Chapter 4

NATHAN

In the light of the day, I thought maybe I'd have some clarity. But I felt more unsure than ever. It wasn't something I was used to. Not to mention feelings, in general, weren't something I was used to dealing with too often.

When I woke up with Aiden's body wrapped around me, my first thought was how I would do anything for him, anything to protect him, anything to keep him. That he was mine.

The obsession I had with him was unnerving. As I stood next to the bed, watching his prone body cling to the pillow I'd shoved in his arms to take my place, I tried to figure out what was wrong with me. I'd never hesitated when I found someone before. I took what I wanted, and there was nothing, and no one, to stop me.

My hand reached out and stopped just above him. I wanted to run my hands down his scars, wanted to worship them, and revel in their beauty.

He was a work of art. Perfection.

I'd crossed a line with him the night before and I was still surprised he hadn't kicked me out after he came. When I'd had my arm wrapped around him, holding his life in my hands, nothing could have compared to the rush I'd felt. It had been a high like no other.

Why did I let go?

Anyone else would have been dead within moments. I still couldn't figure out why I hesitated and let go. Let him go. But I couldn't. Even though I knew he couldn't be left alive. It was his time to die. Aiden Cooper was next on my list.

So why did I hesitate?

I continued to stare at him as I tried to work the puzzle out. There was something about this man that I couldn't take his life. And it almost pissed me off. I liked things a certain way and never deviated from how I did things.

Until Aiden Cooper came into my life.

I moved my hand up and softly stroked the messy tendrils of his silky hair. The act had me puzzled, as I wasn't an overly touchy person. I didn't usually do affection. Sex was usually just something I had to do to get off and relieve the tension and stress. Yet I could barely resist the urge to touch him.

Before I was able to move back, Aiden started to stir under my hand. When his eyes started to flutter, I knew I needed to get out of there before I did something stupid—or rather, something even stupider than I'd already done.

With a quiet sigh, I let my index finger graze over his smooth cheek one last time before I silently slipped out the door. He had a reprieve and he didn't need to realize how close he had come to death, more than once.

I was halfway to my car when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out and swore when I saw Christian's name on my caller ID.

"What?" I bit out as I tried to reign in my frustration. It wasn't his fault I'd had to leave my little bird, and it left me feeling all kinds of wrong.

"Wow, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning," he teased with a chuckle.

I let out a grumble but didn't say anything. If only he knew how wrong he was, because everything had been right. At least it had, until I couldn't kill Aiden and then had to leave.

Part of me knew I should feel unsatisfied because I hadn't made the kill the night before. But I felt oddly sated. Even though I hadn't killed him, there had been a thrill in knowing I had his life in my hands. I wondered if it was possible for that to be enough. Maybe not forever, but maybe having that sort of power over someone was enough to keep the urge to kill at bay.

I shook my head. It was too early for such introspection. Especially when I had my project foreman on the phone.

"Nothing that has anything to do with my bed is any of your concern, Christian. What did you need, besides to annoy me?"

Last year, I made the mistake of sleeping with the other man. While I hadn't had an urge to kill Christian, I definitely shouldn't have listened to the urges telling me it would be a good idea to fuck him. Sure, he'd been willing to do all the dirty and nasty things I wanted, but it also left things a little messy since he worked for me.

"We have a problem at the house on Collins Ave. Need you to come by and figure out what we should do."

My head fell back and I let out a groan of frustration. I didn't want to figure out what should be done. That was what I hired people like Christian for, so things could get fixed and resolved while involving me as little as possible.

The anonymity was what worked for me. People didn't need to know who I was. While I had over a dozen shell corporations that handled the financial and legal records of the thirty or so properties I owned, I had little to do with them publicly. This way, if I ever needed to use a property for any of my extracurricular activities, there was no way to tie me to the property.

While Christian didn't know the sort of man I really was, he did know I preferred to be more of a recluse and live high up in my castle away from people. However, as the person who I trusted most to oversee all the property renovations, he also knew I was the owner of the properties. It might have been careless, having one person know that much about me, but I couldn't bring myself to trust even more people with what I needed to do.

Christian didn't ask questions, especially about my personal life, even when he was dying to know something.

"Fuck. Give me a half hour to get there." I knew I should have stopped at home first to change so I wouldn't be showing up in the same suit I'd worn to the wedding, but there wasn't anyone I was going to run into who would have seen me there.

Plus, I needed to deal with whatever it was Christian needed help with so I could get back home and pour a glass of bourbon while I tried to find a new victim since I'd let my little bird fly away.

I could already feel the itching starting under my skin and knew it was going to be a hell of a day.

Fuck my life.