Chapter XXIII

L ate in July, Longbourn received a most curious visitor. It was the afternoon of a day that Longbourn was to host the Netherfield party for dinner; an exchange of invitations by now had become a common occurrence, one which often included the family at Lucas Lodge, though that evening the Lucases were not to attend. Bennet was in his study going through a few odds and ends, investigating the books left behind by old Mr. Collins, a task to which he still applied himself when other matters were not pressing. As he was thus engaged, he heard a knock on the door and called out his permission to enter.

? Mrs. Hill appeared and curtseyed, saying: "Mr. Bennet, a man has arrived at the door asking to speak to you. He says that he is a Mr. William Collins."

? "William Collins," repeated Bennet, wondering what the man was about. "I will own that I am not familiar with old Mr. Collins's relations—do you know of his connection with the former master?"

? "I do not, Mr. Bennet, for I have never set eyes on him before. Mr. Collins claims to be a cousin of Mr. Thaddeus."

? "Very well," said Bennet with a nod. "Please show him in."

? Mrs. Hill left to do his bidding, returning only moments later with a tall man wearing the collar of a cleric. He was thin and angular, his clothing dark as befitting his station, his coloring pale, nose like the beak of a hawk. On the man's head was a tousled mop of black hair, full and showing nary a hint of gray, while his eyes were a piercing blue. As Mrs. Hill announced him, Mr. Collins swept into the room and executed a low bow, the sort of obeisance one might make to a monarch or the Archbishop of Canterbury rather than a modest country gentleman. Mrs. Hill, it appeared, was as bemused as Bennet, for she regarded the man for a moment with evident curiosity before letting herself from the room.

? "Mr. Collins," said Bennet, making his way around the desk to offer his hand, wondering if this meeting would be at all convivial, given the man's apparent connection to the late Mr. Collins.

? "Mr. Bennet," intoned the parson, accepting his hand at once. "Thank you for welcoming me into your home, sir, for I understand it is nothing less than the most profound imposition for me to appear without warning. I am cognizant of the proprieties of the situation, and in my defense, I can only say that knowing of your recent inheritance, I took the first available opportunity to present myself to you as close kin and congratulate you on your recent prosperity."

? Mr. Collins punctuated this rambling speech with another low bow, which forced Bennet to school his features to suppress the mirth he was feeling at the sight of this man. When Mr. Collins straightened, he looked at Bennet, and while Bennet had considered it unlikely he would find the opportunity to insert his opinion, he did not hesitate to respond. At least the question of whether this man intended to dispute his inheritance appeared to be answered.

? "Please, sit with me, sir, for I am afraid I have no knowledge of you. Given your surname, I assume you are connected to the late Mr. Collins?

? "I am," confirmed Mr. Collins. "Mr. Thaddeus Collins was my father's cousin, making me his cousin once removed. My father and Mr. Collins were not close in their lifetimes because of a disagreement persisting between them from the time my father was a young man—due to age differences and when their fathers married, my father was substantially younger than his cousin. I was, unfortunately, unable to bridge the distance during Mr. Collins's lifetime, yet as I was advised of late, it is best to allow old injuries to fade into the past. ‘Forgive others so that we may also receive forgiveness,' as the Holy Bible tells us."

? "Yes, I taught that bit of scripture many times," agreed Bennet. "Before I came into my inheritance, I was a parson of a parish near Nottingham."

? "A fellow man of the cloth!" exclaimed Mr. Collins, appearing to appreciate the connection. "That is most excellent sir, for I love nothing better than to discuss doctrine, preaching styles, and different ways of persuading the flock to follow our Savior."

? "Then I would be happy to sit down with you in such an endeavor whenever convenient," replied Bennet. "If you are a cousin once removed to Thaddeus Collins, that would make you a far more distant cousin to me. Forgive me, but I do not know the exact degree."

? "So I understand it, though I have no more notion of it than you," said Collins. "I appreciate your accepting me in this manner, considering the history between our families, and I congratulate you on your recent prosperity."

? Mr. Collins considered for a moment and shrugged, saying: "To own the truth, for a time, I thought it possible my cousin might will the estate to me as his closest living relation."

? "As you speak of the past," said Bennet, certain the man was stating his opinion with no intent to censure, "then you know that the estate would have come to me anyway without your cousin's interference."

? "As I might have told him myself had the opportunity presented itself," replied Mr. Collins with a decisive nod. "I shall not pretend to know the exact sequence of events that led to my cousin disinheriting your father; I know it was not the act of an upright man, and in this opinion, I am led by that which my father related to me on more than one occasion. My father, you see, was also a parson—his opinion concerning the event was such that he spoke to Mr. Collins more than once about the sin he had committed. It formed the basis of their estrangement, for Mr. Collins had no desire to listen to my father speak on the matter, and my father felt called upon to preach repentance, regardless of the sinner's willingness to acknowledge his guilt."

? Surprised by this admission, Bennet nodded. "That is often the trick of being a parson. To call the sinner to repentance is among our most holy callings, yet to do so with compassion and delicacy can often be a fine line to walk."

? "It is. In this situation, I cannot but suppose my father did not walk the line as proficiently as he might have; then again, as the estate devolved to you, perhaps he played some small part in bringing Mr. Collins to acknowledge his iniquity. Had the estate devolved to me, I had some notion of ceding it to you. It is fortunate my cousin did not test my fortitude, for it is difficult for any man to give up prosperity that comes their way, and while I am confident in my sense of rightness, I believe it has all worked out well in the end."

? As verbose and flowery as this man's conversation was, Bennet enjoyed his company, and not only for his assertions. There were, Bennet supposed, few men who were so upright as to consider the proper path above one's selfish concerns, and Bennet already had a notion that William Collins was one of those men. Some men may call him ridiculous and given his wordy statements Bennet could not but suppose Collins had a ridiculous side of his character. He also appeared conscientious and knowledgeable about his vocation, and Bennet could never disapprove of a man who took the call to the priesthood seriously. There were many, several of Bennet's acquaintance, who looked on the church as a vocation, a means to support oneself and nothing more, and there were even those who were not good men who piously hid behind the collar of their office, used the position to excuse or even justify their depravities.

? "Thank you for the sentiment, Mr. Collins," said Bennet. "It is good to know that not all of Mr. Collins's family supported his actions. Now, shall you not tell me something of yourself?"

? For some time after, they spoke about Mr. Collins's current situation, his extended family, and the Bennets' recent doings after inheriting their estate. Mr. Collins had received his ordination the previous year and was now situated in a parish in Kent. The man told anecdotes of his recent experiences and spoke of his patroness at some length, but while his praise of the woman was so expansive as to border on being gauche, he omitted her name. From what he said, Bennet thought the man was at least a competent parson, his knowledge of the scriptures sound, and while he confessed to uncertainty about what to do when faced with certain situations, he appeared to have something of good sense, little though the manner he presented himself might suggest it. That he praised his patroness for her wisdom was nothing less than Bennet might have expected, yet he sensed Collins was not tied to the woman's dictates without the ability to think for himself.

? Bennet responded with his recent experiences in learning to manage the estate and become accustomed to his situation, agreeing with Collins that many of the details he related were akin to what a parson might face in his parish. Collins, it appeared, was eager to learn, for he listened raptly when Bennet spoke and asked intelligent questions. He was, Bennet decided, a man who wanted for a certain amount of guidance, not always trusting himself to do what was best, yet having the ability to work out such things for himself when he took the trouble and had the confidence to do so. If his manner was a little pompous, his conversation effusive and even a little pretentious, Bennet sensed he was a good sort of man, one with whom he would not hesitate to maintain a connection.

? At length, when they had spoken for perhaps forty-five minutes, Mr. Collins rose to depart, citing his need to find lodgings for the night. Bennet was not about to allow this.

? "Please, Mr. Collins, will you not stay at Longbourn? We have plenty of rooms, and while the décor is a little dated, I am certain it would be more than comfortable."

? "Is it not an imposition?" asked the parson, though appearing grateful for the offer. "I should not wish to inconvenience you."

? "Not at all, sir," replied Bennet. "You have not made the acquaintance of my daughters, and I would like to introduce you. We are to welcome guests for dinner, and my girls would never forgive me if I sent you away without even a hearty meal to see you on your journey."

? "That is most generous, sir," said Mr. Collins, capitulating. "If it is no trouble, I shall accept your hospitality with gratitude."

? "Of course, Mr. Collins, I insist. Do you have some personal effects with you?"

? "Nothing more than a small trunk I put in the care of your excellent housekeeper. It was my plan to stay at the inn in Meryton tonight and return to Kent on the morrow."

? "Then I shall ask the servants to take it to your room so you may refresh yourself. When you are ready, please ask Mrs. Hill to guide you to the sitting-room where I shall introduce you to my daughters and a guest staying with us."

? After offering an extended profusion of thanks, Mr. Collins allowed Mrs. Hill to lead him away, leaving Bennet shaking his head and chuckling after the departed parson. Esteem Collins though he did, he could not but recognize the man was far too pompous for his own good. Lizzy in particular would find the gentleman an irresistible force, for she would see his foibles as clearly as Bennet did himself. It was fortunate, he reflected as he left his study to join the ladies, that his predecessor had not seen fit to leave Longbourn to his cousin. Collins appeared to be competent as a parson, but Bennet doubted he would have the foggiest notion of how to manage an estate. Perhaps he was being a little harsh on the man, for they had spoken of the similarities—the thought would not leave him that Collins's vocation suited him.

Elizabeth found herself no less than curious about the man who had appeared in their midst without warning. Mrs. Hill had brought them word of the man's coming and his likely identity, but he had spent so much time closeted with her father that she wondered after the reason for his visit. The way her father broached the subject and spoke of him told Elizabeth that he was an oddity, but nothing could have prepared her for just how singular he was.

? "How fortunate I am to make the acquaintance of all my dear cousins," said Mr. Collins when Mr. Bennet performed the introductions, his expansive greetings apropos of his character. "I am highly gratified to claim the company of such lovely ladies, and even more fortunate that your excellent father saw fit to favor me with an invitation for the night. Thank you all for your wonderful hospitality; please be in no doubt of my humble appreciation."

? Mr. Bennet shared an expressive look with Elizabeth, prompting her to shake her head and roll her eyes. There appeared to be no true harm in Mr. Collins, and her father would not have allowed him to stay if he suspected anything amiss, but the term oddity was entirely insufficient to describe the man bowing before them.

? "I would also like to present," said Mr. Bennet when Mr. Collins appeared poised to repeat his excessive thanks, "our current houseguest. Mr. Collins, this is the sister of my excellent friend, Miss Georgiana Darcy."

? Despite what any of them expected, Mr. Collins's eyes bulged out at the grinning girl, stupefied into silence. His surprise did not last long, for he shook his head and appeared to come to his senses, such as they were.

? "Miss Georgiana Darcy?" cried he. "Pardon me, Miss Darcy, but I believe I have heard of you. Are you Georgiana Darcy of Pemberley in Derbyshire?"

? Mystified though she was, Georgiana responded in the affirmative, which prompted Mr. Collins's shock to turn to something akin to reverence. Before he could unleash his effusions, however, Miss Hill entered with their guests, Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley leading the two Bingley ladies.

? "Ah, Darcy, Bingley," greeted Mr. Bennet, pulling Mr. Collins's astounded attention to the two gentlemen. "Welcome. As you can see, we have an unexpected guest to whom I would like to introduce you."

? Mr. Bennet performed the introductions watching the parson's reaction. Elizabeth felt no small measure of curiosity herself, given Mr. Collins's abortive response to Georgiana, though she could not fathom the connection. Mr. Collins did not disappoint.

? "I am beyond honored, Mr. Darcy," said Mr. Collins at once, bowing so low that Elizabeth might almost think Mr. Darcy a monarch. "When I determined to visit my cousin in Hertfordshire, I never imagined I would find my excellent patroness's esteemed family in residence at the same. Let me take this opportunity to inform you that Lady Catherine de Bourgh—who you must understand is my munificent patroness in Kent—and her excellent daughter were well when I spoke to them only three days ago."

? Mr. Darcy's mouth curled up in a curious grimace, though Elizabeth could not make out quite what he was feeling. Considering what she had heard of the infamous Lady Catherine, coupled with Mr. Darcy's tales of the lady's expectations regarding her daughter, she thought it might have something to do with that. A moment's contemplation on the subject, considering Mr. Collins's veneration of Lady Catherine and what she had heard of the lady's character, informed her of the likely danger of betraying Mr. Darcy's recent attentions to Mr. Collins, who would lose no time in relating them to the lady. How she would react Elizabeth could well imagine, for a mounted regiment might not be enough to prevent her from making her way to Hertfordshire at once to make her sentiments known.

? "Thank you for that intelligence, Mr. Collins," said Mr. Darcy with no trace of irony. "While I receive occasional updates from my aunt, it is gratifying to know they are well. Tell me, have you been at Hunsford for long?"

? Mr. Collins beamed at Mr. Darcy's apparent interest. "Only a little more than a year, Mr. Darcy. You see, I received my ordination just before Easter last year and came to her ladyship's attention soon thereafter."

? "Which was about the time old Chambers passed away, or so I recall," said Mr. Darcy with a nod. "That was just after I visited last year, for I attend my aunt at Easter."

? Mr. Darcy fell silent, considering the parson before he ventured: "This Easter, my cousin, the Viscount Banbury visited in my stead."

? "Which is why we have not yet met," said Mr. Collins with a nod, "though I was fortunate to make your cousin's acquaintance."

? Then a peculiar thing happened, for Mr. Collins appeared to start and regard Mr. Darcy. When he spoke again the exaggerated deference was absent.

? "Again, allow me to say how pleased I am to make your acquaintance, Mr. Darcy. And your excellent friends, of course." Mr. Collins bowed to Mr. Bingley and his sisters. "I hope to repeat the experience, sir, for it appears you are a friend of my cousin, and I hope to maintain cordial relations with him as well."

? "I am certain we shall be in company together often, Mr. Collins," assured Mr. Darcy. Elizabeth noted the gentleman betrayed no hint of his feelings on the matter.

? Thereafter, the company remained in the same attitude, but unlike previous occasions in Mr. Darcy's company, the gentleman made no attempt to approach Elizabeth. Unless Elizabeth missed her guess, it was because he did not wish to give Mr. Collins any reason to suspect him of harboring interest in one of the ladies. Instead, she thought Mr. Darcy intent upon keeping the parson's attention on himself, and Mr. Collins was happy to pay every deference to the nephew of his marvelous patroness. A few moments before the call to dinner arrived, Mr. Darcy contrived to excuse himself from Mr. Collins's company, leaving him distracted by Mr. Bennet and Mr. Bingley, who seemed to understand his purpose. As the rest of the ladies were in a cluster together, they were all present to hear Mr. Darcy's explanation; as an added advantage, he would give no impression of interest in any particular lady.

? "You appear to be quite taken with the inestimable Mr. Collins," observed Elizabeth, keeping her tone dry and disinterested.

? Georgiana and Mary could not hold in their giggles, while Jane and Louisa looked on amused. Even Caroline appeared to find humor in the situation, if her faint smile was any clue. William grinned at her witticism, then turned serious.

? "I hope you will forgive me, Miss Elizabeth, for I fear I must keep my distance tonight."

? "I already apprehended the difficulty, Mr. Darcy," replied Elizabeth, keeping a tight rein on her mirth. "As you have spoken of your aunt and her particular... eccentricities, I cannot but suppose she would look on any intelligence of you paying attention to me with a dim eye."

? "Aunt Catherine terrifies me!" exclaimed Georgiana, much to the amusement of all.

? "You are correct, of course, Miss Elizabeth," replied Mr. Darcy, showing his sister a smile. "I hope, Georgiana, that you will take Miss Elizabeth's example and learn to deal with our aunt with fortitude. Then again, you may not need to, for if I defy her, Lady Catherine will break with us." Mr. Darcy grinned. "That will not prevent her from berating me over the post, nor do I think her offense would survive her eventual curiosity. She would no doubt see it as her duty to ensure the woman I marry is suitable and capable of upholding the family honor."

? "I heard something of your aunt, Mr. Darcy," said a hesitant Caroline. "Most who speak of the subject of your marital status believe you will never gratify your aunt by submitting to her demand."

? "Over the years, I ensured that opinion has spread throughout the ton, Miss Caroline," replied Mr. Darcy with a nod. "I have no affinity for my cousin and little interest in managing an estate the size of Rosings from so distant a location as my estate in Derbyshire, even if I spend part of the year in London. As for my cousin, she has no more desire to marry me than I wish to join myself to her. We keep our own counsel to avoid turmoil in the family."

? "And yet it is inevitable, for you must marry to continue your line."

? Mr. Darcy smiled and nodded. "Yes, I must, and I know how my aunt will react. Yet there is little point in provoking an argument until I must."

? No one present missed the steady look Mr. Darcy gave Elizabeth, nor the affection she returned. Georgiana appeared no less than delighted by the obvious warmth between them, as did Jane and Mary. Louisa looked on with polite interest, though her sly looks at Elizabeth informed anyone who wished to see of her good information, and even Caroline regarded her with open respect.

? "I will own, Miss Elizabeth," said Caroline, "that I wished to inhabit the position you now occupy, yet I do not envy you. When Lady Catherine learns of Mr. Darcy's recent attentions to you, I cannot imagine she will refrain from confronting you. I consider myself to be no shrinking violet, but perhaps I am better suited to watch such scenes from afar."

? Elizabeth laughed and pressed Caroline's hand in affection. "Should you be in my position—a situation I will note that does not exist at present! —I cannot imagine you would falter."

? "There is another facet to consider," said Mr. Darcy.

? He looked on Caroline with some compassion, as if not wishing to speak, but knowing it would be best if she understood what he wished to inform her. Elizabeth had a notion of what he would say, and she thought it was right, though difficult, to ensure she understood certain truths.

? "Should I fix on a woman my aunt considers unsuitable, her anger would be a sight to behold. Miss Elizabeth is not an heiress possessing a fabulous fortune or connections to the highest of society, but my aunt will relent and accept her because she is a gentlewoman."

? Miss Bingley regarded him, revealing nothing of her thoughts. "She is, but you must own that she has not been one for long." With a slight smile at Elizabeth, she added: "Though I comprehend the esteem we all hold the clergy, it is true they are not the same as gentlemen."

? Elizabeth nodded to show she took no offense. "You are correct. I will point out that my ancestors until my grandfather were proprietors of this very property."

? "Which will make you an acceptable, though perhaps a little unorthodox match," said Mr. Darcy, while Caroline nodded her agreement.

? "Regardless, while I have no compunction at all about informing Lady Catherine of my decision when I make it, now is not the correct time to prod that bee's nest. Tonight, I will keep my distance and allow Mr. Collins to go away with memories of a pleasant night in our company, but with no notion of anything between us. When I deem it the appropriate time, I shall brave all Lady Catherine's displeasure."

? "But William," said Georgiana, a hint of trepidation in her pleading look, "do you not suppose Lady Catherine will deplore our residence here? I cannot imagine she will be sanguine about my current residence with the Bennets."

? "No, Georgiana," said Darcy, "I suspect her ladyship will betray her annoyance to everyone within range of her voice, considering how many times she has droned on about the need to maintain the barriers between the classes. There are several demanding letters in my future, for Lady Catherine will not hesitate to make her opinion known.

? "Yet she will not journey here for such a trifling reason, so there is no reason to fear. I am your guardian, not Lady Catherine, and she will accept my assurances of the Bennets' worthiness, even if she will begrudge my determination to follow my own counsel."

? "Thank you, William," replied Georgiana with an unmistakable fervency. "I should not wish to trifle with Lady Catherine, for she is a veritable gorgon when she is angry."

? "That she is, my dear," replied Mr. Darcy.

? At that moment, Mrs. Hill entered announcing dinner, and as was proper, Mr. Darcy extended his arm to Jane to attend her. As they made their way to the dining-room, Elizabeth watched him go, reflecting that she could well endure his distance for a single night.

? The rest of the evening in Mr. Collins's company was pleasant, for while the man was in some respects quite absurd, Elizabeth could see that he was a good sort. If Miss Bingley watched her even more than usual, Elizabeth attributed it to her sudden understanding of the potential drawbacks of attracting Mr. Darcy's attention. By her own admission, Miss Bingley was no timid miss, but the fact of Elizabeth's position as Mr. Darcy's interest coupled with the prospect of an angry Lady Catherine may have been enough to induce her to give up her designs. She had been nothing but pleasant, but Elizabeth had waited for the inevitable opposition. Now that she appeared to be reconsidering, perhaps Elizabeth could put such thoughts from her mind altogether, allowing her to enjoy Miss Caroline's company absent any hesitation.