her tongue passes over it.

"Gah!" I let out, peppering her lips with kisses as laughter sets in.

"What?" She giggles.

"This! It isn't weird at all. It's so fucking not weird," I say, diving in for more.

Her mouth opens, deepening our kiss, and I allow my tongue to explore all of her. She bends her knee against my hip, and I doubt there's a chance she isn't feeling what she's doing to me. When her hips lift, I know she is.

"Nicole Jasmine Thomas," I utter softly in her ear as I make my way down the curve of her neck. She breathes out a short laugh that quickly melts into a whimper.

"You're going to have to tell me when," I say, my teeth tugging at the collar of her T-shirt.

"When?" she breathes out, arching her back. Is this permission?

I swallow hard and kiss her bare shoulder, then the divot along her throat.

"When to stop," I say, grabbing the center of her collar with my teeth and tugging it lower. She's dressed for bed. And I've slept with her enough—sleeping—to know she takes her bra off the minute she has a chance.

"And if I don't?" she says, sinking her teeth into my neck. I think she might actually leave a mark. I hope she does.

I halt my kisses and stare at the tiny heart-shaped mole on the center of her collarbone. I make a wish on it as if it's a star. Please don't fuck up this friendship.

"Then I won't," I say, dragging my hand down the side of her body and gripping her thigh, pulling her leg up even more so I can sink into her. So she can feel what she does to me.

I thread my fingers through hers on one side, holding her hand against the bed as we kiss while my other hand glides up her waist, under her T-shirt and to the bottom curve of her breast. It's taking all the willpower I have to slow down, to savor every first. And when Nikki moans into my mouth, arching her back, basically begging my hand to keep trailing upward, I give in.

My fingertips graze the hard peak of her nipple, and I run my thumb over it next, in circles until I feel her breathing pick up with want. I squeeze the hard peak between my thumb and index finger, rolling it to ease her need. Her hips buck up, pressing her body into my hard cock. She's wearing those tiny little sleep shorts, the ones that look like boxers, and I want to rip them off.

Tugging her shirt up to expose her tits, I drop my mouth to the one I've now rolled into a raw bright pink with my hand, soothing it with my tongue.

"Oh, my God!" Nikki pants. I flick the hard tip with my tongue, feeling her body quiver every time I do. I suck it in and hold it between my teeth as she writhes beneath me, her hands deep in my hair, grabbing fists full.

I move to the other one, flicking again, puckering it with my lips then sucking it into my mouth so my teeth can graze the soft pink tip.

"You taste so fucking good, Nik. I never want to stop tasting you. All of you," I say, leading her to what I really want.

"Yes," she moans, her hands dropping to my shoulders as she pushes me lower.

I sit up, straddling her and pulling her T-shirt over her head, tossing it to the floor, then pause for just a breath to admire her. My hands roam over her shoulders, my fingers painting down her tits, my fingers curling to scratch along her hard nipples. All the while her hips wiggle beneath me.

When she reaches for the bottom of my hoodie, I take her direction and pull it over my head, sending it to the floor with her concert shirt. Her palms flatten on my stomach, her fingers taking their time to trace along my muscles. Every damn crunch in that gym was worth this moment right now. Her palms trail up my chest, then over my pecs. I drop down, kissing her and allowing her time to touch my back, and my hips. And then her palm drops to my massive hard-on, cupping it and running her thumb along the length through my sweatpants.

"Oh, fuck!" I groan, tucking my mouth in the crook of her neck.

I lick my way down her body, stopping to taste her nipples one more time before continuing down her body, between her ribs, to her belly button. The small stud she's had since we were teenagers looks a whole lot different like this, and I flick it with my tongue.

"I told you that was sexy," she says, teasing me for calling it dumb when we were sixteen.

I kiss her belly.

"You were right, Nik. This"—I pause to flick it again with my tongue—"is very sexy."

"Oh," she says, her voice breathy and raw.

I curl my fingers into the band of her sleep shorts and slide them down her body, stopping to kiss the white silk band of her panties that cuts across her abdomen. She lifts her hips and I roll her shorts down more, sliding them over her curves as I sit up on my knees to let her slip her legs out one at a time.

She's trembling, and I'm sure she's nervous. This step is momentous. It's irreversible. It will change everything. She's revealing herself to me, for the first time in our lives. To know someone so well and then to see them bare, vulnerable.

Mine.

"Goddamn, Nik." I bite my thumbnail as I take her in.

She tucks her chin against her shoulder, demure. Shy. Her leg comes up, knee bending and tucking in to hide her modesty.

"Yeah?" she asks, and it isn't a play. She isn't being coy. She's worried too.

I nod slowly and lift her leg to my side as my eyes hold hers hostage.

"Yeah, Nikki. Fucking beautiful," I say, closing my eyes and kissing the inside of her knee. "Very much yeah."

I lower her leg and press both palms on her knees, carefully reaching behind her legs until I have her secure enough to help her to the edge of the bed, which isn't far. My feet find the floor and I lift her hips, pulling her gently by the legs until she's trapped at the edge of her mattress, her legs under my control, her pussy mine to taste.

"Are we stopping?" I ask, hoping she says no. She shakes her head and I drop to my knees, spreading her legs wide, the thin silk band that covers her pussy hiding very little. She's so swollen, so ready to be tasted.

That friend line? Fucking obliterated.

I hook my finger around the thin strip that hides nothing and allow my knuckle to press into her swollen pussy. Her knees close around me, and I chuckle.

"Ah ah ah, princess. Keep those legs open," I command. She relaxes, and her legs spread more, giving me more.

"Fuck," I mutter, licking my lips as I pull the center strip of her panties to the side. Leaning in, I first taste her with the tip of my tongue, taking languid strokes along her center and pausing to press my tongue against the most sensitive spot. Her hips buck, so I reach up with my hand and press down on her abdomen, lowering her and pinning her to the edge of the bed.

I torture her with slow glides of my tongue for several minutes, until she's breathing as if she ran a marathon. I can feel the force of her pelvis working to push up against my hand. I sit up, my mouth leaving her only for a moment so I can tug her panties down her hips and over her ass. She lifts, then allows me to bring her legs over my shoulder to pull her panties away completely. She's less shy now, and allows me to shift her legs back, spreading them wide so I can taste all of her.

I lap her up and she begins to moan, her hips circling while I suckle in her swollen pink center. My hand trails from her hip to her abdomen, my fingertips following the thin trail of hair that leads to her perfect pussy. Her skin is so soft. Her taste sweet, like a tonic of sugar and lavender.

When my hand sinks between her legs, I dip a finger inside of her, hooking it just enough to press where she can feel the most pleasure.

"Oh, my God, Alex!" She covers her face with her forearm and arches her back as I move my finger in and out of her.

"Do you like this, Nikki?"

"Uh huh," she whines.

I add a second finger, moving them in and out as I continue to suck the top of her pussy, my hand covered in her wetness. I'm so hard, it's difficult not to be selfish. I want to drive my dick inside of her right now, but also, more than anything, I want to see her come because of me. I want to see what her face looks like when I give her pleasure. I want to taste every last drop.

"Can I make you come, Nikki?" I slow my hand and she whimpers, nodding.

"Then I need to see your face."

Her mouth opens, her bottom lip trembling as she lifts her head so her eyes meet mine.

"Look what I do to you," I say, dropping my chin and licking her up.

"Uh huh," she cries.

"Do you like it when my tongue tastes your pussy?" Words I've maybe fantasized about saying to her fall from my mouth with ease. I want to say so much more, but I'll hold back for now.

"Yes, Alex. Very much," she whimpers.

"Can you come on my tongue?" I flick her skin once, then lift my head to meet her eyes.

She nods, then brings her fist to her mouth, biting her knuckle. The way I have her nearly undone makes me smile. I suck her raw center into my mouth and punish it with my tongue while my fingers work in and out. Her hips buck, the rhythm growing faster, and I'm not sure who is driving the speed—me or her.

Her thighs start to close in on me and I know she's close.

"Leave those open, baby. I want you to take it all," I say, and she shakes, forcing her legs to splay.

Pressing my thumb down on the top of her pussy, I let my tongue push in and out of her until I feel her lower body begin to tremble.

"Oh, Alex!" She's not quiet at all, and I love it.

"That's it," I praise, feeling her start to convulse. Her pussy flexes around my tongue then squeezes, and I lick every drop that escapes her, consuming her.

When her hands fall to her sides and her legs go slack, I feel satisfied that I've drained every last wave of pleasure from her core. I sit back on my heels and breathe her in, reaching into my sweatpants and fisting my cock for relief.

Nikki lifts herself up on her elbows, her eyes dipping to the edge of the mattress. She bites her lower lip.

"It's only fair," she says.

"Oh, thank God," I say, getting to my feet and working my sweats down my legs at record speed.

Nikki scoots to the end of the bed, sitting up and wrapping her hand around mine where I'm holding myself.

"Let me get this," she says, a devilish flirtation to her tone.

I relent and let go, my hands moving to caress her face, to slide the loose hairs from her eyes and mouth, to gather her hair in one hand, vowing to let her lead.

Her eyes flutter up to me just as she sticks out her tongue and rests the tip of my dick on it. I'm in fucking trouble.

With the slightest grin on her lips, she closes them around my shaft and slowly takes me in, inch by inch, her eyes never leaving mine. I pull her hair tighter, relaxing when I expect her to wince. She moans instead, so I give her head a little push as her mouth slides down my cock again.

I'm not a giant, but I'm definitely not small. And I don't want to hurt her. But also, the idea of watching her swallow my cum has me on the very edge, so whatever pain this may cause will be brief. I move my hips slowly at first, fucking her mouth. She braces herself with her hands on my hips, never once resisting. I push in deeper, and when I pull out, she sucks my tip, which pushes me over the edge.

"Oh, fuck, Nik. I'm going to come," I warn her. She wraps her hand around my base and slides her mouth around my cock, the sound of her lips smacking, her throat being pushed to the limit, the tiny whimper that leaves her body every time she takes me.

I'm no use against these forces, and I fill her mouth with my cum, pumping until I'm sure she's taken it all. My head falls back and I exhale, my body covered in a sheen of sweat. How is she so perfect still? I instantly consider spoiling her next time.

Next time.

There will be a next time.

I help her wipe her chin, then coax her back in bed so she's lying flat and caged beneath me. I press a kiss to her forehead, then stop to look into her eyes. I can't pull myself away, and I know it's getting awkward the longer I stare into her without words, but I can't believe what I've been missing.

"For the record," I say, dropping a soft kiss to her lips. "Not weird at all."

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