Chapter Thirteen

T he remainder of the evening was spent in pleasant enough conversation without mentioning Holly and Gavin's marriage again. It was as if the scene had never happened, but Holly knew a significant shift had taken place. She witnessed the intensity of Gavin's stare once dinner finished and they readied for their departure. She gently pulled Derek away from the rest, as she was interested in learning the name of the American candy manufacturer he had mentioned so that she could order more lemony mints for Gavin as a surprise.

"Of course," Derek said with a friendly smile. He dipped his head close to her ear. "I shall send over the package and the letter my brother wrote so that you can send for them straight away."

"Thank you," she said as he straightened back up.

"My pleasure," he said, taking her hand to bow over it. "It was an interesting evening, my lady. I'm glad to have finally met you."

"You as well," she said with a dip of her chin.

Looking across the room, Holly saw Gavin's dark face, glaring at the earl's back as he moved away from her. Unease rattled throughout her body. Was he upset with her for declaring outright, in a room full of people, that they would indeed remain married?

But if he was upset, why hadn't he said something? Was it just because he was too good a person to make her out to look like a fool in front of their friends? Oh, what a mess she made. Why had Marnie opened her mouth? And why had Holly risen to the bait?

Never in Holly's life had she met a more disagreeable person. She certainly had a high opinion of herself, which would have been bearable if that was her only flaw, but how she spoke about Gavin had bothered Holly greatly. She made it seem like she was somehow a presence in his life. She practically demanded compensation for raising him, but wasn't that what the family was supposed to do? Holly had done it, and never once had it ever crossed her mind to seek payment from either of her siblings for doing so. Family took care of family. That was it. But Marnie had seemingly done so out of spite.

Holly couldn't figure it out. Why hadn't John not fought harder for his nephew? Indeed, he had to know what sort of woman his sister was. Holly wondered if there wasn't some sort of letter stored somewhere detailing the situation regarding Gavin's guardianship when it suddenly hit her.

His diaries.

John had kept extensively detailed accounts of his activities for all his life. Perhaps something was written in those journals that could better explain why he had given up Gavin to his sister.

As the carriage arrived back at Bairnsdale Terrace, Holly, Katrina, and Gavin exited and entered. Holly was sure Gavin was following her and her sister, but when they reached the second landing on the staircase, she saw he wasn't behind them. Deflated somewhat, she tried to hide her worry and retired to her room where Anne was waiting to help undress her.

Reaching around her neck, Holly unclipped the pearl and emerald choker Anne had brought earlier that evening. It had been part of a small collection of jewelry that had been gifted to her upon her arrival. The pearl and emerald parure set also included a bracelet, ring, and a pair of earbobs, though Holly had only opted to wear the necklace, which she now placed into a small rosewood box.

The evening had been a success, particularly for Katrina, who had managed to impress and withstand the company of some of the most powerful men in the realm, and Holly couldn't have been more pleased.

Except for the tension that had grown between her and Gavin since dinner.

Holly sighed as she stared into the fireplace. She hadn't meant to make such a proclamation, but Marnie had been so sure that she and Gavin didn't suit that Holly's spite got the better of her, and she had spoken without thinking, simply to hush the woman up. But Gavin's eyes later that night when she spoke with Trembley told her he wasn't pleased with her. And he was well within his right to be upset. It wasn't fair for her to say such a thing without discussing it first. He likely wasn't too thrilled to be saddled with a wife he had hoped to be rid of by the end of the season.

Still, Holly was surprised when he came through the door that connected their rooms. She knew he would want to discuss her outburst, but she had assumed he would wait until the morning. Seeing the displeasure on his face made her stiffen her spine.

"Holly—"

"I know it wasn't my place to say that," she said quickly before he could start. She held up her hands to stop him from talking. "But I didn't know what else to do. I know she is your aunt, but I don't think that gives her the right to air our business the way she did. And while I spoke in haste, everything I said is the truth, isn't it?" She spoke quickly. "Without a notice from the Catholic church, our marriage cannot be annulled. And who knows how long that will take? Months? Years? Are we to live, married, for a decade before either of us are permitted to move on? So, while I should have discussed it with you first, before announcing it to everyone, I don't believe anything I said was technically wrong."

Gavin watched her, his brow creased.

"You've… Wait a moment. That's not what I wish to discuss."

Holly tilted her head.

"It's not?"

"No."

"Then what do you wish to discuss?"

"I want to know what you were talking about with Trembley."

Holly blinked. That was unexpected. What could her silly conversation with Trembley matter compared to the fact that she had effectively decided, without so much as a word from Gavin, to remain married?

"I beg your pardon?" she asked with a frown.

"After dinner, you were speaking with Trembley in the parlor. About something private, I assume. I would like to know what it was about."

"Oh," Holly said, her cheeks warming beneath his gaze. "Why do you wish to know?" She had hoped to be able to present the candies to him as a surprise.

To her surprise, Gavin's nostrils flared slightly as he began to pace, arms held behind his back.

"I should have guessed, although I must say, he's got some nerve."

"Who? Trembley?"

"Of course."

"What are you talking about? Wait, Gavin."

But before she could continue, he turned, stalking towards her, coming within inches of her.

"Just because our marriage was set up doesn't give him the right to bother you with his lecherous behavior."

"Lecherous?" Holly repeated, stunned. "He wasn't being lecherous."

"Wasn't he?"

He glared at her, and for the first time since meeting him, Holly realized he was genuinely upset. And if she wasn't mistaken, it was because he was jealous. Jealous that she had been talking to his friend.

A strange, guilty pleasure unfolded within her. How silly it was to be both annoyed and pleased with his reaction. But she didn't want him to be jealous, especially towards a friend, so she smirked, lighting a fire in Gavin's eyes.

"What?" he asked heatedly.

"It's a secret."

That was the wrong thing to say, for in the next instant, Gavin's hands were on her arms, holding her firmly in place.

"I'll not have secrets between my wife and some bas—"

She couldn't help but let a small laugh escape, both amused and wildly worried. He was indeed infuriated now as he glared at her. "Bloody hell, Holly, what is so amusing?"

She brought her hands up to his face, and though he flinched away at first, she held him steady.

"I was asking Trembley for the name of the confectioner who makes your lemon and mint candies," she said softly. "That is all."

He stared at her for a long moment, evidently confused.

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to get you some more, though you've taken the surprise out of it." She shook her head. "You're not a very good sport about secrets, are you?"

Her playful words didn't seem to sink in. He was watching her with a perplexity that unnerved her, and suddenly she was very sorry for having teased him.

She was about to apologize when he suddenly pulled her against him and kissed her hard. Holly felt as if the air evaporated in her lungs. This wasn't like the other kisses they shared. This was something else. Something deeper, stronger. When an undetermined sound escaped her lips, she felt him pull away, kissing and nipping at her ear. His hand came up to her neck, holding her in a positively possessive way. Her eyes closed as he spoke.

"I don't know what you're doing to me, Holly. I don't like it." She nodded, knowing exactly how he felt. "I'm rarely the type of person to be out of sorts. I've worked very hard to maintain an even temper and good nature for most of my life. I am not prone to jealousy or fits of whatever this is," he said, looking down at her. "But my god, if I am not tormented by this…"

Gavin's mouth found hers again, and she eagerly moved her body against his, her hands exploring the large expanse of his muscular back. It was a bizarre experience. Holly had never felt so sure, so comfortable, while also terrified. She didn't know what she was doing and only had the instinct to follow, but the thoughts and desires running through her mind were far too outrageous. And yet, being with Gavin made even her most scandalous ideas seem perfectly reasonable.

She should say something, should explain that she didn't know what she was doing, but Gavin seemed to read her mind. He pulled back ever so slightly, his forehead resting against hers as he spoke.

"I need you to tell me to stop, Holly," he said, his eyes closed as a pained expression passed over his face. "If this isn't what you want, you need to tell me, because I'm not going to be able to—"

"Don't stop," she whispered breathlessly against his mouth before kissing him.

That was all Gavin needed to hear, apparently. He seemed emboldened at her words and picked her up in a sweeping move, which caused her to gasp. She clutched her arms tightly around his neck as he continued peppering kisses across her face.

Holly was aware of what he was feeling. It was as if a dam had broken. For weeks there had been a thread running through them, an intangible thing that seemed to hold them together, and it had finally been brought to light.

As he laid her on the bed, his mouth moved down her neck and, to her mortified satisfaction, her breasts. Never in her life had she experienced such a sensation, and she bucked her hips upward at the feeling. He suckled and teased her until she was panting by the time he pulled away.

The petulant part of her moaned with discontent as he removed himself from her, but in the next moment, he was undressing, and she closed her mouth to watch him. His eyes were locked on hers, but her gaze dropped to his chest. Some of the tenant farmers in the summer months had removed their shirts in the blazing heat, but they had been so far away, and as talented as the master painters were, none had ever captured the vigor that seemed to be radiating from Gavin.

Rolling his shoulders as he removed the clothing, he bent down over her, his eyes boring into her. His mouth dropped to hers, and with deliberate slowness, he kissed her, but only until she kissed back. Then he pulled away, causing her to groan once more. Then, that irritating smirk appeared, and she was exasperated and charmed.

"Easy," he whispered. "You'll rush it."

"Yes," she said, almost pleading. "Please."

But he shook his head.

"No. It's better when it's slow."

Holly was sure he was lying, and even though she had half a mind to argue, she really had no experience, except that time he… Her entire body suddenly warmed at the memory, and it must have been displayed on her face, for Gavin's grin widened though his eyes turned dark.

"Yes, love, you'll have that again."

Holly wanted to shrink into the bedsheets beneath her back, but instead, she simply closed her eyes and enjoyed the slow, torturous examination beneath Gavin's hands. He was pretty thorough, and as each piece of fabric was removed, he placed a dozen kisses on her exposed skin.

Soon, she was completely naked, and Gavin had successfully kissed every inch of her. But the unbearable heat that had built within her made her quiver at every gentle touch.

He came up over her then, teasing her mouth open as his hand snaked down her torso. His fingers moved between her legs, slowly moving inside her, and her mouth opened. He licked at her lips as he rhythmically pushed and pulled his finger inside her.

She felt the same extraordinary build she had experienced days ago begin to simmer in her belly as he touched her, and she was sure she would explode soon when he removed his hand, leaving her again deflated.

"Gavin," she said pleadingly.

"Yes. Say my name," he said into her ear. "Beg me for it."

"I can't."

"But you can. You already are."

"Please. Just do it."

"I'm getting there, love. But I had to make sure you could fit me."

Holly's brow furred when he suddenly moved, and she felt a significant invasion enter her. She gasped and wrapped her arms around his neck as his arms moved beneath her, holding her close.

"Easy, my love."

Holly nodded silently, and after several minutes, the sting subsided. She was sure her release had disappeared, but the moment he began to move, just as his fingers had, Holly felt a wash of giddy heat splash over her. Nothing in her life could compare to this moment, and she began to move with Gavin. He grabbed her hand and kissed her fingertips. He forced her hand to his chest and held it there as he kneeled between her thighs, pumping into her with a quickened pace.

Holly was concupiscent. No image had ever been produced that was more sensual than Gavin knelt before her, shirtless, moving inside her. Without warning, sparks began to light all over her body, and her back arched involuntarily as the same euphoric feeling crashed into her. Only this time, it didn't disappear as soon as it came. Instead, it rolled through her like waves, and she was vaguely aware of Gavin's body, coming back down over her, squeezing her against his chest as he convulsed.

The hazy aftermath of lovemaking was so heavy that Holly was barely awake when she felt Gavin's warmth leave her. Humiliatingly, she felt a warm, wet cloth being swiped between her legs, and she refused to open her tired eyes to witness it but was grateful when Gavin returned to her moments later. Slipping beneath the covers, Holly tucked herself against his chest and, huddled together in a gentle embrace, fell asleep.