Chapter 5

BEAR

Tinks skips out of school like the happiest child in the world, and it crosses my mind to get her checked out for split personality. She slips her hand in mine and smiles up at me. "I love you," she says, and I see it, that glint in her eye that Harley used to get right before she manipulated me.

I frown. "What happened today, Tinks?"

"I got cross, but I'm fine now."

"Why were you cross?"

She shrugs. "I was missing Mummy."

I crouch down. "I miss her too, Elsie, but I don't go biting people or hitting them." She drops her eyes to the floor. The classic pout adorns her lips and her hair covers her face. "Don't do that," I warn, and she glances up slightly to meet my eyes. "Don't look all sad like I'm being the bad guy. What do I do here?" I ask, and I know I sound exasperated. "We gotta do better, Tinks."

"Is Lu going to be my new mummy?"

I frown. "God, no, why would you ask that? And while we're on the subject, what did you tell Grandma about me and Lu?"

"I told her you were playing a game in your bedroom," she says innocently, and I inwardly cringe. "That's what you said."

"But that's my private business, Tinks. We talked about keeping things private, didn't we? You don't keep secrets from Daddy, but you keep everything about Daddy a secret. Right?" She nods. "Don't go talking to Grandma about me."

"But she asked."

"Asked what exactly?"

"If you had a girlfriend."

I groan, taking a deep, calming breath. "I'll speak to her. She shouldn't be asking things like that. Let's make a deal." I pause, and she gives another nod. "I don't have Lu come to my bedroom again, and you don't go hitting and biting anyone. Okay?"

"Deal," she confirms, holding out her fist for me to bump. I do it, but something tells me she can't stick to her end.

I drop Elsie back to the clubhouse, handing her over into Star's care. Since Harley died, the club whores have been a godsend. They take turns helping with childcare, and when they're not available, the men get stuck in. Elsie has always been spoiled by the guys. She's the club princess, so whatever she wants, they get it for her. It's both a blessing and a curse.

I get off the bike and head up the path, knocking loudly on Alison's door. It swings open with force, and I realise she probably saw me pull up on the bike. "What?"

"You can't be quizzing Elsie," I say, trying to remain calm.

"What are you talking about?"

"Asking her about me," I snap. "What are you playing at?"

"She belongs here with us, you know she does. She doesn't fit in with your . . . lifestyle."

"I won't keep going over this," I hiss. "She's with me and that ain't changing. So, stop poisoning her mind with your shit or I'll stop her coming here."

"You can't do that," she snaps.

"Watch me." I turn on my heel and walk off.

"I know you've replaced her," she yells after me. "I know you have whores in your bed."

I spin back, stalking towards her. She shrinks back slightly.

"You sound just like her," I growl, "throwing accusations. You're as fucked-up as she was."

"Because she knew you couldn't stay faithful."

"And neither could she," I yell, balling my fists. "You think she closed her fucking legs? She didn't. I knew all about her affairs, Alison. I wasn't blind. But I was terrified she'd take Elsie away from me, so I kept quiet. And when I finally challenged her, she lost the plot."

"Here you go again, making crap up," she spits.

"She caused that crash," I shout. "But I'm tired of telling you. She was aggressive and crazy, just like you."

"How dare you?"

"Where is he?" I demand. "Hiding away, too terrified of saying the wrong thing and being on the wrong end of you?" Her husband is a weak man, always hiding in the shadows and agreeing with whatever Alison says. "You know she couldn't fucking stand either of you, and I see why. Take this as your final warning—you fuck with Elsie anymore, I'm stopping all contact."

"I'll take you to court."

"Good," I cry, "and I can tell a judge of the shit you're doing. She attacked her teachers today," I tell her, "because of you."

She looks concerned. "Is she okay?"

"No," I yell. "She's messed-up. Now, back off."

I head straight for the bar, and Rebel slides a whiskey my way. I catch it and down it in one. Hunter joins me, slapping me on the back. "You good?" he asks cautiously.

"We got anything yet?" I ask, nodding towards Josh and Aaron.

"They came here to fill us in," he says, and I shake off the stress in my shoulders. "Office?" he asks. I nod, heading that way and leaving him to round up the chuckle brothers.

I sit at the desk and watch as they file in. "What you got?"

"Ray's definitely planning to set this place alight," says Josh. "All we know is it'll be a Saturday, early hours, but he hasn't told us which Saturday. We've all been told to keep our mobiles on and wait for a text."

"How do I know you're not playing me? You could still be working for him."

"I just wanna make money," Josh says honestly, and I believe him. He doesn't look stupid enough to cross me.

I give Hunter a nod, and he pours some white powder onto the desk, cutting it into lines. "That's your payment," I say.

Josh eyes it. "I don't need that shit. I need money."

I arch a brow. "You saying my gear is shit?"

"No, but it's not my thing."

I slam a hand on the table, and they both jump in fright. "I don't care if it's your thing," I snap. "You want me to trust you, snort the fucking line." Hunter hands him a straw, and he takes it reluctantly. "When I can trust you, I'll give you some gear to sell," I add. "And to sell, you need to know my shit is good." It's bullshit—I have big plans for them both. There's so much crap mixed into my gear, it'll keep them coming back for more. They'll snort half of what I give them to feed their addiction, and then they'll owe me. And once they're in my debt, I can get them to do almost anything. I smile as he snorts the line and passes the straw to his mate, who does the same. "Now, go and get your cocks wet," I order.

I wait for them to leave before turning to Hunter. "What do you think?"

"I dunno, Pres. You think we can trust them? Do we empty the clubhouse in case?"

I shake my head. "We send the whores to the club, Elsie to her Gran's, and we lie in wait." I add, "Call church. Let's get a plan together."

NORA

It's easy to slip backstage when no one notices you as a cleaner. It's coming to the end of my shift, and even though my feet are aching and I'm tired, I have this stupid need to prove that fucker wrong.

Backstage is bustling with women doing makeup and outfit changes. The club is only just starting to fill up with punters, which means hardly anyone will see what I'm about to do.

I strip down quickly, piling my clothes on a nearby chair, and then I grab a silk night slip from the hanger and slip it over my lace underwear.

I head to the stage, peeking around the curtain and gulping with nerves when I notice the first few tables are now busy. The DJ glances up and asks, "You got your music?"

I shake my head, and he rolls his eyes. "I don't know how many times I gotta tell you girls, bring your own fucking music, make my life easier."

"Sorry, I'm new," I mutter.

"I'll let you off if you give me a freebie after your shift." I give a nod, knowing full well I'll be out of here the second I've done this.

He grins, slapping my backside and making me wince. "Good girl. Now, go out there and show me what you've got." He gives me a slight shove, and I stumble out onto the stage.

I stripped for my ex a few times, and he always appreciated my moves, so I'm pretty sure I can pull this off.

Music begins to play and I recognise The Pussycat Dolls' ‘Don't Cha'. I move to the centre, swaying my hips. A few of the men in the front whistle loudly, boosting my confidence as I dip my hips. I turn my back, wiggling my arse and glancing back cheekily over my shoulder. They're lapping it up, and I have them eating out the palm of my hand. I unclip my bra and turn back to face them, keeping one arm over my breasts as I slide the straps down. The whistling gets louder as I tease them a few times before fully removing it and dropping it to the ground. Then I drop to my knees and tip my head back, arch my back, and uncover my breasts. When I slowly sit up again, I falter. Bear is at the front of the stage, his eyes burning into me, and he's pissed. Well, fuck him. I'm no innocent flower.

Dropping onto my backside, I bend my legs, hooking my thumbs into my thong. Bear arches a brow, almost daring me to go ahead. I smirk, tugging the ribbons that hold it in place, and whip it away, holding it in the air. Men erupt in cheers and wolf whistles. One man leans over, snatching the thong from my hand and pressing it to his face. I frown, but before I can react, Bear slams the man's head into the stage and snatches the thong from him. He then grips the hand that touched it and bends his fingers back until I hear a sickening snap.

The music dies down and security rush over, removing the man, who is now screaming in pain. I'm so stunned, I don't realise Bear has jumped on the stage. He grabs me by the wrists and hauls me to stand, snapping me from my haze.

"The fuck are you doing?" he growls in my ear, removing his leather jacket and wrapping it around me. He bustles me off the stage, shoving me back past the DJ, who is watching us with interest. "Answer me," he yells.

"I was fucking dancing, what did it look like?" My cheeks burn in anger, and maybe a touch of embarrassment. It feels like he wasn't turned-on by my moves—he was disgusted.

"Get your fucking clothes," he growls, shoving me in front of him into the change room. Some of the women look over, wondering what the commotion is.

Sapphire rushes over. "What's going on?"

He rounds on her, pointing his finger in her face. "Did you allow this?"

She shakes her head. "No, I swear. I didn't even know she was back here."

"It was all me," I mutter, collecting my clothes. "I did it."

He grabs a handful of my hair, and I wince as he guides me from the change room and steers me in the direction of his office.

He slams the door and releases me. "What the fuck was that about?" he demands again.

"I told you I need cash."

"You work in a school," he yells. "You could lose your job."

"Let me dance and I could pack that in."

He narrows his eyes. "You promised Elsie you'd work with her."

"She'll get another person after they replace me. I need the cash."

"Fuck the cash, you promised my kid you'd be there for her and you don't get to walk out on her when she's already a mess."

His words hit me hard, and I shrug from his jacket, handing it back. "My mum is sick," I begin.

"I don't wanna hear it," he cuts in.

"But I need the money to pay for her?—"

He slams his hand over my mouth. "I don't want to know about your life," he hisses, "and I don't want to see you on my stage again. Got it?" I give a nod, and he releases me but doesn't step back. His breathing is heavy and his eyes hooded, just like yesterday. I'm not making the first move this time, so I wait. His hand moves from my mouth to grab my throat, and he adds enough pressure for him to walk me back until I'm trapped between the closed door and his body. "You know how badly I wanna hurt you right now?" he whispers. "Just for letting them all see."

"I'm not sweet and innocent," I manage to say, even though the pressure on my throat makes it hard to talk.

He kicks my legs apart and his other hand cups me roughly. "I'm starting to see that," he mutters, running his fingers through my folds. "But can't you just humour me?" I close my eyes, fighting the orgasm that's already building. "You can't deny it's a fucking turn-on," he adds, kissing down my neck and across my chest. His takes my nipple into his mouth and sucks hard. "The sweet, innocent teacher and the bad boy," he murmurs, pushing two fingers into me. I shudder, gripping his shoulders.

"Come on my hand," he demands, thrusting harder and moving his other hand back to my throat. The pressure sends an orgasm hurtling through me, and I cry out, feeling the wetness soak my thighs. He pushes me to my knees, my legs trembling as I watch him pull his erection free. He presses it to my lips, and I open, allowing him to slip into my mouth. Tilting my head back, he begins to fuck my mouth, keeping one hand behind my head and one on my chin. I choke, my throat protesting his intrusion, but he doesn't give up, thrusting farther until I'm coughing so hard, I'm almost sick. It only spurs him on as he thrusts one last time, holding my head there while I try desperately to pull away. Squeezing his thighs, I dig my nails into his flesh as white spots blur my vision. Just when I think I'm about to pass out, Bear comes hard, coating my throat with the thick, salty liquid. I gasp for breath, not caring that his cum is spilling from my mouth.

"What the hell was that?" I yell, scrambling to my feet. He pins me back against the door, his hand on my throat again.

"Calm the fuck down," he warns. "You said you weren't sweet and innocent."

"That's not the point," I snap.

He wipes his thumb over my chin, collecting his cum and pushing it into my mouth. "Swallow," he orders, holding my mouth closed until he's satisfied I've followed his order. "Good girl." He kisses me, stealing my breath, and when he pulls back, I forget I'm mad as I stare longingly at his lips. "You're a good girl looking for a bad boy," he states, "so don't pretend you didn't enjoy choking on my cock." He slaps my thigh, leaving a sting, and I'm instantly wet again. He smirks. "Get dressed."

"Was I good?" I ask as I grab my jeans and slide them on.

"No."

I grin. "I was good."

"You were mediocre at best, with maybe a hint of potential."

"You know I was good. They loved me."

His eyes narrow. "They saw your innocence and wanted to corrupt it."

"Maybe I can get a job somewhere else," I add, "if you don't want me here." I pull on my top and turn to him to find that annoyed look on his face again.

"You made a promise to my little girl," he reminds me, pulling the office door open and waiting for me to pass. "You're not gonna break that."

I give an unsure laugh. "You realise I'm not gonna follow her through school, right?"

"It's not up for discussion, kitten. Get moving."

I roll my eyes and head out to the bar. It's so busy, I have to push through. And then, as if they've sensed something coming, the crowd parts and people nod to Bear like he's some kind of king. Sapphire spots me and indicates for me to head over, which I do. She grins wide. "Don't forget this," she says, handing me a bunch of cash, and I frown. "One of the security collected it from the stage after your little show up there. Seems you were quite the hit." She then looks past me to Bear. "Are we hiring her or what? I'm thinking Sweetness for her stage name, and I?—"

"No," he says clearly.

I glance at the notes scrunched in my hand. There must be at least two hundred here. "Wait, hold on a minute," I begin.

I feel him press against my back and then his breath brushes over my neck. "Don't challenge me, kitten. Not out here."

I involuntary shiver. He causes crazy reactions from me. "But this money?—"

"It's a no," he snaps, grabbing my hand and pulling me from the bar and outside. "What's your address?" I reel it off.

We stop at a motorbike, and I stare at it as he throws a leg over. "Get on," he tells me.

"But I've never been on one," I tell him.

"Get on," he repeats, staring ahead.

I sigh heavily and copy his action, throwing my leg over and using his shoulder as leverage. Once on, he passes me a helmet, which I push on my head. Then he slides his hands down my thighs, hooking his hands behind my knees and tugging me closer so I'm pressed against him. He takes my leg at the ankle and positions each one on a bar that pokes out from the bike, then he grabs my hands and pulls them around his waist so I'm holding on.

The bike jumps to life and a small screech escapes me. I squeeze him tighter, closing my eyes. "You might be a good fuck," I mutter, "but I'm not sure it's worth risking my life for." He pulls out into traffic, and for a second, I think he's going to sideswipe a car, which makes me screech a second time. "Jesus fucking Christ," I cry out, thankful the rumble of the engine is loud enough to drown out my voice. "You crazy bastard."

He speeds past cars, weaving in and out of traffic. "Please, God, don't let me die tonight," I pray out loud. "If you let me live, I'll be a saint from this day on. No more sex with this arsehole. In fact, I can join a nunnery." A car beeps us, and I cry out again. "If this is punishment for me stripping tonight, I'm sorry, okay. I won't do it again."

"Done," says Bear, his voice coming through as a crackle in my helmet.

I scream in fright. "You can hear me?"

"No more sex?" he questions, and I hear the amusement in his voice. I groan, embarrassed he heard every single word. "If God was real, he'd already know you're lying. You need fucking like a person needs air."

"Not true," I mutter.

"If I bent you over now, you'd be wet," he says with confidence, and I roll my eyes. He's right, but I'm not admitting it, so I stay quiet.

We turn onto my street, and he slows, stopping a few doors up from my house. I climb off and remove the helmet, handing it to him. "Thanks for the lift."

"If it's cash you need," he begins, hesitating before adding, "I can help you out."

I scoff. "Like a hooker?"

He looks annoyed and narrows his eyes. "Like maybe I can pay you to watch Tinks for me now and again."

"No offence, but babysitting isn't going to get me the cash I need." I pause before adding, "She's dying . . . my mum." I know he told me not to tell him, but I want him to know. I'm not even sure why, but sometimes, I feel so fucking alone that saying it out loud makes it feel lighter somehow.

"I told you not to tell me," he mutters, that irritated look returning.

His instant dismissal, his lack of empathy, it hurts. So, I turn to head towards my house. "You're a prick, yah know that?" I say out loud.

"Yep," he responds. "Never said I wasn't." Then his bike roars to life and he speeds away.

Mum is awake when I get in. The carer is reading a book in the corner. She should've left a few hours ago, so I pull my mobile out, realising I didn't even think to check it. "Shit, I'm so sorry," I say, seeing six missed calls. "I was so busy at work . . ." I trail off.

The carer stands, stuffing her book in her bag. "She's had a bad evening so far." I hate how they sometimes talk about her like she isn't in the room. "I've given her some pain relief, but it might be worth getting the nurse out first thing if the pain continues. She may need her meds upped." I give a stiff nod, and she leaves.

Mum gives a sad smile. "Sorry," she whispers.

I sit beside her and take her hand. It's bonier than I remember. "Why are you sorry? Where's Josh?"

She shrugs. "I tried to call him too. And I told the carer she could go, but she wouldn't until you'd given her the all-clear. I know how expensive it is."

"Mum," I whisper, "please don't worry about all that. We're fine, and with this extra money, I can afford it."

"Maybe Josh is sleeping at his friend's," she suggests.

I give a nod. "Yeah, he might have mentioned that, but I'll just call him to check."

I'm in the kitchen calling when I hear the front door open and Josh stumbles in. He's pale and his eyes look weird. "You okay?" I ask, peering closer. He makes a small humming noise, and I frown. "What's wrong? Are you drunk?"

"I don't feel good," he mutters, pulling out a chair and lowering. He rests his head on the table.

"Like you're sick?" I ask, feeling the back of his neck. He's clammy. "Do you need a doctor?"

He shakes his head. "Water."

I get him a glass and watch as he downs the entire pint. "Josh, have you taken anything?" I've never been worried about that sort of thing with him as he's always seemed sensible . . . well, up until lately anyway.

"Don't be stupid."

"Let's get you to hospital then, have you checked out." He looks up, alarmed. "I didn't think so," I hiss. "What have you taken?"

"It was one time," he mutters. "I won't do it again."

"One time?" I screech. "One time doing what?"

"A few lines of coke."

"Oh my god," I cry.

"It's no big deal, Nora, everyone my age does it."

"I can guarantee they don't," I snap. "You think we need this bullshit on top of everything else?"

"You're like a broken record," he mutters, pushing to stand. "Night."

"Josh," I snap, but he continues on, ignoring me. I bury my face in my hands. I feel like running away from all of this and going back to my old life, where I could drink wine on the weekends and meet my friends for late dinners.