Chapter Nineteen

Jack lounged in one of the club chairs that sat in his private cabin aboard the passenger ship Gaelic Breeze, staring out the porthole that would be his only window for the next two weeks. A headache that hadn't left him since that morning had finally begun to subside, but it wasn't only his head that hurt.

Jack hadn't ever felt like this before. It was infuriating to feel so helpless. Perhaps it was cowardly to go to America now, but then he couldn't stand to be in Meredith's presence, not when he wanted her more than she could ever possibly understand. He knew she couldn't give him everything he wanted and so it was best to leave.

Meredith was a gentle born lady, finally able to move about her world without the painful memories of her past hanging over her like a guillotine. As the bell tolled to signal the ship's departure, he wondered what she would do now that she was free.

He supposed she would continue her friendship with Sir Kent. He would probably court her for some months before asking for her hand in marriage, a proposal she would readily accept. They would probably be married by the time he returned, an idea that caused him an undiluted amount of anguish.

Still, he wondered if she would think of him. He knew the next several months would be spent fighting off dreams of her. Perhaps he would find a mistress in New York. One to keep his mind occupied even if he was sure she would not compare. For who could ever compare to Meredith?

He was debating on having a drink to drown his sorrows in when a knock at the cabin door sounded. He turned to stare at it.

"Go away," he called out, not moving. When the knock sounded again, he spoke louder. "Go. Away."

Still the knocking persisted.

Feeling particularly murderous, Jack stood and stalked across the small cabin. He tore open the door, ready to end whoever thought it was a good idea to interrupt him.

"What—"

His words were cut short at the sight of a small, cloak covered woman whose hood was pulled up over her head. He could only see her mouth, but then he had studied that mouth for weeks. For a moment, neither person moved until her hands came up to the edge of her hood, pushing it back.

Meredith's face was taut with emotion. He could barely move, barely think as he stared at her.

"Meredith," he said as the bell tolled again. He gazed up to the ceiling. "They're pulling out."

"I know."

"What are you doing here?"

"Can I come in?"

"You can't be here. You have to get off the ship."

"Please?"

Confused and sure that he would need to get her on a dingy to bring her back to shore, he wrestled with what needed to be done and what he wanted to do. Sighing angrily as he relented, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her back into the cabin. The door closed gently behind them as he pushed away from her, pacing across the cabin to keep from touching her.

"What are you doing here?"

For a moment she didn't answer. Her throat worked, up and down as if she were trying to find the words.

"It's a lovely room," she said eventually. "I've never been on a ship before."

She didn't seem too eager to tell him why she was there, but Jack wasn't having it. He came before her, crowding her so that she couldn't escape his questions.

"Answer me," he demanded. "What are you doing here?"

Her mouth opened slightly as she stared up at him and he felt his heart fracture. She was so damn beautiful and he knew she was about to say something devastating.

"Simon told us that you had plans to go to New York," she said gently. "I didn't want you to leave without telling you…"

"Telling me what?"

She turned away from him almost as if she were ashamed. After a deep breath, she looked back at him and he was surprised that he saw anger in her eyes.

"Why did you leave me that money?" she asked. "It was an obscene amount."

"I wanted you to have it."

"But why? I already owe you so much."

He was shaking his head before she finished her sentence.

"You don't owe me anything," he said, but she was shaking her head.

"I do. I owe you everything," she started. She turned away as she continued. "The money you gave me. I needed it because I was being blackmailed. By Clyde Peterson." He took a step towards her, but she held her hands up. "Please. Let me finish or I'll never be able to get it out."

Jack stilled.

"Go on."

"Clyde had read that I was attached to Sir Kent and thought to make some capital. He had our divorce papers drawn up, but then…" She paused. "Why did you have them?"

Jack wasn't sure what to say.

"What was so ridiculous about that money?" he asked, ignoring her question. "It was a finder's fee I usually make on investments. I thought you could use it, along with your investment, to buy that cottage you wanted."

"But I don't want a cottage."

"You don't?"

"No. I thought I did, or maybe I do, but it's not what I want now." Jack didn't speak, unable to believe what she was saying. She took a step towards him. "Tell me how you got my divorce papers."

This was it, Jack thought. He'd tell her what he did and she would be furious for handling it the way he did. He took a deep breath. So be it.

"I went to have a visit with your ex-husband," he said, being sure to use the correct term. "He had indulged me in a plan that should he ever need more money, that his ball and chain would pay up because the divorce he had told her about wasn't factual."

Meredith inhaled sharply.

"It wasn't?"

"No. Upon learning of his plan, I escorted him out of the Swan on Stokes, where he decided after a very short persuasive discussion to leave England, once and for all."

"Leave?" she repeated. "Where did he go?"

"Australia. Left on a ship last night."

"Australia?"

"Yes, and before he left, he stopped by my lawyer's office. I had my man draw up the papers and he signed them, in front of witnesses. I thought you'd appreciate a note from the church as well, dissolving the union."

"But how did you manage that? A document from the church would take weeks—"

"Everyone has a price." He paused. "I just wanted you to be free of him, Meredith."

A glistening shine appeared in her eyes as her hand came up to her mouth.

"You did that all, for me?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because we're friends," he said, the word not nearly expressing enough of what he felt. But then, he didn't want her to be obligated to him in anyway. Taking a deep breath, he went to the door. "Now let's go, before it's too late."

"Go where?"

"To alert the captain." He moved around her and opened the door. "You have to get off this ship before we're too far out."

Meredith came up and closed the door with her hand.

"Are we friends, Jack? Or do you, perhaps… I mean, do you think you might…"

She hesitated.

"Might what, Meredith?"

She closed her eyes tightly, seemingly afraid of what she was asking.

"Do you think you might consider a different sort of relationship between us?"

Jack's heart seemed to be pounding loud enough for both of them to hear.

"What sort of relationship?" he asked gruffly.

"One that I can barely speak," she whispered.

Jack's resolve broke and he reached for her. When she willingly went to him, he felt his heart bursting. It made the next words out of his mouth all the harder to say.

"I've been thinking about it, Meredith and I don't think I would be good for you. I am your opposite in every way. We aren't made for the same things. We wouldn't suit." He let out a ragged breath, doing his best to focus. "I was angry when you asked me to wait, but having thought it over, I realized that I'm not made for your world. I'm not for you, Meredith."

Her brow furred.

"You are for me," she insisted. "I don't care where we go or about any of that. I only want to be with you, Jack."

His heart leapt at her words, but he couldn't let himself believe it.

"No—"

"Yes," she countered. "I love you, Jack. I do. I've never known a man to be so caring and kind to me. So sure, and so perfectly made for me." She stood on her tippy toes, her hands going to either side of his face. "Jack Archer, I love you. I love that you smell like carbolic soap and the way you look at me. I love that you want everyone to be afraid of you, even though you have the biggest heart of anyone I've ever met. And I never want to be without you by my side."

Jack couldn't help himself as he took her into his arms, shaking her slightly.

"Stop saying that, Meredith," he seethed, the turmoil within him coming to a head. "You don't mean it."

"I do," she cried, shaking her head. "I mean every word. I love you."

"Stop."

"I love you, Jack Archer!"

He kissed her, unable to stifle her words anymore as his resolve to keep her at bay broke. Her words had turned his world upside down as a flood of justifications came into his mind. He would do anything to have her, go anywhere to get her and say anything to keep her, if only she'd let him.

"I love you," he finally spoke into her hair as he kissed her mouth, cheeks, and forehead. "You foolish woman, I love you."

"You do?" she asked, dazed.

"Of course, I do," he said, holding her face in his hands. "I've tried not to, lord knows I've tried, but I can't stop myself. I only wanted you to be happy, though."

"I am happy. When I'm with you."

"But you should be with Sir Kent."

She smiled at him.

"Would you really let me marry someone else?"

"I'm trying to," he said honestly. "It's why I'm going to New York. I couldn't trust myself not to ruin your chances," he said. "Damn it. New York. Meredith, you have to get off this ship."

"Take me with you."

"It's unseemly to travel together like this," he said and her face became crestfallen. "Unless…"

"Unless what?"

"Unless you'd be willing to marry me?"

Meredith sucked in a breath and he was worried for a moment that she would say no, when she jumped into his arms.

"Yes, Jack. Yes, I will marry you."

Jack had never felt quite like he did in that moment. It was as if he had won all the boxing matches at once, had secured all the deals and yet, it felt better than all of that put together. Meredith was his, or at least she would be as soon as possible.

On the deck of the ship not twenty minutes later and having explained their situation, Meredith Taylor married Jack Archer as they sailed into the sunset together.