Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Four

I felt him before I saw him. When I opened my eyes the next morning, I was huddled in the corner of my window seat, my legs numb from spending so long in such an awkward position. After we got home from dinner, I was too wound up to lie in bed, alone with my thoughts, and so I'd moved to the window seat and counted the stars instead. Now the stars had vanished and the sky was pale pink with dawn light when I looked out the window to find Wyn standing in our garden at the foot of the magnolia tree. His face turned up towards me like a flower searching for the sun.

‘Hey,' he called quietly when I raised my window and stepped out onto the balcony.

‘Hi,' I called back, the cool morning air soft and soothing. Was he really there? Was I dreaming? ‘What are you doing here?'

‘Something's happened,' he answered shakily. ‘I have to go back home. Now.'

The last traces of my dreamless sleep were washed away by the unwelcome rush of reality.

‘I'm coming down,' I said. ‘Don't move.'

Bell House was silent as I crept downstairs, muffling my footsteps and hushing the front door as it clicked open and closed. Outside, I found Wyn lingering under the pink flowers of a crape myrtle tree. He had his backpack over one shoulder and his hands in his pockets. The look on his face was agony and the short distance between us was too far. I closed it first, stepping into him and wrapping my arms around his waist. He smelled like he'd just got out of bed, a mix of hastily applied deodorant, laundry detergent and warm skin. We stood in the corner of the garden, holding on to each other without a word. He didn't need to say anything, I could feel the conflict in him. Wyn's hands travelled up and down my back as though he was trying to prove to himself I was definitely there.

‘My mom called,' he said, murmuring into my hair. ‘It's Cole.'

‘Is he OK?'

No answer.

‘Do you know when you'll be back?'

‘I do not.'

His arms tensed around me, a soft, unbreakable cage. He was leaving. He was really leaving. There were so many things I wanted to say but all my words swirled around inside me with the right ones always just beyond my reach, so I held on to his flannel shirt instead, like I could physically hold him here, stop him from going anywhere, ever.

‘Please don't leave,' I begged but even as the words left my lips, I knew they were the wrong ones.

‘When my mom tells you to do something, you do it,' Wyn reminded me. ‘I have to go. Unless you want to run away with me instead?'

I forced a smile and nodded. ‘Where are we going?'

‘I'd go anywhere with you.'

But he didn't mean it, not really. His body language was already saying goodbye even if he couldn't bring himself to speak the words out loud, the slope of his shoulders, the tilt of his head, the downturned corners of his green-grey eyes. I pulled back to take a mental picture but the dawn was too serene for the situation. I wanted anger, I wanted red, I wanted this isn't fair, and why is it happening.

‘I'll be back soon, as soon as possible,' he promised as I breathed in and out, trying to calm myself as my fingertips bypassed a tingle and began to buzz. ‘And I'll call every day until then.'

‘And send me photos of cool dogs,' I replied, trying desperately to calm myself before I caused another earthquake. ‘I heard that's what cell phones are for.'

Wyn smiled sadly and heaved his overpacked backpack off his shoulder, dropping it on the ground with a heavy thud before pulling out one of his sketch pads and a pen.

‘You have my number. This is everything else. Use any of them, all of them, whatever works. All day every day, I'll be waiting to hear from you.'

Shaking his head in disbelief, he scribbled down an email address, street address, and a username, then tore out the page, pressing it into my hand before running his forefinger over my cheekbone to wipe away a tear I hadn't felt fall. Then, placing his hands on my shoulders, he straightened out his arms, extending the distance between us.

‘Look at how beautiful you are,' he said, staring at me with wonder, like I was some kind of impossible prize.

But I didn't feel beautiful. I felt like someone who was about to lose the only thing in her life that made sense.

‘You'll come back,' I said, meaning my words to be soft and gentle but instead barking them out like an order. ‘You promise you'll come back?'

‘There's nothing that could keep me from coming back to you, Em.' He paused and took a deep breath in. ‘This is meant to be. I love you.'

‘I love you too,' I replied, melting with the words. ‘I love you, Wyn Evans.'

It was easy to say because it was true. I wanted to say it to his face every day, the two of us laughing and smiling under the stars, not holding on to each other in the thin morning light with tears streaming down both our faces. I drew him down to me, pressing my lips to his and sealing in the words forever. No matter what else happened, nothing could take them away from us.

‘I have to go now,' Wyn whispered, still so close to me I felt the words before I heard them. Even though every part of me told me to stop him, I didn't try. I didn't dare. After what happened at The Olde Pink House, I was almost afraid to breathe in case I accidentally summoned a tornado and tossed his pickup truck into the sky.

‘I'll call you as soon as I know what's happening,' he swore and I followed him to the gate, one magnet drawn to another.

‘Get home safe,' I told him, one of those empty things you say when you don't know what else to say. He climbed into the truck, tossing his backpack in first, and above him clouds began to gather in the sky. When he gunned the engine, they turned black.

‘Drive safe,' I said with a shaky voice. ‘Looks like there's going to be a storm.'

‘Looks like,' Wyn Evans agreed over the twin rumbles of engine and thunder. ‘I love you, Emily James. Nothing is ever going to change that.'

I stood in front of Bell House and watched him go, so strong but completely powerless. The bright red of his truck stood out against the muted colour palette of Lafayette Square and when it finally passed out of view, I sank down to the ground, keeping myself together until I felt him cross the bridge, leaving me and Savannah behind.

Only then did I let it rain.