20. Noah

20

We have to rethink apartment life in the city. In the week we were in Portland for OTAs, poor Stevie Nicks had too many accidents to count, which totally circumvented our potty-training efforts. I don't even want to think about what things will be like when Peyton's here alone, with a child, and trying to get our fur baby outside to go to the bathroom. I also don't know if I can stomach buying a house here.

As much as I love the city, Portland isn't my end game. My gut tells me I'm going to be somewhere else next year. Either with a new team or sitting on the couch, growing a beer belly, and having a pity party for myself because my career is over.

After a week in Portland, we're back in Cali for the long weekend. We're going to spend all of Saturday at Peyton's parents, with everyone in tow. It's weird because our house is big enough to host everyone, but we don't have direct access to the beach. Whereas Harrison and Katelyn's access is there the second you step out the door. Honestly, I'm jealous. Although, while their beach is supposed to be private, there are always lurkers. People who didn't see the sign or ignored it.

I come around the corner and rest against the wall when I see Peyton and Stevie Nicks having a moment. She's holding our pup in her arms, and I swear the way our pup's paws are, she's giving her mama a hug. They're swaying to the song playing from our sound system.

"You're going to be the best big sister, aren't you?"

Stevie Nicks kisses Peyton. She laughs and hugs her tighter. "You'll always be our first baby, though."

Yeah, she will.

Peyton turns and pauses when she sees me. I don't give her a chance to set our pup down. I go to my girls and pull them both into my arms. Stevie Nicks squirms. I give her the command to be still, something we've been working on to keep her calm. Mostly, it seems to work. Training her has been fairly easy. That was, until we got to our apartment, and she had more than one accident because she wasn't used to the environment she was in. I read in the training book we could put a pad out on our balcony, but I feel like this would confuse her when she's here.

Leaning forward, I press my lips to Peyton's and then nuzzle Stevie Nicks's coat. She's soft, thanks to the bath Peyton gave her earlier, and smells like the beach. "They make beach scents for dogs?"

Peyton laughs. "They make every scent possible."

"I like it."

Stevie Nicks squirms. Peyton sets her down and then wraps her arms around my waist. She looks at me, leaving me with no choice but to run my finger down the side of her face and lean in for another kiss. Touching her, kissing her, hell just being near her, is something I'll never get enough of.

"What's on your mind?"

I frown and shake my head slightly. "Work."

"Blah."

"I know, but I'm wondering if maybe you should stay here when I go back for OTA's."

She eyes me skeptically. I don't enjoy leaving her alone, mostly because I hate being away from her, but because she doesn't like to drive.

"Or head to Beaumont for a bit?"

"You know you don't have to be at OTA's, right?"

I nod.

She sighs and tightens her grip on my waist. "But you feel if you're not there . . ." Peyton doesn't finish her sentence and steps away. "I wish you didn't feel this way, Noah." She looks out the sliding doors at the view we have of the Pacific Ocean. Faintly, we can see people surfing. They look like giant ants from this far away. It's a clear day, with a gorgeous blue sky. The temperature is getting warmer and warmer every day and soon people will clog the beaches with their umbrellas, cabanas, and those sunshades that are impossible to put back together.

I step behind my wife and wrap her in my arms. "This past week sucked. Sitting in those sessions with the rookies, learning the ropes. But I was present, and I think Logan saw that. I answered a lot of questions."

"I get that, but they shouldn't make you feel like you have to be there. This is your down time. You should be recovering and taking care of your body. I know it's just meetings right now and when you move outside, you won't take contact, but still . . ."

"What are you afraid of?"

"The team breaking your heart," she says as she continues to look out the window. It wasn't the answer I expected from her. I thought she'd say something about me missing an appointment, which would never happen.

I pull her tightly to my chest and rest my chin on the top of her head. We stare out the window, with Stevie Nicks sitting at our feet. Poor girl can't see past the balcony wall, but that doesn't seem to faze her.

Do I tell my wife my heart's already breaking? That I feel like I've invested my life with this team, building connections, and working toward another championship, only for them to turn away from me? And for what? It's not like I've sat on the sidelines with injuries.

"Regardless, I think the apartment isn't the smartest for Stevie Nicks. You saw her when she had the accident. She cowered and hid in the corner. I don't want her to feel like that."

"I wanted to cry," Peyton says as she looks down at her, and then cocks her head to see me. "We'll figure it out."

I kiss the tip of her nose. "I suspect you want to stay here, but I worry about you feeling stranded."

"It's not like I can't drive."

Laughter rolls through me. Peyton jabs her elbow into my ribs, forcing me to step away from her. "You crack me up."

She rolls her eyes and reaches for the dog leash. "My faithful companion and I are going for a walk."

"She does pretty well off leash."

"I know, but there are people out there, plus it's windy, which means the waves are rougher. I don't want anything to happen."

Peyton slips Stevie Nicks into her harness and then clips the leash on. I follow them out of the house and pause when we reach the steps leading to the beach.

"I assume you want me to come with you."

It's like time stands still. Peyton turns her head and her hair fans out. She greets me with a smile and my breathing hitches. She's all mine, and we're living this amazing life together. Peyton doesn't care what I do for work, as long as I'm happy.

"What?"

"Nothing," I say, shaking my head slightly. "Nothing at all." I place my hand on the small of her back and nudge her toward the stairs.

As soon as we reach the sand, Stevie Nicks spins in a circle and barks at us. "She wants to run."

"What if someone tries to take her?"

"No one will take her, babe. She won't go far. We've worked a lot on it." I crouch down and tell Stevie Nicks to sit. She does and eyes me expectantly with her big brown eyes. "You're free," I tell her as I unclip her. Still, she sits and waits for my hand command. Once I give it, she runs, turns, and runs back, with her tongue hanging from her mouth.

Peyton and I walk, and thankfully our pup stays in front of us. The few times she circles us, we watch her like a hawk. We head as far as the coastline allows until we run into a rocky outcrop and then turn around. Stevie Nicks remains by our side the whole time, being the goodest little girl.

After two hours of walking idly along the surf, we head toward our house. When we reach our patio, I veer off and start the outdoor fire.

"What do you want for dinner?" Peyton asks.

"Let's do pasta. It'll be quick and then we can sit out here and watch the sunset."

She nods and leaves the dog with me. I sit down, and before I can tell Stevie Nicks no, she hops onto my lap with her wet paws and sandy bottom.

"I probably should've taken you to the shower before I sat down." I run my fingers through her wiry hair, loving the feel. If Peyton stays behind while I return to Portland, she'll be able to take the pup to the groomers for a haircut.

When Peyton returns, Quinn and Nola are with her. Stevie Nicks jumps down to visit her friends, giving me a chance to brush the dirt off my lap.

"Hey, man!" Quinn and I bro hug. And then I give Nola a hug. "You guys staying for dinner?"

"Yeah, they are," Peyton says. "I ordered out. Makes things easier."

"We can go," Nola says as she sits down. "I told Quinn we're intruding."

"Are we?" Quinn asks us.

"Never. Our door is always open. Can I get you something to drink?"

Quinn asks for a beer. Nola wants water. I run into the bar area of our patio and grab what's needed and return. Nola eyes the beer in Quinn's hand.

"It's only one," he mutters, but doesn't twist the top off.

"So, what's up?" I ask as I sit down. With a beer in one hand, I reach for Peyton's hand with my free one. After Stevie Nicks has given her visitors the all clear, she comes over and hops onto Peyton's lap. Instantly, I wish I had stopped her.

"Ewe, gross."

"Wet dog, dirty dog, it all equals fun," I say, laughing.

"We should get a dog," Quinn says to Nola.

"I really don't want to take care of a dog," Nola says sharply.

I glance toward Peyton who meets my gaze. I think we're both trying to hide how awkward we feel right now. I don't know what's going on there, but something is definitely bothering Nola.

When I chance a look at Quinn, his eyes are down. If I had to guess, something's up between them. I suppose I could ask Quinn to come with me into the house, but I don't want to be too obvious and upset Nola.

"Nola, on Sunday, we're going to check out some more wineries if you're not busy and want to come with us?" Peyton asks.

"Thanks, but I have a final next week."

"Are you almost done with your masters?" Peyton asks.

Nola shakes her head. "No. I took time off to go on tour with Quinn, so I'm behind." She rubs her hands down the front of her shorts.

"Oh, no. Does that mean you'll have to take more time off for this next tour?"

Nola's head turns sharply toward Quinn, who's focusing on the fire. Oh, shit.

"What tour?"

Quinn twists the top off his beer and takes a chug.

"Quinn?"

"Sinful Distraction and Plum."

"Are you serious?" she asks in a hush tone. "Again?"

"It's part of the business. You know this."

"Well, I'm not going." Nola angles her body away from Quinn.

This is awkward and clearly something they should talk about at home, where no one is privy to their disagreement.

"Do you have to go potty?" I ask Stevie Nicks, looking for a change of subject to ease the tension in the air. Her ears perk and then I believe she looks at me like I'm some kind of dumbass because we're outside and she doesn't need me asking. Still, I stand, as does Peyton.

"I left my phone upstairs," she says as she follows me down our cobblestone path.

When we're out of earshot, my eyes widen at her. "What in the hell?"

"I don't know," she says quietly. "Why didn't he tell her?"

I shake my head. "I don't know. It's not like Quinn not to tell her something like this." I think back to the conversation we had outside, and how Quinn and Nola seemed to be at odds with each other. Hopefully it's just a tiff and not anything more serious. "Did you really forget your phone?"

She nods. "Yes, it's in the kitchen."

"I think mine is as well. It's not in my pocket."

Peyton rises and kisses me. "I'll bring yours down when the food gets here."

"You're going to leave me with that?" I point toward the fire pit outside.

She nods and bolts up the stairs. Stevie Nicks leaves me as well, following Peyton. "You both suck," I mutter as I head toward Quinn and Nola.

"Peyton went to get her phone and check on the food."

"I'm actually going to go," Nola says as she stands. "I called an Uber."

"Oh, okay. Peyton should be in the kitchen."

"Thanks."

Quinn puts down his beer and then looks at the empty bottle.

"Need another?"

"Yep."

I head toward the bar and bring back a few in an ice bucket. "Wanna talk about it?"

Quinn groans. "I wish I could say something stupid like, ‘What are you talking about' or ‘Everything's fine' but I can't. Can I?"

My head shakes slowly.

"Fuck my life." He opens another bottle and drinks half of it down.

"Is it that bad?"

"I don't know what it is," he says. "I suggested we set a date for the wedding or start looking at venues, but she wants to finish this program. Which I get. I stupidly asked her what she's going to do when she's done, and she said work. Again, I get it. She wants her own money and wants to feel independent, and I'll support whatever she wants to do. But each time I try to talk to her about a wedding and tour, all I get from her is, ‘I have school' and ‘There are things I want out of life' but she won't tell me what those things are or give me a chance to give them to her."

"Oh."

"Pretty much all I can say, too."

"So, you didn't tell her about the upcoming tour?"

Quinn shakes his head and takes another drink, emptying the bottle. "I did not, which I know is a mistake, but I didn't want to deal with it."

"I thought she enjoyed being on the tours?"

Quinn shrugs. "I thought she liked a lot of things."

I turn at the sound of Peyton coming toward us with bags of food. I get up and take them from her."

"Why'd Nola leave?" Peyton asks.

"What'd she tell you?" Quinn asks.

"She has to study."

"Then that's it," he says to his sister without looking at her. Peyton eyes me and I shake my head. This will have to be a conversation for later. One I am not looking forward to. The twins were cautious of Nola when Quinn first introduced her to them. The last thing he needs is for his sisters to put a wall up when it comes to his girlfriend. If I'm not careful with what I tell Peyton, that's exactly what will happen.