Chapter 10

TEN

Asher was really fucking mad.

Mad at a lot of things. Mad at how this whole day had gone from bad to worse.

First, before the sun had even come up, he'd found out that Daris had lied to him, tried to fuck him over. Daris, the one person Asher had known the longest in his miserable fucking life, and he'd lied to him.

Then they go shoot a bunch of wannabe terrorists, and Harry almost got himself shot several times. Once by the trees, so Asher had to blow the gas tank on the cabin. Yes, it killed the assholes who'd shot at Harry, but it also risked exposing them. The fact that Asher's aim had been off with the third vehicle… He hadn't meant to hit the fuel tank, but he did. A rookie mistake, and that pissed Asher off too.

Then Harry almost got himself shot when he was down by the vehicles. Had he not even thought to check if any of those fascist fucks were still alive? No, he just ran in without thinking and got shot at.

Asher had to take that fucker out too .

And then when Harry ran into the far side of the trees, chasing the men trying to escape on foot, Asher didn't have a clear line of sight. A fact Harry should have realised and didn't.

Or didn't care.

And that pissed Asher off too.

Three times. Three fucking times Asher had almost lost Harry in one day.

It was reckless and stupid.

And then . . .

And then they learned that Lucas is MI6.

Lucas, who had been by Yunho's side for a decade. Married him, cared for him, helped him, understood him. Lucas, who Yunho trusted above all else.

Asher had trusted him too.

And it was all a lie.

Not to mention the fact that they had to crawl through that wretched tunnel for what felt like forever. They'd cleaned up in the river, washing off any splatters of blood and mud, then walked for goddamn miles around the freaking mountain onto the hiking trails, pretending to be happy-go-lucky hikers to any other hiking passers-by, back to where they'd parked the Jeep.

It'd taken hours.

But it had got them out. And by the time they got back to their hotel, Asher was really tired, really hungry, and really fucking mad.

Harry ordered some dinner to be delivered and Asher tried to shower and scrub away his filthy mood.

He came out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel.

"There's some pasta here," Harry said. "Have some. I'm gonna have a few bites, then I'll grab a shower. We need to see what we can find out about Lucas. Do we believe what he said? Do you think it could be true?"

Asher had thought he was hungry, but now facing food, he wasn't sure. "Are we going to talk about how you almost got shot today? Three times, Harry. I almost lost you three times."

Harry put his fork down with a sigh. "I didn't almost get shot," he muttered.

"You almost fucking died today and you don't care," Asher said. He was so wound-up, so upset, he could barely contain his tears. "And you don't even care. You don't care what it would do to me. You didn't think about me at all. It would fucking kill me, Harry, and you don't even give a shit."

Harry stood up and collected him in a fierce hug. Asher tried to pull away, to fight him... Yes, a good fight would make him feel better. A fight that ends with fucking. Getting railed into the mattress would make him feel so much better, so he fought a little harder, trying to kick and thrash.

Harry only held him tighter. "We're not doing that today," he murmured.

Damn him for being so much bigger, so much stronger.

Asher struggled to get free. "Need you to fight me," he bit out. "Hold me down and?—"

"No." Harry was completely still, gripping him in his vice-like hold. "We're not doing that today. I won't fight-fuck you. Not today."

Asher tried to fight him off one last time but Harry was too strong, and Asher didn't have the strength or the will to keep trying. He stopped and sagged, a sob escaping him, and Harry's hold on him became a warm embrace.

"I'm sorry," Harry whispered. "It's okay to be scared. I'm sorry I was foolish today. I'm not as agile as I used to be. I can't think like I used to. I'm sorry it scared you."

Asher let himself cry for a second, Harry rubbing his back. "It would kill me, Harry."

"I know. Like it'd kill me if something were to happen to you."

"I missed a shot today," Asher admitted. "I didn't mean for the car to explode; I meant to take out the engine block but I was scared for you, and I've never missed a shot in my life."

Harry pulled back and wiped Asher's cheek with his thumb. "I wondered about that."

"Did they move the fuel tank in those cars?"

Harry almost smiled but then seemed to think twice about it. "I'm sure they did."

Asher nodded. "It was your fault, because you almost got shot and I panicked!"

Harry nodded. "I'm sorry."

"And then you went into the trees and I couldn't get a clear shot. Christ, Harry, I've never been so scared."

"I think I was reckless because I knew you had my back." Harry inhaled deeply. "You know this Radovic guy?"

Asher froze. "Yes. But I can't talk about him tonight."

Harry cupped Asher's jaw, his palm calloused and warm. "Okay. Whenever you're ready, I'll listen."

Asher leaned into it and closed his eyes, his chin wobbling. "I came so close today to losing you. And I'm worried about what comes next because we're not as good as we used to be, Harry. And it's only going to be harder, and I left the MAC 50 behind. I wiped it down, of course, but I couldn't pack it up and bring it with me. "

"You were right about the 36s though. It's a good weapon."

Asher sniffed and nodded. "Then you had to take over asking Rozga the questions because I couldn't even slice some tendons properly."

"You did great," Harry said. "That Achilles slice was flawless."

Asher frowned, getting teary again. "I'm just not good at the close-up stuff. You're so much better at it than me."

"And you're better at sniping than I could ever be."

Asher still didn't feel any better. "Look at me. I used to be precise and cold and mysterious, and now I'm a mess, crying, and you won't even fuck me like I need you to."

"I'm not going to hurt you," Harry whispered, lifting Asher's chin and kissing him softly. "I'll fill your ass to the brim if you want me to, but I won't be rough."

Asher frowned again, but he considered this proposal. "To the brim, huh?"

Harry chuckled, brushing his lips over Asher's. "I'll make love to you, bury my cock in you, long and deep. I'll come inside you. Show you how much you mean to me."

Asher groaned, and Harry crushed his mouth to Asher's, kissing him deeply. He held his face with one hand and pulled him close with the other, their bodies flush.

Asher pulled his towel away and Harry groaned, walking him backwards to the bed. He laid Asher down, pulling his shirt over his head, and Asher pulled at Harry's button and fly.

Harry lifted one foot, ripping at the laces. "Damn boots."

Asher laughed and, reaching into Harry's pants, pulled his dick free. "Leave your boots on," he said. "Leave your pants on. Fuck me like this."

Harry seemed genuinely torn, but Asher reached for the lube, scooted up the bed, and began prepping himself. "Don't make me wait, Harry."

He kneeled on the bed, boots and pants still on, and crawled up Asher's body, between his legs. Asher smeared his hole, slipping a fingertip in, then two, relishing the bite, the push.

Harry groaned. "That's my job."

"Then get over here and do it." He poured more lube over his palm and slicked Harry's cock. "You said you'd fill me to the brim."

Harry gripped Asher's ankles and pulled him down the bed a little, then pushed his knees up to his chest, leaning over him. "I'm gonna fill you," he whispered, his cock at Asher's hole. "With my cock, with my come."

He pushed into him, Harry's blunt cockhead breaching him in a long, slow push. The size of him still took Asher by surprise, that first push, that first slide in.

The intrusion, the overwhelming feeling of being taken, of being owned and claimed. It was everything Asher needed.

That one moment of focus, of clarity, his entire mind filled with nothing but this primal urge.

Harry groaned, his breaths shuddering until he slid all the way in. Asher's back arched and he gripped Harry's back, needing him to stay right there, to never move, to be that deep inside him forever. He couldn't think of anything else in that moment, nothing else in the world existed, until Harry's tongue invaded his mouth and he began the blissful tug of war inside him; cock and tongue, sliding in and pushing back in .

Then it was stimulation overload, too much and not enough at the same time.

Harry held him as he controlled this seesaw, giving him everything he needed. And this was what he needed. Not to be held down and fucked like he'd wanted earlier. This right here, this tender rocking, gentle yet so consuming...

Harry always knew what Asher needed, even when Asher didn't.

And by god, he needed this.

Asher reached down to Harry's ass, pushing his underwear over the swell of his ass cheeks, and slid his finger down his crack.

Harry groaned into Asher's mouth, his rhythm faltering. Asher smiled into their kiss and Harry rewarded him with a sharp thrust back in. Punishment for toying with him really wasn't punishment at all when it was what Asher wanted.

"Fuck, Asher," Harry bit out. "You're gonna make me come too fast."

Asher groaned, his blood warming at the thought. "Fill me to the brim tonight," he rasped. "You said you would."

Harry shuddered and drove up into him. God, he was so big, Asher was so full of him, and as Harry began to thrust harder, his cock harder and with a final thrust, Harry rolled his hips as deep as he could go, and he came.

Asher felt the pulse, the rush of warmth, as Harry came inside him. Harry groaned, his neck corded with veins, with power.

When he collapsed on top of Asher, Asher held him, rolling his hips and relishing the feel of Harry softening inside him. Asher loved it all, feeling every bit owned and cherished as he was .

Harry moaned as he slipped out of him. "Jesus," he breathed, collapsing onto the bed beside him. "I didn't even make you come. Just gonna need a minute."

Asher laughed, rolling on top of Harry's back. He'd only meant to cuddle him, to feel close, to stay joined to him. But his erection pressed down the cleft of Harry's ass, and it felt so good.

His pants were now around his thighs, keeping his legs together, making it a tight fit. "Fuck," he hissed.

"What are you doing?" Harry asked. He didn't move so he wasn't bothered. But ass play really wasn't something Asher had ever done with Harry.

They'd never had the need.

Asher was a greedy bottom, wanting nothing more than a good hard fuck, which Harry had always been only too happy to provide.

But this . . .

This was new, and Asher's hips seemed to move on their own accord. The sensation on his cock too good, too pure to stop.

"Gonna come like this," Asher said, thrusting into the crevice of Harry's ass, over his hole, and behind his balls. "Oh god."

He could only imagine what it would be like to be inside him, to push into him, to own him the way Harry owned him. Harry clenched and Asher jolted with pleasure. "Fuck yes," Asher grunted. He lay over Harry's back, thrusting and chasing his orgasm until the pleasure became too much and he couldn't stop until he tumbled over the edge.

He came, his cock buried in the crease of Harry's ass, spilling his seed over his balls. He shuddered through his release, groaning into the back of Harry's neck .

"Fucking hell," Asher mumbled, his head spinning.

He felt the need to apologise, to ask if Harry was okay because this was not something they'd discussed. Asher had never entertained the idea of topping Harry, and even though he hadn't, he'd wished he came inside him.

"Harry," he began.

"Stay there," Harry said, his voice rough. "Feels good, where you are right now."

Jesus. He liked it?

A tremor wracked through Asher. "I wanted to come inside you," Asher admitted in a whisper. "Never wanted to do that before."

"Never wanted that done before," Harry replied, rolling his hips a little. "Wouldn't mind it right now."

Asher's cock twitched, so he gripped Harry's hip, holding him still. "Christ, Harry."

Harry pulled a pillow under his face and laughed into it. So relaxed, so at ease. Then he tried to widen his legs a little but his pants restrained him.

Christ, he does want this . . .

Asher slid his finger down Harry's crack, smearing his come over his hole and pushing a fingertip inside him.

Harry gasped and gripped the pillow, raising his ass, so Asher used his come to slick his hole some more and pushed in two fingertips.

"Fuck," Harry grunted.

Asher couldn't help it. He couldn't stand it another second. He gripped his half-hard cock and pushed it against Harry's hole. He barely got the tip in. Harry was too tight and Asher was barely hard enough, but he drove it in. Harry let out a cry through gritted teeth, and Asher sank inside him.

God, it felt so good .

Tight, hot, slick with his come.

He wanted to deliver it deeper next time. "Gonna come inside you next time," Asher said.

Harry's hands fisted the pillow, his knuckles white, and he grunted. But he kept his ass up and open. Willing and wanting.

"Would you like that?" Asher asked, and Harry groaned. "Then I'll own you the way you own me."

Harry moaned. "You already own me."

Asher kissed the spot between Harry's shoulder blades and pulled back so he slipped out of Harry, wishing like hell that his dick could recover like it used to.

Getting older sucks.

Getting older is a privilege he heard in Yunho's voice. He used to say that all the time. Every time Asher had complained about the aches and pains, or having a birthday, Yunho would remind him that many people weren't so lucky.

God, how he hoped that Yunho was okay.

Asher got up off the bed and pulled Harry's boots off, then taking his pants by the hems, he pulled them off too. "Let's have a shower," Asher said. He felt better than he did before. More focused now, his head clearer and not so caught up on the unspent anger and frustration. "Then we can work out what's next."

Harry rolled off the bed with a groan. "Man, I'm sore."

"Your ass?" Asher asked.

Harry laughed. "No, my legs. Christ." He shuffled as he walked to the bathroom. "How far did we walk today?"

"Too far."

"I'm too old for this shit," Harry grumbled. He turned the shower on and smiled at Asher. "My ass feels good, actually. "

"Hm." Asher liked the sound of that. "Not opposed to what I said?"

Harry laughed as he stepped into the shower, under the water. "Never thought so before, but I'm not opposed at all."

Asher gasped, his hand to his heart, following Harry into the cubicle. "I don't mind accommodating your needs, but let's get one thing clear. I'm the bottom in this relationship, and I need your dick in my ass regularly, so don't get any ideas about swapping places."

Harry laughed, and turning Asher around, pinning his back to the tiles, he lifted one of Asher's legs up over his hip. "Oh, believe me, I know what you need, and I'm only too happy to give it. But it was your idea to roll on top of me and put your cock inside me with promises to come in me next time, so you've only got yourself to blame if I like the sound of it."

Asher groaned out a laugh. "Such a bossy bottom already."

Harry laughed and kissed him before he smacked his ass. "Let's get cleaned up. We've got shit to do."

"Do you believe what Rozga said?" Harry asked.

Asher pushed the half-eaten now-cold pasta away. They'd worked out their travel plans for the next day and had watched the local news about the compound explosions and all the bodies, and how known leader Rozga was missing. Authorities believed he was either kidnapped by the culprits, or he was responsible. That told Asher they hadn't found his body in the tunnel and they had no clue who was responsible.

But it had brought the topic of conversation back to what he'd said.

"Which part? About Lucas being MI6? Or about Istomin being part of the Russian government and long live the USSR and Yugoslavia and the new cold war?"

Harry sighed. "You know, in all my time working for the Australian government, I dealt with my fair share of guys who yearned for the past. But this all leads back to the USSR and Yugoslavia? These government military men want something that no longer exists. Prepared to kill for it. It's fucked up."

"It's different for you," Asher said quietly. "You didn't live through the war. I know you've seen a lot of war, Harry. Been to a lot of war zones. But it's different, living it on your home soil. A lot of people lost loved ones in the name of change. Their cities and towns were decimated, family members, neighbours killed; cultures erased. Life was never the same. And many of them are then expected to coexist with the people who did it."

Harry's eyebrows knitted. "Yeah. Sorry, I just... I just don't get it."

Asher sighed. "I never felt love for any country. You know that. I was never in any place long enough to feel at home, to be loyal. Deliberately so. But I am still a product of war. I am who I am because of the war. No family, no way of knowing where I come from. Was taken and trained to kill people when I was just a boy."

Harry reached over and took Asher's hand. "I'm sorry. I know... I can't imagine what you went through."

Asher tried to smile, but it was weak at best. "It's okay. I can't understand the need to exact revenge to a country or a government. That's foreign to me." He shrugged. "We each have our causes, I guess."

Harry's eyes met his. "And what's your cause?"

"To keep you safe, always. To bring Yunho home. And to kill anyone who gets in my way of either."

Harry smiled, rubbing his thumb across the back of Asher's knuckles. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"You said something to Daris," he whispered. "About what those assholes did to you in Turkey."

Asher sighed, his mind replaying flashes of nightmares he'd long tried to forget. He knew he needed to talk about it, but it wasn't easy. "It was a long time ago," he began. "I was... I was about eight, I think. Daris was ten. They would beat us, make us run for hours, make us fight for food. We learned languages, and tricks on how to be invisible. They would shoot at us to motivate us. The kids that lost, the slower or weaker ones, were..." He sighed. "Sold, I think. Some were killed if they were too badly injured, but most were sold off to the highest bidder. To sick fucks who wanted boys, usually."

Harry closed his eyes, and Asher wished he could block it out that easily.

"We learned to never get attached or make friends. It was easier in the end that way."

"Oh, Asher, baby," Harry murmured.

He tried to smile for him. "But I was fast and a quick learner. I could read people and situations, and be whatever they needed me to be," he whispered. "They'd strip us naked and beat us. Grown men against boys. Then the older boys were made to..." He shuddered and let out a long breath, unable to finish that sentence. He took a deep breath and let his memories take him on a different path. " Radovic was one of them. He was very cruel. But I learned very fast to be a chameleon. Blend in, disappear. One of the leaders favoured me, saw that I had skills. I was taken to Kosovo after that."

Harry lifted Asher's hand to his lips, kissed his palm and then his knuckles, then held it to his cheek. "Did Daris go with you?"

Asher shook his head. "No. We were two out of half a dozen that lasted the longest. I was the youngest in the end. I went with Radovic to Kosovo. Daris went to Hungary. I saw him a few years later in Albania." Asher managed a smile at that. "It was good to see him. Like seeing a brother. We had a week, like a summer holiday. We swapped stories and dared to think of the future. Until a new shipment of boys came in and I went to Italy after that. Then years later when I found myself back in Croatia, I tracked Daris down. I expected him to be dead. But no. He said he worked at a logistics place and he was finally living a normal life."

Harry sighed. "I'm sorry he lied to you."

"Me too. But you know, I don't know if I blame him anymore." Asher shrugged. "We were taught to do whatever it took to survive, and maybe that's what he was doing."

"Still," Harry murmured, "betrayal stings."

"There are very few people I care enough to feel betrayal over," Asher admitted. "Just you, Yunho, and Lucas..."

God, he'd almost forgot about that.

Harry scowled. "Do you really think he's MI6?"

"I don't know," Asher replied quietly. "I don't know what to make of that. But I promise, if he's the one who betrayed Yunho, he will learn how much pain the human body can endure before death."

"And I will help you." Harry closed the laptop. "But it's late and we've got a big day ahead of us tomorrow."

"Ah, yes, driving to Belgrade."

"And our plan to track down Istomin," Harry hedged. "It's high-risk, and we'll re-evaluate the situation if we find out any new information."

God, it was times like this that Asher missed Yunho the most. He would've given Asher any information he needed with a few clicks of his computer.

"And there was nothing about Istomin in Yunho's magic data folders?"

"Nothing that I could see, but I'll keep looking while you drive tomorrow."

Harry nodded slowly. "To the Serbian Military Headquarters or the Russian embassy in Belgrade. Or both, perhaps."

Asher sighed. "What could possibly go wrong?"