15. Peyton

15

Ben paces up and down the hall near the bathroom waiting for Elle to come out. My sister opted to spend the night at our place last night, wanting to take her pregnancy test here, rather than at her house. I didn't question her mostly for selfish reasons. Hell, yes, I want to be one of the first ones to know if she's pregnant, but I also have a sense from her that she feels like she's not and then I'll be here to console her.

"What's taking so long, Elle?" Ben asks at the door.

"I gave her twenty tests to pee on," I remind him. He lets out a long sigh.

"She just needs one."

"Yes, but then she'll end up taking another nineteen like I did. Give her a minute," I say this as if I'm some type of professional when it comes to taking a pregnancy test. I know I've taken my fair share of them, but what woman trying to have a baby hasn't?

The door opens and Ben almost falls in. "Everything okay?"

"Yes," Elle says as she comes out of the bathroom showing him her phone. "Now we wait four minutes." She steps out of the doorway and heads into the living room where I'm waiting. Noah's taken the dogs down to the water to help them exert some energy. Beau may be older than Stevie Nicks, but he has as much energy as a toddler with a sugar high.

"Do we have to wait?"

"If you want them to be accurate," I tell him. "Come sit."

"I'll pace," he says.

"He's going to wear a hole into your floor," Elle says as she sits down. She reaches for a magazine and starts flipping the pages, closes it, and then opens it again. I sit next to her and place my hand on hers.

"Three minutes."

"That's a long time in the grand scheme of things."

"Yes, but now it's even less. I know it's easy for me to say."

Elle nods. "At least you already know."

"And you will soon." I've been able to do all my bloodwork and confirm my pregnancy. The clinic did my first scan to make sure everything was in place, and then referred me to an obstetrician for my first appointment. While I've never been pregnant before, no one is taking any chances and considering my high risk due to the injuries I've had. It's hard not to wonder what the hell is going on in that region of my body, but I'm hopeful I can carry to term or at least long enough to give this baby a fighting chance.

"I don't know why I'm so nervous."

"It's to be expected," I tell her. "This is something you want."

Elle laughs. "Who would've thought?" She looks toward the other room where Ben is. "He changed my mind about everything."

"Sometimes that happens."

"Not with you. Your life is as you planned it."

I give her a halfhearted shrug. "I don't know about that. While I'm eternally grateful to be pregnant, this isn't how I pictured things."

"I meant with Noah," Elle says.

"You know I'm probably only with him because of the accident. If that hadn't happened, he probably would've never admitted his feelings for me."

"Can you imagine being married to someone else?"

I shake my head.

"I can't imagine him being married to someone else either. I think that would be weird at family functions."

I brush Elle's hair off her shoulder. "Something tells me our family functions wouldn't be the way they are now. But who knows."

Elle jumps when the timer on her phone goes off. She stares at it for a moment, leaving the piercing sound to echo through the house. Ben rushes into the room and looks at her while I press the button to silence the alarm.

Ben extends his hand, holding it there for Elle to take. He helps her stand.

"I'm going to go down to the beach with Noah."

"No, I want you to stay," Elle says, unshed tears in her eyes.

I bring her into my arms. "You have Ben," I whisper into her ear. "Share the news, good or bad, with him first." I'm up and out of the room without looking back. I'm torn though. As much as I want to be there for my sister, this is something she needs to do with her husband.

Beau spots me before Noah or our pup, and I have a feeling the only reason Stevie Nicks is running toward me is because she's chasing Beau. I crouch down and greet Beau, taking all of his love until my girl reaches me. I'm on my ass before I know what's going on, being attacked by dog kisses.

Noah hovers over me, blocking the sun. "Are you having fun?"

"The best time," I tell him as he helps me up. I brush the sand away and watch as he throws a ball, mostly for Beau. "Does Stevie Nicks chase the ball?"

"She does, but Beau's a bit faster so she runs behind him. It'll change though in a few months. She'll be so much bigger than him. Where's Elle and Ben?"

"Reading their tests."

"I can't believe you suggested she take so many."

I shrug. "She would've just done the same thing I did, so might as well get it over with."

"Yes, but at least start with one."

"Yeah, it is overboard, but it's Elle. She's the go big or go home type."

"True." Beau drops the ball at our feet and Noah picks it up with the fetch toy and tosses it again for the dogs. "Ben says she's not very confident the IVF has worked."

His words give me pause and I sigh. "I got that feeling from her as well. I'm certain it's why she spent last night here."

"She shouldn't have any problems, right?"

I shake my head. "I don't think so. Her egg count was higher than mine, as were their embryos. I suppose she could be in the same boat as me, who knows. I don't think she and Ben tried to have a baby before he got cancer."

"They weren't even together."

"Don't remind me."

"The only saving grace was we were in Portland during all of that and didn't have to play mediator."

I nod. "Believe me, I'm grateful. I wouldn't want to choose between them. It's funny, while we were waiting for the timer to go off, Elle said something about how my life is how I pictured it." Noah stops walking and looks at me. "There was a time when I didn't think I'd have this." I point between us.

"I know," he says. "But I also know I wouldn't have been able to hide my feelings for much longer. The only way I would've been able to do so was to stay away from you and as it was, that was hard."

"You almost married her."

Noah looks at the sand and sighs. "Which would've been a massive mistake on my part."

"I never liked her," I tell him. "I never liked any of the women you brought home. But Dessie was just plain evil. She saw me as a threat and when I had the accident she saw her future slipping away."

"Are you defending her?"

I shake my head. "No, what she did is inexcusable. But desperation makes people do the inexcusable."

"Change the subject," he says as he steps closer to me. Noah rests his hand on my stomach. "How's my bean today?"

"Fine, I think."

"When is morning sickness supposed to start?"

I lift my shoulder. "I think it should have by now? I'm four weeks in. Maybe it doesn't start until six weeks? That's normally the time women find out after missing their period."

"Maybe you'll be one of the lucky ones and won't have it."

"From your mouth to God's ears, Noah Westbury. I hate puking and while I know the end game, the idea of sticking my head in the toilet every day for who knows how long does not appeal to me."

Noah crouches in front of me. "Hey, little bean. If you could do me a solid and not make your mommy sick, I'd appreciate it." He stands and gives me a look. "What?"

"That's the first time you've spoken to the baby."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it really is. You've said some things, but that is the first time you've spoken directly to him or her."

"Well, I'm going to have to rectify that. Do you think I should read Madden's autobiography or something else?"

I can't hold back my laughter or my eye roll. "While John Madden is a legend, maybe we should start with something more educational."

Noah covers his heart with his hand. "You wound me."

"You'll get over it."

We walk for a little bit more before turning around. I'm thankful Beau stays with us, which keeps Stevie Nicks with us as well. She's very attached to him and his ears. Poor guy.

When we get to our steps, Noah and I pause. "Do you think we should go in?"

I stare up at the house and nod. "It's either good news or back to the clinic for another round."

"Elle's a trooper," Noah says. "Nothing seems to faze her."

"That's not true," I tell him. "You see what she wants you to see. I see the real her. The parts of her she hides from everyone else. She even hid from Ben for a long time because she didn't want him to judge her. It took her a long time to really, truly open up to him. Honestly, it's no different with me and you. You see a completely different me, especially at home. You know my ins and outs, what works for me and what doesn't, and you know what I need. Elle wants a baby with Ben, especially after everything he's been through."

Noah pulls me to him and cups my cheek. "Your love for your sister is unwavering. All I meant was, the shots didn't faze her. On the off chance she has to go through the treatment again, she can do it. She's strong and determined. I didn't mean to insult her."

My hand grips his wrist and I turn my head slightly to kiss his palm. "I'm sorry. I forget that you've been there our entire lives. You know her too."

"Probably more than I should being her brother-in-law."

"True." We climb the steps and head to the outside shower. I brush Stevie Nicks while Noah works on Beau. We'll never get all the sand off them, and I resign myself to having sandy floors. "I'll sweep the floors later," I tell Noah when I give up.

He laughs, brushes off his feet then mine, and then we head into a very quiet house, which I take as a good sign.

"Hello," I call out.

"In the living room," Ben says.

Noah and I approach with caution and find Elle and Ben sitting on the couch. Neither of them looks at us or even each other. There's a single pregnancy test sitting on our coffee table, on top of a paper towel. My husband directs me toward the love seat before I can reach for the stick to see if I'm going to be an aunt or not.

"You're scaring me," I tell my sister. "Spit it out."

"Maybe I'm contemplating some grand reveal like you and Noah did."

"Noah planned it, not me."

Elle eyes Noah, who's grinning like a fool.

"Elle," I say her name softly. "At Thanksgiving I asked if you'd carry mine and Noah's child and you said you couldn't because you and Ben wanted to start a family. I said I wanted us to be pregnant at the same time if we could figure things out. Do you remember?"

She nods.

I swallow hard, looking for any sign, but she's stoic. Not flinching or even hinting at anything. Noah reaches for my hand. "You're killing me, Elle. Are we going to have our babies at the same time?" My voice cracks at the end. I cover my mouth instantly, already knowing what she's going to say.

"How does Auntie P sound to you?"

I'm not sure who I scare more with my scream, the dogs or Noah. Elle and I jump up at the same time, ignoring the men in the room. We hug each other tightly, crying into each other's shoulders.

"We're going to be moms," Elle says, and I nod. "I'm so fucking screwed."