CHAPTER TWO

ABIGAIL

Amanda scoots closer after Finn leaves, excitement radiating from her frail body. "Who was that hunk of man candy?"

Laughing at the apt description, I try to appear unaffected by Finn's visit. With long hair and tats covering his body, his resemblance to Charlie Hunnam from Sons of Anarchy is undeniable and sexy. Which is why my first thought when he'd asked for a book was to recommend a motorcycle club romance ? an entire smorgasbord of dangerous bikers in leather. Not that I've seen Finn riding a motorcycle, but it wouldn't surprise me if he owned one.

"Just a patron searching for something to read," I toss out like it doesn't matter to me one way or the other. Even though his shocking arrival and our subsequent conversation had set off an explosion of nerves, heat, and confusion ? a volatile mix in my usually calm body.

"Seemed like more than that with the way he eye-fucked you the whole time."

"Amanda!" I gasp and shush her with a pleading wave, my gaze furiously scanning the vicinity to see if anyone else heard her. "There are children here! Besides, I think you misinterpreted whatever you saw; he wasn't… well, you know. He's not interested in me. We've only met once."

"Once was all it took for me and Jimmy," she warns before tottering off to start our closing routine for the day. Unwillingly, I stare at the parking lot as if Finn's still outside ? waiting for me ? and the absurd thought brings me back to reality.

A man like that? Danger wrapped in seductive ink and muscles. Something that doesn't pair well with knit sweaters and a virgin in every way ? no tattoos or piercings and no men ever. Hell, I couldn't even watch Sons of Anarchy because of the violence. Yet I think I can handle a man who looks like he'd fit right into that world?

Not that I've had much luck with other types of guys...

My fleeting interlude with Michael was a mistake, an attempt to fix the whole virgin problem, but in the end, I couldn't even let him touch me. After nearly thirty years of being alone with little physical contact with others, the idea of breaking that record with him just hadn't felt right.

My family were never huggers or prone to discussing feelings and that ‘hands off' vibe has followed me through life. It took me years before getting used to my best friends', Ella and Saoirse's, touch ? the impromptu hugs or random playful bumps. Is it any wonder I couldn't bear a kiss from Michael?

Honestly, I'm not sure what prompted him to ask me out when he visited the library a month ago. But since he was the only man to ever show interest in me ? and my thirtieth birthday was right around the corner ? I figured, what could it hurt?

The lights above flash to signal fifteen minutes until closing and serve as my cue to stop thinking about Finn. He stopped by the library like every other Smithfield resident. So, what? It doesn't mean he's into me or that I should consider whether to let him touch me or not.

Best to stick with what I know. For almost thirty years, I've been single because no man has seriously approached me with interest ? Michael was a weird fluke. And I don't foresee that changing anytime soon.

***

Stepping inside my apartment, I hang my purse and coat on hooks by the door. My shoes are barely kicked off when someone knocks with a rapid rhythm. "Hang on," I call, hopping over to the door to let Ella and Saoirse in. They want to talk about my birthday, although it's going to be a quiet night in town.

"Hey, are we too early?" Ella spies my haphazardly thrown shoes against the welcome bench I have set up as part of a makeshift mudroom area.

"No, it's fine. You guys get settled while I change into something comfier." After meeting in college, we liked to call ourselves the Tees I'd been too flustered to think straight with Finn's heat and clean, male scent enveloping me.

"Oh, why don't you drop it off at his tattoo parlor when it comes in?" Saoirse suggests, readjusting her position in the armchair to my right.

"Why? I'll possibly see him when he picks the book up."

"And you'll be working, which doesn't leave much time for talking. If you deliver the book to him, it'll be the perfect opportunity to chat, and he'll see how interested you are." Ella and Saoirse exchange excited grins as their hair-brained scheme takes shape.

"Who said I was?"

"The blushing doesn't lie. But even if you weren't, it's another man to learn to get comfortable around. That'll be a win in and of itself."

"Maybe…" The idea of walking into Valhalla Ink alone on the premise of giving Finn a book scares and intrigues me. It's out of my comfort zone, but they have a point. My life needs a good shake. This could be a healthy baby step.

Plus, I secretly made a vow on my last birthday that I'd have my first kiss before turning thirty, and time's almost up. Things didn't work out with Michael, and I doubt Finn is the man for me. But at least I'll be able to say I tried because it's more than I've been able to say for the past twenty-nine years.