Chapter 5

CALEB

Ifroze, my hand gripping my cock. I wouldn't let Eli see how much those words affected me. I wanted to focus, pushing myself into him even though Eli had just fucking slashed through my heart.

I took in the sight of him. The muscles of his back and the taunt lines of his arms as I forced his face into the wall. Hair stuck to his forehead, sweat beading along his shoulderblades, lips open as he panted and gasped my name, like he didn't give a fuck that I could crush his skull if I wanted to.

"Why the fuck do you think something's wrong?" I growled, falling forward, my hand flat on the concrete beside his. I wanted to weave my fingers through his, to pull him close to my chest and bury my face in his hair like I had minutes ago. It was so fucking close and good, and I drew back my cock just to shove into him again and listen to him descend into moans.

Why did he have to be like this? Why did he need me to fuck him like that? Why wouldn't he let me show him how I felt?

I could see it in his eyes. It was there too. He didn't just want the pain, he needed me as much as I needed him. And I barely knew anything about him or why the fuck he even wanted it. I didn't think about asking until he came back from the city looking like he was ready to destroy anyone who got in his way. And it was fucking toxic, especially when he came right at me.

I guessed he went to visit his whore. Maybe that was the reason he was gagging so hard for me.

I liked the rough sex, the nearly non-consensual shit I put him through. I got off on the way he fought me, like he was trying to escape. But did I have to hate him? Was that what he really wanted?

I ran my gaze over him, my fingers denting his hip as I started to rock, sinking deeper with each movement of my hips.

"You want me to hate you, Eli? You want me to fuck you like you're just a hole?" And not the guy I was whipped over.

"Yeah, if you can do it," he croaked under my hand. "Because all I'm getting from you are weak thrusts. It's like I can't even feel you in my ass."

I grit my teeth, shifting my fingers to clutch the back of his neck, keeping him fixed as I thrust so hard I swear the concrete fucking walls were shaking with the sound of his scream.

I'd ruin him if I had to, just so he would stay with me.

It was enough to distract him from whatever was rolling around in his head, and set him off all over again. I wasn't fucking doing this. I wasn't fucking thinking of what it could mean if I actually told him. He made me like this. He did this to me. My life would have been so much easier if I had never met him, or had to see him bow to me as my cock sunk into him.

"And I thought I was a greedy slut," he choked out on a laugh, the hitch of his lips fucking poisonous.

He was still too tight, shuddering, and his cock was leaking so badly it covered my wrist.

"Fuck, just watching your hungry ass suck up my cock is a fucking treat. I should film it so I can show you how greedy your ass is."

He whimpered like the little bitch he was. He was so desperate for me, so hot he was practically crying out for me, but he still wouldn't let me hold him.

The pride that swirled through me from knowing I was the one making Eli Jensen bend under me was another sign I'd let this get out of control.

Though it was never my choice.

I leaned back, looking at the sheer fucking beauty below me. Eli, with his ass pushed out, my cock thrusting inside of him. And I realised I'd wanted to see it since I first went up against him in the ring. That first day where we beat the shit out of each other, and we kept going, ignoring the ref when he called it a tie so we could keep punching each other.

I pulled out of him, his ass puckering as I popped free. It was too dry, and I was catching on him. No matter how much I talked shit, I wasn't tearing his ass just because Eli wanted the pain.

"Caleb," he groaned, twisting and reaching back for me. I wanted to smash his entire fucking face into the wall so he couldn't fucking look at me and see what he was doing to me. It wasn't fair that he looked at me like that but wouldn't let me love him.

"I'm not reaching for the lube this time." I bit out through hard teeth. "You don't deserve anything but my spit,"

"Do it," he said hoarsely. "Give it to me."

I kept hold of my cock as I leaned over him, gathering up enough spit in my mouth that I hoped it would be good enough. I leaned over him, dropping my bottom lip and letting as much out as I could.

Eli moaned as the cool spit hit his tailbone and ran neatly between his ass cheeks. I used my free hand to quickly grab it and spread it over his asshole with my thumb, circling him three times to wind him up and make sure he could feel me before I pushed into him, sliding straight in with no resistance.

"Holy shit, Eli. I'm not even touching your fucking sides."

I released my cock, grabbing his ass cheek and spreading him open. "Your ass is fucking gaping. Is that how slutty your hole is? You just leave it open for anyone?"

As I explored, I pressed my thumb all around his asshole, seeing how far he really stretched. I wanted him to tell me he was only fucking me, that his hole was mine. That he wouldn't dare be with anyone else when he knew he belonged to me.

My eyes closed slowly as I tried to get myself back to a place where I was fucking furious at him for making me feel this way. Did it mean I hated him? Maybe. But if I hated him, then I wouldn't be so addicted to the noise he made as I pushed my fingers against his tailbone and tugged at his asshole with my thumb.

"I need your cock inside me," Eli whined, but there was something else. He turned his face from me again, chin dipped, his palms flat on the wall. I swear I saw him shake with something other than fucking need as I switched my thumb to two fingers.

I couldn't figure out what the fuck was going on. He didn't hide from me. The Eli I loved always stared me down like he would kill me if I said the wrong fucking thing, even when he was coming around my cock.

"I have to make sure your ass is all nice and wet for me first, haven't I?" I snarled, resisting the urge to rub my nose against his shoulder and ask him to tell me what the fuck was wrong, to share that part of himself with me.

I spat on my cock again, rubbing myself with my free hand to get myself ready for him. "You want to be filled again, Eli? You want something plugging your hole?"

He scoffed from the back of his throat, still avoiding me. "Give me everything you've got."

"You asked for it," I growled, clenching my jaw as his shoulders hunched, like he was trying to hold himself back.

And I wasn't having any of it.

I grabbed his waist, pressing my tip against his loose ass before I surged forward, both of us yelling out as my hips smacked into his, bone against bone, the absolute force of two-hundred-plus-pound guys fighting and fucking.

We both stilled, Eli's shoulders rising and falling against my back. And the longer we stayed like that, the closer I was to holding him.

With my cock buried inside him, I leaned forward, reaching around, my fingers sweeping across his thighs. I was going to go for his cock, but if I was ready to spurt, what was happening with him? I didn't want him fucking blowing his load so early. He needed to work for it.

So, I dipped my hand down farther and went straight for his balls, harshly grabbing him.

The second he gasped, I rocked my hips again, and he collapsed forward.

"Does my little slut like it when I play with his balls?" I asked as I gave him a hard squeeze and another cry burst from him.

"I want everything. Just don't stop."

My eyes closed as the words pierced straight into me. It was even more difficult when he said shit like that. He wanted me to hate him but give him everything at the same time? What the fuck was that?

I dropped my teeth to his shoulder again. I wanted to hurt him, tear him apart, fucking ruin him if I had to. If I could get inside his flesh, mix my blood with his, he wouldn't be able to escape me.

Biting him again, I savored his hiss of pain as I rolled his sac between my fingers, fucking crushing him in my hand until his ass was relaxed enough that I could move inside him.

"Fuck, Eli. What about this? Can you feel me now?"

I kept going. Alternating between his balls and thrusts of my cock. Each sound from Eli had me pounding faster into him until we were both fucking losing it. Squeeze, thrust, squeeze, thrust. Until I set up a steady rhythm which had both of us moaning like fucking animals as I drew myself closer to him.

"Eli, fucking hell," I gasped. My movement was so steady my balls were swinging under me, my thighs bouncing off of his, and my knees bent so I could drive into him from below.

It was so difficult when everything felt so fucking right. I'd been thirsting over him for more than a fucking year and every time I put my dick in him it did way more bad than good. But I just couldn't stop.

"You feel so good," I murmured against him, pressing my nose to his shoulder.

Shifting, I grabbed Eli's cock and his whole body jolted. "Caleb, please," he rasped, though it almost sounded like a sob. "I need it harder."

I couldn't tell what the fuck was going on with him, why he was so eager today, but my blood was boiling for him.

I couldn't stand up properly when I was teasing his cock. I couldn't take the sheer fucking need hammering through me, and instead of doing something normal like pushing my hand back against the concrete or even just not fucking touching him, I wrapped my arm around his chest, buried so deep inside him I knew I was never getting free.

"Keep going, baby, you're almost there," I moaned, too fucking gone to stop myself. I couldn't hate him when we were perfect together.

He didn't freeze or try to get away from me or any of that shit. He shuddered under me, throwing his head back, crying out so loudly I knew he was coming. And I'd fucking done that to him.

We both shouted out, absolute pleasure fucking pounding through me. It was the cold of the closet that kept me anchored, and stopped me destroying his ass as I went crazy, drunk on him.

Both of us were panting, melting, his heart racing right next to mine as I stayed close. It was so intense all I could do was hold him, my forehead stuck to the top of his spine, wheezing, and trying to hold back all the emotions that were threatening to burst free.

I was so fucking glad we weren't facing each other. I wanted to kiss him, fuck him, love on him so desperately that he wouldn't be able to breathe without me. To take it so much further than his gasping shouts for more and his hesitant whispers for me to stop. He was fucking mine and he was hiding from me, and I couldn't fucking stand it.

He'd ruined me. I was drowning in a fucking cesspool of emotions that there was no way out.

"Jesus, Eli." I groaned as his dick twitched against my arm. "What am I going to do with you?"

I flattened my lips to his neck as he trembled in my arms, sending me over the edge. My hot cum spread around my dick, and I stayed pressed to him as I came.

I was such a monumental fuck up that I'd gone and let myself fall in love with Eli, and the worst thing was, I almost asked him if he loved me too.