29. Clarry

CLARRY

"I couldn't save them all, but I got the most important one." I beamed, panting, as I slowed my sprint toward Mavis and Dwight, the cannister of The Goddess of Happiness in my sweaty little hands.

But when I saw neither of them smiling back, I knew something was wrong. "What? What is it?"

Mavis clutched my arm. "Oh Clarence. Where's River?"

"I have no idea."

"You mean you didn't see him in there? He went looking for you."

The cannister clanged as it hit the ground. "What's he doing here? He's not supposed to be here! I have to go find him."

Mavis tightened her grip on me, and Dwight grabbed my other hand. "You can't, son," he said. "There's no time." He held up the timer in his other hand and I saw the seconds ticking down.

4:49

4:48

4:47

"Yes, I can. I can find him. I can get him out. I have to. "

"Clarence, don't," Mavis pleaded. "Help is coming."

I heard the wail of the fire truck siren, but it wasn't close enough.

I yanked my hands away from Mavis and Dwight, shaking my head. "No. River needs me. I have to go back inside."

I charged back into the foyer, rushing into the auditorium as The Bodyguard was coming to a close, Frank calmly but reluctantly walking Rachel to her private jet. "Don't let him go," I breathed to myself, scanning the theater for signs of River. "I can't ever let him go."

That's when I saw the sinkhole that had appeared in the middle of row K.

Half the floor was missing, along with several seats.

I raced toward the gaping hole and stopped at its edge, calling over the sound of the movie, "River! River are you down there?"

For a moment I heard nothing.

Then, out of the darkness.

"C-C-Clarry… D-d-d-don't come d-d-down here."

His voice was trembling and weak.

My heart leapt into my throat.

And there was no stopping me, no matter what he said.

"River, I'm coming! I'm coming to get you!"

Without hesitating, I got onto my belly and lowered myself into the hole.

My waggling feet found a crossbeam.

My shaking hands found a support plank.

My eyes adjusted to the darkness as I made my way under the auditorium, scaling down into the belly of the Ritz until I saw a red glow not far beneath me.

And in that red glow, I made out the curled-up, quivering figure of River.

He was looking up at me, tears in his eyes.

"I… I t-t-told you not to come down here." His words were little more than a shudder .

"And I told you I'm coming, no matter what."

I stepped down the last planks and beams and fell to my knees beside him. As I did so, the timebomb casting the red glow caught my eye.

3:04

3:03

3:02

"It's okay, River. I'm getting you out of here. I'm getting us both out of here now. We can make it if we hurry. You've just gotta trust me. Babe, you've just gotta give me your hand."

"You need to g-g-go! Leave me!"

"Why the fudge would I do that?"

River pointed to his ankle.

I looked down and saw blood. I saw bone protruding from the wound.

Tears instantly welled in my eyes… yet leaving him here was still not an option.

"So what? You got a little scratch. Suck it up, soldier. You're not staying down here."

"And n-n-neither are you. Go!"

I glanced at the timebomb.

2:48

2:47

2:46

"I'm putting you on my shoulders."

"I'm t-t-too heavy."

"No, you're not. I'm putting you on my shoulders and we're climbing out of here. Now!"

Tears began to overflow from River's eyes. "No! You need to go! I love you t-t-too much to let you stay!"

"And I love you too much to leave you!" I wrapped my arms around him. "I'm staying."

He pushed me off him. "No, you're not! Go!"

"Make me! "

"Clarry, don't do this."

I smiled at him. "Just try to change my mind. I'm staying with you."

Suddenly a sharp whistle from above stole our attention.

We looked up, and in the auditorium above, peering into the shaft, was Aunt Bea.

And Harry.

And Lonnie and Ronnie.

And Doc Morgan and old Walt.

All of them were wearing their Fire Department issue helmets, with the exception of Bea of course, who was wearing her Towering Inferno tiara as she called down to us. "Excuse me, gentlemen, I hate to break up this lover's tiff, but we're in the middle of a rescue operation. Now if you wouldn't mind making a little room, you have an incoming drag queen."

Stepping onto the edge of the shaft, with a rope and harness bunching up the crotch of her red sequined dressed, Bea gave a nod to the others then abseiled her way the entire length of the drop, landing gracefully beside us and even blowing us both a kiss.

I stared at her in shock and amazement. "You did that in heels?"

Bea pouted with pride. "My precious snow-cone, never underestimate the determination of a woman. Remember, everything Fred Astaire did, Ginger Rogers did backwards… in heels." She unclipped two spare harnesses attached to her own. "Now strap yourselves on tighter than a dildo, darlings. We're getting you the fuck out of here!"

I helped River up onto his good leg, hopping toward the harness.

I strapped him tight to Bea's right side, then clipped myself onto her left side.

The second we were locked in, Bea gave a thumbs up to the rest of the volunteer Fire Department above us .

"They're not going to be able to pull us up," I said. "We're too heavy."

"First of all, my dear. Never refer to a drag queen as ‘too heavy'. Secondly, we're attached to the winch of the fire truck. Harry tinkered with the speed mechanism, so hold on tight boys, we're about to take flight."

I glanced at the timebomb.

0:52

0:51

0:50

"I hope so, because this whole place is about to bloooooooooooooooooooooow! "

As I spoke, the winch whizzed into action, yanking us up through the air and sending us soaring to the top of the shaft.

Harry and Ronnie grabbed Bea's harness and hauled us all to safety.

Lonnie, Doc and Walt worked busily to unstrap our harnesses.

"Everyone evacuate the building!" shouted Harry. "Now!"

He was about to lift River onto his broad shoulders when I stopped him. "Harry, let me."

"I'm too heavy for you," River protested, hobbling on one foot. "I'll weigh you down."

I proved him wrong by slinging him over my shoulders and standing firm on my chubby legs. "Oh no you're not. You'll never weigh me down."

Harry saw that I had things in hand and gave me the thumbs up. "You got this."

"Oh yeah," I nodded.

With that we all ran for the foyer.

As we left the auditorium, I glanced back one last time to see Rachel stop the plane and run to Frank.

I smiled.

In the foyer, Doc helped Walt out through the doors of the Ritz, the two squabbling old men running to safety and joining Mavis and Dwight.

Ronnie and Lonnie were next out the doors, Lonnie's voice carrying as she said, "Oh what a story to tell at the dinner table this Christmas!"

Bea and Harry were next through the doors, holding them open as I carried River to safety, while behind us Whitney belted out, "And I will always love you—"

A moment later, the first timebomb went off with a low boom , somewhere deep within the building.

In a domino effect, the other blasts sounded.

One high to the left.

One somewhere just behind us.

Then the box office to the right.

With each explosion, I felt River flinch across my shoulders.

But I didn't stop running.

I didn't stop carrying him toward safety.

I didn't stumble or falter or fall until—

The final combination of all twelve bombs sent an eruption into the sky that was nothing short of volcanic.

It was enough to knock us all to the ground.

It was enough to send a plume of smoke billowing into the sky above Mulligan's Mill.

It was indeed a grand finale worthy of our beloved Ritz.

As I collapsed to the ground, I lay River down as gently as I could beside me. "Are you okay?" I panted, terrified for him .

Worried about nothing but him .

Utterly and truly in love with him .

He looked to me, nodded, and without a word he pressed his lips to mine.

And as the smoked billowed into the sky, all River could say was—

"Clarry… you're my hero."