Chapter 4

"There is nothing quite like a meal at home," Anthony chuckled as he finished his last bite. "I have very much missed the delicious food here. I know I said that yesterday, and the day before, but truly the food here is wonderful."

Hannah and Caroline laughed, but Anthony could not help but notice that there was something akin to concern on his mother's face.

"Are you alright?" he asked her cautiously. "You look… perturbed."

She reached for her glass of wine, her eyes settling on Anthony with a look of tender concern. "Yes, I am quite fine, but there is something I would like to discuss with you."

Anthony narrowed his eyes curiously. "Of course. We can discuss anything."

"Anthony, my dear," she began, her voice wavering with what appeared to be nerves, "have you given any thought to your future?"

"Oh." Anthony frowned. "Well, I have to admit, Mother, that you have caught me off guard. I have only just returned. I have not been thinking about much past this moment."

Leonora's smile was gentle but persistent. "It is only natural for a mother to be concerned about her son's happiness, Anthony. You always take on your responsibilities with such dedication and honor, but I can not help but wonder if you have considered settling down."

"Well, I am back in London now…"

"You know what I mean." Lenora cocked a knowing eyebrow. "I am wondering if the time has come for you to think about finding a wife." She paused and caught her breath for a moment. "Because it is the Season, you know. It is hard to think of anything else when everyone else is talking about love and marriage."

Anthony took a deep breath, setting his fork down and leaning back in his chair. He felt the weight of her question pressing on him. This was not what he expected to face in his first few days of being at home.

"I have only just returned from my Grand Tour, Mother," he reminded her. "And I have returned to the pressure of managing the estate and our business interests. These duties of the title leave little time for matters of the heart."

Leonora's expression softened, her eyes filled with understanding. "I know, my dear. But there is more to life than duty. Marriage is not just an obligation; it can be a source of great joy and comfort. I want you to find someone who makes you happy."

Anthony looked in to his mother's concerned eyes and felt a pang of guilt. She deserved to see him happy, settled, and with a family of his own. Yet, every time he considered the possibility of marriage, his thoughts inevitably turned back to Chloe. He had been thinking of her a lot since he had been home. He could hardly shake her off his mind. Her laughter, her kindness, the way she could understand him without words… all of it haunted him. But what could he do?

There was no way that she would ever want to speak with him now. Not after the way that he had left her behind forgoing all their promises to one another. She likely did not know why, and would not understand it. Plus, he had to recall the reasons why he abandoned her in the first place… but being back in London meant that he needed to confront the past, whether he was ready for it or not.

Leonora reached across the table and patted Anthony's hand reassuringly, her eyes filled with understanding and wisdom.

"Anthony, I know your duties are important, but please, keep an open mind and heart during this Season. There are many opportunities to meet eligible young ladies who could make a wonderful wife and partner."

Anthony nodded, trying to smile as he squeezed his mother's hand gently. "I promise I will consider it, Mother."

Leonora's smile broadened, the worry lines around her eyes softening. "That is all I ask, my dear. Just promise me you will give yourself the chance to find happiness."

As Hannah and Caroline monopolized the conversation for a little while, Anthony's thoughts drifted unbidden to Chloe. Of course, because she was always there. Her face, as clear as day in his memory, brought with it a flood of unresolved feelings. He could see her laughing beside him during their childhood games, feel the warmth of her hand in his as they ran through the fields, and hear the softness of her voice during their long talks under the stars. It did not matter how far he had traveled or where he had gone, no one had ever compared to Chloe. No one even came close.

He had fallen in love with her when they were young and assumed that would take them into adulthood. He did not think that he would need to worry about the Seasons as he aged, because he had already found the love of his life. But then he had ruined it, and he was not sure if he would ever be able to come back from that.

"There is so much to look forward to," his mother finally continued, drawing Anthony back into the conversation, as if she did not sense his inner turmoil at all. "I am sure you will enjoy the events that are to come. It has been a long time since you have attended a ball in London. They are quite fabulous. As people compete to throw the best ball, they are getting grander by the minute. I am sure that you will be surprised."

Anthony gritted his teeth together, trying not to show his concerns about the upcoming events. That was not what he had been looking forward to when he returned home. The idea of mingling with society, pretending to be interested in courtship while his heart ached for Chloe felt like a daunting task.

"Of course, Mother," he said, forcing a smile. "I will do my best to enjoy the Season and see where it leads."

Leonora beamed, her excitement infectious. "That is the spirit, Anthony! Who knows, perhaps you will meet someone who captures your heart. Someone who will make your return home not just out of duty."

There was only one woman who could do that for him, but Anthony knew that Chloe would not want to see him. She may have even moved on, and married another… that idea made his blood run ice cold. It unnerved him so much that he did not even want to ask his mother about this. He was not sure that he wanted to know. Although there was no way he could avoid this forever. He was going to have to confront his past in one way or another, whether he liked it or not.

After dinner, Anthony retreated to the solitude of his study, his mind heavy with the day's events and the conversation with his mother. He reached into his pocket and retrieved a small, smooth pebble, a cherished memento of his bond with Chloe. The initials "C" and "A" were etched on to its surface, a tangible reminder of their childhood connection. Of the bond that they shared. Of the wonderful times that they'd had together. Sitting at his desk, Anthony ran his thumb over the familiar grooves of the initials, lost in thought. The study was filled with the soft glow of the fire, casting long shadows on the walls lined with books. The room had always been a place of comfort and reflection for him, and tonight was no different.

The memories of his youth with Chloe washed over him like a tide. He could almost hear her laughter, feel the warmth of her presence beside him. The pebble was a simple thing, but it held the weight of all the promises they had made to each other. Promises he had broken when he left for the Grand Tour without so much as an explanation.

As Anthony gazed at the pebble, he was transported back to those idyllic days spent with Chloe, skipping stones and sharing their hopes and dreams by the tranquil river near their homes. He recalled the sparkle in her eyes whenever she talked about the future, her infectious laughter that could brighten the darkest of days. They had shared everything, from childhood secrets to their deepest aspirations.

One memory, however, stood out starkly against the backdrop of their otherwise happy times together. He remembered the day Chloe's father, Lord Swift, had pulled him aside. It was a sunny afternoon, and Anthony had just finished helping Chloe gather wildflowers. It had been such a wonderful day, leaving him feeling warmer than he ever felt possible… until he had been pulled to one side.

That was when Lord Swift told him that he had to stay away from Chloe, for her own good. It was more of a threat than anything, and Anthony had always been a little nervous around Chloe's father. He was not sure what the man was capable of, especially when he was trying to make him leave. That was when he decided to go on his Grand Tour. He had hoped that distancing himself from the heartache would give Chloe the chance to find a more suitable match. With a heavy sigh, Anthony placed the pebble on his desk, his fingers lingering on its smooth surface as he grappled his conflicting emotions. He had to find a way to move forward, but how could he when his heart was still tethered to the past?