Chapter Twenty-Seven

AVA

Ava paced back and forth, trying to decide what to do. They'd stayed two nights in Cologne, and another night in a hay barn outside of Düren, but all Ava could think about was what Hanna had said to her, about where they would meet.

‘I'm going back to look for her,' she said, reaching for her coat. ‘What if she's there waiting for us and she doesn't know where to go?'

David stood, and she didn't miss the way he gestured to Eliana, who quietly disappeared from sight.

‘No,' David said. ‘I can't let you do that.'

‘What do you mean, you can't let me? You heard what she said, she's my sister and Hanna—'

‘Gave me this letter,' he interrupted, as he reached into the pocket of his jacket. ‘Ava, Hanna gave me this before we left. She also asked me to stay with you while you read it.' He gently touched her arm. ‘I promised her I would, so please don't make me break that promise.'

Ava looked up at him, confused, but there was an expression on his face, a pain there, that took her by surprise. ‘Why are you looking at me like that? What else did Hanna say?'

He nudged the letter into her hands. ‘Please, just read this. You'll understand once you've read her words.'

‘She's not coming, is she?' Ava closed her eyes, feeling the weight of the paper in her fingers. She's not coming. I believed her when she said she'd follow, but she had no intention of coming after us.

David didn't answer her, he just watched her, as if waiting for her to fall, waiting to catch her, waiting for her to read something that she already knew she didn't want to read.

The letter was folded in two, and she slowly opened it, immediately recognising her sister's handwriting. David didn't move away and neither did she, as her eyes quickly scanned the words, wondering if Hanna had decided on a new plan that for some reason she'd wanted to keep secret. Perhaps they were to meet somewhere else, perhaps she'd been wrong in thinking she wasn't coming.

Dear Ava,

I've never been very good at saying goodbye, and so I thought it would be easier to write you a letter. David promised me he'd give this to you once it was too late for you to come back for me – please don't be angry with him, because I gave him no choice.

Ava, I want you to live a wonderful life for both of us. I want you to fall in love, get married, and grow old. Those things were taken away from me when Michael and Hugo died, which is why I was always prepared to sacrifice my life to save others, to save families and keep those children safe. It was also why I was prepared to sacrifice my life for yours. I will fight until my very last breath to protect those who need protecting, and I understand the consequences of that decision, even though I also know how painful those words will be for you to read.

There is something I need you to do for me though, Ava. Once the war is over, once there is no more fighting and hate left in the world, if that time ever comes, I need you to dig up every jar that we buried. I need you to dedicate yourself to reuniting those families, to giving answers to those mothers who were forced to leave their children, to sharing the information I saved with the authorities. And if the parents have perished, which has always been my greatest fear, I want those children to know how much their parents sacrificed to give them a chance at life. I want them to know that there was nothing they wouldn't have done to save them. I need you to find them and tell them that.

I love you, Ava, so much that it breaks my heart to write to you. But one day I hope you'll understand what I've done, and why.

With all my love, Hanna.

‘No,' Ava said, shaking her head as she stared at the letter. ‘No!'

‘Ava—'

‘You knew?' she cried, shoving David backwards, the heels of her hands slamming into his shoulders. ‘You knew she wasn't coming? All this time you knew and you didn't tell me?'

‘Ava, please—'

‘No!' she cried, beating her fists against his chest. ‘I will not let her do this, I won't. I'm going back for her!'

‘Ava,' David said again, gathering her into his arms, ignoring her protests as he folded her tightly against him, his hands firm against her back.

She fought his hold until a shudder of tears forced her to give in, and she buried her face against him while he rocked her, and held her through every gasp and cry. It wasn't his fault, she knew that, but to think that Hanna wasn't coming, that she'd hugged her for the very last time, that she'd never see her again, and that David could have told her...

‘Did you really know?' Ava asked, once she'd caught her breath. She pushed back from him and looked up into his eyes. ‘Did you know she wasn't coming? I need you to tell me the truth.'

‘I suspected as much,' he said, gently brushing her hair from her eyes, his fingers soft against her skin when he wiped away her tears. ‘But no, I didn't know for sure.'

‘Do you think she's already—' Ava choked on the word, finding it almost impossible to expel. ‘Gone?'

David nodded. ‘I think there's a chance they're all gone by now,' he said, pulling her close again, her head tucked beneath his chin. ‘I don't see how they could have survived what was to come. They sacrificed themselves for us, to give us time to put distance between ourselves and them.'

‘But there's a chance? There's a chance they could have made it, that they're in hiding, that—'

‘Yes, Ava, there's always a chance. There is absolutely always a chance.'

But Ava knew, deep down, she knew. There was an ache inside of her, a bone-deep pain that she'd never felt before. Yesterday, she'd had a family, and now, she had no one.

Ava looked up at David, at the kindness in his expression, at the pain in his eyes. They'd both lost so much.

‘I'm sorry,' he said.

Ava reached for his hand, her palm against his. Her breath shuddered from between her lips, and she forced herself to lift her head instead of wallowing in her pain.

‘We have to survive, for them. We have to escape and not return until it's all over.'

Eliana stepped out of the shadows, and Ava held out her other hand, clasping Eliana's when she reached her.

‘Their lives can't have been for nothing. The three of us, we are survivors,' Ava said, looking from David to Eliana, a strength forming that she'd never felt before, pushing against the tide of grief that was raging inside her. ‘And we will survive until the bitter end. We have no choice, we have to survive. For them.'

I promise you, Hanna, I will survive to reunite those families. I will make sure everyone knows your name, that they know what you sacrificed to give others the chance to live. I will do this for you until my very last breath.