5. Peyton

5

"Hey, P."

I turn at the sound of Elle's voice. She finds me on the lower portion of our patio, where Noah has built a fire pit, curled under a blanket. There's a fire burning, but I'm still chilly. In my hand, a glass of wine. I poured it, thinking this would be my last for a while and yet I haven't touched it. I can't seem to lift the glass to my lips to taste the sweet, berried drink.

"Hey." I uncurl and move so my sister can sit next to me. "What are you doing here?"

Elle sighs. Something's on her mind. She leans into me, wrapping her arm around mine. "Do you ever wonder how we got so lucky?"

A small chuckle escapes me. "Is that what you call this?"

She nods against my shoulder. "Our lives could've been vastly different . . ."

Elle doesn't need to finish her thought. She's right. Our lives could've been different. Hers at least. I feel in my heart I would've married Noah regardless. Would we be as well off as we are? Possibly not. But he could've still gone to the NFL or even Major League Baseball. He had options.

Who or what we wouldn't have is Harrison, the man who stepped up and brought two five-year-old's into his life and treated us as his own from the beginning. He's never once let anyone believe we weren't his daughters. And he's never been jealous of our father. He took his last name so we'd all match. It doesn't matter how many times I tell him, in all those mushy Father's Day cards that he means the world to me, he truly does.

"Things happen for a reason, Elle."

"They do. The world works in mysterious ways."

"So do you," I say as I nudge her. "What's up?"

Elle sits up and faces me. "Don't be mad. Okay?"

"Okay." I'll be mad no matter what because she told me not to, which means she's about to say something to piss me off.

"I want you to hear me out before you interject."

"Okay."

She sits up a bit straighter. "Tomorrow, we start our shots," she says. "And in two weeks, they're going to take our eggs and make some embryos. Then implantation and if all goes according to plan, we'll be pregnant. Together."

I nod since she asked me not to say anything.

"I've been thinking that maybe I don't do the procedure at the same time you do."

"What? Why not? Isn't that the whole point of doing this together?"

"It is, P. But I'm worried."

She lets her statement hang in the air.

"I don't think I could enjoy my pregnancy as much if I were to be pregnant and you weren't," she says as tears spill over. "You asked me to carry your baby for you and I told you no because Ben and I want to start a family. That weighs heavily on me. Me telling you no was the worst thing I've ever had to do. I want nothing more than to see you become a mom, but it would destroy me if in twenty days you don't find out you're pregnant and I am."

"Please don't cry." I wipe my own tears and then pull my sister into my arms. "I know I'll be sad, but I'll be so happy for you and Ben. You guys deserve to have the baby you want."

"And we will, but we're waiting until after your procedure. Once we know it's been successful and you have a baby growing in your belly, I'll go in. Until then, my focus needs to be on you." Elle lifts her shoulder slightly. "And the wedding I'm supposed to be planning."

My eyes widen. "Shit, we forgot to go to the venue last weekend."

"I blame Liam and his surprise trip. Why was he here, anyway?"

I glance toward the house, looking for Noah, even though I know he can't hear me. "He's struggling so I thought if his dad came, they could do the man-to-man thing. It seemed to work."

"Don't worry, Ben's up there with him. What's up with Noah, anyway? He seemed off at the appointment?"

"Football and this baby stuff. He hasn't told me, but I think he feels like he's letting me down. He's not but you tell a stubborn man he's wrong and see how well that goes."

"Ben bought us a book on pregnancy. He's reading it. I'm not. It has pictures and nope." She shakes her head. "Anyway, he's reading and fist pumps, so I'm like what are you doing? He tells me that women who breastfeed are more susceptible to getting pregnant again after childbirth because of all the hormones and shit—I don't know I wasn't listening—anyway, my husband says we don't have to worry about that since he's shooting blanks."

"He's pretty proud of himself, I see."

Elle rolls her eyes. "He's something else. I love him and the positive attitude he has about everything. His last check-up was great. He's not out of the woods yet, but each visit brings us closer."

"I'm happy everything worked out, Elle. I truly am."

She sits back. "You know the chances of having multiple babies is high with IVF, right?"

I nod. "I'll be happy with one."

"What if you drop twenty eggs?"

My eyes bug out. "I supposed I'd have to change my name to fertile Myrtle."

Elle laughs so hard she snorts.

"What's so funny?"

Ben's voice has Elle turning toward him.

Before she can adjust and welcome her husband, Beau jumps on mine and Elle's laps and proceeds to show us how much he's missed us. "Okay, down," Elle says, and he jumps to the ground and sits. Elle gives him some love and holds her hand out so Ben can give her a treat for him. There are times when I want a dog, but then I remember how much I work and think of how unfair it would be for the doggie to be home all day by himself.

Noah isn't far behind Ben. He smiles and I know it's just for me. As much as I like my alone time, I love being with my husband. I hold out my hand for him, to let him know I want him near me. Elle moves over to the other seat and Noah sits next to me. He kisses me, holding his lips to mine for a second. While I know my sister is out here with us, Noah's the only one in my orbit.

"They're coming," Ben says out of the blue.

Noah turns as my mouth drops open.

"Context, Ben!" Elle hollers at him. "You know I've been down here talking babies and shit with P and you blurt out they're coming. Who's coming? The Redcoats? Your imaginary swimmers? Geez!"

Noah snorts. I cover my mouth with my hand. Elle's clearly tired of his shit. God, I love them together.

"My bad," Ben says all sassy like. "I texted Quinn and Nola. They're on their way over."

"Oh good," Elle says. "We can talk about wedding plans."

I shake my head. "What are they waiting for?"

"Her," Elle says. "Quinny says she won't pick a date or there is always something going on at her parent's house. You know they host weddings there and Nola wants to get married there but her mom never puts her on the list."

"I wonder if she doesn't like Quinn," Ben says. Elle and I throw daggers at him.

"That's our brother you're speaking about," Elle says.

"How can someone not like Quinn?" I ask.

Ben holds his hand up. "We . . ." he points to all of us, "love him. Everything about him. Nola's family isn't like your family. They're not famous musicians who raised their kids on a tour bus. They're a southern family who go to church on Wednesdays and twice on Sundays," he says. "They're a big family, lots of grandbabies, and have that mysterious generational wealth. I'm sure when Quinn showed up, all emo rocker like, they were probably a bit taken back by him."

"Ben has a point," Noah says.

"Hush," I tell him. "Do you really think it's her family dragging their feet?"

"Makes sense," Elle says. "Think about it, they never come out here and Quinn rarely goes there. Huh." Elle trails off.

"If they don't like him then they suck dirty pond water," I say with a huff. "Like, how can you not like Quinn? He's perfect!"

"You're biased," Noah says to her. "I can tell you right now, from experience, my grandparents aren't that fond of my dad. They tolerate him, but given a choice, they'd choose Nick every day of the week for my mom."

My mouth drops open. "What?"

Noah shrugs. "My dad knows this. Despite everything, there's a lot of animosity. Sure, they're cordial but my grandfather isn't rolling out the red carpet for my dad anytime soon."

"Wow, I'm shocked. I never knew."

"Why do you think they're never at any functions? They never come to my games. Christmas. Birthdays. My mom goes over to their house. I love them but they're bitter old people who need to get over what happened when my mom was eighteen. My dad is forever paying for his mistakes. Honestly, it's not fair."

"Noah, that's really sad," I tell him. "They're missing out on so much."

He nods. "Mom invites them to everything. They chose to go on cruises and vacations with their friends. You can't force people to like you," he says.

"Wow, all this talking sucks."

"What sucks?" Quinn comes into view and my smile widens. I stand and go to him. I haven't seen him in weeks. Not my choice. His manager is a royal pain in the ass who makes him and his band practice.

"Hugs," I say when I reach him. He hugs me tightly. "We really need to find you a new manager. One that lets you come up for air every now and again."

"Hey, I resemble that statement," Elle says, much to everyone's chagrin.

I push Quinn out of the way and hug Nola, working hard to put what Ben said out of my mind. I don't believe it for one second. I refuse to.

"If Ben had told us he invited you over, I would've had some food ready or something," I say as I sit back down.

"You didn't have any for us," Elle points out.

"I didn't invite you over," I retort.

"Touché," she says.

"Done."

All eyes are on Ben, again.

"Context Benjamin!" Elle throws her hands in the air.

"Sorry. I ordered food."

"Thank you, Ben," I say to him. Elle leans into him and kisses him. She mouths "I love you" and it brings a smile to my face.

We chat for a bit about nothing of importance. Quinn knows what tomorrow brings for me, and maybe Elle if I can convince her to change her mind. I pray my egg retrieval is a success, that Noah's sperm does its job, and in two weeks the doctor is putting an embryo where it needs to go. Those are my thoughts though and I don't want to share them with anyone but my husband.

Noah's phone chimes, letting us know there's someone at our front door. He, Ben, and Quinn run off to get the food and bring back drinks for everyone. What a perfect way to spend the evening before my stress levels increase. Before the paranoia sets in.

"How are things?" Elle asks Nola.

What Ben said weighs heavily on my mind. I'm tempted to ask Nola, but it's not my place.

"They're good. Did you make it up to the winery yet?"

Elle shakes her head. "Liam was here last week. We'll go this week. Want to come?" Elle asks. "Maybe that spot will work for you and Quinn."

Subtle, sister. Very subtle.

"Yeah, sure. Although I'm pretty set on getting married at my parents."

"Do two weddings," I suggest. "Elle is. It's totally the thing right now too. A lot of people are doing a destination wedding and then one in their hometown."

"That's not a bad idea," Nola says. "I'll talk to Quinn."

"Talk to Quinn about what?" he says as he comes back with his arms full. He sits next to Nola, and I notice that when Noah returns, he kisses me, and Ben kisses Elle. Although she demanded it.

Now I can't stop thinking about Nola's family and how they may or may not like my brother. This is going to bug the shit out of me.

"Your sisters suggested we have two weddings. One here or some destination and then at my house."

"Fab idea. What do you think?" he asks her.

She shrugs and picks at a French fry.

"Hell, we can go to the courthouse," he tells her. She says nothing, and Quinn doesn't notice.

I stuff my face to keep my mouth occupied. I hate thinking Quinn isn't welcome because of his music. Which would mean our dad wouldn't be welcome. Quinn would never go for that. Ever. Or Liam. As odd as it is, Liam's known Quinn longer than he's known his own son. There's no way Quinn would get married without his family there.

"Ugh." I push my food away, unable to eat another bite. I eye my sister, but she's making googly faces at Ben and not paying attention to me.

"You good?" Noah asks.

I shrug.

He slips his hand under my blanket and caresses my thigh, and just like that I'm calm. Noah leans back and whispers, "Stop worrying about Quinn. He's a big boy. If what Ben says is right, Quinn will deal with it. He doesn't need his firecracker little sister fighting his battles."

"I know, it just makes me sad."

Noah kisses his favorite spot . . . well, one of them. "You can't be sad," he tells me. "In the morning we're going to start our journey toward parenthood. Happy thoughts."

I lean into him. "How do you do it?"

He shrugs, knowing exactly what I'm asking him. "I've had you wrapped around my finger from day one, Peyton."